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Another good day
Here in the Philippines there is never much talk about space in relationships, unlike in the Western World, where it becomes a demand. How many times have you heard: “I need my space?” How much more space does your lady friend need? I was a merchant seaman gone for 4-6 months at a time, now I understand why I stayed single for 30 years. She needs space? Here is the rest of your life, go forth and enjoy it, I’m out the door!
I receive all the space I need, I can go and spend an afternoon with my friends, yes Mayang is with me as I’ve mentioned before we all bring our wives with us. One good reason is seldom do any of us guys have any cash in our pocket. We need someone to pay for our lunch and cocktails. The ladies might put us someplace to shoot the breeze and tell sailor stories while they go to the mall or to the parlor for hair or nails.
But once a week a situation occurs with regularity that I learned to not question or do anything to alter and that is “Tuesday Afternoons” No not the song by the Moody Blues but the real day. This is the day her weekly lottery tickets must be renewed and a trip to town is required. Be it noted that I never schedule anything for that day as I figured out a long time ago that this is her “Day of Space” Mayang has never mentioned it or requested it, and I’ve never questioned it. But on this day a sister or two will join her and an in town lunch with the ladies is planned, sometimes with batch mates from her High School days or Facebook friends. But whomever; it is her day for lunch, window shopping at the mall or real shopping if she wants.
What do I get out of this? Well she never comes home without a juicy Meat Plus double cheeseburger for me and a great temperament and a smile at having enjoyed her day out with family and friends. So she has her “SPACE” without ever demanding her space, or whining about how her life could have been. If western woman ever figure this out the divorce rate would plummet.
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- Moody Blues
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- Coco Lime on Subic
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- Happy Tuesday
I had a lady in Florida tell me the only reason men marry Asian woman is we want meek subservient women. Any man reading this may jump in now and tell me how true that ain’t!!! Maybe the Asian woman can get their way using methods that are more effective than the whining complainer from Florida?
I was home on leave from the Navy in Dorchester MA. When a couple of things happen, Dotty a High School friend I dated, had wrote me a Dear John letter in Navy Boot Camp a couple of years before. (Which surprised me, as I didn’t realize that we were ever an item?) But she, like most American girls loved drama in their lives, and I was driving a Oldsmobile 88 Convertible and had money in my pocket. Whereas her current flame was unemployed and owned a MTA Bus Pass.
But the best part of the trip home was my Father borrowed my Convertible to impress his fellow workers and the 8-Track in the player was The Moody Blues and he became an instant fan and I went out and got him his own tapes and put an 8-track in his car.
TUESDAY AFTERNOON by THE MOODY BLUES–1969 , look it up on You Tube and give it a listen, it’s still a great song!
I think you hot the nail on the head, sir. The problem (I believe ) with western relationships is that people are more concerned if the other makes them happy almost at a moment by moment basis; instead of how happy they can make the other. The best and greatest relationships I’ve been in (and best dates I may add) have been with asians. Maybe it’s because I’m in Los Angeles, the other sin city, that women are like this here but from what I’m told and read, it’s a Western thing that plagues our dating culture. God bless Paul!… Read more »
OpaoPhil ;
It’s not all Asians but most of them South America is good too., but I’ve seen Asian women (After hanging around with Western woman) turn into something I no longer want. The main problem is TV and romance novels that Western woman buy into as fact, then let the drama begin. (lol)
Let’s call a spade a spade. Western men are intimidated with western women. Look at the staggering divorce rate in America.
Cornell;
Western Woman never intimidated me after I starting sailing at age 18, hell I even foolishly married one for two years. (Thank God for 6-9 month cruises) I refused to deal with them and the petty stuff they wanted to hand out.
Hmmmm. Does bitching a lot and intimidation mean the same thing?
Dennis,
A combination of both.
Cornell;
I tried not to stick around long enough to really find out.
Dennis;
I’s say they were different, but both annoying and reason enough to slide on down the road.
Paul. Always like your articles; you’re a good writer.
Rob in Cebu
Rob;
Thank you, the trick is never try to be philological, just write about what you know or what happens to you everyday. Or as my Sainted Mother told me: “Paul stop for a minute and think about it, and you will find the humor in it.” It works for me!
To everyone turned off by Western women –
I can understand your frustrations about Western women, but let’s not generalize. They are not all that bad. Before I met my wife who is Palestinian, I dated only white Western women. But that’s because I’ve lived in the States since I was 15.
In all my relationship with every one of them, I couldn’t think of any single wart in their face that made them less attractive in my eyes. In fact, they were all sweet in every definition of the word.
John;
And yet you didn’t marry any of those Western woman! I dated hundreds of western woman both in the US and Europe, and stayed single for most of my waking life. I never said I’d not date them for a week or two. Then the ship sails. Oh joy!!!
To John Reyes…Your comments are very interesting. I agree that not all Western women are bad…but you never married a western woman! There must have been a reason for that…you met a better woman from another country NOT western. I am convinced beyond a doubt, and so are my friends that have dated asian women, that they make the best gf’s and wives on average. Sure, there are some bad ones, but asian women just treat men differently. As far as asian women being submissive…not a chance in hell. LOL. They will read you the riot act in a heart… Read more »
Todd – I let Paul’s comment slide about my marrying a Palestinian despite having dated white Western women exclusively since arriving in the States at 15 years of age. But since you repeated the question, here goes – Short answer to your question. Fate, circumstance, and, most of all, LOVE, brought me and my Palestinian sweetheart together. It had nothing to do with how I viewed Western women. My wife and I have been together as man and wife since July 27, 1970, the day we tied the knot at the Islamic Temple in Washington, D.C. I was 28, she,… Read more »
I don’t bash Western women every chance I get…because if I did I would NEVER stop bashing them. I have a daughter, mother, three sisters, and many many western women friends. Asian women, on average, are FAR SUPERIOR. It’s not close and that is not just me or a couple hundred of men saying this. This is thousands, hundreds of thousands, of men from all over the world saying this from all walks of life. I even have many American women friends that admit that asian women (again on average) are better wives and gf’s than most American women they… Read more »
Don’t take it personally. I was speaking in a generic way, but if the shoe fits, wear it. If not, don’t worry then. Furthermore, in defending Western women, I didn’t have to bash Asian women or whatever, like most of you do, to make my point. In case you haven’t noticed, I have not compared Western women with Asian women at all, simply because I have never gone out with an Asian woman. I have no idea what they are like as girl friends or wives. But with all things being equal, if you put a Pinay and a white… Read more »
Hi John, Well said. I have found Asian women attractive since high school. I simply and honestly like the jet black long straight hair, brown eyes, short stature and petiteness. My preference is superficial. It has nothing to do with personality. I have been attracted to and dated non-Asian women, but always short in stature and petite in build. I am not attracted to tall Asian ladies. I am not sure if the Asian women I dated would be considered Asian or Western since they all lived in the USA when I dated them. Don’t think it really matters. On… Read more »
Hi Jay –
You are correct. I met my wife in Washington, D.C.
To answer your implied question, my wife is Americanized in her ways and thinking, having lived in the USA since 1967.
The American influence can be attributed to her having raised a family in a Western culture. She doesn’t wear hijab, but her values are heavily Middle Eastern, which are similar in some ways to Asian values.
To an observer, we are just your typical, average American family. Neither Filipino, nor Arab.
Todd; My point once more is I am happy with the woman I married, and BTW she is happy being married to me. I remember an American woman in California I picked up for a date. She looked at my car which was a few years old but looked and ran well and said; “Is that what you drive?| with distain in her voice. I explained that we could take her car if she felt more comfortable, her car was 10 years older than mine. I left her there and met a nice lady later at the Westerner club in… Read more »
John Reyes:
Whoa, whoa, whoa I believe that was someone else’s comment you are letting slide as I never said that!!!!
LOL Paul, my bad then. Sorry. 🙂
John;
I like to give credit where credit is due! (lol)
John Reyes:
Whoa, whoa, whoa I beleve that was someone else’s comment you are lettng slde as I never sad that!!!!
I love your comment that we have to bring our wives, because we never have any money in our pockets. I thought I was the only one!
I love spending time with my wife. She is my best friend, and far from subservient.
Great article Paul!
Jason;
90% of my friends are the same way no Para in the pocket. We all know who our real best friends are and it’s not just the guys at the table. Respect for the ladies is our prime directive.
..”It’s not all Asians but most of them South America is good too.” T^hank you, Mr. Paul T. 🙂
Jose;
Fair is fair!
Right on, was wondering why you were unavailable on Tuesday. I thought you were sucking down a few SMB’s and recovering from the work load of publishing the day before. Now I know different, or at least there is an added reason.
Loren;
I called you and you said you had a cold! Tommy and I had lunch and cocktails at Dempsey’s last Wednesday. This Wednesday I will be there for lunch again….. Will you? (LOL)
Hi Paul, I think you were happy that ship came along so you could escape lol,
Been married to a western women dated a few yes there’s good and bad,
But I prefer Asian women ,is my wife subservient lol she soon puts me in my place
If I try anything, moody blues great band , I’ve got a few hundred pesos in my pocket
And that’s all I need if I can buy a beer I’m happy, Derek in pasig.
Derek;
Ship’s have been my excuse (And salvation) my whole life, oh honey we’re sailing……(Whenever) I’ve called the company during vacation an requested a ship so I could blow town in the states.
Two hundred pesos??? I dream about that much money in my pocket!
I was lucky..Found a girl when she was 14 1/2 and I was 17…we were together till she was 17 and then we married..Ran Off..because her parents tried to break us up…But afterwards everyone my family and hers….came to be very close and loving…We were together 35 years and had 10 children never thought that would happen !!! Anyway lost her to cancer 12 years ago.. Again got lucky met my Filipina girl and knew almost instantly she was the replacement …..I can only say this I have been around Latino’s…..Lived with them for years … in East Los Angeles… Read more »
Lenny;
I lived in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica, so I have a different view of Hispanics. I’m sorry to hear about your first wife which proves there will always be exceptions to all situations.
After all my time out of the US, my vote is for the Philippines.