In the Navy we called it the Mushroom Theory: Which was when the ship’s command structure kept us in the dark and would feed us “BS”. So we never knew what was fully going on with the ship or its evolutions. The Merchant Marine was not a lot better in letting us know but the pay was far better and they were now wasting money vice time, because if you don’t think we’ll sit on full overtime waiting for someone to make up their mind, you’d be wrong, because we will gladly waste away hours with our thumbs up our…
If they secure us and then call us out later it goes into extra money so they let us wait. Many times I’ve made 8 hours of overtime for 2 hours of work. They built my house.
When I retired and came home to my house on the mountain I thought that the Mushroom Theory was banished from my life. Wrong again Paul it’s increased tenfold. My wife and daughters withhold things from me that they think might upset me. Plus no extra pay!!!
Typhoons, well I can’t blame them for that misinformation, they got the word from the Pag-Asa on TV (Pag-Asa: Philippine Weather Office) I do what Pag-Asa should do and log on to the weather channel and get the proper updates. But the ladies still would prefer that I didn’t know. A few years ago we had our 12X20 tent set up, I assumed it was a rain storm, Mayang knew it was the edge of a typhoon and later I’m in the backyard during a full blown gale ready to go parasailing with the tent. I got it knocked down before I left for Oz with Dorothy and Toto. (I would have played the Kano with No Information) but with only a couple of bent pipes all turned out well. Damn those Flying Monkeys!
These types of stories go back for 20 years ad nauseum, but since most of my fellow readers have experienced many of the same things here in the Philippines I’d be “Preaching to the Choir” I wager your stories are better than mine.
Okay where was I, I was sitting fat dumb and happy under that same tent last week only this time at the front of the house a left over item from that tragic event of Sunday May third in Las Vegas. When Mayang brought me a refreshing beverage, while I had her attention I asked her to ask my Dentist if I could drop by Wednesday morning and ask him a question about pressing dental matters. This was a blissful Tuesday morning when this conversation transpired, Wait for it…. Oh Honey Ko, the dentist will not be at work tomorrow as Olongapo City is having brownouts from 0800-1700 all day oh and the day after that.
I sipped my beverage and wondered; “How in the name of all that is holy did she know that?” When (if ever) would that little tid-bit have been divulged to me? Well that puts the ki-bosh on that plan; I’ll assume there is no reason I have to drive into the Big “PO” for the next couple of days. Notice that I never bothered to ask why the power would be out; the reason is because I learned years ago never to attempt urinating up a rope.
Well all is settled, and I can return to my e-reader novel and my refreshing beverage….”Oh Honey-honey” my bride exclaims; “The power is off in Bataan too!” Really I should have figured that out, I mean I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck last night.
I smiled and asked; “Sweetheart will the gas station be able to sell fuel for the generator in the morning during the brownout?” I was reverting to full mushroom mode, as we used to do on the ships, pleading ignorance of any and all upcoming events. I was not going to move, or worry about providing power to the house the next two days, as it could not possibly be any of my business. I have returned to my dark damp cave to spread manure and grow.
When within minutes Johnny on his Trike showed up to the gate, my wife comes dashing by carrying two empty fuel cans heading to the gate. (Of course we have a Gas Guy”)
The old Honda generator is now well stocked with fuel; the adult beverages are in the ref iced down and my E-reader is fully charged. So send your minions to vex me, do your worst to spoil my day. This mushroom will grow into a perfect Portobello. Remember there is always a “Guy” to solve everything.
Post Script: Typhoon Dodong is due to hit my area Saturday or Sunday, yes the tent was taken down Friday morning. But I’ve been waiting 20 years for a typhoon named Dodong, because anytime I’m called: “Hey Joe” I always respond; “Whatcha need Dodong?”
So this time the Pag-Asa told me the typhoon was coming towards me, then it will be South of me, now it will be North of me…. The fully stocked beer ref shall not have been filled in vain.