Well, I am writing today about the lady we have here in the house. She’s really our laundry lady. She’s been with us for 4 months now. She was brought here by our previous laundry lady who also we were happy to have but had to go home to her province because of family problems. The new one, her name is Pat. She’s really a nice lady. When she came for the job, our old laundry lady told me that Pat was beaten up a few days before by her hubby and that she will report in a few days because she still had the black and blue mark from the beating. My first reaction when they told me did she report the husband to the police? Pat and the old laundry lady told me that they did and the guy was put to jail for a few days. I was asking Pat what’s the job of her dear husband at that time when she first came to the house? She told me none (standby for Filipino term). The old laundry lady said that I think the reason for his being violent was because he was aggravated that he had no job. Well my answer to them was for him to find a job then. He has family to support, the time that he is pouting if he look for a job I bet you money he can find even to be janitor he has to do it. He had 2 kids to support and his wife. I told Pat, before I will hire you to tell your husband not to come to the house.
Pat and her hubby have 2 kids together. Ages 7 and 4 years old. She had 1 kid out of wedlock before she married the guy now. The kid is 14 years old her name is Jane, who is living with the grandparents. So Pat didn’t really spend time with Jane when she was young because Pat was working somewhere in Manila after the birth. A few years after working in Manila she came back here and started to bond with Jane but it’s too late Jane didn’t know Pat that much and she bonded well with her grandparents and aunts.
So Pat just let the grandparents raise Jane continuously. Once in a while Pat would have Jane at her house since Jane had another siblings now. Sometimes Pat would discipline Jane because she would not study hard in school and go places with her boyfriend even its school day. Her grades are really low some subjects she failed. So Pat tried to scold Jane about her school grades, I guess the grandparents would get mad and even sometimes slap Pat because they think she just had no right for Jane.
Instead of disciplining Jane they will discipline Pat. Like sometimes the grandparents would complain to Pat that Jane would not listen to them, then Pat would tell them that because you guys didn’t discipline her and she thinks she can do anything. They will get mad at Pat, they even let Jane hear sometimes that they argue against Pat.
Sometimes Pat would cry when she’s telling me about the situations at her house. I told her that she should discipline Jane because its her daughter and her parents will not be here forever to be with Jane. That she should discipline Jane before its too late. I told her that its not the grandparents that Jane will blame later if her life is in a mess, that it would be Pat being she’s the mom.
She agreed with me, but typical daughter just a bit scared to say something to the parents. Scared of being the disobedient daughter. I told her you already the disobedient daughter, you didn’t follow your parents when they asked you not to be pregnant at the young age. Sometimes its hard to advice someone when you know they are not equipped with good knowledge instead with fear.
She brought Jane at the house one day for me to talked to Jane. I was nice to Jane and just asked her what does she wants in life. Jane answered me that she wants to have good life and better life than her mom. I told her if you want to be different and be successful you have to work hard for it. Its not just a hand off. You have to sweat it to earn it. I told her how could you earn if you just going around with your boyfriend? I told her you will end up pregnant at a young age and really you will end up being the laundry lady or the maid someday if your not being careful.
I am really hoping that she will listen. I said that its okay to have boyfriend and be inspired but you also have to do a lot of sacrifices. Work hard on your studies and try to help out your family during weekends. Me and my nieces told Jane the life we had in the farm before, its not an easy life. That really drives us to be successful. I hope she listened to us. I asked Jane if she like and wants the job of her mom being laundry lady? She told me NO. I said I’m sure your mom didn’t want to be the laundry lady but because she didn’t finish school and had the baby at an early age that’s why she end up to be maid or laundry lady.
Like now Jane sometimes comes to our house to help her mom and also for her to eat good food, they’re eating but not totally good food. Jane, she’s really thin for her age. She’s way smaller and thinner than our daughter Jean Jean, who is several years younger than Jane.
Luckily the husband found a job now. He is working with some contractor in fixing lights in the city. Not sure what lights though. I just didn’t asked that much about that anymore. Honestly I want that Pat will have pretty descent life. But she has to work hard though. I hope the husband will continue to help Pat on that quest.
Cheers!
Wonderful and very touching, Feyma.
We all want those who are close to us (katulangs, labanderas, etc., too) to be successful and have a nice life. Emy & I try to encourage success among our helpers, relatives and friends. We tell them that they might not be as successful as we are, but then again, they might be more successful.
It is up to them. What they need to do is be successul first, then worry about "how high" the success they will achieve.
What a sad story. Thank you for sharing it Feyma. Sometimes we aren't aware of the problems facing those around us. The fact that you take an active interest in the problems faced by the people who work for you shows that you are a kind hearted person, Feyma. Sometimes advice from strangers can be more effective than parents. I hope your words of wisdom left a lasting impression on Jane.
Hi David S – Thank you for your kind words. In all honesty I really hope that Jane will listened to me. I just hope really for a better life for her and hope she can see the hard life of the rest of her family.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your good thoughts.
Take care!
Kamusta ka Feyma,
Feyma, it sounds like to me, you have given her the best advice you could have given. So only time will tell now, and hopefully, the young lady will strive and work hard for that better life.
Amping, salamat,
Danny 🙂
Hi Danny – Can’t agree you more. Yeah I do hope she’ll listened. 😉
I am hoping Jane will finish up even just high school. She will work later part time and study college during weekend. Hoping though…
Thanks for the good thought Danny.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Take care!
Hi Feyma,
A nice story that we always hear about people in Philippines. I hope your advice will lights up their mind and hearts and to lead them in better life and to have a good family relationship. SACRIFIES is the key of SUCCESS!!!
ALL THE BEST
Lyn
Hi Armalyn – That’s exactly what I told Jane.
“SACRIFICES is the key to SUCCESS!!!”…
I hope and pray that she will really reevaluate herself and know what she wants in life. To be successful study hard or to be just the way the life her mom was leading. I am not putting down her mom, just making a point to Jane though.
Thank you so much for your advice. Highly appreciated.
Good to see you here. Take care and God bless!
hi bob.my name is geoffrey from australia .moving to the philipines next year december 2010.the advice you gave your laundry ladies daughter was very good bob .the young lady needs to work hard and ditch her boy friend.needs to nuckle down and find work. no good if your pregnant at her age.your a good employer to advice the young lady.i found your web page from a friend in manila. yours sincerly geoffrey fletcher
Hi geoffrey fletcher – Thank you for your comment and advice.
Thank you so much for stopping by here!
Hi geoffrey – Thanks for your kind words, it's nice to meet you. Just to clarify, though… this is not my article, it was written by my wife, Feyma.
Hi Paul – Yes we have to encourage them. Hopefully they will be one of the successful people here in Davao or the Philippines. It's up to them to strive hard though. We will try our very best to push them on that.
Honestly I will be happy seeing them make name for themselves.
Good to see you here and thank you for the good advice.
Take care!
We tried using a helper and they did not work out. So we decided that we had rather do our own housework. My wife enjoys doing the cooking and cleaning and I help some. We might hire another if we had kids. We have lived in the states for years and have retired and moved back here once again. We are use to our privacy so we will do our own housework for now. Think if you checked out the lady’s husband who beat her its probably alcohol related. Probably too much redhorse or rum. That is sad indeed for a husband not to take care of his family. Cannot imagine someone like that although there are plenty of them in the U.S. Of course someday they will get their due justice. Know they are blinded by a evil force. How could anyone not take care of their kids is be on my imagination. Hope you have a wonderful evening and “MAY GOD BLESS!”
Hi BOB G – Good thinking there. Yeah, if not for the kids we would not need extra person here at the house.
We are happy to help our laundry lady but she also has to help herself though. With Jane I am happy to give her advice but its up to her, I can’t force her to follow what I say.
It’s really hard seeing someone be beat up by the husband. I know the feeling because my sister used to be beat up by her hubby. I think my brother-in-law learned his lesson when his own children beat him up almost to death. It’s really hard for my parents seeing my sister going through that.
Thank you for you comment and nice seeing you here!
Take care!