I am just sitting here in front of my computer and figuring out what to write. It’s been a whirlwind of feelings for me right now. My last post has been so depressing that I have been contemplating of quitting. I never thought of anyone so mean and arrogant and judgmental to other people.
One commenter on my last post was just so narrow minded. He only wants to see himself, not even wanting to listen to others. Anyone’s comments and advice are always welcome on this site. We never discriminate anyone here. You can say what you want just don’t use foul language and no personal attacks. I think that’s not too much to ask here.
I am trying to write about my feelings and my experiences here and when I was living in the States for 10 years. I am trying not to step into somebody’s toes here. I never intended to do that. I am writing how a former Philippine resident of 21 years, went and lived abroad for 10 years, then came back to live here again. I just wanted to share my experiences when I used to live on the other side of the world. I am trying to share my experiences to the ladies who are married to foreigners or an OFW people who live abroad and wanting to come back here for good.
I’ve been saying here for a long time that it’s not an easy adjustment on coming back here to the Philippines for me. It took me a long time to adjust. It was not fun for me at first to live here. It takes time and commitment.
I never thought of myself as higher than anyone else because I lived in the other country for a long time. I just think of it as a good experience and loved to share it with my family and others that want to listen. I am really happy now to be back here in my country, it was a good choice for me and Bob. Chris was the first thing that we did considered in coming back here to live. My family was really the big help with him and for him. Plus it was really good for my kids knowing my family and my family knowing my kids. Before when my kids were growing up, the only people that they really knew was the family of Bob. Nothing wrong with that though. It just nice now that my kids at least saw and knew my mom even for just a few years. At least they had good and sad memories of my mom. That’s when my mom started to get frail and not in good health already. My kids helped out a bit watching my mom when she was staying with us. Bless her soul now.
I’ve been asked on the email a lot of questions about how I felt about the life when I used to lived abroad and the life living here again, they want some of my thoughts on that. Instead of answering to one person sometimes I will share my thoughts to all of you. I know some people might have the same questions in mind and just too shy to ask us here.
Thank you guys for visiting our sites and sharing your thoughts too.
Cheers!
we all luvs ya 😉 so no quittin’ !
there’s always going to be the disagreeable one, but we all know the real deal.
thx to Bob and you for providing this wonderful resource.
Hi Pete – Thank you so much for the uplift. It’s just annoying sometimes to have somebody like that here.
Thanks for the love. Take care!
Hi, I am new to your site but enjoy reading your posts so don’t give it up. There are always going to be stupid people who don’t have anything nice to say, you just have to ignore them and focus on the positive. I am married to a filipina from N. Samar. I was able to bring her home last year for the first time in almost 19 years, it was a very good homecoming for her. Now we are considering moving to the Philippines, at least part time, so I like visiting sites like this one to get information and your prospective. Thank you for the info that you provide.
Mike
Hi Mike J – I’m glad you find time to comment here, thank you so much. good that you guys finally came to Samar for a visit. It must be new to your wife again, reconnecting with the family. I’m glad that you got good info here on our site. Keep reading, if you have some questions feel free to ask. Lots of people here will try to help you any way they can.
Thank you so much for stopping by and the nice comment.
Take care!
Feyma
do not every let just one get at u girl there is a old saying the dogs keep on barking but the train keeps on runing mate a friend off mine did tell me that some year a go and it as been a big help to me as i have had a lot off ups and down over the last 7 years married to my filipina wife ppl telling me to leave her and find some one new and a lot off bad thinks like this and all over my wife not geting her vica but i never give in or give up mate and here we are married now for 7 long years and still very in love so plz never let some one up set u or get at u god loves u and with him there is allways hope…….god bless……
Hi peterjoy – It’s always good to hear from you mate. Thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate that. Sometimes it really wear you down when you hear someone so mean and attacking you personally. I’m glad I had people here also that so understanding and supportive.
I’m happy for you and your wifey for the 7 years of marriage. Good to see you here again mate.
Take care & God bless!
Mrs Feyma,
Your info and insight along with Bob’s are always greatly appreciated. I think it would be a great disservice to yourself if someone didn’t take the opportunity to read your posts. You will always learn something new that can help you in the future. Just keep doing what your doing and ignore the very small ignorant minority. Be safe.
Hi Papa Duck – Thank you so much… I highly appreciate your confidence in me. Really good to see you guys here a lot.
Take care!
Hi Feyma – Just you keep on writing after all its how you perceive life and how you live it that counts. Not everyone has the same writing style or the ability to make themselves clearly understood as there is a wide variety of cultures participating here.
You should not take another persons point of view on a subject as a personal attack on your way of seeing life but rather, I never though of it that way.
The old saying; ‘You can please some of the folks some of the time, but not all of the folks all of the time’ comes to mind.
Regards.
Jim.
Hi Jim – Thank you Jim. I know what you mean. I always say to myself even before that no matter what somebody will complained and I could never please everyone here. But on the other hand, I was thinking of, I was helping the Pinays on their adjustments here and abroad. Oh well, part of life I guess!
Good to see you here again.
Take care!
Feyma:
You are who you are… Those who know you and care for you are all who really matter.
I think that the relative anonymity of the Internet encourages some people to write things that they would never say to someone’s face. Shielded behind this anonymity, they are always right, you are always wrong and stupid, and they become tough guys.
Your views truly give this website a different perspective from the other Philippines sites on the web. You offer your life experiences to those who should listen. Your experience in returning here was quite similar to Rebecca’s… She experienced many of the same things as you, and by reading your articles, she knew she was not alone in her feelings. So I can tell you first hand that your insights made at least one person’s move here a little bit easier.
Yes, there are some who comment on this site who seemingly haven’t got a clue but nonetheless seem determined to spread their wisdom. Most of your long-term readers know who they are. Ignore the occasional snipe… It is not worth getting upset. If you enjoy writing then keep doing it. When it becomes tiresome, burdensome, and stops being fun, then why continue?
Hi John – Somebody just emailed me privately about what you just mention. People on the internet that I never met and know personally will say like what this guy just did because nobody know who they are. But still its hurtful what they say though.
I know Rebecca also had a hard time living back here. When she was here, during you guys visit we even give each other high fives. We just had so many incidents that were so similar.
It’s really fun sharing my experiences here and knowing a lot of people here too (of course that includes you and Rebecca) , and the helped that the LIP family provided to the needy one here in the Philippines.
As always good to see you here.
Take care!
Keep on keeping on, Feyma. There are many of us out here who know that you and Bob are the ‘real deal’. We value your insights and comments.
It’s a very interesting thought and one that many foreigners seem to miss .. moving back to the Philippines and adjusting to life here is often much harder for a Filipino spouse/homemaker/mother than it is for the foreigner himself.
Just as you pointed out in the original article which led to all the furor, it’s not only much harder to be “poor” in the Philippines, but in many ways it’s much harder to deal with normal day-to-day activities here even for those who are blessed with adequate income.
I’m not saying that to scare people off, but it’s something many foreigners (and their partners) should take into consideration.
Looking forward to our next trip to Davao ….
Hi Dave – To you and Mita, thank you so much for the friendship.
At least you know more of what I am talking about because you are living here for a long time now too.
Looking forward to seeing you and Mita and the boys.
Take care!
Try not to let him (from your last post) get to you Feyma. If you rounded up 1,000 random people off the street, most of them would agree on any given subject but a few would be really “extreme” either for or against what is being discussed. You, unfortunately stumbled across that 1% “bully” who is really extreme in his thinking.
I for one think you are doing a great job in your articles and that you have a unique perspective, having live in both the USA and of course, the Philippines. Keep up the good work.
Hi Rich321 – Thank you so much for the nice comment. I highly appreciate that.
As always good to see you here again.
Take care!
I hope you soon forget the wacko words that were sent your way. My reading of them was that the author had no real idea of what he was talking about. That said we must rember the more radical a person is the less likely they will ever see or learn the truth. I for one thought you had a good artical and from reading the responses from the others I think the large majority of people in your audiance also appreciated you wrighting. Some times a person looking at a place for a few years has a much better perspective of what is going on than someone who has never looked from the outside. Keep up the good work and enjoy your life. a fan, loren & merced
Hi Loren Pogue & Merced – Thank you so much for the nice uplift. I really am thankful to you guys.
Always appreciate you stopping by here.
Take care!
Don’t quit Feyma! The wife and I love your posts.
My wife is in your shoes now being here in the US and so far from home. She misses her home in Lagao, Gensan. Maybe one day we will get her back home to stay for a while. We appreciate all your hard work and the stories you tell about making the move back home. So keep up the good work.
Hi Darin Collins – As always thank you so much for the nice comment. I really appreciate your thought. Hey, I’m from Lagao, General Santos City too. Hmmm, what a small world.
Good to see you here and Go Generals or Gensanites…
Take care!
Feyma, I always enjoy reading your articles. Please don’t stop. I really like your perspective on the culture there. Keep up the good work!!
Hi Heidi – Thank you very much…. With you guys respond to me I will not stop then…
Glad to see you here.
Take care!
Hi feyma chin up ,you have seen both side of the coin no one could ever expect you not to miss or want to return to the phillipines ,look at me i dont even come from there and i wanted to return and live there alas it doesnt seem that thi will hapen now oh well keep writing your point of veiw is always appreciated
chris
Ha ha… the truth is, Feyma did not want to come back and live in the Philippines. I am the one who wanted to live here. It took me several years to convince her to return here.
oh well 50% chance and i blew it good to see you again bob
chris
Ha ha. you didn’t blow it, chris, it’s probably the most likely scenario, just not how it happened for us! 😉
Hi feyma just went back to check out what all the who ha is about ,wow that person didnt say were he came from but i can tell you ,it was the rock ,the rock someone kicked over and he crawled out from underneath hopefull he has crawled back under it
chris
With my wife and I likewise, Chris. She certainly didn’t ‘bring me to the Philippines’, I brought her back. If I said, “Let’s leave” some morning, I think she’d be settled in on the pane before I could get my ticket purchased. Not every Phil-Am couple is in the Philippines because of the “Phil” half, that’s for sure
Hi chris – Thank you so much… You know with a lot of you guys appreciate what I did here, I will not quit. I will continue helping a lot of the ladies and the people that wanting my help here.
Thank you again for stopping here. Thank you for posting here too.
Take care!
Hi Feyma
I add my few words to the other posts. Please keep on writing, it is good to see the feminine view on different subjects. We girls often see things from a different aspect to the men in our lives. You also have much experience to pass on.
Keep up the good work
All the Best Marjorie
Hi marjorie – Thank you so much for the nice comment. I really appreciate very much.
Thank you for stopping by here always.
Take care!
I have really enjoyed reading your posts Feyma. You have a unique perspective having been raised in the Philippines and later living abroad. Don’t let a few misguided people discourage you. Please continue to share your insights.
Hi Davis S. – Thank you so much for the nice comment. I am happy to know that lots of you really enjoyed what I shared here.
Thank you again!
The Bayoy-Martins are no quitters…
Hi Jon – Thank you so much. You really are a true friend to me and Bob.
When are you guys visiting Davao again? Hope to see you guys soon.
Take care!
Sadly Feyma,
I can feel your frustration as a writer for the site. As a reader and a former regular poster, I have just about given up giving my insights on any given topic here. Along with just about every post, comes such ultraconservative political posturing and bitter anger over topics–mostly not even relating to the topic being discussed. or even the Philippines!
I feel that as an American woman married to a Filipino, my views or opinions hold very little support or credibility here on this site. This past year I have seen many other regular contributors with interesting world views and Philippine experience who no longer give input on your site. I can’t speak for them, but could imagine that they might feel the same way that I do.
I feel that the climate of your site has changed quite a lot due to many contributors who use it as a soapbox for their own personal venting.
I know that it’s a reflection of the troubled times that we live in, but how does anyone feel that this contributes in any way to gaining information or experience about the Philippines, or someday making the move to the Philippines and living in a positive or productive way?
Do you or others observe any of these changes? Is there any way to turn the site around to the unique one what it once was, or is it like fighting against the tide on a weekly basis?
Queenie
Glad you said what you said, Queenie. A lot of folks who used to be regular commenters on my blog are not there any more because I won’t put up with the radical politically-oriented vitrilo which now somehow passes for civil debate in so many western counties. And you know what? I don’t miss them 😉
Thanks for understanding Dave. I know what you mean. It’s a sign of the times I guess, but unfortunately can detract from others who might have earnest and valid comments and insights to share.
I think the best way to combat that kind of thing is to continue commenting with positive comments, and not give in to the bullies. I have tried hard to steer the site away from US politics as much as possible, but some people wish to go there. If those who are interested in commenting on the topic at hand would continue, it would water down those who can’t stay on topic.
Feyma – Never stop your very informative and inpirational post. You and every one else’s contributions whether it’s in the informational, humanatarian or humorus arena, are appreciated 100 fold more than a single complainer. In every area of this winding world there is always some brain dead ignoramus anal attentive whinning loser who instead of looking at themselves as the cause, always look to point the blame of their or the world’s problems or failures on anyone but themselves. So carry on with your post…never stop or slow down…keep the writing going. Having been married to my precious filipina for 37 years now, I throughly relate to, and enjoy all the serious, humorus and informative subjects presented here. Write Feyma Write!!!!!
Hi John D – Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed our post here. I really appreciate you guys positive comments here. Its uplifting to me.
I am happy to know that you’ve been married to your wife for 37 years. Congrats on that. Hats off to you both.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting here on our site. Hi to your wife too.
Take care & God bless!
Some people are miserble and want to make others the same. Brush it off just like Bob’s jeepney incident. Pray for your enemys and forgive them its hard but try. Your a great blessing to this site, so please don’t quit. Bob’s a lucky guy to have you and to have lived in 2 worlds ( US & PI ). My wife is the same way a little unkindness from someone and it breaks her heart. To me its not a big deal people made fun of me as the fat kid and I when I got sick of it I just beat them up ha ha ha. Take care and God bless, don’t let peoples words hurt you. They might have taken something the wrong way too or just got fired from there job. Later, Brian
Hi RoninWolf on FB – That could be, he might just be waken up on the wrong side of the bed. Well, I am glad lots of you enjoyed what I shared on the site. I really thank you for the nice comment you made. I really appreciate highly.
Happy to see you here.
Take care!
Hi Feyma, I also appreciate the insights and stories on this site. I am moving to join my family in the Philippines within a month and feel better prepared having visited your site so often in the past few years. I don’t always agree with or like what I read, especially in the comments section, but I try not to get all worked up about it. Some people seem to think they have all the answers and solutions to all of the worlds problems if only people will listen to them. Frustrated geniuses (or so they think!) Most of the articles are engaging and sometimes provacative, and the writers should be able to feel free to speak their minds without being afraid of offending someone, otherwise the articles will become bland and boring. We each have our unique history and experience that we speak from, and as long as the writers here continue to be brave enough to write in such an open and honest fashion with honorable intentions, this site should continue to be top of the line. Unfortunately this kind of openness will always attract rude jerks who make things personal, that’s just the nature of the internet. Sometimes also what is written may be misunderstood, but the comments should clear that up usually. The important thing is that Bob continues to be vigilant and step up to clarify misunderstandings or defend the dignity of his writers if necessary, as he has done so well in the past.
Hi Gary – Thank you so much for the good comment and good observation on the site. I’m glad that you finds our site helpful to you on your preparation to move here. I will say welcome to the Philippines and good luck to you on your new venture of living here in the Philippines. You will be fine here. Just carry EXTRA patience with you. You will need that once in awhile.
Good luck and have fun!
Take care!
The words you write offer bits of information on understanding my wife’s and other Filipino’s culture. We have been married close to 21 years and reading your perspective there on life is very helpful. Keep up the good work!
Hi Rob – Thank you very much. Highly appreciated! We almost had the same years of being married. Good for you guys. Keep it up.
Thank you for stopping by here.
Take care!
Hi Feyma,
Although I do not comment on every single item I read, I certainly enjoy reading your articles as well as all of the others on ” LIP “. In thinking about it, I have learned the most in general about The Philippines here on ” LIP ” than any other single website I can think of. A few years ago the information learned from you and Bob became a primary deciding factor in making the decision to visit, and inspired additional visits. As you know from some of the items I have posted here on ” LIP ” my visits not only the best vacations I have ever experienced but have also been of benefit to those there, that may be a lot less fortunate than most of us here on this website.
I think anyone who posts things on the internet on any kind or regular basis gets ” trolled “, just to get a reaction. It is unfortunate that those who entertain themselves by doing this can not figure it out for themselves that if it is attention they desire, they would get more of it by contributing to the discussion in a more respectful way.
Sure, there are times where I do not agree with something I read and I try to carefully consider my response to avoid being offensive or berating the writer. Some times this takes a little more thought and time.
Additionally I am sure there are many who never comment on this site but appreciate what they see and read and keep comming back for more.
Hi Bob New York – Thank you so much. Its really good seeing you here a lot. I’ve also enjoyed seeing your post on your visits to Iligan. I really appreciate that you shared that to all of us here.
I tried not to be bothered with the psychopath/lunatics guy. It will not be easy, but I will try not to be bothered by him now.
Thanks again Bob. Always good to see you here.
Take care!
Hi Feyma,
I do not write on here often but read everyday. I always enjoy your thoughts. My wife will be here in America 10yrs when I retire. We are hoping to live part time in each country. Your thoughts are very much appreciated and helpful. Please continue to write.
Thank you
Hi BRIAN – Thank you so much.I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts here. Good luck to you and your wife. Have fun on your coming retirement.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Take care!
Stick in their Feyma, most here love you.
As we say in my part of the world, “Don’t let the Bast*rds grind you down, just roll with the punches”.
Keep writing,
Keep smiling,
Chas.
Hi Chas – Thank you Chas. I know that you’re one of the people that loved me here. I really appreciate you & Sheryl for that.
Can’t wait to see you retiring here anytime soon.
Take care!
Hi Feyma,
It’s just the nature of the beast: Even though you “own” a Web site, when you open it for user-contributed content such as the Post Comment functionality and the LIP Forums, people of all kinds will use and (unfortunately) abuse it. Know that the LIP Web site has been tremendously helpful, so keep on writing and never let a**h*les deter you!
Hi Isagani Cruz – I know what you mean. It just not easy to handle these kind of people sometime.
Thank you for the uplift. Highly appreciated.
Nice to see you here! Take care!
Hi Feyma
Well done, I enjoyed your post. Keep up the good work! Maybe we will see you again January!
Regards
From Malcolm and Jenny
Hi Malcom – Thank you so much. Hope to see you and Jenny in January then.
Take care!
Hi Feyma: Your articles are most helpful to us, especially Filipino-Americans who are contemplating to return to PI for retirement. Your perspective are from both worlds (PI and US). I value your opinions very highly. Keep up the good work.
Hi Roselyn – Thank you so much. I am grateful for your trust. I am trying to give the positive and the negative of the life here. I want to share my experiences of living here and the life I lived in the States. I compare them sometimes.
I really appreciate you guys thoughts.
As always nice to see you here. Keep reading and keep dropping a note here.
Take care!
Hello Feyma; I am very surprise to those people who make that comment.Just plain ignorant to me.Don’t let that person stop you.keep up the good writing ..take care hopefully we will meet each other when we visit my home town in Davao.
Hi Linda In RI – Thank you for the nice comment. I really appreciate that.
Yeah, hope to see you guys when you visit Davao next time.
Take care!