Live in the Philippines

Live in the Philippines helps expats with visas, moving and other services regarding the Philippines.

Through the years

Expats / by

There is a song by Kenny Rogers that was popular years ago, the song is called Through the Years.  That song is a favorite of Feyma’s, and I came to love that song through her.  Today, I’ve been thinking back through the past years since I’ve known Feyma, and some various thoughts have come to me which I thought I’d share with the LiP community.

Back in the late 80’s, the Philippines really held no special meaning to me.  I had never thought of visiting the Philippines.  The thought that I may one day marry a Filipina was the furthest thing from my mind.  I would live in the Philippines one day?  My friend, you must be crazy to say something like that.  Why would I ever live in the Philippines?  But, all of those things happened, and I’m glad that they did.

Since I was in elementary school, I had a fascination with far away places.  My passion for exotic places was satisfied through my interest in listening to shortwave radio.  I would tune in radio stations in places like the Philippines, Australia, China and on and on.  During my days of listening to shortwave radio, I tuned in stations from more than 150 different countries all around the world.  As I got a little older, when I was in High School I took my radio hobby to the next step and became an Amateur Radio Operator (also known as Ham Radio) in the late 70’s.  Now, with my Ham Radio license, I could talk to people all over the world, not just listen.

In 1987 or so, I made contact with a fellow named Valery Tuliyupin, another Ham Radio operator.  Val lived in Barnaul, Central Siberia in the Soviet Union.  Val was lucky for a Soviet citizen, he was able to communicate with the world via Ham Radio, and also he even made a trip to the United States in 1988.  I met Val in Los Angeles, and we had some pretty interesting conversations in the 2 days we spent together.  The next year, 1989, I decided that in 1990 I would take a trip to the USSR and visit Val and his family.  I couldn’t wait for the adventure.

However, as I prepared for my trip to meet Val, I met a girl, through the mail.  She was the friend of a friend, and we exchanged letters on a regular basis.  Her name was Feyma.  After an extended period of letter writing, my plans changed.  I no longer had the thirst to go to the Soviet Union and meet Val, instead the Philippines and one certain Filipina was calling me, although she did not know it.  So, I booked a trip to the Philippines.  In July 1990, I left the USA and touched down in Manila, later going on to Cebu, where Feyma was studying college.

Meeting Feyma was wonderful.  She had some cousins, and aunt and an uncle in Cebu, and I spent a few days with all of them before Feyma and I took off to go meet her parents in General Santos City, Mindanao.  While in Mindanao, we took the plunge and tied the knot.

Back in those days, Feyma was a very typical young Filipina (she was 21 at the time).  Very shy and demure.  A simple girl, leading a simple life, a family loving girl that seemed so wonderful to me.  I was right too, Feyma is indeed a wonderful person.  Feyma is still a wonderful person today, but much different than the girl that I married in 1990.  Today, Feyma, having lived in the States for a decade, is much more vocal, opinionated, etc.  Demure?  Ha ha, who are you kidding?  It’s OK, though, I love Feyma more today than that July morning in 1990 when we first laid eyes on each other.

Back in those days, Feyma was living a very simple life.  As I think back on it, I sometimes wonder what happened, and why is life so complicated now, compared to before.  It sure is, though.  Truth is, I don’t see that kind of simple life in many parts of the Philippines these days, not like it was 20+ years ago.  In ways that is good, in other ways it is bad.  But, it is what it is, and it won’t go back that way again, I can assure you of that.

Well, if you are still reading, you may have already guessed, or maybe not.  Today is Feyma’s birthday!  I do want to wish Feyma a very happy birthday.  I’m not going to tell you how old she is, but maybe she will.  I am pretty sure you can guess pretty close though.

My dear, it’s been a wonderful life with you so far.  I hope we have many more years to come.  You have been a great wife, even though I know that sometimes (probably most of the time) I have not been the easiest guy on the planet to deal with.  I am sorry for my shortcomings.  You can be sure of one thing, though, when it comes to loving you, I surely am not short on that, because you have my complete love.

Happy birthday, my love.  You have changed my life in so many ways, and I am grateful for every one of the ways you have changed me.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Bob
    Very nice words straight from the heart.
    Oddly enough Feyma and my Wife Linda share the same Birthday.
    “Happy Birthday Feyma” Rest assured I will never forget your Birthday.

    In a small way I support the town of Barnaul Russia.
    That town has a amunitions factory that makes “Bear Ammunition” the preferred ammunition for my 2 AK-47’s and I have spent way to much on ammo in the last few years.

    • HI Neal – what a coincidence on the birthdays of our two wives! 😆

      Maybe someday I’ll get to Barnaul! But, I’ve lost touch with my old friend Val.

  5. happy happy brithday Feyma and god bless to u i hope that old man off ur did give u a drink in bed today and some thing to eat too and it is to day he must do all the work so u can put ur feet up dont for get bob now will u…………peter martin tassie…lol

  8. Dear Feyma, Happy Birthday to you my dear!! you bring this Canadian guy sitting here much joy in your stories… hopefully a step closer in my dreams to visit, then PLAN. Congrad’s Bob well said!! your lucky man..

  9. Happy Birthday Feyma!!!!

    Quite a story and tribute to your partner and best friend!

    It’s funny how life goes…..5 years ago if you had said I would be living in the Philippines, and married to a filipina I would have said….you must be kidding.

    • Hi Greg – Life is funny how it takes it’s twists and turns. It sure is interesting how we end up in places and doing things that we would have never even considered just a short time ago. These are the things that make life interesting and enjoyable.

  10. Feyma,

    Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday.. Happy birthday.. Happy birthday to you.!! May you have more birthdays to come and enjoy life’s blessings…

  11. Happy Birthday feyma and many many more from me and jenny. Bob Well said, and straight from the heart. You are right on when you say that they are great people and so wonderful family people at that. i know my life has changed so very much meeting jenny, and now i am ready to take the big step to explore her world of the philippines. life always has plans that we dont know about but it is up to us to make the very best of it where ever our calling is and it is only as good as we make it. We hold the key to a very happy life. The very one thing i have learned from jenny is that having all the material things in the world could not replace the love and being with your partner that truely holds you at the front of everything in life. I thank jenny for opening my eyes to that. You know how us foreigners can be, work work work work thinking that keeping our family with everything is the key to everything, but sometimes it takes a special person to shine the light in our soul to guide us in the right way. Dont get me wrong, this is not to say anything bad about any culture or any person, its just my experience of my life. once again, great writing and wish you and feyma so much more happiness.
    hope to meet you and feyma one day when we make our move in march 2012.
    And thanks for all the advice on our questions and concerns.
    joey and jenny

  12. Spot on Sir Robert.
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEYMA 21 plus a few days . Maybe a romantic dinner this evening?

    • Hi Frank – Feyma and I are a little bit different. We like to do a romantic lunch (just got home from that), and spend the evening with the kids. 😉

      • Bob,

        Thanks so much for sharing with us your story of how you met Mrs Feyma. You and Mrs Feyma are really made for each other. Remember with age she gets better. My G/F’s birthday is friday. Wanted to send a cake to her. Your site is the only one that will send food to anyplace in the Philippines. All others just Metro Manila. She will be surprised when she receives it along with a bear. Thanks so much for saving me on this. Take care and hope you enjoyed the evening with your kids.

  14. A Very Happy Birthday to Feyma. She sounds so much like Jenny! Hope to see you in January Bob
    Best regards
    Malcolm

  15. Bob,
    Life and marriage both have their ups and downs and if we Love our Asawa’s how we will always over come it together and be stronger for it. Some times I too sit back and wonder how a young lady who was raised in a simple life could change a complex man for the better. But they do and were better for it.

    I can tell Bob’s words are from the heart your a lucky woman.
    Happy Birthday Feyma and many more to come!!!

  16. Bob, Happy Birthday to your lovely wife, Feyma. When you reach the 25 or 30 years of marriage, I think there’s always renewal of vows. Sweet!

  17. Hi Bob, thanks for the nice touching story and Happy birthday to Feyma. Thanks also for continuing to host the LIP, without having you met Feyma, we would have no LIP forum to participate in. Thank you.

    Mars

  18. Hello Everyone – My LIP family, thank you so much for the wonderful greetings. I am so grateful that you guys take the time to greet me on my birthday. I really appreciate that. God bless!

  19. @Bob – Hi Honey, thank you so much for writing our story. I’m really touched. Wow, imagined that I’m with you more than half of my life. I’m really happy to be your wife. I love you with all my heart then and until the end. I’m yours to keep Babe. 😉

    Love you lots my dear! Thanks again for always on my side. I’m always proud of you. I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

  21. What a beautiful, touching article. This is very much like my wife’s and my story, except we are taking a bit longer to get to the Philippines. If I deducted right, I think my wife is about the same age as Feyma and her birthday day is October 29th, which I received a subtle reminder about through my son tonight.
    When I was a kid I also liked to listen to the shortwave on my parent’s big console radio and I always imagined tropical places. Maybe too much Gilligan’s Island.
    Happy Birthday Feyma!

  22. Thanks Bob. I’ll pass on your wishes. I also like that Kenny Rogers song.
    My wife’s favorite… “I’ll never find another you” /the Seekers. Sometimes I think she means I’ll never find anyone as goofy as you.

  23. Hi Bob – I think many of your readers share your sentiments and although not planned found themselves in the same boat regarding visiting and marrying a Filipina.
    Like you Bob I have no regrets just wish I’d done it sooner but such is life.
    Incidentally I also held an amateur radio licence when I lived in Nigeria call sign 5N3SAC in fact I still have it to this day. My claim to fame was exchanging confirmation cards with King Hussein of Jordan who was an avid HAM in his day.
    Regards.
    Jim.

    • Hi Jim – What a coincidence… I also spoke with JY1, King Hussein back in the day. What a thrill that was. My original callsign was KA5DPO, and I later became N7JXN.

      Thanks for your comment, Jim.

  24. Hi Bob! Kenny Roger’s Through the Years is an opt song for this post. You are a lucky man to have found your other half, Feyma. And to think that you have reached more than 2 decades together, is a marriage feat. Bravo! Another song might fit the bill. A lot of Filipinos know this song, I’m sure your wife does too. The song is You Changed My Life In a Moment! 🙂

  26. Hi bob what a wonderfull way to remind yourself and each other of how you have both changed and grown and what your wife means to you ,to feyma a belated happy birthday i saw you on facebook but other things came up and i simply forgot so sorry , you are right bob things are changing everywhere i suppose it is inevetable how sometimes i yearn for a simpler life without the stress and worry of today it can only get worse as the years go on anyway again happy birthday feyma and to many mor for both of you
    chris

  27. “Huli man daw at magaling, naihahabol din” – Better late than never. Happy belated birthday to you, Feyma!