A few days ago I was browsing on some of my web mails. I saw one that really caught my attention. The mail was from somebody that is really is close to Bob and I. We love this person dearly and this person I know for sure is totally honest in everything she will say.
Anyway, the neighbor of this person who are elderly died a few weeks ago. I guess it was due to starvation. The woman died first. I guess the husband just lay next to her until he died too. One of the neighbor went to these couple’s house to give something and they found the two of them lying already dead and holding each other. The sad part was these couple had few kids who are professionals, they didn’t even bother to visit or give something to their parents. I was also told that these old couple had one child who lives just a few houses away from them. She didn’t even go or try to see if her parents still have something to eat. Those kids were supported by their parents when they went to school during early days. One of the children was told about the death of their parents she starts sobbing. The neighbor didn’t like it because everybody wonders whats that tears are about. Everybody thinks that she faked her crying. I am really puzzled of what they are acting towards their parents. I am not here to judge, but I grew up in a culture where we have to take care of our elderly parent no matter what. It’s just really a shock to me of how these people handled their parents. For me, my parents don’t have much money but they sacrifice for us to go to school. In return now that my mom is ill I tried to do my share on taking care of her. I’m glad that Bob is so supportive of me on that.
Honestly, I was in tears when I knew about it. I could never imagine treating a human being like that. I hope that the children of these couple will think now what if it’s their turn to get old and their children will treat them that way? What will they feel about it?
What do you think guys? I know not one of us in these group would do something like that.
Take care everyone!
Hi,
I thought your post here was very sad indeed and reminded me of the fact that even here in the states there are things that are not so cool. I mean by that that many kids {not all} do not seem to want to be bothered by the responsiblity of watching over or taking care of their parents when they become to old to care for them selves and there seems to be a trend to have them put in nursing homes…{ now I am not saying that is bad…yet will explain more}and after putting them in a nursing home a lot of kids seem to forget they are there!!!…
Some years ago when I was in a dance group we went to a Nurshing home to entertain some of the older people there and was really a humble experince to see what I saw there…really gave me food for thought on how could I maybe be a little more sensistive to others.
I have always had a lot of respect for older people…My parents taught us kids this when little…I remember when I was about 8-10 years old my father would have me help the elder lady next door with some of her chores…like put her wood in for her or in the winter shovel her snow from her side walk so she would not fall and lots of other things and he always mentioned not to ask for any thing and just be happy with doing some thing for another with out expecting any thing…The real pay off then was the big smile on this 80 plus year old lady face and the warm look in her eyes and then the nice home made cookie she would give me some times…yap..a good feeling that I still remember to this day…and I think the lesson I learned at a young age is its ok to help some one else and not expect any thing..just the good feeling you have inside that you did something to help some one else…and you could always tell that the person appreicated your efforts and that to me was payment enough..
I do not understand why people do the things like you shared here and what I have seen here in the states..other than the world or a lot of people are into "SELF" a lot and selfish…
I think some times its easy in this busy world to not stop and take our own personal inventory of our selfs and ask our selves if we are doing our part…even if just a little part to help make a older person's life a little more easy…
So..nice post here Feyma..gives one something to think about a little and maybe stop and give thanks for what one has and do some reflection on whats really important in life……..
That is a tragic story. I am sure the kids had a million reasons they didn't get around to visiting their parents, and they may have even been not on speaking terms, that there is no excuse for what they did. Whatever they were so busy doing and whatever they were mad about, it was not worth it. Now they have to live knowing their parents died like that, and if they have kids, their kids will know it too. Everyone gets old. It is the last indignity, and having kind children makes all the difference. I know our kids will take care of us when we are old, and it is a real comfort. I believe this is a value that living in the Philippines has reinforced. I love the way old people are honored, valued and cared for here in the Philippines! It is the way it should be!
Hi Feyma, it is really a sad story and situation. American Lola, you are right, I also love the way how old people are honored, valued and cared for here in the Philippines. That's why also my 84-years old mom is living with us here since almost nine years… .
Hi Feyma,
I just want to share this sad but somehow funny story about my niece. This might give a lesson to all you readers.
I have one niece (daughter of my sister) who’d lived with us since she was only 7 month old. She is now a nurse working in London. My sister’s husband who was a military (the abolished PC-Philippines Constabulary), was frequently moving wherever he was assigned. When he was assigned in Bicol region, my sister went with him and left their daughter with us. Although they came to visit from time to time in Mindanao, my niece had a very diminutive affection with her biological parents and considered my Mama and Papa as her tangible guardians. The sad thing was she had developed a kind of bitterness against her original parents to the point where she didn’t want any interaction with them even to her younger siblings. It’s somehow funny just to think about it but her being melancholy had started only with a joke from her original father. The joke was “dili man ka namo anak…nakit-an ra ka namo paghuyos sa baha gikan sa bagyong Titang” 😯 (you are not our daughter…we’d only found you aftermath the flash flood of typhoon “Titang”). And guess what 😕 ? She took that joke profoundly and had only been relented during the death of her biological father 😥 . She came home all the way from UK to attend the funeral 🙁 .
Well, there’s lesson that we have gotten from this. “Sometimes a bedtime story is not funny for children”. 😕
Hello Teng and all, That is sad. They said that is always what happen to the lend child. The feeling of being lend is hurtful.
Hello Mady and all,
Although this thing has not been brought out or has not been spoken about within our family circle, I think all of us who took care of our niece from infancy to adulthood were partly reproachable to the manner built up on her over the years. I still remember how we pampered and spoilt her during her childhood coupled with a little bit of drawback kind of brainwashing 😳 . It’s sad that that joke became the front cover of all her antagonisms. Thanks God she’d put all these things behind and since the death of her father she became the bread winner of her mum and her two brothers who have both became sailors after finishing marine transportation courses. For her, home is still where my mama and papa live:smile: .
hello Teng,
I'm glad to hear that your niece put everything behind now and has move on with a good relationship with her mom and 2 brothers now. Indeed, nobody can take it away from her where her heart is when it comes to the meaning of home.
Hi Mady,
Yep, Everyone now is in good terms but my niece still has difficulty to call her mother a word like Mama, Mommy, or Nanay. But I guess this is less important than respect. We are all glad that respect prevails and it's showing that my niece's action speaks louder than words even if she only calls her "Tyay" (from the word 'Tiyay' which literally means Auntie) 😀