There I was the last Friday wandering through The Royal store on Subic Freeport. My Wife and her sister have their list and are zipping up and down the aisles. I have a little cart and was put in charge of getting Kano stuff. Things like Jimmy Dean Sausage links, frozen Waffles, Frozen Buffalo Wings, fresh milk, you know, the stuff we like. Back in the meat section they have a deli with a great selection of cold cuts and cheeses, bake a loaf of bread, make a Dagwood sandwich, and pop a cold San Miguel then life begins anew.
I wandered over to the toy section, as there is always a birthday for one of my nieces or nephews in the near future. While there I spied a remote controlled speed boat, for about $11.00. I thought to myself, could things like that really that inexpensive, or are they just really cheap. In the cart it went, for I remembered I owned a fish pond and if the boat works, this could be fun. I’m turning 63 in July and still like fun.
At the checkout I don’t get a second look from my dear wife, as she discovered in the early years of our marriage that her husband was a tad odd. It was the checkout girl who asked me, “Do I have a son or grandson, that I was getting the boat for?” I explained that it was for me, and she asked why I didn’t buy a real boat. I smiled and told her that after sailing the oceans of the world for 30 plus years that I had no desire to go back out there again.
I get home and helped the ladies tote in all the packages, and later I sat and assembled my new toy. Well I did put the batteries in and installed the antenna on the remote control unit. (article continues below pictures)
In the water it went, it runs like a top, and was easy to control, didn’t think it all the way through though, I forgot about the many colorful carp my wife has in her pond. And I found that they will chase the boat, and I can’t back it down in fear of hurting the fish, so I crashed a lot, not because I couldn’t control it, but because of concern for the fish. I’m just wondering if I should have gotten the remote helicopter I was looking at?
It got me to thinking about when I was a child spending the summers at our house on Cape Cod, my brothers and I had a fleet of Tonka construction trucks that would keep us busy for hours at a time, and “No Batteries Required’, I’ll assume that is the reason, a simple remote control boat fascinates me now, it’s new to me, and I don’t have to share it with my brothers, But I know my granddaughter will let me share it with her. Okay, I’m done, shut off the computer and lets go out and have some fun, I know I’m going too! Can you hear the pop and fizz, of me opening the first SMB of the day, man the helm and let’s get this day underway.
I thought this article was finished yesterday morning, nay not so. My 9 Y/O niece, Shay-Shay came by (The one in the pictures of our mini-vacation last week) she is sweet and a pleasure to be around, and wanted to use my new boat. She was quite good with it and played with it about an hour. I went inside to get a cool one, and when I returned the boat was sunk, stern first. She was crying and saying “I’m sorry Tito Paul”, I had to think fast, so I started smiling and joking about the sunken boat to show I really didn’t care about it. I knew how it happened; boats do poorly in reverse, and will take water over the transom at high speed. How would she know about that? So I put my arm around her and said; “Sweetheart I can fix that, no problem.”
We both took it apart and drained the water, then I explained we should let it dry overnight, and tomorrow it will be fine. This information seemed to cheer her up, and now I had enough time to get to the store and replace it, as I know the boat had bought the farm.
When I was 15, I sank my father’s 1947, 20 foot Century runabout, which was made of teak and mahogany. I made it back to the marina and it sunk while waiting for the hoist to lift it out of the water. My dad never got mad, but he did get even, as the rest of the summer I had a boat to clean and sand after he repaired the damage. I complained not a wit. So an $11.00 toy boat will not affect the scales of life one tiny bit.
The rest of the story! Late breaking report.
The good news, the boat dried out and worked fine the next day.
The bad news, one of the fish passed away due to boating injuries.
The final news: Mrs. Thompson no longer allows boats in the pond!
Paul: My grandfather had an old Chris Craft Flying Bridge. One day my uncle took it out with his friends, neglecting to check the fuel tank. When they ran out of fuel several miles offshore, they also realized that the radio was broken and there were no flares. So, they decided to start a signal fire: Problem was that the Chris Craft had a wooden deck. Oops!
This happened before I was born, but I understand that my Grandfather really sizzled after the after the Coast Guard towed them home!
John;
I’m easy going because of my father, who taught me to only sweat the big stuff. Mine was an accident, setting the boat on fire, not so much, and I bet some beer was involved???
Paul
I like the “official” observation deck that you are perched on as you run the vessel.
It looks like you got a new puppy in the picture.
Hi Neal;
The septic tank had to go somewhere. As a matter of fact there were 10 new puppies, I’ll tell you about it next week.
Better watch out Admiral Paul….kill to many of those gold whales and the next thing you know the 1/18th scale plastic Sea Shepard eco-terrorist boat will be plying those waters ramming your boat to protect those guppies.
PS: You need an Admirals hat to go with the ambiance!
You are the envy of all of us kids in the neighborhood! 😉
Brian;
That explains why Green Peace was protesting at my gate. I was in a Green Peace store in San Francisco and they were selling T-Shirts for $30.00, made in a sweat shop in Central America, by some kid getting two dollars a day. Whales they care about, not so much people.
P.S.: I still have my Senior Chief Hat, will that do? [lol]
Paul;
Let em eat cake!
Dont feel bad paul when I was working search and rescue in the coast guard we was on a 41 patrol boat, and a sail boat was flipped over in the saint johns river, so we attached a line to it and attemted to flip it over, the problem was we was in 18 foot of water with a 20 ft mass, it sank pretty fast, and there was no retreiving it, so I guess you had better luck then our crew.
James;
Where was your crew when I needed you? Are you home now, enjoying your new house and yard?
Hi Paul, I knew there was a reason i liked you. That’s too bad the boss took away all the fun. What a way to cull the heard, you could tell the boss your only doing crowd control.
Thanks for your stories that always put a smile on my face. Scott
Scott;
Now that’s a good idea, let’s see if it will fly with the wife? I really think I should have got the helicopter.
Hi Paul, this is off the subject, but you have always been kind to answer my questions. Are there P.O. Boxes in the Philippines? I will need 1 before i buy my house & also for bank account & driver’s lic. Ect. Thanks scott
Scott;
Yes, if you’re retired military and a member of the RAO. If not contact Bob, as I think he has a mail forwarding service he is happy with. That should solve any mail problems for you.
Hi Scott – There are two bits of information I’d like to offer for you.
1. Yes, there are P.O. Boxes in the Philippines. The Philippine Post office has P.O. Boxes available at every Post Office Branch.
2. If you are looking for forwarding items from the USA, I have been using a company called Access USA for that. I have a mailbox at their location in Florida. I can have mail and/or merchandise sent to my box there in Florida, and then they forward my stuff to me on a regular basis, through DHL.
Thank you, Sir Bob!!!
Happy to help, Paul! I’ll send you a bill, don’t worry…. 😉
Hi Bob, Hi Paul, Thanks for that imfo., Sorry about the redundant messages, sometimes old- timers kicks in & i can help myself. Thanks Scott
ahhh good times ………… good times
Yes, Rich, may they never stop!!!
Remember Paul not to many SMB when you put the boat back in the water,you can get a
DUI on the high seas.
Wayne;
I’m confused??? There is such a thing as too many SMB’s, that is new to me. Now that I know, I’ll heed your advice [lol]
Paul,
The minute I realized that you were not wearing a commodore’s cap, I knew that you were not the ultimate authority on that body of water! That the true authority has suspended/restricted boating operations in the area must be due to environmental concerns. Then again, if you had filed the correct forms with the port authority, prior to initiating marine operations, you probably wouldn’t have been given the go-ahead. That you have chosen to operate in a manner considered by the port authority(aka Mrs. Thompson) to be reckless, shows a blatent disregard for the rules of seamanship in the environmentally-sensitive waters under the responsibility of this same authority.
It is, therefore, the decision of the Subic Bay Non-Tidal Waters Authority, that charges not be brought against the individual tasked with piloting this vessel at the time of the marine incident in question, rather, that charges be directed to you, the owner of said vessel, whom authorized such activities.
Mike2(on behalf of Mrs. Thompson, Director, SBNTWA)
Mike;
I filed an appeal with the governing body (SBNTWA) and it was summarily declined. But permission was granted to take the boat to the canal on Subic Freeport and cause havoc there. As my friend owns a place across the street, cold beer will be available, albeit at a price.
Hence forth all nautical operations within the fish pond are have ceased. When Mrs. Thompson speaks…I’ve learned to listen. I just might live to my next birthday.
BTW Mike, your comment broke me up!!!!
Hi Paul,
Your story reminds me of another one. My first wife’s cousin owned a 60 ft commercial fishing boat in Oregon. One day while fishing with the net out the stern, the boat was being pulled backwards at a good rate of speed. Before the crew could cut the net loose, the boat was being pulled under, and it sunk. I’m sure there is not a whale that can pull down a 60 ft boat. It was probably an SSN from Bangor, WA. Of course when he asked the Navy if there was any subs in the area, the answer was of course no comment
Hey paul,
Here’s another one…
In 1997, the crew of a Japanese fishing boat was pulled from the Sea of Japan after clinging to the boat’s wreckage for several hours. They were immediately arrested, however, after authorities interrogated them about the boat’s fate. To a man, they claimed a cow had fallen from the sky, apparently coming from nowhere, and struck the boat amidships, resulting in a huge hole and its rapid sinking.
The crew remained in prison for several weeks until Japanese authorities were contacted by several highly embarrassed Russian air force officials. It turned out that the crew of a Russian cargo plane had stolen a cow that wandered near their Siberian airfield and forced it onto their plane before they took off for a flight home. Once airborne, the cow apparently panicked and starting rampaging through the cargo hold, causing the crew also to panic because it was affecting the plane’s stability. They solved the problem by shoving the cow out of the hold while crossing the Sea of Japan at 30,000 feet.
Hudson;
The French Riviera 1966, young Seaman Thompson is duty Coxswain on 50 footer Liberty Launch making, a noontime run, from the ship to the pier inside a Yacht Club in Villa France. Young Ensign (Name omitted to protect the very dumb) decides he wanted to be boat officer. He stood beside me, issuing stupid commands and screaming at me when I didn’t follow through with them. This was my 50th or 60th time to make that pier. The Chief told me to follow the Ensign’s orders to the letter. I did and took the rudder off a 70 foot Sailing Yacht. The Chief informed the Captain that Seaman Thompson did exactly as he was told, and the Ensign was at fault. The Navy paid the damages and I made another 100 or so run’s without an incident.
Hudson!
LMAO!
Nice to know Paul im not the only one who sunk a boat. I sank my fathers 30 foot mako when I was 13 . Forgot to put the pulg in and I to had a boat to clean all summer also learned alot about rebuilding Johnson 225 outboards as it had two and had to help my father rebuild them he is still sore about me sinkin his boat. The guys with the crane service thought it was funny though .
Jason;
Ahh the famous stern mounted drain plugs. You’re not the first to do that, my brother did it with another boat my dad had, but we caught it just before it was off the trailer. My sinking was an inboard, so we just had the engine lifted out and rebuilt. He could do anything with wood, engines not at all.
Tommo.
I thought your soeciality was sinking the contents of brown bottles not toy boats.
That should read speciality
Frank;
I’ve discovered that both operations may be accomplished in tandem.
Senior;
Loved your story to bad the admiral relieved you of your command due to a causilty that wasn’t your fault. Hey try and find a remote submarine so you can play U-Boat and chase the little fishes without being seen. :0
Hi Bruce;
Since we were both in ratings that were not on Subs, we had better stick to Submarine Race Watching at the beach. [lol]. I’m in enough trouble with things that sink.
{I get my boat in the water, when she goes to the market.]
Ahoy Paul –
Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. By the way did the stern plug trick myself a few times but always managed to catch it before it got too wet, lol
Thanks for the entertaining tale of the ‘low’ seas.
😛
Mark G.
Mark;
Of course you’re welcome! Sinking your boat while launching, well, I just could not fathom anything more embarrassing. The end of the day, a few cold ones, you sink the boat, acceptable! (Like how I slipped in the word “Fathom”?
The inner-kid in us, submerged by time, emerges outta the water. There it is, a boat.
Makes me wonder… what if someone hooked two small fishing poles on the side of a more durable R/C boat? Then somehow had two motors able to reel the line and catch small fish. That’ be cool.
Jon;
You’re never too old to think young, as you’ll find out as you travel life’s road. If you ever lose that inner-kid, you’ve lost the game.
If I tried to catch my wife’s fish, my inner-kid would be looking for a new place to stay.[lol]
jawz- I doubt that Paul’s carp would share your enthusiasm for the fishing line gig !! lol
Ian;
Add in my wife’s lack of enthusiasm, and I’ll second your comment!!!!