Last week I received a phone call from Don Bullock a LiP reader and new arrival to the Philippines’s. He stopped by my house, where we got acquainted over a beer or two.
I called my good friend Tommy and we decided to go to Texas Joe’s for lunch.
Don and his wife Anita followed my new old car, and I was carrying in my car Anita’s Mother and sister as they had been riding in the bed of the pick-up truck.
So there we were the eight of us at lunch and having a great time. After we were through eating, we left the ladies inside and moved to the outside bar for a cocktail or two, Tommy, Don and myself. We were getting along and enjoying our time together, when the ladies came out to join us. An hour or so later the ladies decided that we’d enjoyed ourselves for long enough and it was time to go. We manly men informed the ladies that we had just ordered a round of special beverages, so our departure would be delayed.
I walked over to my new old Honda and started the engine and turned on the Air/Con to cool down the car prior to departure. As luck would have it, even though I didn’t fully close the driver’s door I heard the click of the electric lock. My wife gave me the “LOOK”; you know that glare they have that speaks volumes to you.
I took the “LOOK” with a smile, and asked her for the special credit card key we bought at the SM Mall, for emergencies just like that. When we purchased “The Spare Key” she insisted that it would be far safer in her care than mine.
The “KEY” was not in her wallet, it was in the purse at home that she had with her the day we got the key. Her look disappeared, the glare was missing now, and I was no longer the man who had done wrong.
I’m the type of guy who will not gloat, so I suggested that she and Tommy’s wife Loleth make the 20 minute run to my house and retrieve “THE KEY” while we guys had another cocktail. Now the fun really begins. Mrs. Thompson, my wife Mayang noticed while looking for the car keys that she did not have the house keys with her.
Oh joy! My exoneration is complete, for even if I had not locked the keys in the running car, we still would not have been able to open the gate or enter the house when we got home. Why, because of the metal bars on every window and door.
But the running car with the keys in it was still our first hurtle. Mr. Gil Lee the manager heard of my plight and arrived with his handyman and a piece of wire to open my door. Thank the stars that the door was slightly ajar and the wire slipped through quite easily. So there we were, Don, Tommy, Gil, the Handyman and yours truly working on trying to hook that door lock and pull it up. It kept slipping off and after a long time we were getting frustrated. Well the handyman was really doing all the work.
Then Don’s lovely wife Anita calmly walked over and suggested that instead of trying to hook on the lock, we push the power window button on the door. We did and in 10 seconds the problem was solved. So there stood 4 Kano’s and one Pinoy handyman, looking at each other with fresh egg or our faces. I, of course, thanked Anita for her brilliant idea, and Gil Lee bought us another round of liquid adult libations.
Turn out the lights, the parties over. Mayang is now driving us home after a most interesting day out. She’s worried about how we are going to get in the house when we get home. But have no fear, Paul has a plan!
(Using Mr. Peabody’s Way-Back-Machine) It’s 1999 on a mountain in Bataan and my house is under construction. The house was at the stage where the iron bars were ready to be installed on every window. I took issue with the design as I’d noticed that if the house was on fire my wife and our two daughters plus myself and the dogs were all going to be toast. There was no way out, because we were all locked in, by the very iron bars that were keeping the criminal element out.
Remembering my house in Puerto Rico I told the “Iron Guy” that I wanted a hinged section on every first floor bedroom window and one each in the dining room and living room. That could be locked, yet could quickly be opened in case of a fire.
And my plan came to pass, when I returned from my next cruise at sea I noticed that the iron bars were installed as per my instructions. But the keys were in a drawer in the kitchen! So I took each key and placed it close to each window in every room, so a speedy egress could be performed. Then we held drills to ensure that every member of the house could exit the building if there was an emergency. (Stop Way-Back-Machine)
Returning to the keyless night on the mountain, we contacted my nephew to climb the wall and open the gate from the inside and parked the car. Now I’m a tad over served and didn’t get involved in the discussion as to how they were going to defeat the iron bars on the window and enter the house. Then I reminded Mrs. Thompson that each set of bars had a lock on it. So they decided that a hacksaw would work on the lock and entry could be gained.
My nephew Michael and I went to the back to get the saw, and I smiled and told him we didn’t need it, I opened a tool box and took out the spare key to my computer room that I’d placed there ten years ago for just such a situation. Unlocked the window and Michael entered the house and opened the front door.
There Mayang was standing by a front window waiting for the saw when the door opened and Michael stepped out with a large grin on his face.
Mayang was pleased with how it all turned out, and the subject of me locking the keys in the car and her not having the spare key and leaving the house keys at home was never to be spoken of again. Albeit the next time we went out I did ask if she had all the keys. It was not one of my better ideas!
Hi Paul…funny story for sure and glad you all got back in the house….I am sure you will come up with a plan to have 1 more spare key hid away someplace just in case this ever happens again some day and the tool box is not there!
Dan;
The tool box is no longer the place to hide a key after posting that fact on the World Wide Web. But yes Plan “B” is now in effect, and knowing my darling wife, it will never happen again.
So the key to happiness is having the right key at the right time?
Oh Tom;
Did you really have to say that? (lol) But I think you keyed in on the subject quite well.
Hi Paul
enjoyed your post it gave me a laugh . on a serious note though you mentioned about the bars on the windows and what a trap they would be to your family if a fire broke out. This is a concern to me as all our windows are barred and im really concerned when im away working. As the windows were already in place when we bought the house im at a loss to know how to tackle this problem. Im getting smoke detectors installed this week so at least my family should get some warning if a fire breaks out and they will have some chance to escape through the doors , no easy process to as they are double locked but apart from this im not sure what i can do.
David;
The smoke alarms are a good first move, I have one in every room. As for the bars I’d spend the money to modify a few of them either with a hinge system or take it off and add a long pin on each corner and then drill through the walls and attach them with cotter pins so they can be pushed out to the ground during a fire.
Thanks for your helpful advice Paul, much appreciated and if i can find someone competent to do the job i will try and get at least a couple of the windows modified before i go back overseas to work.
David;
Keep ’em safe!
Remember Paul she wasn’t drinking those special concoctions so thus the ease of thought of going the power window route. Honestly I don’t think I could ever live in a house with iron bars on them. Too unsightly and way too dangerous in a fire situation even with hinges. I think will opt for either a gated community, a killer dog or a guard but never in a million years bars. Reminds me of my previous long term housing……kidding
Paul;
My wife any many others will not live in a house without them, I agree with you about being unsightly and unsafe so I did the best I could under the situation I’m under. And remember what James Bond said; “Never Say Never!” (lol)
I love it Paul, it’s just the same kind of chaos that occasionally happens in our life. I, too, had a car which used to lock itself for no apparent reason sometimes, but only during the winter frosts in the UK. Of course, the first time I discovered this, I had decided to start the car, put on the heaters etc and leave it for a while. Then, when I came out, the car was lovely and warm on the inside I think, all the frost had gone from the windows and mirrors, but it was locked, the V6 purring away happily, heated seats, windows, mirrors etc all working perfectly. Modern cars are far too secure, and an hour or more spent messing around with wire coat hangers, an unhelpful call to the Automobile Association who wanted to put it on a trailer and take it to the main dealer. Quite how they intended to release the handbrake, I’m not sure, and putting a car on a trailer with the engine still running is probably illegal etc. Finally, all of this resulted in me becoming “quite irate” lots of sticky tape over the drivers door window and a hammer to the corner of it, followed by a trip to Autoglass for a new window. Of course, the following day, the spare key turned up again, and what did the main dealer say about the central locking system? “No fault found”!
Jim;
But the car was warm as toast! I feel your pain, I found out during a brownout when I needed gas for my generator that my Honda will not let you syphon gas from the tank. The spare key in the wallet is the way to go. My wallet not my wife’s handbag!
Hey Paul,
I had the same problem getting into my house a couple of years ago. My solution was to buy one of those combination lock boxes with the house keys inside. I placed it in an area that is out of sight so strangers would not be tempted. Just a thought.
Hudson;
An Idea with merit, I’ll put it where my toughest dod sleeps.
Paul, you have to make these things up. I do not need to do sit ups or crunches any more, because your stories give my belly a workout lol. We have come a long way from 50’s America when doors were left open and kids could come and go. I always think of Otis on the Andy Griffith show, free room and board. Keep it up Paul, but no pressure haha. Joe
Joe;
Witnesses Joe, and I named them above. (lol) If I only could make it up and just sit home and enjoy a cold one, life would be wonderful. I know about never locking the house when I was a kid in the 50’s, it was a simpler time. All we had to worry about was duck and cover during a nuclear attack. Life was grand.
Paul,
I profoundly state “I am not obsessive – compulsive”, well that is except when it comes to locking the car door. I will not lock the car door unless I am looking at the dang keyring in my hand as I lock the door, sometimes I look twice to make sure that I am looking at the correct key ring.
When my urgency of the moment exceeds my brain speed I generally lock the keys in the car, usually when I am charging into McDonalds for an emergency bathroom break.
I have one of those magnetic key hiders, but have never used it.
I should put a spare key in my wallet – hope I didn’t leave it in the car!
Jade
Jade;
I’ve seldom locked the keys in the car, and this time I did it to cool the car down. But the electric door locks took over and activated like they were possessed.
My idol speaks again. (-:
Ron;
As I used to say about Officers in the Navy; “He’s my idol, he’s my hero, he’d my idle hero.”
I’d say that the final libation was the key! 😆
Final libation?
Paul that’s sounds very final to me! (lol)
Paul,
You had me cracking up again. The main thing is you got more drinking time in with your friends and your not in the doghouse. My dad lives in Ohio so he had a system installed so in the winter he remote starts his car to warm it up. No worries about locking the keys in the car. Being in Law Enforcement i always had a “slim jim” available to unlock cars in emergencies. Sounds like a good idea using cotter pins to secure your bars on the windows. Don’t have to worry about keys then. Take care brother.
Papa Duck;
LUNCH not drinking! Oh hell who am I trying to kid!
The bars with the cotter pins was my choice for mine, but the wife nixed that idea. She wanted locks! Remote start, my father had the same thing, 5 sons!
Paul funny story,same thing has happened to me a few times.I recognize the
name of Don Bullock ,we were in high school in Kodiak Alaska mid 60’s ,was wondering if this was old class mate last i heard he was living in Canada.maybe
if it is him he will post back here and we will get in touch. wayne
Wayne;
Don is from Maryland, but I’ll ask him for you when he comes by next week.
Hello Paul T., nice to see another kano near me IlocosNorte, barangay of Davila, pasuquin.
I get to Quezon ciity lots of time as the wife has family there, maybe some day I can slip down to subic and have a visit with you. “[email protected]”
John and Deborah Thomas