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18 long years, with absolutely no internet, the semi experts at all the big “3” Cell Phone and computer service stores telling me I was just doomed to spend my life off line, which in fact might have made the online Philippines a better place without me there to post dumb stuff.
Then at a party at our house for some reason or another, A friend of our daughter asked about my internet here on the mountain in Bataan. I set my rum and coke on the table, moved my hands up to my head, grasped both sides with my hands, and slowly started shaking my head, back and forth. Interwebby??? Na Lang, Wala, zip, or ain’t no such thing! I said.
The young man who was in his 20’s, asked if I had a cell phone, which at the time was a new Nokia but then 90% of the Philippines had a Nokia phone. (Whatever happened to the Nokia brand?) He took the wire off the charger, plugged the USB portion into my “Puter” and the other end into my phone then using the Puter he preformed some magic incantations and voodoo chants over my keyboard when to my amazement Internet Explorer appeared on my monitor. Praise the Lord!!!
“Paul” was online, oh yes it was slow but still I was online after 10 years of crying out into the wildness! Did it matter that the Nokia had to dangle out the window even on rainy days? Not a whit. Next, after a few years of pestering the big three computer experts at Globe, Smart and Sun I was informed that I lived in a “Dead Internet Signal Zone” or what they called a black hole where the internet signal was swallowed and transported to an alternate universe.
Then while on Lip one morning Mindanao Bob, throws out a new word, to my ears. The word was “DONGAL” a small electronic unit that you dangled out the window instead of your phone. Why was this the first time I’d heard of this, why had not the “Big Three” mentioned this to me? Better yet, why didn’t Bob or a faithful lip reader mention this to me they all knew of my dangling phone dilemma? But with this new found knowledge I went Ditty Na to Globe and purchased one (Dongle) and connected to the World Wide Webby” Much better than the dangling a phone but still not the best. Anyway dangling my dongle had a much funnier ring to it and less chance of water damage to my phone, it had already happened once.
Then came the “Bad Times” March of 2017, one month of the worst internet troubles since the first Nokia phone was dangled out the window. I had to send Bob my articles catch as catch can, whenever I found a signal. Even Facebook was on a sabbatical.
Then my niece Shay, who was born the year our house was built, (18 years ago), was visiting with a few of her classmates. They were using my dongle to connect their phones to the internet, (Poorly at best) when a young man asked me why I used a dongle instead of a router. I stared wondering what the hell he was talking about.
It seems that Globe produces and sells for P 2,000.00 this router thingy that is 1,000,000,000 times more powerful than a dongle and can stay on the desk without dangling out the window in the rain. Dear lord, why didn’t The Big Three, Mindanao Bob or anyone else for that matter tell me about it, instead of leaving my arse dangling out the window???
Anyway, to make a short story long, (I am of Irish decent and we all do that) I now as of June 2017 have a new router, I have steady internet and the New Millennium has finely reached my house. I can only wonder what will go wrong next week!
Two weeks in, I wake up and the whole system is Kaput, shut down, failing to function. But I knew that would happen, as my name is “Paul” and that was in the cards. My “Puter” guy lives ten minutes away, if he can work his magic, this will be posted on Monday to LiP, but know one thing: I never threw the Dangling Dongle away!!!