Last Friday was a fun and interesting day for Feyma and I. We spent the day entertaining some guests who are in town, Kevin Smith, and his wife Bebing. Longtime readers of this site may remember Kevin, when we first converted to a multi-author platform, Kevin was a writer on this site. I had never met Kevin in person before, until recently. During the time he was writing on the site, he was living in the United States. Kevin and Bebing still live in the United States, but are currently visiting the Davao area. Kevin is a middle school science teacher, and teaching is something that he is very passionate about.
For Friday, Feyma, Kevin, Bebing and I decided to take a trip to Samal Island, just for a getaway. We wanted to show Kevin and Bebing where we would be building our house, and also just enjoy many different sites around the island. Anyway, this article is not about our visit, but particularly about one event that happened during our time on Samal.
We had stopped to explore the Samal White House, a nearly 100-year-old house, that is a landmark on the island. It is very near to our property, and a place that we really love spending time. While we were exploring the area there were some other people around, working on the house, doing some landscaping and such. We spent a lot of time talking with these people, just getting to know them a little. As we were leaving, a young girl started walking toward the area where we were. I thought she was maybe around 10 years old, but as it turns out she is 13. It was midday on Friday, so I asked her why she was not in school. She could not speak English, but I was able to converse with her in Bisaya. She told me that she’d quit school after fourth grade, so there was no school for her. After she said that, a conversation broke out amongst all of us and we were really urging her that she needed to go back to school. Her response was that there was no money available, so school was really an impossibility for her.
Bebing said that her mother, who lives in Digos, about an hour from Davao, was looking for a helper in the house, and in addition, her mother is a school teacher. So, an offer was made by Bebing to Mae that if she is willing to go to Digos and help around the house, she could go back to school. She was excited with the offer, but of course, at 13, she would need her mother’s permission to do something like that. Feyma, Bebing, and this girl (her name is Mae) headed off to talk to the parents. Their house was not far away, just walking distance. The mother was a little reluctant, Mae is the oldest child, and it would be hard to see her go. But, the father encouraged the move, wanting his daughter to be able to get an education. So, it was decided, Mae would go with us.
At the time when Mae joined us, and was ready to leave, it was quite touching. Her mother was in tears, and Mae’s eyes were welled up with tears as well. I’m sure it was very hard for May’s mother to see her go. Kevin and I were talking about this, and thinking to ourselves, how much different our culture is from theirs. I can’t imagine some stranger showing out and taking one of my kids with them, I wouldn’t even hear of that. Frankly, it would be unfathomable. But, Mae’s parents realized that it was really her only chance that she would get ahead in life, and they accepted that.
When Mae joined us and we left, we had quite a talk with her. We found out that this was the first time she’d ever been inside a car before. In fact, she’d never left Samal Island before, and had actually only been to a very small part of the island. Almost everything we did that day was the first time for Mae. It was fun witnessing her amazement at so many things. When we rode the ferry back from the island to the city, she was quite shocked, I don’t think she knew that there was such a thing as a boat that could carry a car. She was a little bit scared with all this, but overall more amazed than scared.
When we got home, Mae was shocked at the size of our house. That didn’t surprise us, because her house was only about 8′ x 8′, and they had a family of six people living there. When we got home, Mae also enjoyed probably the best meal she’d ever had before. After the meal, she even had ice cream, the first time she’d ever had that before too. Mae stayed overnight at our house, and on Saturday morning Kevin and Bebing took her to Digos to start her new life.
Before leaving, Mae asked us if it was okay if she came to visit us from time to time, and of course we said yes. Even though we only knew Mae for a short time, we’d grown attached to her and close to her, as if she was our kid too. I hope that she gets a good education, improves her life, and can even help her family improve their life as well.
Good luck Mae.
UPDATE: I got a text message from Kevin and Bebing yesterday afternoon. It seems that Kevin was contacted by Mae’s mother demanding the return of Mae, because her mother misses her. So, Kevin and Bebing will be bringing Mae back to Davao later this week, and returning her to Samal. It’s too bad, because this was an opportunity for Mae to end up living a better life. Unless things change in the next couple of days, it seems that this opportunity will be passed by.
Very nice story. One person at a time. There should be more Bob and Feymas and Kevin and Bebings in this World. Lynn and I help out by over tipping as often as we can and before I met her, my wife Lynn used to give out tons of rice in May to help out the Mountain people. You can never do enough especially in a Country that does SO LITTLE to help its people. This school thing is a travesty. I have met dozens of kids that no longer can afford to go to school.
kamusta bob
wow you all are so kind to mae.its good to see people help a child that would otherwise have a different life,now she has great chances and the sky is the limit.kudos to you all.i believe in karma and god will make sure some karma will return double.i really hope to have an update from time to time on maes progress.
salamat bob 🙂
I Bob, I think you mean an offer was made to MAE. I got a little confused. Here is your passage above.
Bebing said that her mother, who lives in Digos, about an hour from Davao, was looking for a helper in the house, and in addition, her mother is a school teacher. So, an offer was made to Bebing that if she is willing to go to Digos and help around the house, she could go back to school. She was excited with the offer, but of course, at 13, she would need her mother’s permission to do something like that. Feyma, Bebing, and this girl (her name is Mae) headed off to talk to the parents.
Hi Richard Wicky – I am sorry for my error, I guess we all make mistakes! I have edited the sentence to fix that.
Hi Richard Wicky – I think a lot of people like me and Feyma, Kevin and Bebing, as a matter of fact, I think it's pretty average, people just don't recognize it. I've done things like giving out rice and such like you did to, and it's very rewarding to do that sort of thing. Yes, it's too bad when a kid can't afford to go to school.
Hi Ron W – unfortunately, if you read my update on the post, it seems that Mae decided that she could not make it, or at least her mother could not make it through the loneliness. I can understand missing your child, but when an opportunity is presented to improve that child, it's sad that it will not be taken. If anything further comes along, I'll certainly update you.
This is a "no lose" experience. Even if nothing else comes of this particular opportunity for Mae, what she has already experienced will shape her life forever.
And the story certainly has not necessarily ended. Maybe the parents will again reconsider, and an arrangement be made that eases the separation anxiety. Maybe not. But it's already a win!
Poverty is a tough nut to crack.
Wouldn't it be great if the Politicians all over the world could suffer the same Plight as the poor. They would certainly get the message and fix things. For example in Mae's situation I would bet if you forced a politician to take his/her kids out of school until all kids can go to a school a new bill would be on the Senate floor before you could say 1,2,3. Just another one of my fantasies LOL
Bob,
A wonderful story but it is also a little scary. I know you and Kevins attentions were honerable and honest but there are others in the world that are not. For a family to just let a little girl leave with stranges, foriegners or natives without meeting the people where the girl will live and seeing the conditions is unbelievable.
I do hope and pray for the best for little Mae. I wish I could do more for the people I meet and get to know here but everyone can do only as much as they can.
Even though we do not see each other often, I admire you for how you help locals when you can.
Very interesting Bob. I really, really connected on this because as you know Mita and I had a somewhat similar experience just a few months ago. It still makes me sad, and very, very frustrated, because even with my years of experience and in Filipino terms, huge wealth, it was impossible for me to do even the most rudimentary 'helping' of getting a young girl to go to even one day of school. Looks like I have my next column or two formulated in my mind already.
When people tlak of 'culture shock' in the Philippines their mind runs to things like eating strange food or crowding i8nto an already packed jeepney … official capacity: Just One More … but believe me, those are just the understandable edges of what is a much more incomprehensible issue. Living here can be a lot more difficult than some people can imagine.
Hi Nick Nichols – I agree that Mae gets a win on this one, even by just gaining the experiences that she had over the past few days. I do hope, though, that she can gain even more by making this a permanent thing, and getting a better education.
You are right, poverty is not easy to solve. Sometimes, even no matter how hard you try to help somebody, they fight it.
Hi Richard Wicky – 👿 Ha ha… I like your idea. Of course, the big problem is that the politicians themselves would have to pass such a law. That won't ever happen!
Hi Bob
What an amazing story. I really want to make a suggestion. Why not get the mother to see where Mae will be living? Will be a bit of a trip all round for everyone, but perhaps if the mother sees the opportunity her child has it may make it easier? My children both left the country before me and I miss them desperately but knowing that they are doing well helps alot.
May be that once you left and the excitement died down she realised she didnt know what would happen to the child. It may settle those fears.
Just a thought
Hi Bruce – Yes, it is quite scary for people like you and me. I could never let my child go off like that, but it is actually quite common here for such things to be accepted.
Thank you for your kind words.
Hi Dave Starr – Yes, I do recall your ordeal with the house help, and I can imagine that it is something that still brings back painful memories for you. You are so right about the culture shock – it takes on many forms.
Hi Carolynn – That is quite a thoughtful suggestion, and I think I'll recommend it to Kevin and Bebing. It might make a huge difference in the final outcome. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Bob. Mae reminded me so much of a girl named Victoria. At the age of 14, she lost both her parents and ended up working for my cousin. She was very smart and learned from helping the kids she cared for do their school assignments. When the kids grew up, my cousin approached me to sponsor her to Canada so she will have better opportunities there. I had no need for nannies, but having a young son, I was qualified to sponsor for her as a nanny. So I did, paid her full salaries and I also sent her to take ESL (English) courses. Now, she is Canadian, with 2 sons of her own, by sponsoring her Filipino boyfriend over. They also were able to buy their own house. My brother has since been able to sponsor several others this way, and they are now married and settling nicely in Canada, on their own.
A lot of Filipinos with no education seldom have this chance, but if expats can help educate them, i.e. caregivers education, they may qualifity to go overseas to countries such as Canada, where after 3 years of work employment (I think), they can apply to become immigrants. Victoria was lucky in the sense that she did not have to have a school certificate when I sponsored for her. Now, I believe, it is stricter and are required to show some educational background.
Hi Ellen – What an uplifting story. I hope that Mae can follow along in Victoria's footsteps with a similar adventure in life. Perhaps her mother may reconsider, and Mae can succeed. That is what I pray for. Congratulations to you and your brother for being so proactive in helping these young people!
Hi Bob
That was a heartwarming story, and I hope the mother will reconsider. Carolynn made a very good suggestion about bringing the mother to Digos and the family that will help raise her and give her an education. Having one less mouth to feed will also be a good thing for their family. Just think with all the OFWs out there where many have left their children behind for a chance at a better life for them. Has someone tried to talk to the father alone who seems to support the idea for Mae being in Digos.
I remember watching a documentary on sex workers in India. A foreigner was teaching them to take pictures with a provided camera. During the film each child was given a chance to go to a school to give them a better life and a chance to break away from prostitution where many of the young girls would end up. At least one parent couldn't bare with their daughter being away, which would most likely meant that she would end up being a prostitute.
Hi Neil – I just suggested to Kevin that he bring the mother to Digos to check out and see what is being offered. Kevin thought it was a good idea, but am not sure if it will work out or not. Thanks for the suggestion, Neil.
Hi Bob – the reaction of the mother is more in line with what I would feel, or what I would expect people here to feel. The shuffling around of kids in the Philippines is something that I have not quite gotten used to yet. I know it is very common as my wife was raised by her aunt, and one of my nephews lives with my mother-in-law. But in country where family is everything, it just seems so, well "foreign" to me. I have sons from a previous marriage with one living with me and one not. It is VERY tough on everybody.
When visiting his spring my newest nephew had his baptismal, as some of you my have seen in the photos I posted. As is probably common, since I am his uncle and visiting at the time, I was asked to be his godfather. This didn't seem unusual to me. But what did take me back a couple nights later, while visiting in the kitchen, was my mother-in-laws point blank statement to my wife & I that we should adopt my nephew. This while the father was sitting directly across the table from me. I could tell that he had not been consulted on the matter, but at the same time was not bothered by it. I WAS, and told her that this young boy needed to be with his parents and I would not think of taking him from them. Maybe my strong feelings were partially the result of my own situation at home.
Possibly by the time I get to the Philippines the boy will be old enough that bringing him to our house and helping with schooling would be beneficial to all. If I can help out, I'd want to do that but only if it was a situation where it was obviously going to benefit my nephew.
Hi Randy C – I understand. What your mother in law (and most people) does not understand regarding the adoption is that it is very difficult to adopt from within the family, and be able to facilitate that baby being able to go to the States, under US Immigration law. You would first have to live here for a minimum of 2 years. The baby would have to be taken from the parents and given to a third party for a minimum of 2 years and after all that the adoption procedure would start. They make such adoptions very difficult to stop fraudulent immigration into the USA.
Like you, I find all of this difficult to accept, and even to understand. But, it is also a fact of life here.
Hi Bob I see the time period,indicating not so honourable intentions. The first thought of Mae's mother should have been for her daughters safety, but it was not until later. Being the eldest of the children,I am sure Mae helps a lot at home. It took the mother a couple of days to realize this. Hopefully Mae's mothers selfishness has not destroyed Mae's big chance for a future. God willing. Guy
Hi Guy – I am not sure that I totally understand the beginning of your comment. "Not so honorable intentions" – on who's part? Kevin's? Mine? The mother? I am just not clear, but I think you mean on the mother's part. Actually, I don't think that anybody's intentions were un-honorable, I think that Mae's mom was just overcome with a sense of loneliness, and decided to tell her to come home. I feel that it was the wrong decision for Mae's sake, but who knows….
Hi Bob. I agree what had been said above. Kevin and his wife's gesture was/is commendable. They present what they can offer and with all honesty.
Let me take another view though and this is passed Kevin and his wife's offer for help.
If any one here takes the side of the mother and think for a moment…..
I will take the side of the mother anytime.
It's very painful for a parent to let go a child and especially a minor. This is true everywhere without exception.
Since as far as can be remembered and for generations kids are sent away to get employed for the benefit of the kid and to send money back home. This is true not only in the Philippines but all over the third world countries and the ghettos and remote poor rural areas of the first world.
Poverty is not only a money problem. It's a whole package of cultural, intellectual, social and behavioral underdevelopment. Also living poor maybe and can be a conscious choice.
I take it that the parents are healthy. The help should be to empower the parents.
How to do this is a very complicated issue. The government should have an answer but unfortunately the Philippines has a failed government.
The Cinderella myth is a well-entrenched "true story" in the Philippines. This myth should be crushed and buried forever.
I can't pretend to have the answer. I only know that there's should be more to life than all the comforts and even the higher education money brings.
Now, I'm talking like a priest…..which begs the question….Where is the Catholic Church?
Bob I read Guys comment as being a theoretical one in which people with bad intentions would do things quickly. It wasnt aimed at you, well that was the way I read it.
But it did make me think of something else. I know this is my really suspicious way of thinking and I am posing this as a theory and in no way saying that anyone involved in this on either side was thinking this. But it bears thinking about….
You and Feyma are well known on the Island and what you all did was honourable, so I am in no way critising what you did. But where there is poverty there can be desperation. And again I am not saying that this family did anything. I would hate to think what would happen if some other kind soul was targeted and approached by someone in need of assistance, offered them the assistance and was then accused of inappropriate behaviour.
It opens a whole ugly can of worms, It also makes me sad that you cannot just go out and do what you would really love to without thinking of repurcussions.
Hi Bob
This post and the comments following is an interesting study in how US and other countries culture has developed vs the Philippine culture. It was quite common when my mother was young (she's 75 now) for children to go live with relatives and work in their homes while attending school. My mother moved from a small country town to Washington DC to live with an aunt and attended school and after a couple of years returned home. Seems these days we automatically suspect someone who would make these offers. But as I have noticed by living and visiting the Philippines families are still trusting of people who want to help.
Dan your comment is so good. I remember when we as kids could walk around and play. You are so lucky to have a country where this is still possible. Trust here is an amazing thing. I would love to say that if I was in the same position as Bob, Fayma and their friends I would have done the same thing, I dont know. Maybe our "development" hasnt been such a good thing????
Hi Dr. Sponk Long – One thing that I think I did not mention about Mae is that about half of her hair has fallen out due to a lack of nutrition. If I was a parent who could not even feed my kid enough to keep her hair, I would probably have to let her go – for her own good. It would be tough, though, no doubt. Like you, I don't know the answer, but I do think that whatever can be done to improve Mae's life is what the parents should aim for.
Hi Carolynn – I am not sure how well known we are on the island, although we are known in the area where Mae lives, and I suspect that we will go there and visit her from time to time, as it is very near our place there. Indeed, you are correct that you must be very careful to make sure that you are not accused of impropriety in a case like this.
Hi Dan Mihaliak – Your comment is quite interesting, and very true. The culture in the USA has changed a lot in your Mom's years, and even in yours and mine.
Hi Bob- very good and honourable story, hopefully with a happy ending whatever happens.
My wife was one of those kids who were shuffled about to relatives while fairly young, and later, sent off to work for strangers, which ended up quite a nasty experience, ending with my wife running away and vowing to "Live in America!" Anyhow through hard work and persistence Alicia made it to Australia and has built a comfortable life here raising 3 kids along the way.
This is just one story, and as our local multicultural broadaster, has as their logo "six billion stories and counting."
Almost forgot to share my recent good luck.
One week ago I attended the local Philippine festival, where the major prize on the day was a return paid trip to Manila, and I was the lucky wiinner, so will be back in RP sooner than expected.
Hi anthony – I congratulate your wife on her hard work, and her accomplishment of achieving her goal! Feyma's story has similarities too!
Hi Bob I meant the mothers of course. But maybe she doesn't realize what a great oppertunity her daughter has been offered. I do hope it wasn't just being greedy, for the free help at home. Hopefully more great opportunities will appear for Mae.
Hi Guy – Yeah, that's what thought you meant, no problem. I don't think it came down to a matter of greed, because the family has plenty of other children who can take care of any household chores. I do hope that Mae has additional opportunities when she is a bit older, although I am fairly uncertain that such opportunities are few and far between.
hello again bob
just a thought just entered my mind.why couldent we have a mea fund so she could attend school in samal??? im sure its cheap enough.let me know what u think because i would donate to this fund. i bet her parents would be more accepting of this offer.
salamat bob 😉
Hi Ron W – I think that your thought is a really good thought, and very charitable. However, in this case, I don't think that it is the right thing to do. The reason is that Mae was offered a really good opportunity. At the time that she came with us, her siblings even begged to go too, but there was only an opportunity for one, so they had to be denied. However, Mae and her mother chose not to accept the opportunity. Today, Kevin and Bebing even took Mae to school so that she could check it out, but she refused. So, I feel like if she is offered free schooling on Samal, it is like telling her that opportunities are plentiful, and there is no sacrifice needed to avail of such an opportunity. I think it's an important life lesson for her to learn. It's something that pulls at my heart, and makes me feel bad too.
If others who read here feel differently, I am willing to listen and reconsider. I would be interested in hearing what everybody thinks about this.
Thank you for your kind offer, Ron.
WOW! That was a REALLY kind thing you guys did.
I can't believe the mom wants her back, I mean this is a great opportunity for her kid… Sigh….
Wish the world had more helpful people like you.
And Hi to Feyma, I saw her 2x on the 26'th, lol at Gaisano mall then Hola Espena.
OT a bit… 👿
I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this… BUT I wish people who don't have much would stop having so many children…
Why don't they just have 1 or 2 so they can afford to feed and educate their kids instead of having like 6 or 7 they can barely feed and educate, GRRR!
Kudos to your family and friends´ kind spirits Bob.
Your story reminds me of my parents who used to send less privileged
relatives to school, despite having 8 kids of their own. They would “adopt” from time to time, relatives who are either poor or orphaned and send them to school from elementary to college.
One is now a nurse working abroad, the other a chef d partie in a huge
foreign luxury liner, and another three are businesswomen. They are also extending the same generosity now to their poorer relatives. I continued this tradition too when I graduated from college and got a job.
Then, in 2005, when I migrated to Germany due to marriage, I was able to connect thru emails and the internet with fellow “kababayans” (countrymen) who all grew up in our town, Bansalan, Davao del Sur. Thanks to a fellow Bansaleno who created a website
(bansalan.com) as part of his school project in the U.S.
After the getting to know stage with fellow Bansalenos who are now living and working in different parts of the world, we all agreed to go beyond chatting and reminiscing our good old days. We decided to do something concrete for our town collectively as a way of giving back to God and our country. Our contributions are voluntary.
We ended up with projects like sending to school each year about 80 poor but deserving children, repainting our town´s old public gymnasium, with some contributing to the renovation of our town´s Catholic church, yearly medical missions, “gulayan sa masa” (organized veggie gardens for the poor masses), plus other community, livelihood and and environmental projects.
We do these projects, as much as possible, in cooperation with our local government and the local residents, as well as with international and local NGOs.
We all believed: “it is time to light a candle instead of continually cursing the dark.”
With the present diaspora of millions of Filipinos abroad (a lot of whom are doing relatively well), imagine how many more would benefit if the same “bayanihan spirit” (community cooperation) is harnessed and launched all over the Philippines!
Hi Cheryll Ann – I am sorry that we missed your birthday dinner! I hope you had a wonderful time, though. Speaking of Hola Espana, we just got home from there! Bought some cheese and some meats there.
Yeah, I am also so surprised that the mom wants her back now (actually, as I write this, she is already back), it's sad.
Hi Cheryll Ann – I have to say that I agree with your sentiments, so you won't get any flack from me. I am all for people having all the family they want, but they also have to be able to afford caring for each of those lives that they create.
Hi i.m. schneider – Thanks for sharing. I am familiar with Bansalan, I have been there many times, and I am so happy to hear about your project. You know, I wrote this not to get any kind of credit for trying to help this girl, but rather just to show a piece of the culture here. Honestly, when I help people like this, I feel that I have a selfish motive, because it makes me feel good! Feeling good myself is a huge part of wanting to help more! I told Feyma that I wish that I had an extra $1,000 per month to do things to help more people, imagine how good you would feel doing things like that!
Hi Bob- The story of Mae is kind of like what used to happen in the UK during the 20's and 30's when young women after completing school would go to work in service for some well off person at their large country manor house.They would usually commence working from 16 years and start helping in the kitchen till eventually they were promoted to cleaning and looking after the house itself.The only difference between Mae and my mother who entered working life in this way was my mother had already finished school.My mother also came from a large family 13 in all so even in those days of the mid 30's life was not easy.I can remember her telling me how difficult it was to leave home and her siblings but if you wanted to get on in life it had to be done.She would only manage to get back home once per year but she sent money to help her family.As you can see there was parallels then with what Mae is being offered now although the time span is nearly 80 years.
No one can decide whats best for you if its not what you really want.Just maybe the family despite having relatively nothing are close and splitting up until you and your party appeared never entered their mind.If they have nothing to compare their current situation with as they have never left the island then just maybe they are content with what they have.I shudder to think what will happen to them and their like when the bridge is eventually built to link to link Samal with the mainland.Allthough the offer made by Kevin and Bebing in our eyes was very kind it just proves that blood is thicker than water.
Regards.
Jim.
Hi jim – Very interesting to hear about your mother and her history some 80 years ago. I agree with you that nobody can make the decision for somebody like Mae. I just wish that she could get some benefits that would help her enjoy a better life.
bob
my nanay and tatay gave me up for adoption to her fleshly older sister who immigrated to hawaii in order for me to have a better life. this was my one chance for my own life and my parents seized the day for me. yes, it was really hard then and still now on my mom because i was her only daughter. but she put her own now in the moment selfishness and feelings out of the picture to foresee the future. nanay put her big girl pants on and dealt with it. we all had to suck it up and for her generosity, love, and foresight i am forever grateful. yes i do have a better life. thanks to my nanay.
Hi maria – Congratulations on how things worked out for you. Indeed, I am sure that it was quite a difficult thing to do, but it is so clear that it was all worthwhile, based on what you wrote! I'm glad that you have been able to gain a better life!
Bob, thank you for the story of the little girl. I have been a regular reader here now for several months and have learned many things about the culture there, and what I should or shouldn't do when it comes to sending or spending money. For six years I was the Chairman of the Board for the Dept of Social Services in my county and have seen many times parents will just not make the right choices for their children and its the children that suffer. But as one reader mentioned, maybe a few of your readers can make a difference in this girls life, through you, by sponcering her educational needs as long as her grades are good. If you decide to do that, I would like to join those that would be willing to help.Maybe if others feel that way, together, we can make a difference in her life, even if her Mother said NO the first time help was offered.
Hi Bob. I appreciate your frankness about one of the things that motivates you and relate to that being something of an embarrassment. In fact, your authenticity is something that I particularly appreciate about you and it carries over into the balance in your comments/replies, even when there is popular sentiment to not be balanced.
With all due respect, based on history, I think it is not realistic to expect the government or the organized church to be the leaders in matters of charity. The MEMBERS of the churches and local communities are best suited to deal with what is nearly always a local challenge/opportunity. What government has ever done (beyond water, sewer, and roads) anything but look after its own bureaucratic interests?
My personal battle cry is less government and more personal responsibility. That is good for me and it is good for the community.
I have taken from some of your comments in other posts that your are not a person of faith. I agree that it is your choice. You are accountable for your own choices and I for mine.
Perhaps because of being a person of faith, I appreciate i.m. schneider, when she said “it is time to light a candle instead of continually cursing the dark.”
I am reminded of what the Jesus Christ said as recorded in Matthew 25:35-40. "For I was hungry, and you gave me meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: I was naked, and you clothed me: I was sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when did we see you hungry, and fed you? or thirsty, and gave you drink? When did we see you a stranger, and took you in? or naked, and clothed you? Or when did we see you sick, or in prison, and came to you? And the King shall answer and say to them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
In Mae's defense, from your comments, it seems that she did take the initiative to seek you folks out and at some level demonstrated her desires. Who knows how much courage it likely took but at the very least her instincts were correct.
I would like to join those who are willing to offer to join in the support for Mae to go to school. This is a life lesson that she may need to learn but the cost of this lesson is much too great for a thirteen year old (especially in her circumstances) to bear and a light burden for those of us, more fortunate, to not try to help her and her family to mitigate.
🙂
P.S. I was watching your Christmas 2007 videos over the weekend and admire you, your family and friends for putting your faith into practice. Whatever your motives, it helped those folks and your friends children experience a valuable lesson.
Hi Joseph Avery – Thanks for your comment, and your offer of help. I appreciate your kindness.
Hi R L Graham – Thank you for your kind comment. I am not sure what I said in the comments in the past that would give the impression that I am not a person of faith, but that is not true. I am a person of faith, although I am not overly religious. Thank you, though, for your generosity and comment.
Hi Bob,Unfortunately i cannot offer any advice or comment as i have very little experience in such matters.However i cannot help wondering,maybe Mae does not want to go to school,regards Chas.
Hi chas – Anything is possible. The only thing I know for sure is that last Friday, Mae was VERY excited about being able to return to school. By Monday morning, she was refusing to go to school. I don't know if she was not wanting to go to school, was afraid to go back, or just missed her mother.
Hi Cheryll Ann#40,I agree with you 100%.Sadly, the problem of large families is fed by the RC churches reluctance to approve birth control.In Italy there is a lobby group that have been lobbying the Vatican for years to bring the religion into the 21st century,citing the misery that large families impose on the poor.I read last week there is a similar lobby group in Phils that had a parade in Manila last week.They are trying to push the Phils Govnt to put pressure on the catholic church in Phils to encourage birth control.Will it ever happen,i don't know.It also raises another question,if birth control was allowed by the church,would the poor be able to afford it.There may have to be a govt program of free birth control for the poor.However this is a huge problem in all RC dominated 3rd world countries,regards Chas.
Hi chas – The United States Government used to give free condoms to people in the Philippines. However, they stopped doing it a few years ago. I think part of the reason is that few people would use them, thus there was little demand.
I read this note a few hours ago and then I walked away from the computer to ponder the idea of it all. At first I thought as many do on here about what this girl had missed out on and what her mother may have done to end what could have become something great. I for one would like to think that this meeting of a little girl on an island was a great meeting by chance and a meeting that somehow will come to more then just that. How great it is, as some have said here, to have opened the eyes of a little girl who never saw a car ferry, who never had ice cream and who never saw the oppertunities of life itself. Maybe now the greatest thing that has happened here is the eye opening affect of a young lady, who from that day, realizes there is something beyound Samal Island and the little bit of this world she has known so far. I cannot think of a greater thing to take someone and though not change their life, but show them a step forward and into a world that exist outside of what they may know now. Think of it this way, Bob has said this is where he will build his new home at and now if nothing else he has already befriended many and also a little girl with no thoughts, no ideas and maybe no hope………but now she can talk of her hopes and dream of what will be and also know that someday soon a friend who once showed here the other side of the world will be living just down the road a bit.
Hi Tim Walker – What a well thought out and eloquently written comment. You have some real nice thoughts there, and things for all of us to consider!
I hope to see more posts and stories like this one from you Bob. I live an unusual life here in the States and I soon will be living a large portion of my time there in Davao City as well. I gave up alot of my youth to become who I am and what I do here. I can now only hope that I find people there, like Mae, who love to talk about what is and what could be. Some in the Philippines look at their lives as though they have never acheived what they wanted, I'd like to think they've lived a life that many of us here would gladly exchange our fortune for a little bit of simplicity and a whole lot of love………….thanks again for a great post!!
Hi Tim Walker – Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. I hope that I can continue to make a post from time to time that holds special meaning. It's not always easy to do that, but it is something that I strive for. 😉
Bob, I apologize for the mischaracterization. Not sure where I drew that conclusion. I understand the distinction you make and hope that I did not offend you. Sorry!
Hi R L Graham – Don't worry…. no offense! 😆
We are back in Digos now from our trip to Samal and Davao. Bringing Mae to Digos did not work out as we had hoped. Mae's mother called and wanted her to come back. Mae told us a few times that she wanted to do this and go back to school. Her mother originally said she wanted a better life for Mae and wanted her to go to school. Her father was sure this was the best thing for Mae. We took her shopping for school supplies and made sure she had plenty to eat while she was here, but she missed her mom and didn't want to stay. I hope things work out for her and also hope she has another chance to get back to school.
Hi Kevin – It was a good plan to help Mae. Unfortunately, it didn't go as expected or planned. I wish her the best.