Sometimes marriages don’t work out, they end in divorce. That is probably at least as common as success, I guess. I have been lucky.
In August 1990, I married Feyma Bayoy. We have been married for more than 26 years now. You all know Feyma because she regularly writes on this website.
When I married Feyma, I most certainly “married up”. I married above my own level. She is most certainly a better person than I am. She is kinder than I am, and she can also get a lot more done than I can. Her kindness and determination are what gets things done for her. She knows who to talk to, how to treat them, and generally how to make things happen in the Philippines. I have learned from her, but she is the master, I cannot deny that.
The past few months
At the end of June this year, I had a heart attack. I had never had heart problems before, and this came as a real surprise. Over the past few years I have even had tests on my heart and was told that my heart was in good shape. It turned out that things were not as good as they appeared, though.
After my heart attack, I really did not think that I had a major problem, and I started taking medication, but did not think that anything more would be needed. My cholesterol was low, and everything seemed that I would be OK. But, a few months later I started experiencing a bit more chest pain, so I decided that it was time to have some more thorough testing to see what the problem was. That was the time when I learned that due to the fact that I have been diabetic for many years, my arteries were very blocked. It was beyond what angioplasty could fix, so I needed a bypass operation, a quadruple bypass in fact. I am writing this article fairly early, so I hope that by the time you read this I have already finished my surgery, but that is not certain.
It could not have happened without Feyma
Feyma, being the “bull dog” that she is (that is meant in a good way) took the bull by the horns and worked through the PhilHealth system, and she was able to do everything needed to get me on the Z Package at PhilHealth so that I could get the open heart surgery at a very reasonable price.
There were many days during the insurance approval process when Feyma spent full days going all around town getting this approval and that approval. Take care of seeing doctors, setting up appointments, etc. I felt so guilty during this time, because she was out every day, working hard and taking care of all of this for me. I could not do it, I needed to basically just stay home and rest. My health just would not allow me to be running around town for the entire day, but she did it and without a single complaint.
I have to say thanks!
Honey, I appreciate so greatly the efforts that you made to ensure my health! I could not have done it without you, I know that very well. You made it happen, and I owe you for that!
I have had a great marriage that has lasted for many years. I am so grateful for that… and I also know that without Feyma it simply would not have happened. It is also true that I probably would not even be alive right now if she had not been so determined to make things happen for this heart surgery!
Thanks, hon. That’s all I can say!
God bless you Bob and feyma??
A true story of love and commitment. Get well Bob and Feyma God bless you and all that you do
Way to go Feyma thanks for taking such good care of Bob Just more proof why Filipina lady’s make good wives.
its is both wonderfull and a blessing from God when it works out .You both have been blessed
Proverbs 1: 10-12 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Lourdes and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage this year.
God Bless U Feyma, and My Prayers are with U and your whole family! Ingnat ka!!
God bless to both of you.
Keep us informed on Bob’s progress. We’re all pulling for a FULL recovery!
Beautiful Photo!
Congrats brother…and hope and prayers for a speedy recovery from surgery!
Really great article, Bob. As you and Feyma know I am also blessed with a wonderful wife, Mita, whois basically everything to me.
I get sort of a lump in my throat when I read this, thinking of so many foreigner men I have known her in the Philippines who continually make it clear they feel superior to their wives, smarter than their wives, etc. All I can say to those guys is, “Sucks to be you.” Bob and I am nay others I see here are truly blessed.
Funny,
I was thinking the exact same thing! My wife of 33 years, Visayan, runs circles around me on most issues, and together, we balance each other pretty well!
@ Jay
Indeed. My wife is a tower of strength for me warm, loving, frugal, and as far as me being smarter than her? Umm I head that’s going to happen sometime around the second Thursday of next week, LoL.
You have an awesome wife in Feyma, ah that all men should be so blessed to have such a woman in their lives. I hope and pray the operation went well! God bless sir!
Ohh make me tears.. Good bless u both….
Hi Bob,
My wife is superior to me in virtual every way except height and physical strength. Get well soon!
Peace
Jay
Bob what a wonderful thing to say.
We wives have to ‘bully’ you men, especially when your ill and will not go to the doctors.
I’ve been bullying mine for over forty years. I think it comes under unconditional love.
Hope all goes well with your recovery
Good luck Bob, we”ll be pulling for you.
“Behind every successful man is a strong woman who held it all together.” Old adage
I am lucky like you and have a strong and caring Filipina to take care and protect me. Hoping for a fast and successful recovery for you.
Beautiful story. Continued blessings to both of you!
Bob, You are not lucky but blessed. Our spouses, Filipino or other, are a true gift.
Dear Bob and Feyma,
Blessings always to you both and family! Yes Sir, you are truly blessed as she is with you. I pray for you in your medical care and %100 success. With the love and care from your eternal companion it is medicine that no doctor can match!
For me, you know I left my heart in the Philippines. …….. and had wished for a fairly tale ending that never happened. I truly believe that someday I will be able to find my last true love there just like you and others!!!!
Sending love and light to you all, Sincerely ~ Patrick
God bless Feyma, wow!! Such a generous, servant heart, God bless you both.
Wondedful story. Those of us who are married to a Filipina woman are truly fortunate and Feyma is just anothed example. We are all praying for a FULL recovery Bob
Amen to all these replies but not for Bob… There`s still much more to say for your wife than Thanks! How about start from… “Mahal na mahal din kita!” 🙂 God bless for your full recovery …and your “best medicine …Feyma!
Hi Leo. To be honest you have no idea what I have said or do be for my wife. Do you think I share every word between us?
If I said what you said I should tell her it would be a huge insult. In the language where we live Mahal means expensive. “You are very expensive”? I think not.
Hey man! Don`t get me wrong! I know what is 2 meanings of that world…but that`s NOT the point what I try to say with my “Finglish”. In Bisaya Porohanons they say Mahal as Dear, Honey as my wife also for me and I to her. A rich languages for many meanings! BUT what I TRY to say is that when your operation is gone for good recovery…YOU have many many years still to show your love to Feyma and this Thanks is NOT the only and last word to impress your love to her. I am so shy and don`t mind to listen/ know the words you say to her..it`s only for your ears only! I HOPE I could impress myself right this time, ok? God bless!
Frankly, what you’re saying is hugely insulting, and I do not appreciate it. You have no idea what things I’ve done for my wife, for her family, what words I have said to them in thanks for the things that they have done for me. I can assure you that they would not think that I was ungrateful for the things they’ve done for me. For you to claim otherwise only shows ignorance, because you have no idea what words have been said between us.
Ok! I can see the “Great language barior” between us and misunderstanding my very very warm intension you just got my very simple Cebuano Porohanon sentense from Camotes Islands SOOOOO WRONG thet it`s not anymore use to wish you nothing more as really you misunderstand my words… ( In English I try to say that as simple ” Honey! I love you too!” ) and I hope you can say something like that for your dear wife the rest of your happy and long life by the graze of our Lord! Mahal world has NOTHING to do with my mind but mahal in this meaning I say it for my dear wife has the meaning she understand like valuable, dear, precious. Have your full recovery! Sorry about misunderstanding so much. You won`t hear me anymore and I delete my post in Finnish in the Philippines side what I did share about your fund for a heart surgery and some other intro. I would be glad if you do the same for my unlucky comments,ok? Sorry once again and goodbye. 🙂 Peace
I love you? You are not aware that I tell my wife that around a hundred times every day, and have been doing so every day for 26 years now. Frankly, you’re just speaking in a totally ignorant fashion. You intend it to be nice and that sort of thing, but really it’s nothing but ignorant. If I have misinterpreted you, I don’t see how, but I apologize if I have. Perhaps you should consider doing the same thing.
Yes…So sorry that you got it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wrong ! As said English is not my mother language but try to understand my MEANING with a positive way as I did write that. Same words in more than 65 ? dialects got another meanings but I hope that this …not for Bob ….is NOT an insult but like a 🙂 As Amen you know is for the replies and yours Thanks will CONTINUE….this that I mean Feyma loves you so much…..and I just wanted to say that ypur only and last word is not Thanks but showing her your love and gradidute ( wrong spelling?) with those words I was thinking have the SAME MEANING as my wife`s dialect ” Honey! (Mahal ) I love you also!” I don`t know nothing but you are a good person and helped us expats and others a lot but really I don`t want to know nothing about your personal life and for sure I don`t want to make any harm for your heart and recovery. So, let`s stop this unlucky conversation! Delete it so that you don`t get pressure and try to rest. Sorry once again…my intension seems to turn around opposite way and better for me to stop and follow your advise as you wish. Have a nice day! I don`t have to say take care of your family as I know you will. Goodbye & God bless!