If you are from a country like the USA, England, Australia or just about any developed country, you are probably used to knowing people of many different races. Some countries in particular are known as melting pots that experience large scale immigration over many years. Certainly the USA is probably the world leader in this category, but many others are of a similar nature. Certainly Australia is another one that immediately comes to mind. European countries are too, to a lesser extent.
But, if you are from a developing country, there is not a huge amount of immigration. Usually, developing countries experience much more emigration than immigration. More people are moving out, leaving the country than the number of outsiders moving in. Why is this? Well, it’s really quite simple – developing countries usually have a lack of employment opportunity, an infrastructure that is still in the development stages and such. People naturally want to go where things are better. People are generally looking for where there is already established opportunity, and where the “stuff” works. In developing countries a lot of stuff is still in the “experimental” stage and in need of further development.
Because of this natural course of immigration and emigration, the natural flow of people is moving to the developing world to the developed world, at least on average. Of course, not everybody makes such a move, if they all did then there would be nobody left in the developing world! For example, in the Philippines where I live, there are about 11 Million Filipinos living and working abroad. That is a big chunk of the roughly 100 Million population of the country.
Now, the people who are the natural audience of this website are expats – generally that means that they are people from the developed world who move to other countries. Many expats, perhaps most, move to developing countries. We are sort of the opposite of the trend. Because the number of people moving from developed countries to developing countries is very small, we tend to stick out like a sore thumb in the countries where we relocate. Many of the world’s developing countries are comprised nearly exclusively of racial minorities. So, for example, where I live in the Philippines, there is a very small percentage of white people like me, or black people either. The people here, naturally, are Filipinos. Because of this, it is very easy to spot a “foreigner’ if you are Filipino. If you see somebody of another race, well, it is a foreigner.
Over the years, I have often considered getting Philippine citizenship. If I were to do that, technically, I would no longer be a foreigner, I would be a Filipino. Of course, ethnically I would not be of the Filipino race, but by citizenship I would no longer be a foreigner. However, if I were to become a citizen, if I were walking down the street, do you think most people who saw me would think “oh, there is a Filipino man”? No, of course not, no matter if I were a citizen or not, people who saw me from afar would not know, and would automatically say that I was a foreigner. It is only natural.
So, as an expat, can we ever fully integrate into society? I mean, in most countries, we expats are only a very small percentage of the population, and we are easily identifiable as outsiders. Of course, as we develop groups of close friends (local or foreign), we are fully accepted and taken in by those that we are close with. However, for the man on the street, we are simply outsiders, regardless of how “local” we have become over our years of living in whatever country we choose. So, while we may have a small group of people who consider us to be only who we are, the vast majority look at us as outsiders.
In my case, I have become very Filipino in many of my ways of thinking and doing things. I have really integrated into the culture a lot. I speak the language, and use it when I am out in public. But, I still struggle with the thought of being looked at as an outsider. When I see people on the street, I often wonder what they think of me. When I get in a taxi, I know that if it is a taxi driver who has not encountered me before, he likely thinks that I am a tourist, and for a taxi driver, a tourist is an easy target to take advantage of.
No matter how long we live in the country of our choice, no matter how much we integrate into that culture, can we ever be thought of as a local, or are we always outsiders?
What do you think?
I see myself as adjusted, but not 100% at home in either the States or the Philippines. I was comfortable in the Philippines and felt I had adapted to life there (I miss it). But there were always things that reminded me I grew up somewhere else. We’re doing OK here in the States but I still don’t feel 100% at home because I spent 11 years there in the Philippines.
Hi Kevin – That makes sense, and I understand it. I think that once we have lived long term outside our country of birth, we will always be somewhere in the middle. Not a perfect fit in our own country anymore, and not completely perfect in any other country.
Over my 16+ years in the Philippines, I have never felt homesick – until recently. With my son making a long term visit to the USA right now, I have had some home sickness now. Hearing his stories of the things he is doing, places he has gone, etc, it has made me wish a few times that I was there.
I feel that I have completely adjusted here, but I also feel that if I went back, it would probably leave me wondering what direction to go.
Interesting comment, Kevin, thanks for sharing!
American living Philippino style 4 16 yrs and loving it ! Mwahh lol (T-shirt in local language ) do it Bob have some fun thx me later lol
Hi Michael – Not sure I understand? I didn’t think you had been living in the Philippines yet. Maybe I misunderstood?
T shirt saying, living Philippino style for 16 yrs and loving it !
I’m increasingly tempted to get and wear a tshirt printed:
“Need katulong/yaha”
“\Apply here!”
Other appropriate thoughts come to mind, but we don’t go there.
Hmm… OK.
Tropical orange t shirt bold black letters , they see you coming a miles away haha U r no more a tourist
No need for a t-shirt to let people know you are not a tourist, just speak to them in the local language and they know instantly. 🙂
i know bob , just a fun crazy idea
Bob asked us all “No matter how long we live in the country of our choice, no matter how much we integrate into that culture, can we ever be thought of as a local, or are we always outsiders? What do you think?”
Bob, best honest answer is “it depends”.
When people know who and what an individual really is, that’d it, period.
I had the need to walk to get whatever small cash I could for the wife the other day, being drained by her of even coins to pay for a tricycle ride. Hot mid-day walking to downtown. On the way I passed and was hailed by my mechanic friend. We had a good chat, and our respective birthplaces were never an item or discussion point; we and everyone around passed that nonsense years ago.
Hi Ed – My question was geared more toward being out among the general public, people who don’t know you, not really people that already know about you. But, no problem.
Hope you are enjoying life in Kidapawan.
Yep… mine is also a lot of fun!
getting their reaction i’m sure is fun
I enjoy just fitting in with the locals, being part of the crowd. It makes life enjoyable for me.
4 sure
No matter how long we’ve been here, no matter citizenship, when we walk the streets we will forever be foreigners.
People we don’t talk to, people that don’t know us: Foreigner (or the fun expression…. Alien).
The best to do is a Bob mention (many times) to learn the language, at least when we start communicate, people look at us different.
In the local community we can participate in events and daily talks at the sari store, we can talk with neighbors, but – we are still foreigners.
It will never change.
Hi Axel, I agree completely. Learning the language is crucial in my opinion. I know it changed my life.
I am sure most of us know it from our “homeland”, when we meet foreigners – if they can’t speak the language, we will not see them as “local” – we will even say “If you want to live here – learn the language”.
If people won’t adapt to the local culture and traditions, we won’t really accept them as equals.
So – that’s what we have to do, even it may take a long time 🙂
That said: We can surely affect Filipinos way of doing things and thinking, by showing different ways to do things. As a role model, not as a impatient, angry teacher.
You really hit the nail on the head, Axel. In fact, the reason that I decided to learn the language was because I got thinking about what we would tell people who were immigrants to the USA – “Learn the language”…. I figured why would my situation be any different!
It is strange the way they laugh and enjoy when I am shopping in the mall and I talk to then in the few words that I know. Their face lights up and they get excited and happy.
That is so true, Luke! The more you learn, the more you will get those kinds of experiences, and it really makes it fun to live here!
some foreigners get very stressed in philippines but you have to accept things as they are and mix. Its an asian country not europian
Yes indeed. In fact, I would take it even further and say that MOST foreigners that I encounter have a hard time handling the Philippines and the way things operate here.
The only problem I find with the Philippines that if your in a hurry or very organised it tests your patent. If you go with the flow then it helps. Many foreigners as you say find it hard to adjust but you have to look at the positives.
I personally have lived here for so long that I take it all in stride now. I am very comfortable with the way things work here, and have made personal adjustments so that it works for me! 🙂
Bob:
My cousin has lived in Japan for 45 years.
When I saw him last month, we were talking about being accepted anroad, and intercultural marriage. I told him that even though I like Japan (one of my favorite places in the world), I would have a hard time living there. He told me…
“I think you would do fine. You have no expectations of being accepted and fitting in. My mistake was that for years, I tried desperately to become Japanese. It took much pain and frustration for many years to realize that it will never happen”
Keep in mind that he is univeesity level fluent in Kapanese, and his life is 100% in Japan (his son speaks no English)
Something to consider….
Hi John,
Pretty interesting info.
I feel that I have gone about as far as I can go in fitting in to local society, learning the language, culture, etc. I am actually pretty comfortable at the place where I am now.
I have often thought over the years about becoming a citizen, but honestly, I don’t see a benefit. It would not make me Filipino in the eyes of most people, so in what way could I benefit. I think the place where I am now is pretty good and comfortable, so I will just keep on keepin’ on. 🙂
Hi Bob,
When I used to go back and forth from the US to the Philippines I worried and worked hard to assimilate when here. I learned the language, and also tried hard to study the traits and quirks of my relatives, neighbors and new friends to try to make myself the most comfortable and in turn feeling less of an outsider.
For people who didn’t know me, I made it a point to speak the dialect and tried to emulate and ” blend in” as much as I could.
Now that I’ve lived permanently for a while here in the Philippines, I’ve relaxed a lot more I think. I still speak the language and get along well with people, but I’ve grown to appreciate my “Americaness” and have grown more confident of who I am. I’m no longer thinking about assimilating, but just experiencing my unique place here as an American now living permanently in a place I love, in spite of it’s sometime frustrations and question marks.
I know now that if I was to go back to the States to live, I could never go back to the person I used to be. The thrill of my unique life and experiences here would be lost, and I’d be bored to death.
Queenie
Hi Queenie – How are you today? I hope you are well.
Everything you say makes a lot of sense to me. But, we are somewhat different, while also somewhat the same. I have changed the way I use the language. Before, I would speak Cebuano a lot more than I do now. I used to speak it whenever I was around anybody who spoke Cebuano. Now, I use English even if I am with Filipino friends, if they speak English well. If I am out around town and speak with strangers, I only speak Cebuano. When I am with a group of friends, I mostly speak just English, while my friends speak in a mix of Cebuano and English, which is fine for me.
I don’t feel much “Americaness” any longer…
Your last paragraph is same for me. If I went back to live in the States, it would be impossible for me to be the same person who left there 15 years ago, I am no longer that person.
I’m doing well Bob.
Similar to you, I speak Cebuano when in the city or out in public still. I enjoy that. With my few fellow expat friends, it’s always English of course. Many family members of mine don’t speak much English or are not comfortable speaking it, so I speak Cebuano with them.
My young and college educated nephews and friends love to speak English for fun so I enjoy that with them. That’s fun and relaxing for me. Getting much depth in the Cebuano language has been hard for me, so English bridges the gap. My husband and I speak English most of the time when alone together, but mostly a mixture of the two.
Also there is a unique sense of sometimes loneliness and apartness that I have had to learn to adapt to here living here as a caucasian expat woman married to a Filipino.
I’m not so readily accepted by many male expats, and some Filipinas and local men view me differently too. My role or place is always as clear.
I no longer feel the need to be more “Filipino” or “local” but am making a niche for myself that I’m comfortable with. Maybe it’s just confidence in general, and not “Americaness”
Isn’t always as clear I meant to say.
Hi Queenie – Nice. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction. Doing what is right for you. Nothing wrong with that. I hope that everything is going well for you! Come down to Davao for a visit! You will be surprised at how differently Cebuano is spoken here! 🙂
That would be fun Bob. The language mix might be confusing, but fun!
I have a textmate neighbor that moved to Manila who now texts me in Tagalog instead of Cebuano. Do you text and receive texts always in Cebuano or a mix of the two? That’s a whole other language to learn! 🙂
Hi Queenie – Most of the texting I do is with Feyma and our kids, and those are almost always English (I like the kids to use English to keep their English skills up).
With Expat friends – English of course.
With Filipino friends, only a few that I text with, it is usually Cebuano, although most Dabawenyos can’t really speak straight Cebuano, it is more a mix of Tagalog and Cebuano, which usually throws me for a loop! If I text in Cebuano, it is fun to text with my old Bisaya teacher, because she goes in straight Cebuano! 🙂
My thoughts and comments on the subject are still third-hand. I’ve observed MKs (missionary kids) coming back from overseas assignments for years. They always struggled with integrating back into the culture in the USA. My sister and her family have been permanently located in Mexico and get to experience some of the same. As I mentioned…I don’t have first-hand knowledge … yet.
I really appreciate the perspectives here because I plan to be the Alien…Foreigner and I really do wonder what it will be like after the newness of the idea wears off.
Hi Byron
Your comment brings up an interesting point
My son, Aaron is in the states right now. He is 18. After 15 years in the Philippines he adapted quickly to USA life. I expect it will be very difficult for him to adjust back to the Philippines after 7 months in the USA.
I am moving to the Philippines in January 2016 to join my fiance in Cebu city. I grew up in Pampanga (Clark AFB) as a boy and am familiar with the differences between the US and the Philippines. I will learn the language and try and fit in. I have no expectations of ever NOT being viewed as a kano by the majority of the locals. I expect to enjoy living there again and will not expect it to be America. In the US we view all Mexicans as Mexicans even when they integrate and become citizens. Why would it be different for a kano in the Phils….
I don’t know, Kerry… when I lived in the States, I had many friends who were of Mexican blood, but had become US citizens, even 2nd or 3rd generation American Citizens. I never viewed them as anything but Americans! 🙂
My family is (mostly) Irish. I think most people viewed me as an American, though, given that it was many generations since they had come to the USA.
Hi Bob –
These days whenever I visit the Philippines, I feel very much a Filipino in thoughts, in words, and in deeds just as I feel very much an American when I am back home in the States. In other words, I don’t feel I am an outsider in either country. I feel very much at home in both. Regardless of how long I have lived away from the Philippines, I never had any problem adjusting to the culture whenever I visit.
My love for the Philippines never waned. It is this love that sustained my desire early on to never lose my Filipino identity. During the early years of my acculturation process in America which started upon my family’s arrival in this country when I was 15, I was committed to embracing American culture without discarding my Filipino values.
I strove to incorporate newly-learned American values into my existing Filipino ones to a point where these differing values overlapped and became almost one, complementing rather than contradicting one another.
In so doing, I believe I have achieved having a dual cultural identity and a deep sense of loyalty to both countries. It is for this reason that I never feel an outsider looking in in either country.
Hi John, congratulations on that, I consider it to be quite an accomplishment.
One difference between you and I, I believe is that it is possible for you to be seen as a Filipino and an American. Because of the color of my skin that is not a possibility for me.
Hi Bob and John,
Interesting article. I feel in Asian countries nationality and race are tied together in the eyes of the people. When my wife came to the USA, we were watching the Olympics and Michelle Kwan was competing in figure skating. My wife had trouble considering her American because of her race. I don’t think this is stricty a Filipino thing. If you go to Japan you pretty mich just see Japanese people, Korea you see Koreans and China you see Chinese. I think a lot of Filipinos see a white person and think American. I don’t think there is a thing you can do or say that will change how Filipinos se you Bob or John.
Jay I think you goty point exactly!
Bob,
I kinda have an idea what you mean by always looking the foreigner in spite of all efforts to blend in. I have Chinese and Spanish ancestry, but I consider my self all-Filipino.
Anyway, my skin turns either reddish or Caucasian pinkish depending on the weather or room temperature. So, once in a while I get asked: “Are you Filipino” or “Are you Chinese”.
Often I get asked even by foreigners. After the pleasantries — “where you from”, “is it your first time here” etc. — then the inevitable question: “Are you Chinese?” Of course, I say no. “But you’re Filipino?”
It gets fun once in a while. I was window shopping and one sales lady said “hi, sir” with a more than average warm greeting. Before I could say anything she immediately launched into her sales pitch.
I listened very politely to every word and then commented in very crisp Tagalog: “Ang mahal naman, hija (it’s expensive)” The girl was startled — “Ay, Pilipino pala” (Oh, you’re a Filipino) — and we had a good laugh.
I really should get a DNA test someday just to satisfy my curiosity. 😀
Hi Bob, the answer to that question is, you will always be considered a foreigner by the “man on the street” and even closer friends and relatives, it´s up to the individual if he/she accepts the fact that it is a way of life here. I´m learning Illongo and I get many stares in the market when I go there to shop and try to speak some words…..still, you get a little more respect but you will always be the foreigner. I have an Indian friend who has been here 10 years or more, speaks the language very well but everyone calls him “the Indian” and he´s Asian, I have also heard people say “the Korean” or even “the Chinese” even though they are Filipino-Chinese but if you´re from outside Asia, you´ll always be “the foreigner”…. personally, I´m ok with that, I never think much about it and will just get on with my life here.
Hi Richie – You are sure right on everything you say. I was just thinking yesterday about Chinese. There are Chinese where the family has been here for many generations, yet they are still considered Chinese.. not Filipino. Even citizenship issues are difficult for Chinese here.
In my opinion an expat loses his tourist status when he stops talking about “them”. When he becomes just another neighbor.
I think that is a great way to look at it, Ron!
Interesting topic Bob
To my way of thinking, I don’t care how many Filipinos see or regard me as long as I am considered family by those who I care about.
I will always try to use my limited Visayan words whenever I go to the shops or a restaurant and I can see that people appreciate that and I will always tell locals that Davao City is my home but I can always see “foreigner” in their eyes. That doesn’t worry me though.
One way I have found that helps relax the locals that come to my house or I go to their house for a social event, which always ends up with karaoke, is to learn a local song. The look of surprise and joy that you even bothered to try is very pleasing. I don’t pretend to be an expert but just the fact that I have tried pleases them.
Cheers
AJ UK
Hi AJ it sounds like you are doing the right things to make for a happy life here. Keep it up and keep learning more Cebuano words and grammar too!
funny thing language ,,most of my relatives in phil speak very poor English so they say very little in English ,,,however a few smg’s and a karaoke machine and they can sing in perfect English,,lol
Hi Bloodymal – Ha ha.. SMB can do amazing things!
Bob,
I agree that total integration is highly unlikely.
Philippine transplants can to a limited degree become accepted in places where they spend a lot of time. I say limited, because though they make mighty efforts to adapt and adjust, their struggle is made improbable by their inability to jettison large parts of long-held value sets that mark them an alien being.
Skin color and assimilation are world-wide problems. But when we note that there are native Filipinos with physical appearances similar to any brand of expat you may want to name, it becomes necessary to understand that it’s the way they think and act that marks them as born, bred and original, vice transplanted.
Well-meaning expats often and unknowingly erect barriers to their inclusion by just being themselves. Educated natives make quick pivots upon hearing the vacuous term “the Filipino race” and are especially adept at escaping the clutches of an entitled feeling foreigner who, two years into his residency, professes to be a role model in the making, with ideas that have yet to cross the Filipino mind.
I think foreigners who judge themselves adjusted and happy in the Philippines never had, or have exorcised their need to be role models or Filipino-ish.
Hi Renato – Going on 16 years of living here in the Philippines, I feel well adjusted and happy here. I don’t even buy much imported stuff anymore! 🙂 My wife has become somewhat of an expert at being able to prepare foreign fare using local ingredients.
My happiness is not tied to “being Filipino” or needing to be a “role model of Filipino-ish” as you say. I find my own middle ground that makes me happy. I am certainly not American anymore, but I am not Filipino either. I am somewhere in the middle. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Bob,
Funny old word “Outsider”.
Not something I let bother me, in some ways I’ve always felt like an outsider or odd one out in my home country 🙂
Hi Chas – Nice to see you, it has been a while! Hope you are doing well.
One difference between how you feel and what I am talking about. You said that you always feel odd outside your home country. I am talking about feeling odd IN my home country.
Doing fine Bob, thanks.
I think we got crossed wires, Bob.
Outsider in my home country, meaning I rarely run with the herd and for the most part prefer to stride out on my own, lol.
I think moving from place to place every 2 or 3yrs as child, new schools and new people, conditioned me to accept being an odd one out anywhere, lol.
Very interesting, Chas. I also am a bit different and don’t usually follow the crowd. Also, when I grew up, we never lived anywhere longer than a couple of years.