A little over 2 years ago I posted a story (The unexpected company) of these 2 young girls named Arnie & Irish who were at our gate asking for our recyclable plastic bottles. My kids not only gave them the plastic bottles, they also fed those kids. We even brought those kids to the dentist. So lucky that we have a very generous dentist named Dr. Lourdes.
Anyway, a month or two ago my kids and my niece told me that the mom of Arnie & Irish had another baby. I just said “really”? To be honest what can I say. Arnie the oldest girl was kind of embarrassed seeing my kids and that they had another baby. But Irish was the talker and blabbed about they had a brand new baby. When my kids asked them where’s their mom? Irish said that their mom was working again to be a laundry lady not long after giving birth. She has to help the husband make some money. The husband’s job, he gathers plastic bottles and cardboard boxes for recycle and sells them.
A week or so ago. I was outside with my kids. We were cleaning our front yard cutting the grass in front. The oldest brother of Arnie came to us. He knows that we don’t know him. He really introduced himself that he was the older brother of Arnie & Irish. He told us that he is getting the fish in the canal in our area. So we asked him are you guys eating those fish? He said “NO”, he is selling those to like owners of a coi pond.
Really seeing him really makes us miss those 2 girls. Arnie really is embarrassed to swing by at our house now after their father got mad at their mom. He was so jealous that his wife comes home just a little after dark to finish up her laundry job here at the house. He was accusing his wife of having somebody. It was getting ridiculous that I told the mom of those kids to tell the husband that “She will not be working here if he had job to support them”. Honestly I don’t even need her here at the house. I already had a laundry lady, but I just want to give her a job instead of handing her the money.
I don’t think the oldest kid is in school now. They used to be in school before. But I think their kids now had to help their parents make money and take care of the younger siblings. Some people here let their kids even the 9 year old kid take care of the younger siblings at that age. The parents sometimes will ask the neighbor to keep an eye on their kids while they go to work. Lucky for our laundry lady, she had her parents and siblings near her house that her mom takes care of her kids while she’s working for us or her other jobs.
I’m still hoping for the best for Arnie & Irish family. Hopefully at the end they will just move to the province since the mom’s family had a small farm land there anyway. I think the wife wants to move but the husband likes to live in the city. In my opinion it will be good for them to be there and they will grow their own food. Crossing my finger.
They are so cute. I can see why you miss them.
They really are cute James especially after my kids bathe them and gave them descent clothes.They really are good kids, the dad is just a pain in the neck sometimes for them.
Thank you for stopping by!
Hi Feyma – The wife would be diligent enough to do extra for the family, then to get accused of having an affair is crazy. Maybe the husband thinks the extra money is in return for sexual favors. Hopefully all goes well for them.
Hi Brenton – I felt sorry for the wife, she’s torn. She wants to make money but she’s also not wanting her husband to get mad at her of getting home after dark. We know that she’s not seeing someone. But the husband is just crazy. He hit her sometimes because he is so jealous. Oh well…
Good to see you here always Brenton. Have a great day!
Hi Feyma
Insecurity is really an affliction for some. For many men, if the woman earn money it dents their ego, I tell my wife to earn more, then I can do less. Lol!!!
I have observed in Filipino culture they don’t teach boys a lot of practical skills around the house and consequently the woman do most of the house and family tasks, but that’s not a problem until the guys doesn’t work or provide properly, then the woman brings in money by working and are still expected to do everything at home and for the family.
Any man that expects their woman to work, then do all the other house and family work, need a slap. In Binisaya I believe it to be “Sagpa on tikaw ron dong!”. Forgive my spelling/grammar if it’s not correct, but you would understand the context. Lol.
It is so sad that she is out earning honest money and goes home to his abuse. Yes those two are precious.
you are so nice to employ their mother.
May God bless you.
Hi Brian – Yep so true. Problem is she lets him continue doing it. She should have said something to him a long time ago. But I’m not sure what’s really going on at their house. We just knew a lot by what the kids told us.
Nice to see you here!
Mrs Feyma,
It’s sad the girls have to grow up in an environment like that. They seem to be really good kid’s. What boggles my mind the most is the families that continue to have children when they can’t support the ones they already have.
Hi PapaDuck – Yep so sad for the kids. they really are good kids.
*** What boggles my mind the most is the families that continue to have children when they can’t support the ones they already have.*** —… I know what you mean. Tell me about it. It’s just depressing to see, but nothing we can do about it.
Always good to see you here. Have a wonderful day!
Hi Feyma,
My wife told me that the news from our family is that one of my nephew’s and his wife are going to have another baby. He already has a 2 year old and a 1 year old. He works at KFC and his wife is a saleslady. I told my wife that her sister needs to tell him to tie a knot in it. Their kids are beautiful and a blessing in all, but they need to be more responsible because they can’t afford to keep having kids. On the other side who knows maybe one of their kids will cure cancer.
Take care!
Jay
Hi Jay – I know you’re concerned about it. Guess what happened if you or your wife will say something, you will be the bad guy. Been there done that. 🙂
Good luck to your wife’s family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.
Have a pleasant day!
Hi Feyma –
Stories like this abound all over the big cities of the Philippines even when I was a still in the elementary school way back when. It is truly one of the most perplexing conundrum of a society that eludes my comprehension.
I wonder what it is that drives people from the provinces who have no marketable skills, have no education and are already poor to begin with to flock to big cities like Manila, Cebu, or Davao when even those who have college degrees have a hard time finding jobs there. Guess what, many such folks from the provinces end up living in squalor, and because there are no jobs to be had, they have nothing else to do, aside from foraging garbage heaps for their daily meals, but make more babies within the confines of their cardboard shanties.
The mystery is this: Why would an otherwise sane people choose to live an existence of utter despair in the slums like this,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA47NcuKKaQ
when they could have stayed put in the provinces where the air is fresher and less crowded, and they can live off of the land in a paradise surrounded by verdant farm like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRnsTxljQRk
It’s simple. Some people are just lazy. I’d much rather work and earn a good living than just depend on the government to give me everything. I don’t want to live in a cemetery so I’m going to work for the things that I want.
Like those 2 girls, I scavenge trash that I can redeem. It’s a lot of work…and it can pay if you put a lot of effort into it, but the reason why many people won’t do it because….you got to work, and lazy people don’t work.
Hi John – I know what you mean. I just don’t get it too why live in the city when you can have a pretty descent life in the province. If the parents works hard in the farm, have small garden and raised livestock and maintained it, they will be good for a long haul. Problem is the dad controls the family and he doesn’t want to work in the farm. So the family has to live in the small house and with so many problems when rain comes. Oh well, can’t really force them. I advice the wife before and it lead to trouble. So now I don’t say much just raise my eyebrow and say whatever. LOL
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Always good to see you here.
Have a great day!
Hi Feyma! Touching and sad story about those kids and the mother. Their life is difficult enough without the abuse piled on. I wonder if she wouldn’t be better off financially to take her girls and leave.
Very sad. They are blessed for having you and your family.
God Bless you all!
Bill
Hi Bill – Yep so touching and heartbreaking. To be honest I told the wife to just bring the kids to the province. But the wife was kind of offended when I said that. So I just didn’t say anything after that. I just told her to do what’s really in her heart. I guess her heart said to stay in the city and let the kids work (gather plastic bottles and card boards) and begged from people too.
Thanks for the nice comment Bill. Take care!
I may embarrass myself when I type this, but when reading the comments in regards to having children, I had that opportunity with the woman that I’m courting right now, but have not married yet. I decided not to do it because I was concerned with the financial responsibility, for the most part. Of course in addition to the fact that she’s in the Philippines and I’m back in the United States, so that would have made things much more difficult. Then I believe it was 6 months after our that meeting she tells me “Good thing we didn’t do that, because the baby would have probably been unhealthy as I’m working a lot of hours at work.”
I had some of these same questions when I first began visiting The Philippines. I was given several explanations. The poor, many of them don’t have any TV or other form of entertainment at their home or wherever they live so they lets just say make their own. Certain religion seems to frown on any kind of artificial birth control methods. Many have so little money even if they did want to use birth control they don’t have the money to pay for it. So what is a couple to do ?
It is such an unfortunate situation. Maybe some day things will change.
Hi Bob – Yep, you’re right the poor here don’t have much in the house.
That’s really the problem, most of the people that lives below the poverty line follow the Catholic religion and the church are so against the birth control. Well, some goes to the free clinic of the government and get free contraceptives. Like my laundry lady now, she’s been with her partner for almost 15 years. After her second child she did went through a tube ligation since she already had a C-section. She told me that she doesn’t want to have so many kids like her neighbors and they really struggles because husband had no job.
Yep like you i’m hoping that it will change for the better for the less fortunate people here too.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Always nice to see you here!
Mrs. Martin, all I can say is thank you for caring about the children. I know there are very many good people in the Philippines. I pity the children who suffers. Thank you for caring. Hay un lugar especial para la gente buena como usted. Paz. (There is a special place for good people like you. Peace.)
There is no real solution for some people. When some recommend them going back to the provinces, have to check the family situation there. May have already too many family members trying to survive on a small plot of land. Growing veg/rice is very marginal at best, add too many members and its unsustainable. So what to do but go to the big city and hope for the best.
Only long term solution is to build up the mfg base. Its starting to happen in the provinces around Manila as the problems in Thailand have given Philippines a small window of opportunity, but hampered by infrastructure (roads and power). Now its compounded by the port situation. One step forward, two back.