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Moving back to the USA?

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Moving Back to the USA?
Moving Back to the USA?

Why do Expats in the Philippines move back home?

Is Bob Martin going to move back to the USA?

For about 3 years or so now, Feyma and I have seriously been considering moving back to the USA.

Yep. I said it. After having lived in the Philippines, Feyma and I have considered moving back to the USA. Why? Well, for the first 15 years or so of our life here in the Philippines, we felt pretty firm here, no real thoughts about going back “home”.

But, it all started in 2015 or so, the thought started creeping into our minds… maybe we should think of moving back to the USA.

Aaron went back to visit

Aaron went to the States - first time to return sine he was 3 years old
Aaron went to the States – first time to return sine he was 3 years old

In 2015, our son, Aaron went back to the USA for the first time. He mostly went back to visit his grandmother there and to just “get to know” his homeland. Aaron was 3 years old when we moved to the Philippines in 2000.

When Aaron went back for a visit, it was our first time that one of our kids had “flown from the nest” even if it was only temporary. Aaron was in the United States for around 7 months that year. During his absence, especially since it was our first time being separated from one of our kids, Feyma and I started thinking of moving back to the USA.

When the topic first came up, we were pretty excited about it. But we realized it was a very complicated decision to make regarding moving back to the USA.

Since 2015 we have considered moving back to the USA a half-dozen times

A week or two ago a close friend brought this topic up. I chuckled a little bit when he raised it because Feyma and I have been thinking of moving back to the USA for a couple of years. We have had times when we were virtually certain we were moving back to the USA. It has been something we have considered at least a half dozen times over the past 2 to 3 years, probably even more than a half dozen times.

When we first started thinking about moving back to the USA, we felt like 90%+ certain we would do it. However, every time we really consider it closely, we always come down that we will stay in the Philippines.

During August, we were considering it again, and close to pulling the trigger. But, in the end, we came back down on the side of staying put here in the Philippines instead of moving back to the USA.

Reasons we would think of moving back to the USA

  1. Conveniences.
  2. Availability of goods and services.
  3. Time for a change in our lives.
  4. Feyma kind of wants to work and lots of different kinds of work are available there for her.
  5. I would like to get into an online niche that would work better if I were US based.

Reasons not to be moving back to the USA

  1. We would choose to live in more of a rural area (Montana, Wyoming, or Rural Illinois are at the top of our list), but going rural kind of nullifies #1 and #2 above).
  2. Especially when living in a rural area, the availability of public transportation is limited. In general, I feel that public transport is not very good in the USA. You pretty much need to have a car. I am not comfortable driving, especially due to my poor eyesight (which is much better, though).
  3. Both Feyma and I feel that moving back to the USA more or less puts us in a position where we have to start over again. A total reboot of our lives. We feel that at our age, we are not interested in starting over again.

Reasons to leave the Philippines

  1. Lack of conveniences and product availability.
  2. Time for a change.
  3. Some extended family issues that are personal.

Reasons to stay in the Philippines

  1. We enjoy our lives here.
  2. We have a good setup here. Good connections. Things work well for us here. Basically, we have a good place in the community, if you know what I mean. This is an important part of life here.
  3. We have come to really rely on public transport, and like the options here for that. Going anywhere we want to go is convenient and cheap.
  4. Less expensive living (although this is only a minor consideration).

There are probably other things that I have forgotten, but these are major factors.

When we consider moving back to the USA

When we really think about all of this, we always find it easiest and best to decide to stay put here in the Philippines.

Moving back to the USA? We came up with a hybrid solution.

On our last round of considering this, when we again decided it was best for us to stay here in the Philippines, I made a proposal to Feyma that we would just drop the topic from further consideration, but we would make a few changes to our current lifestyle. The main change is that we would try to go to the USA for a visit every year or two.

During our visit to the USA, we would do some travel there, visit friends and relatives. Another big purpose of such a trip would be to buy supplies that are not easy (or impossible) to get here, send Balikbayan Boxes back, etc.

Doing this annual or semi-annual trip would add both fun and functionality to our lives. It would keep the benefits of living here, but also add some of the pluses of moving back to the USA. Both Feyma and I came down that this was a good solution for us, and would give us the best of both options (living in the Philippines vs. moving back to the USA).

Will we consider moving back to the USA again?

Well, given the way we have done for the past few years, we probably will. LoL.

But, we do feel that we have reached a conclusion and a good solution. We’ll see. But, these are our thoughts on the topic of moving back to the USA. Of course, what other expats decide is their personal decision. I don’t think there is a wrong or right answer. In general, whether or not you should be moving back to the USA is a decision that can only be made on a couple by couple basis. What we have decided, I believe, will work well for us.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Don’t go! Seriously, though, Bob, your hybrid solution sounds very much like what Ivy and I have been planning all along. We, of course, have a major advantage in still owning our house in California. We are already planning our first trip back, for about two months next June and July, and will probably make the same pilgrimage every 1-2 years after that. Hope your solution works well for you and Feyma. Also still hope to get to Davao to meet you guys in person sometime before you go…

    • Thanks, David. I have been here for 18+ years and have never been back to the States, sot he hybrid solution is attractive to me. We will have to see how it works out. I don’t expect to be leaving permanently, although it has been considered.

    • David – Just curious – will your wife be travelling on a tourist visa? I’ve heard they are very hard to get

  2. I go through this too from time to time. It’s not an easy decision at all! There are certain luxuries in both places. When my earnings are high, absolutely no desire to leave the Philippines. When there are business struggles, I definitely start walking through the process….

    • Hi Daniel – That is the thing… good things (and bad) on both ends. It really is hard to make a decision. I love Davao, and would kind of hate to leave, but I also have something pulling me to make the move. LoL. It is kind of like you are in limbo!

  3. I understand 100%. Trade-offs are many. Personally, 6 months back and forth would be pretty nice. Los Angeles is very cosmopolitan, with myriads of amenities- but expensive. All I do is teach classes on-line, study and write – so it’s sweet here. I truly love it in Cebu by the sea.

    • Hi Max, I just your article responding to Bob. I have a Masters Degree in Education. I have fallen in love with a lady in General Santos City. I am seriously considering moving there. I see that you teach online. Do you mind sharing with me how I might be able to do the same thing. I would greatly appreciate any and all help that you might give me.

  4. Bob,
    You just have to do what’s best for you. We are like you, we want the best of both worlds. So next April we will be going back to the US and file for Anne’s permanent residency. Since she already has a 10 year Tourist Visa we will file for Adjustment of Status, which should be a little easier. We are planning on spending approximately 6 months in each place once she get’s PR. One of the reason’s is that my parents are in Assisted Living Facility and would like to spend more time with them along with my kid’s and grandkids. Anne really wants to work also while we are there and i wouldn’t mind working just a part time job. It’s good also to have a change of scenery as i do get bored at times.

  6. I hate the 25-30 hour flight from the east coast of the USA to Cebu and it seems we spend to much money when we stay for a months visit ,my big problem with the Philippines is the toilet and shower situation when visiting relatives and the lack off air conditioning and the air pollution staying in the local baranguay

  8. You can live in a suburbian town, mear to an area. It will allow hou to live in a “rural” place but noyfar enough from jobs and conveniences. Consumer goods arebessily available online , even food and groceries. The number of ways to save are numerous here such as coupons, discount apps, rebates, and casbacks that are not even acceptable to use in the Philippines. This is the reason why we are saving and investing in 401K and in other investment portfolios, so when we get to retire in the Philippines aside from our pension, and SS. And just like you, we plan to visit the US from time to time because my husband still has famiky in the US.

  9. Illinois is headed toward bankruptcy. Suggest you remove it as potential future residence if you ever reconsider again to live in states. Enjoyed the article.

    • I am aware of the political situation in IL, but I have a personal reason why it would be good for me. Politically and financially speaking, it would be a no-go zone, but the reason it is on the list transcends those considerations.

      Glad you enjoyed the article.

  10. Heck Bob, many of us Expats get inspiration from you. That includes your happiness shown in the Philippines, the business and you just being here so long. There will be something wrong with where ever is the choice to live, its just where you want or need to be that counts. You will gain some things and you will loose some things at either place. If you go, the thing is that you can always come back to the Philippines.

    • Thanks, George. Everything you say is completely true, no doubt. Sometimes it is just time for a life change, know what I mean? But, i think we have found a good balanced way of handling it. Thanks!

      • Hi Bob

        I have lived and been based out of the Philippines since since 1992 when we built our house. I have never really thought of moving back home permanently, my daughters from my previous marriage has been here on visits and we visit my family back in Ireland every so often. Moving back I don’t think will ever happen, too happy here.

        I think a lot of people will miss you if you ever decide to go, so hopefully you will stay.

        Just my penny’s worth.
        Regards
        Jack

        • Hi Jac, – Nice to hear from you!

          Yeah, I feel much the same, but also kind of looking for some change. I do know that I enjoy life here, though. I think our hybrid plan is going to satisfy my urges. I hope so!

  11. Bob:
    While reading your article I had a light bulb moment when you mentioned shopping and sending a Balikbayan Box back to the Philippines. I have a daughter in Atlantic Beach Florida. She is a member of my NFCU (Navy Federal) so I can pit cash in her account on line and send a list. by e-mail. Now to figure out what I need that I can’t find here. I’ll rule out perishables. (LOL)
    My grandson lives there and I’ve not seen him in three years, so that is a valid reason for Mayang and I to go there, as I’ve said,raveling for that long for me is not recommended. So I will send the money for them to fly here and that way everybody may see the three of them, vice just Mayang and me. For me that is the best solution.
    I discarded my “Rose Colored Glasses” years ago after they were scratched beyond use the first few years by reality, those who only come here on vacation still have a working pair, It is still a wonderful location to live, but perfection doesn’t exist .on earth.
    Like you Bob. I can come up with no compelling reason to return to the US, That is still my Country, but right here is my home.

    • Hi Paul, I almost missed your comment, glad I noticed it.

      You are so right about perfection. I do have some desire to go back there, but I also love it here, a LOT. It is kind of a tough position, but I think/hope we found a good solution.

  12. I went back to the U S 3 years ago and you can have it ..Prices are ridiculous and to say the least expensive for anything. try renting house…that will blow your mind… ( If you have $250,000 to $400,000 you can buy a house)… then put Cable Internet and TV…add electricity water and………….. garbage pick-up $50.00 or more…. think its cheap there ??? It might be less in Missouri Ha ..Cops pulling over people for no tail light (1) and giving them a $100.00 ticket and they are like ants everywhere looking to pounce on you…B/S…Sure its nice and clean and modern… but modernization has ruined a lot of the the people especially the woman…What a difference between the woman there ( with there jobs and making money ) and the woman here……. woman here are so naturally soft.. simple and beautiful and devoting and when they work they help the family they dont drive a car have money to burn… expensive clothes etc……….Don’t forget Bob and you reading this…How many times we have said living here was like when grandma was alive…Sure i don’t get the Prime Rib or the Porterhouses here…But i eat good… And I get a way better life of comfort and people with respect …..It amazed me when I first arrived here and saw how living here was and looking back across the pond and saw what i never saw before and how living here was compared ….(Remember the words Rat Race )…..Tranquilty here at it’s best….Of course one has to have Money to live here or a good job like Bob here…… other wise your stuck untill retirement.. i would never consider going back but if affordable a Visit is the way to go… This is my opinion and have seen and done it all thru the years It does take a different kind of MAN…to be able to adjust to the lifestyle here…I am one of those …

  13. I definitely have to say that moving back to the US is something I hope I never have to do. Granted, I’ve only lived here for 3 yrs, so I’m still a newbie. I’ve HAD to go back twice for banking business, but I made both visits very short! 10 days the first time, 4 days the 2nd. My sons and sister were a bit ticked off because I didn’t stay longer, but that’s not my home anymore! And of course they can’t understand that. This place was HOME and it FELT like home, literally the moment I got off the plane 3 yrs ago? No regrets whatsoever????

  15. Hello Bob, long time reader. My wife is from Davao City. Here Aunt is married to ” Uncle Chuck “. On my 2nd trip to DC now married with 2 kids. I met Chuck ( 2016 ) had a beautiful house in South Pacific golf community told me he’d never go back to the US. Lived in Davao atleast 10 years ( was there when I 1st went, but didn’t meet then ). He’s in Missouri now my wife asked her Aunt what happened and was told didn’t like the president ( wife loves him ) and laws are getting worse.

    • I have no problem with the politics here. I really don’t get involved in it, or discuss it. It just is not an issue to me.

      Thanks for being a long time reader, Brian! Nice to have you aboard!

  16. Greetings Bob. Now you mention that you have not been back to the USA for 18+ years I understand why you might consider a move back to your homeland. Even more so that your wife and at least one of your sons is going back to the states to work because it is easier for them to find a decent paying job in Alaska than in Davao.

    I’ve been living in the Philippines for the past 27 years but we have always returned to the UK at least once a year. Even though we only stay there for between three and eight weeks that is enough for me to catch up with friends and family and sample all the food and services that I miss out on by living in Davao.

    I’m guessing that if you can go back to the USA for a couple of months each year that will be enough for you to realise that you probably live a pretty comfortable life here and have lost little by making the Philippines your base.

    Your greatest problem is going to be employment opportunities for your wife and kids. Without professional qualifications and the all important personal contacts it is difficult to earn a decent salary in the Philippines.

    • Hi Malcolm, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Feyma and I have 3 kids. So far two of them have already chosen to live in the United States. That is no problem, all of our kids are adults now, and they can choose where they want to live. No issues there.

      Feyma and I are more or less self-employed, so looking for work is not an issue either. Feyma is working in Alaska right now, yes, but that is s temporary thing, and she is welcome to work that as long as she wants

      If I were to go back to the States, which I di, for vacations, I would not stay more than 35 days per year. Under US tax laws, if I am out of the country for at least 330 days per year the tax benefits are huge. So, that is what I would need to do.

      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

  17. Hi
    Bob
    My wife and I are planning to move there when I retire in a few years and had decided we would have to make a trip back at least every year to ship supplies to ourselves so it the same thinking. As far as family not close enough to communicate now so that is not a concern. Our 14 year old son wants to move there.

  18. Bob,
    Sure hope you don’t leave the Philippines for good, I’ve learned so much through you! I haven’t made my move yet and I’m sure I have more to learn.
    Have you ever thought about “snow birding”? That’s what a lot of Alaskans do when they retire: spend the summer here and then winter somewhere warm. That’s what I would love to do, but I think it takes more money to do so. Maybe leaving a motor home here would work for us.
    Anyway, hope you find peace with your choices…. Marty

    • Hi Marty – Thanks for your kind words.

      No, I would have no interest in snowbirding, although I know many like that. I prefer stability, staying in one place. But,t he solution I outlinedin the article where we would just travel more, I think, would work great for us, and that is our intention.. to give that a try.

  19. You have not mentioned about health insurance, medical and dental benefits, and old-age long term insurance(I know you are still young to think about this). I like your solution. It was almost the same idea when Macrine and I were doing the snowbird lifestyle prior to her PD diagnosis.

    • Hi David. Nice to hear from you, it’s been a long time! I did not mention about health and such because it really was not part of the decision in our case. I am comfortable with getting healthcare in either country.

      Yep, I think that our hybrid solution is best for us!

  20. I like your hybrid solution because if I want a piece of pecan pie but also like apple pie then I have some of each at different times. You will be having the best of both your worlds and good luck to you both as you deserve it.

  21. I’m wanting to move to Philippines, have an acreage that’s for sale in central Iowa, my wife lives in Olongopo City. Have 5 acres with older house, decent condition, 2 1/2 miles from town, yes, changing seasons here, but it’s not that bad! I like the Philippines, want to move within the next year

    • Hi Craig – Good for you! I hope it all works out great. I have nothing bad to say about the Philippines. I have had a great life here. Just ready to a change in scenery and some new experiences. I hope you have the same great experience here that I did!

  22. Bob, you better look into your citzenship here in the USA, I believe you have to re-enter this country every 6 years, or you lose citizenship. Better check that out too

    • Sorry, but you are incorrect. There is no re-entry time. If you are a citizen you are a citizen for life unless you renounce. I have a brand new US passport.. the very fact that they gave me a renewal confirms my citizenship.