This is a situation that pops up more times than I want it to. I had made plans to go to the Barrio here in Olongapo City with my friend Loren and his wife Mercer, (Mercy) I first asked the mighty Mayang which day would she prefer Saturday or Sunday. She picked Saturday, I called Loren to invite him and he also was happy with Saturday. You would now think that Saturday would be the day we would go to Sit-in-Bull restaurant and bar and partake of one of my favorite meals. This is Turkey and mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and corn on the cob. Mmmm good!
So Saturday morning I’m washing the new old Honda and preparing for my pleasant day of good friends, good food and cocktails and an afternoon of bar hopping. I had just turned on the hose to spray the car when I noticed that I was getting more water on me than on the car, as I looked down I found three holes in the hose that were spraying me. I stopped what I was doing and cut out the five foot bad section of hose and moved the fittings onto the good section.
Starting over again I noticed Cecil and my daughter, talking to my wife and my grandson well he was just chattering away using Jayden speak, which by the way I’m starting to understand. But it was the gesturing and Tagalog talking that was my first clue to the fact that something was going to go wrong. “Paul, my Mahal.” Said Mayang; Jayden has a doctors appoint this morning, at 1000 hours. Justin his cousin was turning one that day and there is going to be a party at his house, plus my son-in-law Chris’s Lola passed away and there was a wake that afternoon. Plus I’m supposed to go to lunch at noon with Loren and Mercy. Doomed, doomed and double doomed!
My, my, that’s a fine kettle of fish we were in. Then they all started with the most convoluted plans on how all the item listed on the revised Plan of the Day could be accomplished. I would have to pen a novel to explain it all to you, and myself as well my head by this time was spinning like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Their plan was a clear as mud but it did cover the ground.
I held up my hand to bring them all to a halt and calmly said; “It’s Saturday morning, just when we’re you going to tell me about all this extra stuff you’ve got planned?” I was wondering if the death, the doctor’s appointment and the birthday party had just came up within the last twenty minutes, or had they all just neglected to tell me? And why in the name of all that’s good and just didn’t they tell me on Thursday while I was making my plan, while being just fat dumb and happy. In the navy we called it the “Mushroom Syndrome” whereas you’re kept in a damp dark cave and fed bullshit until they decide to inform you.
Well Paul, what do you want to do, and which plan works the best for you? Please note that at no time did my blood pressure rise, or a frown cross my face. I smiled as I handed the hose to Cecil smiled and said; I guess you’ll be the one to wash the car, as I’m phoning Loren and Mercy and beg to put off our lunch until Sunday. You my wonderful family can take the car and sort out the day, I’ll be staying at home mustering the dog army for a full day of house patrol. If Sunday any of you try to alter my plans I’m taking the car and going by myself to the Barrio for lunch. I received three astonished looks and a smile from my grandson, as he knows that Lolo is always right, even if sometimes I’m wrong.
Off they go on their day, to return after dark, tired and happy to be home. Sunday morning I awoke and logged on to Face Book, posted a joke or two, had coffee and a Cream cheese (with chives) bagel, and prepared for my day of good company, lunch with friends and mirth and merriment, and bar hopping. Cocktails at Sit-N-Bull, the Liberty Call Bar, off to Toucan’s Bar and then off to Dynamite Dick’s (Which according to Dick he sells the best Hamburger in the Philippines) which on our next outing Loren and I decided we would see if that braggadocio was in fact true. But it was our first time there and it was very pleasant, as were the owners Dick and his wife.
The New Old Honda was left parked in front of the Liberty Call bar, and Mercy and Mayang informed Loren and I that our spreading of good times was ending for the day, and our over served butts was in for a ride home. Well Okay we could have one more at the Liberty Call, and then go home.
Loren has a very large apartment building close to the gate at the Freeport, and as we were dropping them off the idea sprung up that a cocktail on the fourth floor roof top patio would be another fine idea. It is fully covered with a roof, and in the future it will be their house and patio. The building is a couple of years old and the roof top dwelling is still being worked on. I liked it as the breeze was cool and the view of the Freeport and Olongapo City is nothing short of spectacular. I smiled thinking; “I live on a Mountain, and Loren built his own mountain in the middle of the city.”
The Mushroom Syndrome has hit me once more. The amount of times is beyond counting, and I know the future holds many, many more opportunities for them to do it to me again. Monday morning, I was informed that I was taking Mayang shopping, somehow I agreed while cocktails were surging through my system, I was going to call a foul, but I smiled and thought; “Damn, they got me again!” Normally I would fall back on a time tested excuse I learned in the Navy that goes something like this; “I was drunk, so it really didn’t happen.” It didn’t work in the Navy, and won’t work here either! I’m doomed…
If there is to be any humor to be found in this situation it goes back to a week earlier at the By-the-Sea Resort on a Friday night when Loren had brought up the exact same topic, and we had a laugh over it. Then one week later…
So we’ll hatch a plan, to meet for lunch, not tell the ladies and when we get there we’ll swear to all that’s holy that we informed them the day before.
Now I feel that as you read this you’ll be thinking; “Paul is making this stuff up!” Above I told you about last Sunday, Now it was Friday and we are meeting Loren and Mercer at Texas Joe’s to celebrate Loren’s “69th” Birthday. And believe it or not, just before I left the house I was informed that my daughter and her husband (Plus my grandson) needed the car that day. When did they tell me? Just before we were going to the Freeport, without further comment I said lets go you will drop me off at the restaurant take the car and we’ll ride a taxi to Loren’s building and you can pick us up there. Loren and I got a good laugh out of that and while we were at Joe’s we met 3 US Navy guys at TJ’s and had a great afternoon with themall Tyrone, Steve and Mike three really great Navy men.
I just received this from the Birthday Boy Loren, and as it concerns this story I will add it here:.
Yes; it was a pretty good birthday all things considered. The first indication that it would be a good day was when I woke up and realized that I was still alive. I had made big plans in the event that I would still be breathing and the plans included meeting Merced’s and my good friends the Paul Thompsons at Texas Joes for lunch. As luck would have it his children gave him permission to go out and play and when Merced and I arrived at TJ’s Paul already had the cold beers flowing out on the patio. We swallowed a couple SMBs just to cool off our insides and then went inside to have lunch. The place was packed but we got a table right away and I ask one of the waitresses to take our picture. She says say cheese, and I said 69. After a few more pictures and a few more 69s she came over and asks me if there was a reason I seemed obsessed with 69. I told her there certainly was a reason, it was my sixty ninth birthday and they only happen once in a lifetime to a fortunate few. She then insisted on checking my ID to verify that I wasn’t really just some pervert. After the checking of the ID we were allowed to order another round of drinks so life was and is good. Lunch was served fairly quickly considering the amount of people there and it was very good. After lunch we went back out on the patio to have a few rum and Pepsi’s-we always order rum and coke and the poor waitress always has to explain to us they only have Pepsi and will that be satisfactory, we always agree as long as she agrees to put Ice cubes in the glass. We were well into our second or third rum and Pepsi with cube when three young US Navy sailors showed up and swapped some sea stories with us, of course Paul and I due to our age knew more stories than they did. Quite a few rum & Pepsi’s with cubes later the sailors got bored of our stories and left. We really enjoyed talking with them though.
Well back home for a couple real rum and Cokes then it was time for a power nap around 1830 or 6:30pm. Woke up this morning which is now my birthday in the States and suggested to the wife we go celebrate my birthday again she didn’t see the humor or the need and mumbled something about an old fool. Oh well looking forward to the 70th but I guess I will have to say cheese then.
loren & merced
One of these days in the near future , I have to come visit you and Loren! Between the three of us old Chiefs, I’ll wager no sea story telling Son of a sailor man stands a chance against us and the Idea of a few beers among some pretty cowgirls would seem to be my idea of a perfect retirement setting! In the meantime I’ll pop a few San Migs and let my imagination run wild at just when I can do that.
Joe;
It’s the cowgirls, the food is just okay, no, hey the food is great too. But the fun of the day was sitting with the three Navy guys and telling new and old Sea Stories, I miss that. I don’t think I’d do well in the new kinder gentler Navy.
From what I am hearing there are no Real Chiefs in the new kinder gentler politically correct Navy but I’m thinking there could be if some would voluntarily submit to Initiation by some old retired chiefs in the RP. LOL . but I seriously do want to vist probably when I go to get my 13a visa later this year
Joe;
That would surprise me if the Chief’s mess, didn’t go off base and have their own Initiation without the navy looking over their shoulder. I know if I was still it that’s how I’d do it. And the E-7 that didn’t attend would never be referred to as “Chief” by me.
LOL “I felt sorry for Loren” the caption says on the picture of him celebrating his “69th” birthday at Texas Joe’s. I do, too. His eyes were about to fall of their sockets ogling at the drop dead gorgeous cowgirl behind him. When does the next plane leave for the Philippines? LOL
John;
And that was but a small percentage of Joe’s Cowgirls; they are all competent employees, who are paid fairly compared to the other restaurants and they like their job. BTW Kano’s love the food and service, but we are only 10% of their customer base, the Pinoy’s have made it their home too, and they come in droves.
You’re right about Joe’s cowgirls, Paul. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that good looking and competent female employees bring in the customers. Restaurant and bar owners will never admit it, but if you’re a plain Jane your chances of getting a job at such places are slim to none. In the Philippines, employers can discriminate base on age as well as looks and probably get away with it.
John;
In the US the Airlines were forced to hire over weight and over aged flight attendants, now we have ill tempered attendants who can’t pass each other in the aisle. See what you get on Asian Airlines!
In Puerto Rico all my bartenders and cocktail waitresses were pleasing to the eye. I made money because of them, and so did they.
Hi Paul – As a fellow Mushroom, I can vouch for every word you uttered. There’s an element of humor (very faint element but it’s there nonetheless) is each episode of “Just In Time Information Gathering”! 😉
Up here, the usual scenario is being told of an event from one to three hours prior to its start. When asking, “When were you going to tell me?” the answer is always the same: “I told you last week!” Then, I remember an Ilocano conversation (that didn’t include me) between my dear wife and a friend who would accompany us that had occurred in the prior week. 😆
As Jimi Hendrix sang, “No need to get excited. . . .” 😀
Paul;
1 to 3 hours prior notice; Luxury my friend, pure luxury oh if only… I think they notify me in sign language, I do remember seeing arms moving at a high rate of speed during conversations held in a group meeting while I’m not there.
But my fellow mushroom, I do like mine sautéed in butter and garlic. It’s the best I’ll ever get!
Understand fully.
Paul;
Than please explain it to me! (lol)
Understand fully.
I believed ever word until I saw what you wrote under the picture: “I felt so sorry for Loren”. Then some doubts arose.
Loren;
Now I know why you posted twice! Where are we going Friday?
I believed ever word until I saw what you wrote under the picture: “I felt so sorry for Loren”. Then some doubts arose.
Hey Joe, there is always room for one more at Texas Joe’s.
Loren (Big P)
You looked like a kid in a candy store with a hundred dollar bill. Last Friday there almost was no more room, wow it was crowded
Paul, it looks like you kept your cool and worked with the situation to your advantage. Nice going! By the way, will that apartment building be rental ready anytime soon? hahaha!
John;
It’s sometimes takes all I have to keep my cool, but blowing up causes nothing good to happen.
Lornen has been renting apartments for a couple of years, but if he’s not here no one seems to pay the rent. But they are good size units, close to everyrthing.
Mmmm I wonder if Loren will give me a job?
Hi Paul, another great article, made my Monday again. Seeing as you are partial to a drop of rum I remember one of your articles about you being stationed with the Royal Navy, just interested to know if you were entitled to the ration of “Grog” if so what did you think of it? Also I expect they taught you the art of the perfect Gin and Tonic lol. Have a good day.
John;
My first time with the Royal Navy was in Portsmouth Navel Base UK in the 1970’s, the tot of rum had been abolished on Black Tot Day 31 July 1970 but the crew could buy you a Pusser’s Rum (made in Tortola British West Indies) at the bar onboard.
In the 80’s I was again stationed with the Royal Navy on Diego Garcia BIOT (British Indian Ocean Territory) and there the Chief Stocker would muster us every afternoon at the Chief’s beach hut for Gin and Tonic’s but I would add the ice to my drink and the Brit’s would shout “Yankee Poofta” A great bunch of guys!
To get a message in the last minute – totally normal 😀
Axel;
After 20 years here, if they told me in advance, I’d know they would change the plan at the last minute anyway.
In the Navy and later on Merchant Ships, we learned the buzz words: in the 60’s the expression was “Stay Flexible” in the 70’s it was “Stay Fluid” and in the 1980’s is ended up being “Stay Gaseous” I carried that in to civilian life and found it does works very well here in the Philippines.
To get a message in the last minute – totally normal 😀
Paul,
Got a good laugh out of the article. It’s getting me really excited about getting over there. Only 10 more working days left. Have already got 10 boxes packed to send over there. Anne has her interview at the US Embassy on Thursday for her tourist visa. Hopefully she will be here by the end of May. We are looking forward to getting up there to see Mayang and You for a couple of days in August or September. Will definitely have to go back to Texas Joes again and also check out some of the other establishments that serve adult beverages. No taking a bus this time lol. Didn’t realize Lorens Aptment was so close to the gate. Take care and stay safe.
Randy;
I’m hoping it goes smoothly for Anne at the Embassy, Looking forward to your return, watering holes are plentiful and we can hit a few on your next visit..Loren’s is close, if you wanted you could walk to Texas Joe’s, but I wouldn’t walk anywhere unless I really had to. See ya soon!
Hey Paul,
I noticed a for rent sign in the pic. Any idea what Loren is asking for rent and how many bedrooms in the apartments? If you could find out the rates, that would be great. Thx
Ernesto;
Bob Martin, I believe can forward an e-mail to him, it’s always better to get info from the source
Use the “CONTACT US” at the top of this page.