Sometimes unexpected things happen. Sometimes things build up, and you know that it is headed in a certain direction, but it’s not the direction you expected, and you just can’t bring yourself to admit it. Unfortunately, this is the case for me. I’ve come to the point that I can’t deny it any longer. Today, I have to admit it, though.
I have decided to pack it in, give up and go back to the States.
I know that I have not let on that I’ve been having a desire to do this, but when you run a site like this, it can be hard to admit that everything you’ve done online for the past two years or so is wrong. Now, I have to let the cat out of the bag. Feyma and I have decided to pack it in.
School is out now, and the time is right for the move. The kids won’t have to go back to school until September, and we will be back in the States by then, so the timing is perfect.
Why have I decided to leave the Philippines? Well, there are many reasons. Frankly, I’m tired of living here. Too many things just are not working out for me, and it’s time to just accept that I cannot make those things work out, no matter how hard I try. I know that in the States, I can make a go of it, so why not just face up to it, pack up everything and do it? That is the wise thing to do.
For all of you who have strong desires to live in the Philippines, listen to my advice. Don’t do it. It’s a pipe dream. You can’t make it here, and I am advising you to not even try. I have been trying hard for 9 years now, and I know what I am saying. No matter how you try, there are so many things you wil never be able to do here:
- Fitting into society is something that is practically impossible.
- As so many say all the time, you can’t earn money here in the Philippines, so why even try?
- You certainly can’t learn the language. I have been studying Bisaya for nearly 2 years already and there are still some things that I can’t understand in a conversation.
- The food is terrible. If you want to eat the kind of stuff that you are used to, it’s too expensive to buy!
- Due to massive corruption, your entire life will basically be hell. Unless you are willing to pay off everybody and his brother you will never get anything done.
OK, these are some of my reasons for deciding to leave. There are other reasons too, but some of them are just way too bad to put here on the site.
Just because I have decided to cut and run, don’t give up on this site, though. I know that a lot of you are too hard headed, and will continue with your zest for living in the Philippines. Because of this, I will continue to write here. My articles will be different, though. You see, I will now start writing about why you should not live here, and giving you plenty of reasons to change you mind!
I’m out of here. Will you be joining me?
_______________________
Update: This article was published on April 1, 2009. It’s important to realize that the publish date of this article was April Fools day 2009, and this artilce was indeed an April Fools joke. You should read my follow up article to get a full explanation of why I am not leaving the Philippines.
Yeah bob and i,m a chinese astronaut
I hope this is a April fools joke
Happy April Fool's day!
My dear friend – good to know, that today is first of April… April fool's day… – You might have mentioned some important reasons (really reasons?) to leave this beautiful country and its wonderful people… BUT, I don't gonna join you!!! Happy April Fools Day!!!
If I am wrong, please send me an email… .
hi bob,
you would miss the peanut with garlic and the stinky durian.
Bob,
You had me there for a minute. I just got up a while ago and I'm still a little sleepy. But when I looked at my watch to see the time –duh, then I saw the date. Good one.
Sir Bob, if it is an April fools joke, yep you got me hook line and sinker. Even my fiance was shocked.
I have been very ill for 8 days and I have just been well enough to get out of bed and check out your site.
So it is no surprise that I had the same conversation with my partner, I have had enough also. We are going back to Australia in a few months time. My romance with the Pines is over for now. Just tired of everything I think.
Happy April fool's day!!!! hahahahahaha….I was thinking of it just today…
Becoming one of them huh? "The Complainers" – Happy April Fool's Day!
Hi Bob 🙁
You really gave us a shock this morning, we nearly had a heart attack, don´t do it again !!!
Not thinking that it is the 1st of April. Hoping sincerely that this is a foooools day joke 🙂
You can really write very negative about things!
Especially us looking forward to retire in the lovely Philippines and meeting you and your family some day 🙂
Happy Fools Day 🙂 across the miles from Germany!
Hey Bob can I rent your place in Davao if you are leaving … Ha Ha Ha Happy first of April ..Hanging in there .. Phil n jess
Haha good one mate, old Bob had me going until I realized what day it was.
…..next time buy fresh coconut juice Bob!
Yeah you had me fooled till you went too negative. 🙂
I usually fall hook line and sinker for these things.
jerry will probably be into it though. Did you hire him as a ghost writer?
hi..so, is this really true?
I am just a reader… I frequently hear about this site,and the names Bob Martin, i usually tell my online friends to visit the site specially if they want to hear many good things about living in the philipiines particularly in Davao… but if this is true? how sad…
and seems unbelievable… for one foreigners have really been invited to invest and encouraged to enroll as Special Resident Retiree Visa holder to enjoy more benefits and opportunities here… Sad… Hope tjis isn't true…
Well Sir BoB to make matters worse a few seconds after I made my last post, my fiance's sister asked me for a donation and when I reached into my pocket – no wallet. I checked my other pocket and no phone. I went into a state of disbelief. I spent the last few hours putting the word out and a reward.
See, I had arrived home and logged onto your site after we went shopping and came home in a jeepney.
Casting my mind back I worked out how I was robbed of my possessions.
I got into the jeepney, sat down and a few seconds later three young guys got in, all dressed in black. Two of the guys sat on either side of me and the other facing me. The two guys either side of me had large black bags on their laps. During the trip I kept feeling the bags digging into my ribs and it was quite annoying. Then the guy facing me dropped his fare on the floor of the jeepney and he was lifting my feet to get all the pisos that fell down. That was the moment when the other two guys must have lifted my pockets taking my phone from one side zippered pocket and my wallet from my other pocket and cash from another.
I have to say one thing these boys were slick, very slick. I am careful ALL THE TIME, I trust no one here. Losing my key card and credit cards were a big blow, means absolutely no money whatsoever. Have to wait for replacements from OZ.
Just a warning to all your readers, if I can get taken so can you.
Bob!? What? Oh, it’s April Fools Day! You gave me quite a scare there, my friend. You are kidding us, right?
good one sir bob good one you are the man happy april 1st sir bob i was like what??????? until i read what people where saying it was a joke. hats off to you.
Bob..you would rather move to the moon…great Happy April Fools Day..
Hahaha! Dave told me about this article of yours. You had him fooled too but it only took a minute for him to get it….because he just got his April fool's joke from me!
Well whatever you decide to do Sir BoB, I wish you and your family all the best. I have loved your site because you simply work hard to make it an enjoyable read. You have always tried to put a bright side to the picture of the Pines where there is a lot of dark areas. I have enjoyed my two and a half years here, but that was because I loved my fiance more.
Look, anyone who has lived in the Pines for a period of time knows the trials of living here.
We live in a house about 30 metres from the seashore, a million dollar property anywhere else in the world. Our view and access of the beach is covered by nipper trees, so we don't have easy access. My partner would never let me swim there so I never pushed the thought. But being ill for about 8 days they insisted i go for a swim. Great idea I thought, I love the beach.
I met a Scottish guy about 10 days ago who lived in Iligan for 11 years. I asked him what he thought of the place. I was shocked at his answers and he made no bones about what he thought about our city. I can't repeat what he said, my partner and I were so taken aback. So I think his brutal honesty made me think. I was sugar coating many aspects of our life here. I discussed everything with my partner this morning and now that I was robbed, our decision to leave was easy.
Sorry Sir BoB, after the words…"I love the beach" there is the following.
When I got to Santiago beach I was appalled at what I saw. bike tyres, thousands of plastic bags, old t-shirts, half coconut shells, hessian bags, rubbish everywhere in and out of the water. My partner went for a swim against my wishes and protests, she said it was nice. I said she was mad. Then she said to bring our baby in the water. Well that was the straw that broke the camels back. God forbid, we had a big talk afterwards and I said I don't want this life for my children. It was my wake up call.
Blimey Bob,dont do things like that,im an old man lol lol.
Oh! Gosh Bob! I thought you were serious…You fooled me. 🙂
Good luck to you Pete!
Good gravy Bob… I'm still not sure if you mean it…
That a sad news, just when I was going to move there and give you the extra millions I had….so sad news…..
Bob,
Is that true???Huh,huh,huh!!!!April fools day!!!!im just like to read all your columns but now i will have comments,are you serious????My husband wants to ask w/c is the best place to LIVE in philippines Davao,Cagayan,Dipolog or Iligan but you are giong to LEAVE…
I hope that this is only FICTION.but if indeed this is FACTS then goodluck to you and your family.
laffinggggg OMG Bob you really had me there still laffing wait a sec i have to pick up my jaw thats on the floor happy april fools day 😆
Hi Bob – I'll join you but today only. 🙁
Wait a minute, if I'm gonna join you, I won't arrive there until two days from now. By then, it's no longer today and I can't join you.
😆
Hello Bob,
Well you sure done a good number on me. I couldn't believe what I was reading until I read the responses. If it weer not for the others response, I don't know if I would have caught on or not. Good job on me at first. I was thinking well do I take my land off the Real Estate listing or do I just keep on planing what I'm planing and sell and maybe move there anyway hoping that I would like it,even though Bob don't anymore. I also thought well maybe back to my old original plans of moving to Costa Rica, Roatan, or Panama. Have been to Costa Rica and I'd have to learn Spanish to get by in any of those countries.
Like I said good job on me Bob and my cowboy hat goes off to ya! By the way, do you think that the Philippine Immigration would let somebody as slow as me into their country?
Happy April Fools,
Dale
Hi Bob,
i got my first taste of April Fools joke first hour this morning from my husband…but don't make my heart beats faster by telling everything you had enough. That decision just don't come out overnight. I hope you will take your words back in your next Topic…Happy April Fools Day Bob. Take care, we all love you.
Peachy
Well, I thought it was serious, until I read other people's comments 🙂 I am currently living in L.A. County, but a time will come that I will come back home (Philippines). I am not worried financially on what I will do *shrug All I know is that I really wanted to be home with family!
Bob,
I've only been reading this site for a month or so but even I knew it couldn't be true just from the title alone. Way to shock the others!
Hello Bob,
I had a goosebump when I saw this…we are so getting ready to move back there…and always try to look for signs…now i'm a little worried…
Are you serious?
thx,
rose
hi bob ,well when u return to u.s.a please click on to weight watchers website,if u want to live another 10 years ,why are most AMERICANS so overweight?? serious question,anyway all the best for what ever your plans are ,but man that weight is a worry
Hey Christine !
Where is Zimbabwe at?
knock knock…..Bob….hhheeellllooooo…anyone home?????
Morning Bob,
Well, IF your post is all BS, then you could sell sand to the Arabs, mate! That is VERY, very convincing!! I suppose I will need to wait till tomorrow to find out for sure? I think you might almost have me believing your post. If for no other reason than it is damaging to your site if not true? A real MYSTERY!
Hi Bob
Ha Ha nice one,good story.
BTW i won 10 mil on the lottery yesterday,LOL.
regards Chas.
Kuya Bob, are you serious? 🙁
uh-huh. by the way, i have something to confess. i'm actually indonesian but i enjoy your blog a lot and thought i'd join in the fun. sorry for being dishonest.
ha, ha, Dale, you're serious you don't know where Zimbabwe is? That's in Africa. Ever heard of Robert Mugabe? He's the President-dictator actually. Any idea how much to buy a burger there? 1,000 Zimbabwe dollars. Ever heard of a disease called "Cholera"?- That's in Zimbabwe too and it's rampant, (AIDS aside). And some of you lot thought how hard done by you are for being in the Philippines 🙂
Hi Bob, can I call you "Manoy Bob"? You would say "Manoy" in Mindanao right?
…Bob…..are you off your meds again??????
Note to self, stop taking all credit cards with me when I go out!
Wayne, you're making it very hard to be nice to you.
Since your leaving, please redirect your traffic to my site. 🙂
Kuya Bob is not around maybe he's packing his things right now 😆
Wow, I'm glad you're having a good time here. Your picture doesn't look like indonesian 😆
Absolutely free! But be warned, I might find you suffering from a severe Delusional Disorder, (Delusional that you really want to go back to the US) then you won't be able to go because you have to be treated first, LOL! 🙂
My prescription to treat that Manoy Bob is for Feyma to give you plenty of TLC's. OK so you're getting that now, I recommend daily foot massage on top of TLCs. Your delusion is guaranteed to clear in 1 week. 🙂
Hi wayne keer – Do you know how to read, or are you just an ass? I've lost 160 pounds since living in the Philippines, and am still losing weight.
Well maybe you are just playing April fools, but truth is I really don,t think there is much there for an American. I was stationed at Subic for 5 years, married a Filipina 37 years ago and if the naval base were there i would be there. But I see nothing but a hassle living in the PI, Back in the day, the girls, the bars and the girls were all there was to live for. Doubt you can go any were without someone trying to rip you off and Philippines is not Japan there are dangerous people there who will kill you. Joke or not thanks for bring me back to my senses.
Hi brian – I'm here…. was in the shower when the doorbell rang.. sorry! 😯
Yes, he sent them to me…… 🙂
Hi AussieLee – No need to wait for tomorrow. As I mentioned to others, this afternoon, 5pm Philippine time, I will be explaining more about my reasons that I laid out here. It is serious, and important information that I'll be sharing.
Hi Henry – When will you be in Davao? Soon, right? I just want to set up my schedule and make sure if I'll be in Davao at that time.
Hi chasdv – 10 Mil? Congratulations, my friend! I am very happy for you! Don't forget the Philippine culture under the SIR system… you have to share with your friends!
Hi Philmor – Grabe man. OK lang ka?
Hi macky – You're Indonesian? I always knew that there was something different about you! You're not one of those JI boys are you? 😯
Hi Daryl – That's serious! I'm glad that I don't ride jeeps too much. I think last time I rode one was in 1999!
Hi Christine – OK lang, walay problema. Naay "Manong" diri sa Mindanao. OK lang magtawag ko ug "Day" sa imo? 😉
Hi brian – meds? Those are too expensive here, so I stopped taking them! Do you think that's a problem? ❓
Bob: Heading to Gensan tomorrow, and possibly Davao if time allows (Not sure right now… Depends on Gensan schedule). I'll ring you tomorrow if it looks possible. Would love to take you and Feyma to dinner (But may be too short notice!!! Argh… My schedule!)
Hi Rusty – I am always careful of what I carry when I go out. I did get pickpocketed one time in SM about 5 years ago, and lost a BUNCH of money! Since then, I've been very careful.
Hi Rusty – Very true… I never understand how people who know nothing about a person think that on the net they have license to be a total ass.
sir bob, if not a joke you and your family have a safe trip.god bless you and your family.
Bob
I was on the edge of my seat all day wondering if this was a joke. I'm really sorry you are leaving. And just as I'm getting ready to come back too. I really am curious which straw it was that changed your mind. At least I hope it wasn't something life changing. I have doubts sometimes too but don't really have many options as my health just wont allow me to work and my income isn't very good.
I have been a bit concerned lately with not having a good backup plan. I originally wanted to go to Chile but decided I just couldn't afford to take the family there. Maybe I should look into Malaysia for a backup a few people have been saying good things about it lately but I know they have some Muslim problems there that seem to get worse. But for now I'm still moving to the Philippines.
I am wondering why you would go now though, the US isn't as attractive as it once was even from the economic angle and I think things will get MUCH worse. I hope you have some income lined up there or I will be worried about you. I wish you the best whatever you do.
Bob,..say it isn't so,…tell us that ur not really leaving Phils
dang, for a while i envied you, thinking it'd be so easy and cheap for you to order those green coffee beans so you could roast to your heart's content. 🙂
I figure it has to be an April Fools joke because the 5 reasons you listed for wanting to leave are laughable.
1. I'm sure you are not really concerned with fitting it.
2. You seem to make a good living in the Phils and we all know that jobs are not paying enough there for kanos. Start your own business or work for peanuts. Plus you own land there already to build on.
3. You have stated on a few occasions how well you have been communicating with everyone there in Bisaya.
4. I remember a topic awhile back where you mentioned how the fruit is so much better in the Phils than in the USA.
5. Corruption? In a 3rd world country? The hell you say.
Bob – Forgot to tell you, I died last week and am writing this from Heaven. Hope you had a great April fools day.
Christine,
OK, thank you for educating me on Zimbabwe and no I didn't know who Robert Mugabe is, but now I do and I thank you very much. Yes I do know what Cholera is,(not good!). Didn't know it came from there either. And thank you for telling that a hamburger cost 1000 Zimbabwe dollars. (sounds expensive to me)
…read ur article today a few times Bob trying to figure out if it was real or not… connected the dots on what u told me about your Samal descision….was still hopeful you might be playing a prank.
Hi CHRISTINE YOU ARE WAY OUT ON THE PRICE OF YOUR HAMBURGER IN ZINBABWE. 2 WEEKS AGO WHEN I WAS THERE. on monday the hamberger was 60billion zim dollars. Same time tuesday same shop 200billion zim dollars.Same shop same tme Wednesday 300billion dollars I just phoned my friend in Bulawayo now to check current price of hambugers. No prices available as there is no meat. Yes Sir Bob your move to leave Phil and relocate back to the states is one of the best moves you will ever make/ Great idea and you can count on my full support. But hang on i like the coffee in Davao if you leave i will have no to drink coffee with .Sir Bob a big favour for the sake of our friendship alone . Please stay in Davao other wise i will have no one to drink coffeewith.Please stay Please
Hi Bob. I am absolutely FLOORED! Mostly sad, for the effort that you & your family have made to fit in & maintain such a positive attitude. I haven't been a great contribution to your site,but I follow it daily for years. I feel like I am losing a good friend. I also am somewhat depressed by your decision, as it has an impact on my plans. I am no stronger than you are. I only hope the best for you & your family. Guy
is this a record for responses yet? It must be close!
Hi Bob,
Something must have happened to you that is a real heavy deal breaker if you are not joking us. I noticed from your recent responses to me that you felt constrained in what you could say there. I am a non conformist too, it must be tough.
If you are leaving then i feel very sad to see your dreams broken after you have worked so hard at making it there. I have loved reading your posts and will miss your reasoned optimism and insightful comments.
Good luck.
Hi Bob great joke. Hope to see u later this year
Can anyone help me in putting one of my pics next to my comments
Hi Bob
As soon as I read the title of your article today, I knew it was an April fools day joke. That is why I believe you are putting another article today to retract this article, plus its anyones decision to live in the Philippines and you would never advise anyone without knowing their situation not to go. I know in the Philippines people know about April Fools day. Have a great day.
Well,Well,Well…..
When I read your column I was sure that hell had frozen over.
I got half way down your story and realized what the date was and smiled.
Yah almost had me. 🙂 🙂
Yaah . True i have not been to Davao sine February 20008 and missing her badly . But from march 2008 i have been going down hill health wise Any way i have bottomed out health wise and glad to say adjusting to the limitations i now have on me. But you know me always positive and back on the road travelling again. Angie brings a new addition to the family early May . in June iam bringing her cousin over to South Africa for 6 months. Thae i will be off galivanting around the world again. Will get to Davao as soon as i can, proberbly July. i read your blog everyday sick or not. Its part of my way of life. Something that gives me pleasure even when one gets the odd screwball. But thats life hey. Awaiting your annocement with bated breath. Regards to Feymer and all out there.
Yaah Bob . MAYBE WE WILL NOT MAKE IT TO 20008 QUITE STRANGE THAT ADDITION TO THE FAMILY. GUESS IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE MEDICATION I WAS ON AT THE TIME. BUT THEN I SUPPOSE AT 58 IT IS A CONSOLATION TO KNOW YOU CAN STILL PERFORM.THE NEW ADDITION WILL BE A BOY . I WANTED TO CALL HIM ERAP BUT FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER THE OLD GIRLS GOT A KIND OF HANG UP ON THAT NAME. WONDER WHY. GETTING NEAR THE WITCHING HOUR ROBERT. YOU HAVE ALL YOUR BLOG FOLLOWERS TUNED IN APPREHENTION IS HE JOKING OR IS HE SERIOUS FOLKS.OH ALL THIS EXCITMENT I MUST GO AND PEEL A GRAPE AND TAKE A MILD SEDITIVE .LIKE A LARGE JOHNNIE WALKER BLACK LABEL
Hi Bob
The holiday you mentioned is on Dec. 28. It is called the Feast of the holy innocents or Nino Inocentes. By the way Aguinaldo pledged his allegiance to the U.S. on April 1, 1901. What irony.
Hey come on Bob…..
It is 1:20am in Vancouver and I am waiting for your next installment…..I gotta work Bob…..you are a cruel man….
Yah dangle the carrot and make us wait. BOOOOOO BOOOOO
It had better be good !!!! 🙂 🙂
Hello Bob,
Maayong hapon,,can we have your email address if its ok for you,so that we can send any question about living there coz my husband was too busy…ok!!!
Daghang salamat.
Hi Bob
You almost had me believing there! I was just about to call you a hypocrite! Then I remembered the date! Nobody makes that much of a U turn, not even our politicians!
All the best
Malcolm
naah. the first sedatie did not work a think i will have to take another one. aarh thts better i can feel it flowing through the vains.
Bob,
We got your email just now and thank you for that!!Bob how we can pay for your book by credit card or by what?
Thank you.
not my favorite post bob–i belive anything told to me until proven wrong–sometimes it is a good thing –sometimes a bad thing –but it is my way–just sending this to help reach the 200 mark–have a great day –but please –no more jokes like that
Hi Bob
Thanks.
Yes I figured out pretty quick that you were not leaving the Phils.
I knew that for sure….because Hell did NOT freeze over!!!!!!
Your new article didn't hit the column until after I had signed off.
Yes I am still working towards immigrating to Cabanatuan.
With the recession finally starting to touch Canada my plans will have to adjust a little but I will get there.
My filipina friend is going to move over 1st and get the money making Tilapia ponds(8 of them) going for income and then fix up some stuff and then I will make a couple of trips over to get my house on the go and then immigrate.
I have a Rotary club brother who deals in shipping containers all over the world so I will get an awesome deal on shipping my goods over.
It will be him that ships the supplies over for the Dental Mission.
hi bob and rusty ,sorry if i offended u ,on my view on overweight ,americans ,but it is my view ,BOB I READ ABOUT YOUR HEALTH PROBLEM sory u have this ,as cant be easy in that climate ,i'v lived in cebu and been back and forth to philippines many times ,i enjoy the place ,but often wonder what the people think of foreigners ,as many of the ones i see hanging around malls are what we at home would call tramps ,very few decent dressed clean foreigners ,i suppose u dont agree with this , i feel the philippino p ople are very patient and tolerent towards foreigners ,just my view ihave philippino wife and she a great girl ,
hi bob ,yes i know how to read ,i trying to be nice ,but doesn"t alter the fact most americans hanging the malls in cebu are overweight and look like tramps .but good luck to you and ,your friends .i will not reply as we have nothing in common to chat about ,good luck with your health
dude, at least be brave enough to put a face when posting the message.
because of my work ,i read your message today 3 april ,
and i thaught : this can,t be true.
Then i realised that it was written on april 1 .
Nice joke , but i think that there was nobody that
believed it ithe first place.
You , almost a Filippino in thaughts and spirit,
Gr.nton
Hi Bob
Its true, situations and circumstances do change…but not over night!(:-))
Malcolm
Hi Bob,
hahaha, I am not sure if you are just joking, because what you said about the Philippines is true.
LOL Bob…
For a moment, I thought you're domain had been hacked. Not!
I knew you were kidding…even before reading the 228+ comments. LOL.
Junior
Hi Junior – Ha ha… sorry to scare you! 😆
Looks like you could not April Fool many of the regulars on here Bob, LOL. I seriously doubt that you would ever leave Mindanao. Nice attempt though and while you were doing that, I was visiting Jollibee in Las Vegas ! Had a good time there visiting friends and some of the many attractions. There is also a Red Ribbon and Chow King in Las Vegas too.
Hi Bob NY – You're sure a traveling man, and you like Jollibee a lot too! I'm glad that you enjoyed your time in LV.
Thanks for the April fools article ….
That’s am old April Fool article. A blast from the past .
Whew. Gave me a start.
Ha ha…
I ve lived in the philippines probably 2 yrs and a half between stays….this last stay will be more than 10 months lol for two reasons: 1) my gf got pregnant(its my kid) and we now have a one month old baby! And i lived 7 months in beautiful amazing bantayan island, cebu province. For a second i thought this post was true but for 2009 , you never know people can get fed up for sure. The main reason now i want to leave is to go back to my apartment in italy , buy my italian cigars and have a fantastic espresso and real pizza, seeing all my things , my friends and family . Hopefully next time i will be able to go with my baby and my gf.