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Major Brain Farts

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As I rush towards age 71 years old I’ve noticed the brain farts seem to mount up and become more common every day.

Yes, I’ve walked into a room and then stood there and wondered why I was there? A joke I posted on Facebook: I walked into a room yesterday and knew why I was there, but it was the bathroom!

Throwaway Ticket Service - The Business that works while you sleep

On the “Puter” I need to switch programs and close one out and then wonder what my plan was.

The classic was last weekend when I planned on lunch with friends on Sunday but then remembered I never called him until Sunday, to ask if he and his wife would like to go. He declined, and laughed at me!

Alzheimer’s or Old-Timers disease, I think it’s not that at all, it’s a “Brain Fart” I know this is true because I’ve done this for years.

Senior Chief your're retired

Senior Chief you’re retired

Shortly after I retired from the Navy, I woke up and dressed in my uniform and was driving to the base when I remember I was retired. So I stopped and had a nice breakfast and drove home and put on my shorts and went to the beach.

In my younger days, if we partied over the weekend and someone would ask about it, our standard response was “If you don’t remember it, then it just didn’t happen!”

The brain fart can happen to anyone at any time, except LiP readers for reasons I can’t explain and to me more often than most.

I receive an E-mail from Bob Martin once in a while asking if I’ll be sending in an article, I understand his concern as this is his livelihood and quite a few times it was Internet or computer glitches on my end that worked out in time. But in April he asked again on Sunday morning if I was having a problem again? I wondered why, until I realized that like before, this time I thought it was Saturday, and I still had time. It wasn’t, I didn’t!

What I'm talking about

What I’m talking about

If you don’t think Bob has a hard job, think again!!!

Mahal Ko, where is this, where is that and her favorite: “What is today, Wednesday or Thursday? Then she answers: “It is Monday Paul.”

Then it is names and failing to remember them, in the Navy or Merchant Marine, you could call them by their rate, like a boatswains mate just call him “Boats”, or a Signalman call him “Flags” or the catchall where you’ll never be wrong: “SHIPMATE”

In the Philippines Pare or neighbor or just smile… or call everyone Joe and get a laugh. I have learned every trick in the book I was a First Class Petty Officer in Mombasa Kenya in Hotel bar and met the recently defrocked former Vice President Spiro Agnew where because I was an American (My Navy ID was checked by an SS Agent) he bought me a drink, If the SS Agent hadn’t said;”The Vice President would like to buy you a drink.” He had me with “DRINK” but I had no idea what his name was.. but I knew it wasn’t Jerry Ford, because he didn’t fall down.

Thank you Mister Vice President; and damn if I didn’t get it right. But the Cheap SOB only bought one drink and he was gone. I’d rather have a beer with the SS Agent.

I will continue to fake it, as I have for the past seventy years, and I owe it all too good old what’s his name!

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Paul Thompson

Paul Thompson; has resided in the Philippines since 1993, living close to Subic Bay. I’m married to a wonderful girl named Maria (AKA Mayang).Who is from Gordon Heights in Olongapo where she grew up with her Mom & Dad and seven siblings Our two daughters are both grown up and have left the nest, the eldest married to a wonderful guy named Chris, and they have blessed us with our granddaughter Heather Colleen Our youngest daughter and her husband Cecil have blessed us with a grandson named. Jayden Logan. I’m a retired U.S. NAVY Senior Chief after 22 years of active duty. After retirement from the Navy I lived for 7 years in Puerto Rico as a Night Club owner. Then Hurricane Hugo told me to find a new line of work, I was hired by Military Sealift Command and went back to sea in Asia as a Merchant Seaman for 10 years. After 30 plus years at sea I buried my anchor on a mountain in the Philippines and am now residing in Dinalupihan (or DinBat for short), Roosevelt, Bataan where we built our home. And last but not least, anything I writes will be pure "Tongue in Cheek "If anybody is offended, I'll lose no sleep over it, but here's a quick Mea Culpa in advance!

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john.j.
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john.j.

Know the feeling Paul, its a philippine thing where days and time no longer matter, the only day I seem to remember is payday lol.

Lanny Vilensky
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Lanny Vilensky

OMG as I get close to my 5 month renovation of our newly acquired house in Pangasinan I do look around and sometimes wonder what my plans were for the day. When I can’t find my keys, well the house girls feel my frustration and then the apology tour begins when I reach deeper into my pocket. At 62 I see me forgetting more and more and as I watch my dad of 90 who does suffer with dementia I hope I can complete my Philippine house and remember why I left the comfort of the US for this unforgettable… Read more »

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

Lanny; These Philippine homes have keys? I’ve never seen my house empty without some family member being there doing something. I do remember going to town and watching my wife locking our front door and gate, but I wondered if someone was trapped inside. Except for car keys, I’ve yet to have a set of house keys in the past 26 years here. We are this year renovating our ground floor master bedroom and bathroom as it is cheaper than an elevator for me My generator would not power an elevator and eight hours inside it would not be fun.… Read more »

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

John J.;
My wife will tell me to transfer in money from the states on the first of the month, that is when I know it’s payday.Otherwise I’d sleep right through it.

Luke Tynan
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Luke Tynan

Great article, like you I will be 71 in a few months. I too seem to be having more and more brain farts, but maybe I will get lucky and forget all my mistakes and bad choice in life and become perfect. LOL. Thank you for the laugh with your articles.

Rob Ashley
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Rob Ashley

Ha. Another funny one Paul and we all know the missing memory symptoms. Three guys talking about aging. 1st guy says, “You know, sometimes I’m standing at the bottom of the stairs and I can’t remember if I was going up or coming down.” 2nd guy says, “I know. Sometimes I’m standing in front of the refrigerator and I can’t remember if I was taking something out, or putting something back.” 3rd guy says, “Whoa you guys have Alzheimer’s, knock on wood,” He knocks on the counter, looks over his shoulder. “Just a second. I’ve gotta get the door.”

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

Bob;
Good one, that would be me! (LOL)

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

Luke;
Mistakes…if you can’t remember them, they never happened,! That piece of wisdom has served me well for many years. (LOL) If I couldn’t laugh at my failings I’d be doomed..

AJ UK
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AJ UK

Hi Paul

Be careful of the good ladies in our lives when the memory starts to fade.

There will be conversation like “Mahal, When can I go and buy that dress you promised me?” and you thinking to yourself “when on earth did I agree to that?”

Now, do you risk a deaf and dumb dinner with large portions of tight bottom lip or do you pretend you remember?

Either way you lose!

Cheers

AJ UK

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

AJ/UK;
Since she controls the money she could have done that for the last 25 years. I was single for most of my life and am prone to piss away money. When I was drinking it was even worst.So she gives me what I need. (LOL)

PapaDuck
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PapaDuck

Paul,
It’s funny you bring up memory. Believe it or not Anne has more problem’s with memory or hearing than myself. But i try not to mention anything about it as i’m sure my memory will be slipping in the future. Another great topic!

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

PapaDuck;
The truly sad part is within an hour,
neither one of us will remember logging on to LiP. (LOL)

José
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José

Mr Paul T. I can relate but believe it or not, I can still remember my Service Number. ?

José

Paul Thompson
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Paul Thompson

Jose;
Me too 354-9728 it was issued before rge B series. Old stuff I never forget. My daughter will hear a older song on the radio and ask me who sung that, I always know. But what I had for lunch ids a different story! (LOL)

Forgot that
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Forgot that

Who are you? And, why are you on my facebook page? Nevermind, it’s better this way. I need to get back there & get another one of them there whatayacallits… Hmmm… Filipinas, that’s it. This one’s broken, keeps saying the same words, “No, I don’t want to reconcile, I want a house!” Imagine, a house instead of a man. Anyway, so, your the expert, Paul, how many 30 year olds can I get for a 55 year old? One’s who can help me find my clothes which keep disappearing. Yu know, I think it’s that damn cat who keeps takin… Read more »

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