Last week I went back to the province to attend the 40th day of my mom’s passing. Here in my province the 40 days is a big day. Since my mom was a Catholic we did everything in her beliefs. My sister whose a Catholic carried it on. Nine days before the 40 days my sister had 8 nights of prayer (1 hour long). On the 9th day/ 40 days at the same time the prayer would be at the grave. I think only Catholic would have the 9 days prayer, but some other religions celebrate 40 days. My nephew who’s wife is a Muslim, the wife told us that they also celebrate 40 days.
Lots of my family and my moms friends came to have prayer at the house too. We really had 2 prayers going on one was at my sister (my mom stayed at her house for a long time too) in GenSan who is a Catholic and the other one was at the house where my mom died. It was really nice seeing some of our family there. A lot of them helped us during the time my mom was ill.
On that day at the house we butchered a pig and some chickens. Really most of the people that attended were the family of my mom and some from my dad side, also some of my parents’ tenants on our land before. The people that helped in the kitchen are the friends of my sister in church. Very nice people and good cooks too.
Its really a double celebration because its my mom’s 40 days of passing and its also the birthday of my brother-in-law. We had prayer first for my mom and later that evening my sister prepared also for my brother-in-laws birthday. At first my brother-in-law didn’t really feel like celebrating because my mom just died. My sister just prepared something since were there anyway to celebrate with them. It turn out to be a good celebration though. My brother-in-law really had a good time. Honestly it was hard loosing Mama but we are also happy that finally her suffering is done. We just celebrated the life that we had with her. Before my mom died and when our farm was safe for my kids to come and visit the original plan of my brother-in-law was to have a big celebration. He wanted to invite all his nephews and nieces. But the plans changed when its not that safe anymore there. He was really looking forward for my kids to come there especially Chris. They really are close. Hopefully next year our place would be good already for my kids to visit again.
To my siblings thank you for preparing. You guys really work hard there. Of course to my Honey, your always so supportive even though you don’t really understand the culture sometimes. I love you more for that.
Feyma: Interesting article. Whereas I saw the funeral customs, I did not see the mourning part.
Again, condolences for your mother. It sounds like she had a really nice send-off.
Hi Mare,
Too bad, you did not inform me again. I could have partaken that big "handaan" on the picture.
Was Bob with you?
🙂
Hello Feyma, Austria, where I live, is 80% Catholic. I have attended a few funerals but being Protestant did not know anything about the 40 days. After asking a few friends here if it is also celebrated in Austria, I was informed that yes it was. I want to thank you very much for enlightening me. Even though it is a memorable day for you. it was an educational one for me.
Hi Feyma,
I don't know exactly where your childhood home is and that alone may explain your safety concerns. Do you mind going into that some?
I'm glad you had a good visit. It is nice the way Filipino celebrate the life of their ancestors. And to do it in such an organized way helps too build the bonds of family. I got a real sense of that when I went to my GF's home.
Thanks for a great explanation of some of the background and 'finer points' of the mourning process. It's pretty painful to have to use your mom as an example but we who have so much to learn really appreciate you sharing with us. May she rest in peace.
Hi Feyma, once more again: an interesting and important post for a -maybe- better understanding between Filipinos (Filipinas) and their expat spouses. Being a protestant (Martin Luther) myself, I always tried to respect my wife's (catholic) belief. When I my mother-in-law passed away, I got the same experiences, you mentioned in your post. I just agreed with them – and joined him. No big deal. Why? We believe in one God, IF WE DO SO… .
Hi John Miele – The mourning process take awhile though.
Thank you again for the thoughts and prayers. Me and my family appreciates very much.
Thank you again for stopping by!
Hi bariles – Kumpare sorry I didn't invite you and Kumpareng Orman. The 40 days was held in our farm. Its quiet aways from GenSan. I was thinking of you two. I want to see you guys next time I be in GenSan.
Bob and the kids didn't go with me for safety reasons. Lately its not safe there. Bob didn't even like it that I went to the farm.
Anyway, hope to see you guys sometime soon. Thank you for the thoughts and the prayers for my Mama.
Thank you again for stopping by here!
Hi John in Austria – Wow, now you also educate me that Austria also celebrate 40 days. I am shocked. I really thought that only here in the Philippines for that 40 days celebration especially my province.
Thank you also for that good information you had shared. Thank you so much for stopping by! Take care.
Hi Rusty – I will write another column for that.
Its really in our culture in the Philippines to really respect the elders. I'm sure you already saw it from your Partner the way she treats her parents, and other family members that are older than her. Have fun learning our culture.
Thank you for your comment. Take care and God bless!
Hi Dave – It's okay I am happy to share it with all of you. At least you guys also gave prayers and good thoughts for my mom.
Thank you Dave for the good comment. Thank you again for stopping by. Take care and God bless!
Hi Klaus – I am happy that you also have some enlightenment on my column. I'm happy that you already learn a lot from our culture, you being here for a long time. Keep learning some more. 😉
Hey we believe in the same God no matter what religion you are.
Take care!
Maayong Buntag Bob
So what has the price of gas been doing in the RP? It has been dropping like a rock in the US. I paid $1.73 a gallon today so let me see how much this would be in liters and pesos. 1 gallon equals 3.7843 liter so $1.73/3.7843=$.457151917 per liter, now at 49.27 peso to the dollar that would be $.457151917×49.27= 22.5239 putting the price of gas at 22.52 peso per liter. I am interested in this because I have noticed these same price increases in gas when the price went up but the price in the RP seemed to stay higher when the price dropped in the US. (???)
Nice to hear that you had a good time … My wife explained all this to me when her mom diet in Oct. 05…and it was nice to hear that u was able to celebrate your brother-in-laws birthday too …You said it was not safe at the farm .are there rebels in the area now ..????…..Phil R.