Here in the Philippines there is never much talk about space in relationships, unlike in the Western World, where it becomes a demand. How many times have you heard: “I need my space?” How much more space does your lady friend need? I was a merchant seaman gone for 4-6 months at a time, now I understand why I stayed single for 30 years. She needs space? Here is the rest of your life, go forth and enjoy it, I’m out the door!
I receive all the space I need, I can go and spend an afternoon with my friends, yes Mayang is with me as I’ve mentioned before we all bring our wives with us. One good reason is seldom do any of us guys have any cash in our pocket. We need someone to pay for our lunch and cocktails. The ladies might put us someplace to shoot the breeze and tell sailor stories while they go to the mall or to the parlor for hair or nails.
But once a week a situation occurs with regularity that I learned to not question or do anything to alter and that is “Tuesday Afternoons” No not the song by the Moody Blues but the real day. This is the day her weekly lottery tickets must be renewed and a trip to town is required. Be it noted that I never schedule anything for that day as I figured out a long time ago that this is her “Day of Space” Mayang has never mentioned it or requested it, and I’ve never questioned it. But on this day a sister or two will join her and an in town lunch with the ladies is planned, sometimes with batch mates from her High School days or Facebook friends. But whomever; it is her day for lunch, window shopping at the mall or real shopping if she wants.
What do I get out of this? Well she never comes home without a juicy Meat Plus double cheeseburger for me and a great temperament and a smile at having enjoyed her day out with family and friends. So she has her “SPACE” without ever demanding her space, or whining about how her life could have been. If western woman ever figure this out the divorce rate would plummet.
I had a lady in Florida tell me the only reason men marry Asian woman is we want meek subservient women. Any man reading this may jump in now and tell me how true that ain’t!!! Maybe the Asian woman can get their way using methods that are more effective than the whining complainer from Florida?
I was home on leave from the Navy in Dorchester MA. When a couple of things happen, Dotty a High School friend I dated, had wrote me a Dear John letter in Navy Boot Camp a couple of years before. (Which surprised me, as I didn’t realize that we were ever an item?) But she, like most American girls loved drama in their lives, and I was driving a Oldsmobile 88 Convertible and had money in my pocket. Whereas her current flame was unemployed and owned a MTA Bus Pass.
But the best part of the trip home was my Father borrowed my Convertible to impress his fellow workers and the 8-Track in the player was The Moody Blues and he became an instant fan and I went out and got him his own tapes and put an 8-track in his car.
TUESDAY AFTERNOON by THE MOODY BLUES–1969 , look it up on You Tube and give it a listen, it’s still a great song!
I think you hot the nail on the head, sir. The problem (I believe ) with western relationships is that people are more concerned if the other makes them happy almost at a moment by moment basis; instead of how happy they can make the other.
The best and greatest relationships I’ve been in (and best dates I may add) have been with asians. Maybe it’s because I’m in Los Angeles, the other sin city, that women are like this here but from what I’m told and read, it’s a Western thing that plagues our dating culture.
God bless Paul! Thanks for the post!
OpaoPhil ;
It’s not all Asians but most of them South America is good too., but I’ve seen Asian women (After hanging around with Western woman) turn into something I no longer want. The main problem is TV and romance novels that Western woman buy into as fact, then let the drama begin. (lol)
Let’s call a spade a spade. Western men are intimidated with western women. Look at the staggering divorce rate in America.
Cornell;
Western Woman never intimidated me after I starting sailing at age 18, hell I even foolishly married one for two years. (Thank God for 6-9 month cruises) I refused to deal with them and the petty stuff they wanted to hand out.
Hmmmm. Does bitching a lot and intimidation mean the same thing?
Dennis,
A combination of both.
Cornell;
I tried not to stick around long enough to really find out.
Dennis;
I’s say they were different, but both annoying and reason enough to slide on down the road.
Paul. Always like your articles; you’re a good writer.
Rob in Cebu
Rob;
Thank you, the trick is never try to be philological, just write about what you know or what happens to you everyday. Or as my Sainted Mother told me: “Paul stop for a minute and think about it, and you will find the humor in it.” It works for me!
To everyone turned off by Western women –
I can understand your frustrations about Western women, but let’s not generalize. They are not all that bad. Before I met my wife who is Palestinian, I dated only white Western women. But that’s because I’ve lived in the States since I was 15.
In all my relationship with every one of them, I couldn’t think of any single wart in their face that made them less attractive in my eyes. In fact, they were all sweet in every definition of the word.
John;
And yet you didn’t marry any of those Western woman! I dated hundreds of western woman both in the US and Europe, and stayed single for most of my waking life. I never said I’d not date them for a week or two. Then the ship sails. Oh joy!!!
To John Reyes…Your comments are very interesting. I agree that not all Western women are bad…but you never married a western woman! There must have been a reason for that…you met a better woman from another country NOT western.
I am convinced beyond a doubt, and so are my friends that have dated asian women, that they make the best gf’s and wives on average. Sure, there are some bad ones, but asian women just treat men differently.
As far as asian women being submissive…not a chance in hell. LOL. They will read you the riot act in a heart beat, but they do it differently. They have amazing ways of getting their point across without being the loud mouth yelling and screaming American women so many men are accustomed to.
And finally, not all asian cultures are the same. A filipina can easily be different than a woman from China, or Vietnam, or Japan. But the essence and core of who they are is very similar.
Once you go asian, it is HIGHLY unlikely you ever go back to a western woman.
Todd –
I let Paul’s comment slide about my marrying a Palestinian despite having dated white Western women exclusively since arriving in the States at 15 years of age. But since you repeated the question, here goes –
Short answer to your question. Fate, circumstance, and, most of all, LOVE, brought me and my Palestinian sweetheart together. It had nothing to do with how I viewed Western women.
My wife and I have been together as man and wife since July 27, 1970, the day we tied the knot at the Islamic Temple in Washington, D.C. I was 28, she, 23.
That’s 46 years of wonderful bliss. Our love for each other just gets stronger everyday. I draw your attention to my current Gravatar. It is the most recent picture of me and my wife taken during our visit to the Philippines in December 2015. The picture was taken on New Year’s eve 2015, at the Peninsula Hotel in Makati.
I hope that by looking at the picture, you can sense the deep love that flows between us after 46 years. It is as strong, if not stronger, as the day we first met. I would not trade my Palestinian wife for any other woman, period.
With that perfectly understood, my not marrying a Western woman despite having dated white Western women exclusively before I met my wife is hardly an indictment of Western women in general. My preference for white American girls and a special German fraulein is based entirely on my awesome experiences with them.
By luck, but mostly prudent choice, all the Western girls I dated in the States and in Germany have been nothing but a pleasure, literally and figuratively. These dates are not just one night stand, mind you, but relationships that lasted months and even years, in contrast to Paul’s “hundreds of Western woman in the U.S. and Europe” that included, no doubt, many one night stands at every port he visited.
Had I been left unhappy because of a bad relationship with any of the Western women I dated, I probably would not be here defending them. It’s that simple. When you have had pleasant experiences with a person, place or thing, you tend to generalize.
I also have never been married to a Western woman. I am pretty much aware that being married to one is not the same as dating one. Oftentimes in a married life, you wake up one morning and soon realize that the bitching woman in curlers sitting across from you at the breakfast table is not the same woman you dated.
This stunning discovery is a two-way street. I am almost positive that the feeling of revulsion is mutual. Many of you have been bashing your ex from a distance as if you were the perfect specimen of manhood, but how do you know she is just as happy to get rid of you? Just who are you to demand perfection when you are not exactly perfect? What you may not have realized is that in all probability you made her a mirror image of your slovenly self. Am I right or wrong?
If you like your Pnay, that’s fine. You don’t need to bad mouth the Western woman every chance you get. We all have our preferences.
I don’t bash Western women every chance I get…because if I did I would NEVER stop bashing them. I have a daughter, mother, three sisters, and many many western women friends. Asian women, on average, are FAR SUPERIOR.
It’s not close and that is not just me or a couple hundred of men saying this. This is thousands, hundreds of thousands, of men from all over the world saying this from all walks of life.
I even have many American women friends that admit that asian women (again on average) are better wives and gf’s than most American women they know…and these American women are talking about themselves and their daughters and friends! LOL.
I also have many many many friends married to western women…and I have many friends married to asian women.
My friends that are married to western women are miserable. Pure and simple. My friends that are with, or married to, filipinas or other asian women are all happier. Pure and simple.
And to get to another point you seemed to JUST MAKE UP. I never ever said I was perfect or any of my many friends married to filipinas were perfect. And I don’t bash my ex-wife. But when people so universally agree about the difference between asian women (especially filipinas) and western women you take notice….unless you are ignorant.
I congratulate you on your marriage. It is always great to find the right woman, but I and many others have no doubt it is much easier to find a great woman in an asian country.
There are great women from EVERY country, but once you go filipina (or asian) you RARELY go back to a western woman. In fact I do not know of one person that has been with a filipina that has then gone back to a western woman, even if that filipina was not good according to my standards. I am sure it has happened, but I and my THOUSANDS of friends have never seen it happen.
Don’t take it personally. I was speaking in a generic way, but if the shoe fits, wear it. If not, don’t worry then. Furthermore, in defending Western women, I didn’t have to bash Asian women or whatever, like most of you do, to make my point.
In case you haven’t noticed, I have not compared Western women with Asian women at all, simply because I have never gone out with an Asian woman. I have no idea what they are like as girl friends or wives. But with all things being equal, if you put a Pinay and a white American girl side by side in front of me, I will choose the American girl nine times out of ten. But then again, it’s because I am more familiar with them.
I am not saying Pinays are no good; in fact, I believe that many of them make good wives. I believe they are the kind of women who will stay with you “till death do us part” – the perfect partner especially for the Western man who have been burned by their abusive, unfaithful Western wives.
I have stated my preference for the Western woman based on my personal experience, but not at the expense of Asian women
You like Pinays, let’s leave it at that.
Hi John,
Well said. I have found Asian women attractive since high school. I simply and honestly like the jet black long straight hair, brown eyes, short stature and petiteness. My preference is superficial. It has nothing to do with personality. I have been attracted to and dated non-Asian women, but always short in stature and petite in build. I am not attracted to tall Asian ladies. I am not sure if the Asian women I dated would be considered Asian or Western since they all lived in the USA when I dated them. Don’t think it really matters.
On your wife, I am not sure if she would be considered Western or not as it seems to depend on how long the lady is in a Western country for those who care, which I don’t think is you or I. If I remember correctly you met your wife in Washington, DC not Palestine.
As you said basically, I am happy with my wife. You are happy with your wife. Why do some feel the need to categorize and compare women. I don’t get it.
Third time is a charm I am truly done commenting on this article unless someone brings up something new that I feel compelled to respond to.
Peace
Jay
Hi Jay –
You are correct. I met my wife in Washington, D.C.
To answer your implied question, my wife is Americanized in her ways and thinking, having lived in the USA since 1967.
The American influence can be attributed to her having raised a family in a Western culture. She doesn’t wear hijab, but her values are heavily Middle Eastern, which are similar in some ways to Asian values.
To an observer, we are just your typical, average American family. Neither Filipino, nor Arab.
Todd;
My point once more is I am happy with the woman I married, and BTW she is happy being married to me. I remember an American woman in California I picked up for a date. She looked at my car which was a few years old but looked and ran well and said; “Is that what you drive?| with distain in her voice. I explained that we could take her car if she felt more comfortable, her car was 10 years older than mine. I left her there and met a nice lady later at the Westerner club in National City.
John Reyes:
Whoa, whoa, whoa I believe that was someone else’s comment you are letting slide as I never said that!!!!
LOL Paul, my bad then. Sorry. 🙂
John;
I like to give credit where credit is due! (lol)
John Reyes:
Whoa, whoa, whoa I beleve that was someone else’s comment you are lettng slde as I never sad that!!!!
I love your comment that we have to bring our wives, because we never have any money in our pockets. I thought I was the only one!
I love spending time with my wife. She is my best friend, and far from subservient.
Great article Paul!
Jason;
90% of my friends are the same way no Para in the pocket. We all know who our real best friends are and it’s not just the guys at the table. Respect for the ladies is our prime directive.
..”It’s not all Asians but most of them South America is good too.” T^hank you, Mr. Paul T. 🙂
Jose;
Fair is fair!
Right on, was wondering why you were unavailable on Tuesday. I thought you were sucking down a few SMB’s and recovering from the work load of publishing the day before. Now I know different, or at least there is an added reason.
Loren;
I called you and you said you had a cold! Tommy and I had lunch and cocktails at Dempsey’s last Wednesday. This Wednesday I will be there for lunch again….. Will you? (LOL)
Hi Paul, I think you were happy that ship came along so you could escape lol,
Been married to a western women dated a few yes there’s good and bad,
But I prefer Asian women ,is my wife subservient lol she soon puts me in my place
If I try anything, moody blues great band , I’ve got a few hundred pesos in my pocket
And that’s all I need if I can buy a beer I’m happy, Derek in pasig.
Derek;
Ship’s have been my excuse (And salvation) my whole life, oh honey we’re sailing……(Whenever) I’ve called the company during vacation an requested a ship so I could blow town in the states.
Two hundred pesos??? I dream about that much money in my pocket!
Right, my wife is not the least bit subservient, and anyone that thinks that is why I married Katleen need to think again. My wife is a strong willed lady, smarter than I am and I know it. She is my friend and my love as well as my protector. She is that and so much more. And she never wines about space, nor why, and she is always there for me. I love My Katleen with all my heart because she makes me whole. Together we are complete.
Luke;
after all these decades I’ve not met a subservient Piney yet, do they exist?
We stay because they make us happy, in all the ways you listed plus more!
Paul, you hit the nail on the head. I have been around filipinas for quite awhile now and have many friends married to filipinas…haven’t met a submissive one yet.
We love them because they go out of their way to make sure we are happy before they even think about themselves. That is not submissive. In American culture the women will take good care of the man ONLY when she thinks her needs are taken care of FIRST. It is just different in asian culture.
Todd;
A Guy in Florida was BBQing and turned to his wife while cooking and Said; “Honey, I need….” She started crying and said; “But what about my needs???”
Interesting…my wifes name is Kathleen too and she too is very strong willed, and very smart…
Ortega Mark;
Strong willed and smart, that sounds about normal in the Philippines! (lol)
My wife is Katleen no H
Luke;
I lived with a girl in Puerto Rico named Kathaleen. Who knew all the different spellings?
Luke Tynan okay, Captain Obvious…
Rusty;
Play nice!
I was lucky..Found a girl when she was 14 1/2 and I was 17…we were together till she was 17 and then we married..Ran Off..because her parents tried to break us up…But afterwards everyone my family and hers….came to be very close and loving…We were together 35 years and had 10 children never thought that would happen !!! Anyway lost her to cancer 12 years ago.. Again got lucky met my Filipina girl and knew almost instantly she was the replacement …..I can only say this I have been around Latino’s…..Lived with them for years … in East Los Angeles … grew up there… and I love them their culture and there food…But the Filipino’s have an edge. I believe ..I should say … I Know …they do..(in my way of thinking)…… it’s because the way they are raised. To me its like going back to when grandma was alive…The simplicity of life here is grand and I could never go back home to the U. S……. and be as happy as I am here…
Lenny;
I lived in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica, so I have a different view of Hispanics. I’m sorry to hear about your first wife which proves there will always be exceptions to all situations.
After all my time out of the US, my vote is for the Philippines.
Yummy and No drama sweeeeeettttt
Michael;
There is no drama on the mountain in Bataan. Well Emon up the street had a hell of a fight with his wife Friday night!
Subservient? You’ve got to be joking!! Unconditional love? Yes sir it is so!!
June;
You might have missed where I wrote: We want meek subservient women? Any man reading this may jump in now and tell me how true that ain’t!!! (Or how true that is NOT!) (lol)
Western women are highly sophisticated, and they speak their mind.
Cornell;
If that is sophistication, I’ll give that a pass. They can speak their mind to a mirror, for I won’t be there to hear it.
Ah yes, the old under the dash 8 track in the car. Seems like just about everyone had one sooner or later. Tape jams, wrecked cartridges and look at what we have today with the USB Flash Drives. Many of my treasured 45’s that I put on 8 tracks back then are now playing in my car from a flash drive and I think you do the same. Keep playing the good stuff Paul LOL.
Bob (NY)
I put a thousand songs on a thumb drive, hit random and switch it out in two months. I have no idea if my radio even works.
I am not far behind you with 947 songs on a thumb drive. An ultimate intermix of sources from 78, 45, 33, tape, internet, and would you believe even some from 16 & 2/3 ? although I do spend some of my car listening to an all news radio station.
Bob;
I’m a solid music no ad’s and news free kind of guy, but I will turn the volume down if I’m lost!
Paul,
Anne was raised to be independent and that she is. Not afraid to speak her mind to no matter who it is to. Sometimes she embarrasses me and i just want to hide lol. But all in all would never want to be with anyone else and no one else has even come close to her. Got very lucky when i found her. Only money i carry is to pay all the bills or buy groceries.
PapaDuck;
Wow you carry money! What’s that like? (lol) I stopped bringing my money clip years ago. An straight talking partner is a good thing.
Now when I say what I say it is only based on living and knowing the U.S. culture and the Philippines culture. I have not lived anywhere else in the world.
For one I am not sure where the “Asian woman is subservient” comes from, it defiantly is not in the least bit of the norm of Filipinas. Is it a Chinese, Japanese “thing,” I am not sure. Or maybe it’s just an old wise tale. I have been married to Jenelyn for 7 years now and she is far from subservient. Does she try to avoid confrontation, hell yes, most Filipinas do, that is how most of them are raised. It isn’t “ladylike to be confrontational. But yet, she is still strong willed and damn well will let me know her view, desire or whatever word you want to insert here. This leads to a relationship where we can come to compromises instead of heated arguments. I think someone else said it already, but drama seems to be the way in a lot of American relationships.
One other thing is, America is a throwaway society. Look at the goods that most large chain stores sell today. Walmart, Target etc … all those items are meant to be cheap short term items. Society in the U.S. as a whole on a macro level is the same way, including relationships. It’s easy to get pissed, walk away, file the divorce papers and be on your merry way. Do You want to get a divorce in the Philippines? Ha, quite a bit tougher, society ( well the church more or less ) doesn’t make it so easy or acceptable there, which in my mind is what drew me to marrying a Filipina and why I love her culture so much.
In the end, my wife won’t give up on me, and I won’t give up on her, it’s a cultural thing you don’t see as common in the western world today. Sorry this comment got way-way longer than I intended lol
Oh, I was going to also comment on the no money thing as well. I actually carry an empty wallet with 2 buttons to close it and a chain attached to it as well. And it almost always has no money in it lol …. I chuckled when I read that part, so I wanted to add that as well.
James;
I carry a small ID folder to prove who I am. I’ve not had a wallet in my pocked in the Philippines, well ever! I do also carry a money clip, but I really don’t know why.
The no wallet goes to leaving ship’s in countries where it will get gone, so ID only.
James;
“Asian woman is subservient” never crossed my lips or keyboard. (LOL) as I know better. My friends and I have a gauge; If the ladies have one foot tapping, Stand by for heavy rolls, you are entering a cat 5 storm area. If both feet are tapping; dear lord, man the lifeboats the ship is lost!
Oh, defiantly I was more or less referencing to those who seem to stigmatize that “Asian women are subservient,” which probably is not any of us who are married to a Filipina that’s for sure. I LOL’d hard at your both feet a tapping comment … hadn’t heard that one before 🙂
James;
And I pray to never hear the sound of tapping feet again. Fred Astaire movies cause me to tremble in fear.
I must be an exception because I have never asked for ‘space’. Being best friends has come up in the comments and perhaps that is the clue. We have been together for over 40 years and still good mates in spite of artistic temperaments or do I mean temper lol. I am lucky to have two daughters-in-law who are Philippinas.
Marjorie;
We were never referring to any Lovely British Ladies. I thought everyone knew that! (LOL)
Lol
The woman from Florida has been out in the sun too long.could not be farther from the truth.
Jeff Balog;
Thank God the Philippines has no sun! (LOL)
Asian…….. Western……… Generalizations in either direction will get you in trouble. I wasn’t looking for one or the other. I was looking for a farm girl who would be happy living in the countryside. A strong and intelligent woman who could hold the family together while I was not there, potentially for long periods of time. That woman happened to be Filipina.
We’ve had knock down drag out fights because both of us are strong willed and stubborn. After over 30 years, we’ve both leaned to bend a bit. And it works.
On the space thing. I also get dropped off while she does her shopping with the ladies in the city. Museums and such are my preference.
Take care,
Pete
Pate;
Asian…….. Western……… Generalizations in either direction will get you in trouble. So Pere, how many Western women did meet you specifications for a life partner? (LOL)
Actually, I met several good candidates while I was on the amateur rodeo circuit. But I wasn’t in a marrying mood at the time.
The one American I did marry was a mistake I chalk up to inexperience on my part. I believed her when she said she wanted to live on a farm. She didn’t. She also flunked the responsibility part. We parted amicably, but she had to leave Texas in a hurry. Judges there take a dim view of folks who habitually write bad checks. I didn’t have to lie when I told the cops I didn’t know where she went.
Pete;
Married to a Kano for a very short time while young and dumb in my early 20’s (A check kilter too) Stayed single until my 50’s, not looking but having fun.
Hi Paul.
I agree with John and Pete on the stereotyping of western women. There are wonderful western women and there are horrible Asian women. People are individuals. I have read comments from guys who travel to the Philippines and go straight to whore houses and they say all Filipinas are whores based on their experience. I guess you and some of the other commenters have had some bad experiences with western women. I have on occasion read comments from men who have had bad experiences with Filipinas and they feel the same way about Filipinas as you feel about western women. I have read a lot of incorrect in my opinion stereotypes of Filipinas.
There are cultural tendencies like being non-confrontational, which I find common in both Filipino men and women, but there are exceptions to that as well.
Peace
Jay
Jay;
Your statement “I have read comments from guys who travel to the Philippines and go straight to whore houses and they say all Filipinas are whores based on their experience.” And there you go stereotyping western men! I have no idea what website you read that on, as I have never heard it before. But yes not all western women are bad, but it seems odd that 99.9 present of us are not married or dating Western women. My I do find that so very odd!!!
And yes I’ve heard some people denigrate Asian woman, but never one who lived in Asia or were married to one. As I told you on Jason’s page, I have dated hundreds of western woman, and found them lacking. But of course there must by the sheer volume of them be some good ones. I just didn’t find my life’s partner until I came here. Remember I’d been coming here for years on ships before that.
Hi Paul,
We are on a web site called Live in the Philippines. If we were on a web site called Live in Chile maybe 99.9% of us would be with South American women. Just pointing out the obvious. I am not attacking you just defending western women. I am done.
Peace
Jay
Jay;
I requested information as to where you read about western men calling Filipina’s whores? Stay calm no one mentioned South American web sites.
Hi Paul,
My point is that this site has a bias toward Asian women, because it is about people from other countries coming to live or in my case visit my wife’s family. The men on this site have in large part come to the Philippines because of a relationship with an Asian woman.
I do not recall where I saw the specific comments I mentioned, but I think you remember a gentleman on this site that could not accept that other men’s Filipina wives did not spend all their husband’s money and were not verbally abusive to their husbands.
I did not want to go to this point, but if you dated hundreds of western women, while also spending a great deal of time at sea it is not surprising you did not meet quality western women. A lot of women do not want a relationship with a man who will be gone for months out to sea and is a playboy. I have a great deal of respect for the fact that you served to protect our country, but I can understand a quality western woman not being interested.
We both have wonderful wives now who happen to be Filipinas. I don’t get the need to put down western women. I have many members of my family including my deceased mother who are/ were great wives for somebody.
I have said all I want to say.
Jay
Jay???
This site has a bias towards Asian woman; if you were not married to a Filipina would you be reading this site?
Of course I’m bias towards Asian woman, if I wasn’t I’d be making one hell of a mistake in my life wouldn’t I?
You stated to John that you’ve been attracted towards Asian woman since you were young, and are married to one now. Jay that makes you bias towards Asian women doesn’t it???
Hello Jay.
“There are cultural tendencies like being non-confrontational, which I find common in both Filipino men and women, but there are exceptions to that as well.”
My wife is one of those exceptions. She has one of those “type A” personalities, and she didn’t pick it up in Europe or the US. Listening to the old family stories, she’s been that way since childhood. Constantly in trouble from going against the cultural grain.
I’ve actually been worried about how she will fare in retirement. But she already has several projects lined up to keep her busy. She complains that I am “more Filipino than a Filipino”. After running in the rat race, I’m looking forward to some bahala na.
Hi Pete,
My wife and I back each other publicly whether we agree or disagree with each other and talk about it later. We don’t argue in public.
Peace
Jay
Hi Paul
I was going to comment but this topic is seems to have raised a few blood pressures.
Instead I shall pay homage to you by sitting out on my balcony in Singapore after work and opening an ice cold SMB or two!
Tagay
AJ UK
AJ UK
I spent time at the pier in Singapore, my favorite place in Asia.
Hi Paul, I wonder if Cornell lives in tagaytay lol, that’s it I’m going to have a beer.
Derek in pasig.
Derek;
Quite a few seem to be from Tagaytay, it must be wonderful there!
Paul,
Your writer’s introduction following each article you write declares your content to be “Tongue In Cheek”. I realize that and got a few chuckles from your comments on space and Tuesday afternoons.
I also think a few of the replies and rejoinders were likewise not intended to be serious. For instance, Western men intimidated by Western women; and the plague that accrues to western dating culture, or that Asian women can be turned-out by Western women victimized by TV and romance novels.
No warts on Western women was subtle humor to the max, and very nearly matched by implications that women from particular locales make better mates. I love that tongue-in-cheek stuff.
Partially tongue-in-cheek: I’ve been married to a Fil-Am for 30 years. We achieve “space” by working around our cultural and personal differences. I don’t do mahjong wakes and she doesn’t do expat get-togethers where wives sit apart from their spouses as they exchange marriage damaging gossip and count the number of pensions coming into their mailboxes. She lunches with her (rich-ass) sister and does sorority stuff while I gather my crew for streaming football, baseball, hockey, doing beer, etc. We both carry sufficiently funded wallets, though she prefers to come to me concerning managing the money. It works. She’s a social butterfly and I’m reasonably amiable recluse who enjoys binging on two or three episodes of House of Cards. After 30 years, we’re self-sufficient but always willing to engage and have the fights that ensure we maintain the ties that bind.
Moving away from Paul. Guys: If you’re married to a Filipina and living in the Philippines. Be ambidextrous, treat her right, demand equal time, declare her sufficient or better and stop trying to justify/explain your decision to be with a Filipina. It degrades your partner.
Mindanao Bob previously granted me permission to post a link to my website. I’ve neglected it for some time now, but participation will encourage me to become active. http://philippineexpatreality.com/trpe/
Oscar Smith;
Here is the difference, I never said that any woman from country makes a better wife or life partner What I said was for me I have no desire for a Western type woman What other people do is their business
I did not understand you’re married to a Fil-Am, did you meet her in America? Yesterday, myself and 3 couples met in a Mexican Food place in Olongapo, all 4 of our wives walked across the street to Kong’s Restaurant to eat Filipino fare. We all met back where the guys were and as a group joked and laughed and then the 4 ladies paid.
People can live anyway they want, and I never tell them that mine is the best way, I demand the same from them.
Hi all, Was reading all the comments, I was married to a western women, Tried for years to make it work, nothing but complaining and always expected more like past comments about romance novels that was my life, I got lucky she wanted greener grass and divorced me, it cost me half of everything but I thank her now for setting me free, I have a beautiful wife from the Philippines, we have three sons together, a house outside of Butuann city ,we have been together thirteen years,seems like yesterday. And Paul ,I agree with your comment about the alone time, For us that means spending time with her four sisters LOL!! Also not submissive at all! Enjoyed reading all the comments.We currently live in the USA in Michigan, we plan on moving to Butuann in five years.
Roger;
Did you see how much flak I caught for this article? But you understand what I’m talking about. Get home soon!!!
Paul,
You’re apparently upset. In my “tongue-in-cheek” way I called attention to your idea that American women passed soap opera ideals to Filipinas. My other comments addressed irrelevant responding comments.
What exactly did I write to make you lose your tongue-in-cheek good humor?
Oscar;
I apologies if you thought I was angry, as I kinda was but not at what you said but at some of the other comments (As you aptly pointed out) I had lost control of the thread (100% my fault) and it seemed like it was becoming a Western Asian bitching contest over which is better. The story was how my wife found a way to have some space on her own without me being involved. Where I went wrong was when I brought up examples from the past that did involve Western Woman. So once more I was not coming after you, albeit in hindsight I can understand your point. I think a cold Pilsners is in order!!! (LOL) Mia Culpa.
Nice one Paul??made me laugh so hard.
Derek in pasig.
Derek;
I’m just doing my job.
Hi Paul,
Over the past couple of years I seen this this site has lost many contributors due to insensitive and unnecessary posts and comments.that generalize and only serve to cause hurt and deride people. A bad two year marriage that happened almost fifty years ago can’t possibly be the root of all this negative energy.
Why can’t people celebrate their good fortune of funding a good man or woman for a mate, and leave it at that? What does bashing any person or group serve any of us?
Does anger, ranting or derision only serve to drive comments to the site?
Not worth it I would think.
Queenie
Queenie;
The article was about space that my wife enjoys, not about the good or bad of Western women, please don’t blame me for the direction it wandered off on.
Yes I mentioned a couple of examples from my life, but still I never compared Western to Asian. But I did states my reasons as to why I choose to live here. I’m sorry if it offended you or anyone else, for that was never my intension.
Hi Paul,
I am OK with you. I hope you are OK with me. I agree that the article was not about what the disagreement was about. The comments meandered into something else. Anyway I hope we can move on.. I intend on it anyway.
Peace
Jay
Jay;
Consider it done, you are right the comments wandered far afield of the article which they often do. I’ll remain responsible for all I say , but not for what others say. BTW We are good and were never bad!
Hi Paul,
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that the situation with you and Mayang is not a about a romantic space that you referred to. I think that many times we all, men or women get a chance to “recharge our batteries” by doing something like pursuing a hobby alone, or getting out with family or friends for a temporary change of scene once in a while or on a scheduled basis. A young mother or father might need to get away sometimes for the same reason too.
When Western men get together as couples here in the Philippines, men and women often tend to separate into groups I guess for many different varied reasons that are pleasant for them.
For myself as a woman, I like mens’ company for the most part, and prefer socializing in a mixed group with men and women, here and back in the States.
Apology accepted–being the American woman self-appointed spokesperson and defender here on LIP, I might tend to defend western women as a group sometimes, as there are not that many of us here:)
I just wish that men who have been burned by a particular woman or women in the past don’t tirelessly search for an excuse here to glorify one group of women over another, and bash in turn another particular group.
Being a human being in general is not easy, as we all have our own failures and weaknesses, It would be good for all of us I think to be mindful that there are all kinds of people who read these articles and comments. If anybody doesn’t want to intentionally hurt or offend, we might want to be more mindful of how we word statements, when making a point or observation about a post.
If a person does want to do that, I’m not sure if this is the right arena to successfully attempt that.
Just my two cents.
Queenie
Queenie;
Thank you, Mayang over the years has come to enjoy her lunch and afternoon with her sisters and or female friends as I stay home and watch over the house and dog army. This was never discussed between or has the subject even been raised by either of us. It has slowly and naturally morphed into her afternoon as the rest of the week we are together 24-7. Last night we were at By-The-Sea resort with three other couples all at the same table with the ladies lapsing into Tagalog while the four men all being American and former Navy or seamen were speaking in English. We still interact as a group but we find the ladies show little interest in our conversation about shipboard life.
Remembering your comment I asked them for an opinion on the subject and one lady smiled and said; “We just got out for a great meal, our husbands are within our line of sight and we are quite contented as we enjoy talking Tagalog after a day of speaking English with you guys.”
So I guess that is what works for us, but maybe not for everyone.