A few weeks ago Bob and I went somewhere in downtown Davao riding on a jeepney. When we hopped in the jeepney, we noticed a young and beautiful girl. Bob immediately talked to her and asked her name. The girl said that her name is Sakura. Just by looking at Sakura, we could tell that she’s not a full blooded Filipino, but half breed from other Asian country. She’s so light skin. Her grandmother (she’s sitting next to Sakura) confirmed to us that Sakura is a mestiza, her dad is a Japanese. She’s 8 years old. She’s a shy girl, but at least she was answering Bob when she was asking questions.
While Bob and Sakura were talking I was also talking to her grandmother. I asked the grandma if Sakura was born in Japan? The grandmother said that Sakura was born here in the Philippines and never been to Japan and never met her dad. I guess when the mom knew that she was pregnant with Sakura, she decided to just stay here in the Philippines for good after giving birth. Sakura was not supported financially by the dad.
I don’t know if the mom just didn’t tell the father that he had a child here in the Philippines. It is sad to see a young and beautiful kid struggle in life and to think she could have a better life if she had been supported by the dad. She’s studying in the public school. The grandparents are also struggling to support her, but they are working very hard to support her. I don’t really know the real story of the dad not supporting Sakura, and I don’t know the real reasons why the mom did not ask for support from the father. Hopefully later Sakura will have the courage to find her dad, or the dad will find Sakura.
So I thought that they were all living together, the mom and the grandparents and Sakura. The grandmother said that ever since Sakura was born, the grandmother and the grandfather were the one taking care of her. The mom will support financially but its the grandparents were the one raising her. When the mom got married a few years ago. The mom wants Sakura to move in with her and her husband. To her surprised the grandparents of Sakura didn’t allow the mom to bring Sakura with her. The grandparents were just to scared that the new husband might do something to Sakura. You know the horror stories sometimes of the step-dad abuse the stepdaughter.
Honestly we can understand both sides. The grandparents want to protect Sakura, but, what if the husband of the mother is a nice guy too. They didn’t give him a chance to bond with the kid. But on the other hand, what if he is one of those lunatic guys too that’s abusive to the kid. Really we don’t know what’s going on with them. They are the one knows what’s going on with their lives.
Really I was just sad for her. I wish to God that she could have a better life. I mean she had a pretty good life with the grandparents, I know she was really loved by them. I know also that there is more to life than material things. But what I mean also for her to go to a nice school, eating really good food, living in a nice house, with a few gadgets. Don’t take me wrong the grandparents gave her what they could. It was just sad that the mom did not raise her and she will never know her dad ever. Just by talking to the grandmother I don’t think they will ever reach out to the dad. Really my heart goes out to her. She really seems a very nice and well behaved kid. I told her before we got off from the jeepney, for her to study hard and be a good girl always. I really wish her well. I gave her one of my business card and told her if ever she needs anything to contact me. Geez, I really hope she will get a hold of me. I want her to know my kids.
Good luck to you my new friend. All the best!
hi Feyma
what a lovely posting and i as a stepdad i can under stand how the grandparents may feel about a new man in the moms life but thanks to my wife my stepkids love and take to me more and there own dad i dont now how u feel about that mate the last time i was over there and that was just this year my wife big boy was down with us and it did not take me long to work out he loves his old step dad and i wont u to know it did take me a day or two to get over he him call me dad and by the way he is now 18 so this is the first time in 6 years i have seen him the last tiem was when he was just a little boy and he know ii am not the same as his dad and thay know i love there mom and after the things thay did see there own dad do to mom it as taken a lot off hard work from joy to get them to love and trust me mate…………..peter martin tassie
Hi Peterjoy – Thank you. I’m glad you had the time to bond with your step kids. I’m happy for you. That’s one of the reason too that I wrote the article thinking that a lot of the guys here (readers & commenter) married to Filipina’s that had kids before marriage, and the Pinay married to the guys that has kids too, and heard good thing about it.
Bob & I been a step parent for our nieces and nephews for almost a decade now. We are happy to be one. We’ve been treating Jean and Nicole as our daughters. To be honest we loved our Jean & Nicole same as we loved our boys. They really are a blessings to us. Our boys treat and loved them as their sisters. Whatever the boys have Jean & Nicole will have the same. I hope it stays that way.
Good to see you again mate. Take care!
Feyma,
Nice article and I think the mother’s decision should override grandparents unless there is some indication of abuse from the step father.
Please also note that the term “half breed” in your article is very demeaning to some. A person’s ancestry is not a breed, so she is half Philippina and Japanese.
Hi Don – Thank you for the thought.
I can understand what you are saying. I didn’t mean any harm to anybody when saying half breed. As I myself have kids that’s half breed of half Filipino and half American. If I offended anybody on that term I apologize. That was never my intention on hurting anyone’s feelings here.
That reminds me of a friend of mine. She was really my best friend when I was living in the States. One day we went shopping, when paying, the cashier was commenting how good looking my kids. She said “half American and half Oriental people really makes good babies”. My friend was really upset and I could see in her eyes the anger. I asked her what is wrong with the word Oriental people, she told me in an angry way that we are not a rug, so please don’t call me oriental. Wow, that was a wake up call for me. From that moment on, if she’s around me and my other friends we never ever mention the word oriental again. But in all honesty I wasn’t offended by the word Oriental because I am from the Orient. So that makes me an Oriental people. Anyway, each of us has different opinion and I respect that.
Thank you for the comment and good to see you here!
“Oriental” refers to material things from the Orient. Some people are offended when they are called oriental. Asian can be used for people or things, and the more politically correct term when referring to a person.
Hi Miss August- I remember you asked someone not long ago what it would be like to retire in Belize. Having just recently returned from a cruise of the Eastern Caribbean that included stops in Cozumel, Roatan, Grand Cayman as well as Belize, I can tell you that you do NOT want to retire in that country. The country is very poor. Belize City itself has only THREE traffic lights, and there is not much to speak of in the way of infrastructure. The two lane road to Altun Ha, the site of the Mayan ruins is rutted and pot-holed. The province of Zambales is probably more developed than the entire country. People have to cross the border into Mexico to shop. I asked a local (they speak English) that if I were to retire there, where would I get quality medical care. The answer was: Yucatan, Mexico. I thought I’d passed this info along to you since you asked about Belize as a possible retirement place.
If we could stay on topic here, it would be appreciated.
Please use the forum for off topic posts.
Hi Feyma,
just tell your friend, most western people do NOT know the dictionary meaning of oriental, until now i dont, however socially, it simply means Asian. I think miss August refered to its meaning is material items? Well dont worry it does not mean this, as far as most people are concerned. Oriental EXACTLY simply means asian.
The mother should have made the decision to take the girl with her and give the new husband the opportunity to become a father to her daughter. Not all step-father are molesters and abusers. We don’t know the story about the biological father, maybe he was told and didn’t want anything to do with the child. If the mother didn’t tell the biological father that she was pregnant, hopefully someday she will tell Sakura who her father is. Maybe, she doesn’t know who the biological father is and that’s why she left Japan. We will never know.
Hi Miss August – Yes I have to agree on that. They should have given the step father a chance to know Sakura. Oh well, they know him, they must have a reason for it. I also agree that not all step father are bad. I have known a lot of step dad/parents that treats the step-kids well. I have few in the family circle that the wife had kids from the previous marriage and the kids were treated well by the step-dad and all of us the family.
Yeah, I just did not ask if the biological dad knows about Sakura. But hopefully someday he will meet his beautiful daughter. Hopefully I will have the part 2 on this story. I’m hoping that me & family will meet Sakura again someday and know whats going on with her life.
Anyway, good to see you here again. Have a great day!
Feyma,
The beautiful thing I got from this story is the willingness of you and your husband to potentially become involved with this girl, a complete stranger. I hope she contacts you someday because I know you will help her. Thanks for your kindness and thanks for sharing this story with us.
Hi OverTime – Thank you so much for the really nice comment. I’m touched of what you said. Don’t worry when time that me and Sakura will meet again I will share it here. Will have photos too.
Again I really appreciate your kind word. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Take care!
Mrs Feyma,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Again Bob and you have stepped forward to help a child. Much kudos to you both. Looking forward to reading about your upcoming annual Christmas Giveaway. Take care and always stay safe.