The number one emotion shown here must be jealously, the sad part is, it’s such a wasteful emotion, and they carry it with them wherever they go.
I’ve witnessed families attempt to drag down a fellow member whom they feel has risen to high, and if they fail at that, then they’ll talk about them (Covered by Bob’s article last week on Gossip.). It’s just a case of spiteful jealously, friends do it to friends, and co-workers do it to each other.
So many people say that corruption is holding the country back, whereas I think that jealously is doing a far better job holding the country down. I’ll give you a prime example of what I’m writing about. Our youngest daughter (Ymir Thea AKA Yhen) lives and works in Singapore, she likes her life there, and is pleased with her job, and the advancements she’s received from it. But her success irks her roommates, she has a good job, and the worst part (to them) is she really likes her job.
The only downside she found is with her two former college class mates that she shares the apartment with, those two girls send most of the money they earn back home to support their family, as do the majority of OFW’s. It is laudable that they do this. But it doesn’t give them the right to be jealous, or to lay guilt on our daughter, just because she doesn’t have to do it. They feel that since she has more money, she should pay a bigger share of the cost of the apartment. Now, where is the logic in that? Plus they chide her for having friends outside the Filipino community. (Imagine that!)
Yes, I understand the reasons why Yhen is upset, she used to pick up the tab for them whenever they went out, and they expected that she do so. Then the next day they would show to Yhen the nice blouse or shoes they just bought with the money they saved. Kinda’ unfair!
Her new group of friends, is all international young ladies, which she’s met through work and other friends, she will go bike riding with them, touring the island and doing more fun things, plus learning more about the world and the people in it. The best part is they all seem to be able to pay their own way. And she enjoys trying all their different food. My daughter has tried to get her roommates to come along, and join in on the things they do, as it does not take any real big money to enjoy those activities. But they’re from, the “Philippines First” school of thought, and will not join in.
Her Ate (my wife’s other sister) from Las Vegas called her, and told her it was her responsibility to send money back home to her cousins, who are not working. I countered and told her not to do it, as I had provided each with a college education, and they chose to sit at their daddy’s house and not make any effort to find work. I guess they think that one day someone will knock on their door and offer them a job.
Her older sister YoHanna agrees with me, and told her little sister to enjoy her life, and get the most she can out of it. I then reminded her that the Ate in Las Vegas does not practice what she preaches. She has put no family member through school. She sends two LBC boxes every year, full of everything that is available here. Plus many of the number 10 cans of food (restaurant size) she buys at Sam’s Club, which is great, if you throw a lot of block parties.
I’ve written in the past my views of supporting family here, I’ll help any of the kids with their education, and no one will go without medical care. But jobs were invented eons ago, and that is where one gets money for food and day to day needs, such as loads for cell phones Red Horse and, cigarettes, etc.
One other subject I’ve mentioned before is loans (Or gifts in Tagalog), I will lend any family member any amount of money, and as soon as I get paid that money back, then they can ask again. But, for some reason no one asks me about a loan anymore or has ever paid me back. Over the years each family member has received a loan from me at one time, but, for the last ten years, the bank of “Paul” has been closed due to unrecoverable accounts receivable. I do get along with all family members quite well as a matter of fact, they understand me now that they’ve derailed the gravy train, and know that their kids will all go to school on my dime and are covered if anyone gets sick, they seem happy with the way it is now. (Or not!)
I still must be very careful if I do something or give something to one member of the family and not all. The jealousy will start anew. I’m fed up with it. I never favor one over the other. But the foolishness could cause me to stop sharing altogether. I don’t want to leave anyone with the impression that no one works, the large percentage do get up every day and provide for their family as best they can. But there will always be that group that can’t find their way to the worksite, and wait for the Mango’s to fall from heaven. Good luck on that! They always fall back on jealously, when the other guy gets the Mango’s by climbing the tree.
We choose to live here, but we didn’t choose to be a walking ATM or worry about petty people.