When Bob and I plan on moving here in the late 90’s, I was the one that’s leery about it beeing Bob and the kids never experience the lifestyle of living here in the Philippines. When I confided our plans on moving here to my Filipina friends they immediately say “Are you guys crazy” or “Are you guys out of your mind”. Most of my friends are fearful too upon knowing that we are moving back to Mindanao. As they say the war zone place. Hearing them say those lines, I was so scared for my family again.
When our moved finally happened in 2000. I felt emotionally mixed with excitement and fear. I was so excited to be here to be with my family and friends again that I left behind for a long time. The excitement was just shortlived. I was shocked that I did not adjusted well here and also our second child too, at that time he was 3 years old. His so close to Granny. Bob and our oldest son they did good here. After a month of living here in the Philippines I am already ready to head back to the States. I felt I don’t belong here anymore. Just seeing lots of my family and neighbors look so bad because they had no money to buy food. Seeing lots of kids in the street breaks my heart. I can’t stand it. Before we came here we decided to lived close to my family, later I found out that was a big mistake. No privacy in the house, they will just stop by our house unannouce. I would really get mad. I would have understand it if they didn’t have phone, that’s one thing I notice here every family has cell phone. They think then I am better than them, which i don’t.
Some people also thinks since we just came from the States we brought a ton of money. They will sell all kinds of stuff to us. Some they would like to borrow money. I got tired of it. Finally, what stopping them in coming to us for stuff, before they could even tell me I already told them that Bob and I don’t have money. I guess, they got the message eversince I didn’t hear anybody asking then. Sometime, here you have to be tough(in a nice way) so that they will know what you want. You guys will know what I am saying when time comes for you to move here, taking vacation is different than living here.
Thank you everybody for the warm welcome.
Hi Feyma,
I'm Liklik, Bill Paul's wife. Bill wrote to you a couple of days ago. I understand what you mean about some people in the Philippines thinking we have tons of money if we've been in America. I think it stems from some Filipinos who visit the Philippines. They spend money like they grow on trees here in America.When I made my first visit back in Cebu after 6 years here in the US, they thought I am so poor here in the US because I just stayed home with my family and enjoy them.
Liklik
Keep writing, Feyma. I truly appreciate your sincerity and honesty in this regard. Best regards.
Hello Feyma, my name is Peter and my wife is Gina, we are from London/Bacolod City, we live in the UK and I am happy to have made a friend online from your husband Bob, we are in communication about life there, I read your thoughts to my wife and she said oh "That is typical and sounds right" she said, that may happen to us, but she assured me that she will not allow her family to put pressure on me, but I did say, i thought that living there, is not the same as being on vacation, so I can really understand what you did say, thanks for sharing your experience with us, we enjoyed reading it.
Hi Feyma,
I like your message. I wish to have an interaction with you in the future. Your husband is doing a great job. I admire your courage. You are inspiring me. Thank you. More power.
Hi Liklik,
It's difficult to explain to people when they don't understand what we are talking about. If ever we said we don't have money, they just would not believe it. Even if you didn't have job in the States as long as you're from America and your husband is white it's automatic for them that you are RICH. It's really amazing how filipinos thinks sometimes.
Hi Jul,
Thank you so much for your nice comment.
Hi Peter and Gina,
I hope to see you guys soon living here in the Philippines. Maybe you guys might end up living here in Davao someday. Goodluck to both of you.
Hi Letty,
Hey instead of be inspired come now and live here in the Philippines. It's a nice place, it's a paradise you know?
Hi Feyma,
I know. For years I have tried to understand how we (as Filipino) think. I learned that there's nothing we can do to change how they(some Filipinos who haven't been anywhere but in the Philippines) think and us who's been on the other side think. But it's great that you have adjusted well. I just remembered, I had a very close friend from Davao when I was in highschool. I went to the University of San Carlos school for girls and we lost contact when I went to college. She went to a different university and I stayed on the same school for college. Hope I can find her when we go visit the Philippines next winter.
Good job, by the way.
Liklik
That was a nice precaution. When I retire to the Phil on or about the end of 2007 I will be firm with my – " I DON'T HAVE MONEY"……… One major reason that I will retire in the Phil is to stretch our retirement dollar. I will go back to my hometown in Laguna. We will visit Panabo, Davao. One of our friends here in the states will go back there and we will have a chance of seeing Davao. We heard Davao is a beautiful city. Hope to see you in the future.
Hi Liklik,
I hope you find your bestfriend in highschool. Goodluck to you.
Hi Ross,
It would be wise for you to spend your retirement here, much cheaper to live here. I've never been to Laguna, but heard from people they said it's nice there. If you happen to come to Panabo to visit your friend maybe we could meet up then.
Hi Feyma, as I mentioned in my other post, Jim and I are retiring back in Bukidnon next year. Jim is so excited but I've got mixed feelings. Like you said, coming for holidays is not the same as living there. I'm not worried about safety because I think it's quite safe where we are but I'm apprehensive about fitting back into my family, friends and the community. I've been away for over 20 years and the town has changed and a lot of people I once knew have moved away and new people have moved in. We built our house in 2005 and since then have been coming back every six months. We noticed that in our lastest visit late last year, people have started to get used to seeing us and are now treating us like locals, which is good (I think!). I agree with you that there is a perception that people from abroad have money and I think that the best solution is to be firm and consistent. No doubt that Jim and I have been called "kuripot" behind our backs at times but then you will soon know who your real friends are. Of course, next year will be another story. Cheers
Hi Marilou,
I understand your uneasiness in moving back here. With regards to friends and family I tell you it's not easy for me to be with them. I'm not talking bad about them, it's just that I'm not that little girl anymore that they used to know when I came back. I had different outlook in life now than they do.
Hey Bob and Feyma: I will be leaving Idaho on Monday 21st of Nov. Marrying a nice lady and will be living in Davao City. I hope we can hook up sometime. I may need some website help. Thanks Ronald
We’d be happy to meet Ron. Just let me know if I can help you with your website.
I have lived in Orion, Bataan and Metro Manila. I now live in Angeles City. My wife, son and I have had to move to get away from her family. They just wouldn’t leave us alone and were very dishonest.
Hi Feyma,
I’m currently residing and working here in the UK.
Sometime next year we are thinking of moving back to the Philippines for good.
Our target place to retire is Davao as recommended by most people we met.
I can relate to your post regarding issues with friends and relatives. Most of my families and relatives are in Leyte so I could quiet think ahead a measure from being abused with emotional blackmails.
I’m just wondering if you could please help us with information regading schooling for our daughter Holly who is turning 12 years old this coming August. She is currently on Year 7..she doesn’t speak neither understand a single filipino words…Do you think she can be accepted on any private school in the Philippines? International School in the Philippines is far too rip off so we won’t consider it. All we want for our daughter is to have the basic knowledege on her high school then we can use the money for her university which is more important at the end of the day.
Hope you can give me some advise and thanks for this helpful website.
Best regards,
Geri