Live in the Philippines

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Asking I’m Sorry

Language Learning, Philippine Culture / by

What?  Asking I’m sorry?  What happened to Bob today?  That doesn’t make sense.

OK, calm down, don’t get too worried.  I haven’t blown a gasket or anything.  As I’ve said many times on this site, the Philippines and the rest of the English speaking world are separated by a common language, borrowing from a famous quote.  The way that the English is used here is not the same as Americans use it.  It’s just like how American English is different from British English and so on.  OK, perhaps Philippine English is a little more different, but that’s OK.

One phrase that I had to hear a number of times before I came to understand what it really meant was when somebody told me that they want to “ask for I’m sorry.”  What?

I don’t recall the exact circumstances where I heard that for the first time.  I think, though, that I was at a restaurant.  I ordered some food, and somehow my order was not correct.  I got the wrong food, or maybe it was not cooked the way that I asked.  I was still new here and had not gotten into the culture much yet.  Yeah, OK… I was the ugly American, what can I say?  Well, I got upset with the waiter and voiced my anger.  My food was taken and the proper item was brought to me.

Well, then the waiter got me more upset.  He told me:

Sir, I want to ask for I’m sorry.

“What?” I said, “you are asking me to apologize to you?”  “Yes, sir,” he told me.  “Well, there is no way I am going to apologize to you, you are the one who messed up, you should apologize to me!”  “Yes, sir, I am asking for I’m sorry.”

Well, it didn’t sit well for me.  The way he said it, I thought that he was asking me to say “I’m sorry” to him.  To be frank, I probably did owe him an apology since I got mad at him over something that was probably just a communication problem between us.  He probably didn’t properly understand me when I told him what I wanted to order.  But, I sure wasn’t going to apologize to him!  I was in the right, after all! Or so I thought!

Well, I have heard this phrase a number of times over my years here, and now, thankfully, I understand what it means.

A person “asking for I’m sorry” is not asking for you to apologize.  That is how he is offering his apology to you!  Yeah, in English it doesn’t make sense, but that is just how they say it here!

Oh my….  talk about being separated by a common language! It’s important to learn how the language is used here if you decide to live here.  Sometimes, what you hear and understand can be the exact opposite of what is intended.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Bob
    Thats a good one.
    I could see myself going on a tear in a resteraunt and "snapp" on him out of ignorance.
    I guess every new American that spends extended time in RP goes thru some Ugly American episodes. Hopefully you don't cause any one to loose face as this could back to bite you in A–.

  2. Hi Neal – Ha ha… Yes, I do believe that we all have "ugly American moments" when we move here. It is virtually unavoidable. In my case, I have built up enough followers through my websites, I often tell Feyma that I have to be very careful… if I have an ugly American moment in public, and anybody has a video camera (even a cellphone with camera), I might see my moment on YouTube the next day! 😯

  3. Hi Bob – Heard that phrase for the first time in Baguio, so it isn't a "local" thing! It also was in a restaurant.

    I wasn't feeling too hungry and asked for the fried egg sandwich that was on the menu. The waiter returned a few minutes later to say that they were out of eggs, and would I care for something else? My next selection was a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich. A few minutes later, ditto. Seems they were out of peanut butter, but would be willing to substitute mayonnaise if I wished. No, I didn't wish for that!

    I asked him to go back to the kitchen and see what the cook could make in sandwich form that was light. After five minutes, he returned and told me that, though they were out of eggs, the cook used the last of the eggs to make egg-salad. I said, "Great! I'll have an egg-salad sandwich on white bread." (Didn't want to push the bread selection trouble button!) The waiter then asked if I'd like the bread toasted, and I said that toast would be great, too.

    After twenty minutes, out comes my egg-salad sandwich with the old,
    "I want to ask you I'm sorry, sir, but the cook couldn't make the toaster work." Sure enough, the white bread was fresh but not toasted. I reassured the waiter that all was well and began my feast. I dared not take matters any further when my first bite revealed that my egg-salad consisted of chopped hard-boiled eggs and mayonnaise!

  4. Bob,

    Wow, that one is just trouble, because it's mostly likely to come up in an 'emotional' moment. Good to know, though, I guess one hint is that it's such a peculiar phrase. But I'm sure english proficiency varies widely. At least you now know how to order in bisaya. BTW, how did you finally get the true meaning of the phrase?

  5. Hi Paul – Ha ha… I've seen that situation so many times! Out of this, out of that… So sorry sir, I want to ask for I'm sorry. Ha ha…

  6. Hi rc – Yep, now I always order in Bisaya when I'm in the restaurant! Sometimes you get a little special service by doing that because the waiter is so impressed that you can speak the language!

    I never really found out the meaning of the phrase in any certain way. Just heard it enough times that I figured out what they meant.

  7. Hi Bob,
    Ha Ha nice story,i think many problems are caused by simple mis understanding.

    I just thought of one i can use when they bring the bill"I want to ask you i'm sorry,i'm out of money" LOL.

    regards Chas.

  10. Hi Tommy – I am not sure I understand your comment. It seems you are saying that I should have understood. I mean, when a guy says "I want to ask for I'm sorry" to me that sounds like "I want to ask for an apology" which means that he wants me to apologize to him.

    Perhaps I read your comment wrong.. and possibly because of the "wink" you were just joking… 😀

  11. again Bob i have a strange sence of humor sorry yes it was a joke and i have made a game out of disecting taglish or bislish also relating to language i copied a few quotes from my blog that i thought were funny that are with the "huh" theme of yoour post today …

    25. Some folks also ‘creatively’ redesign English to be more efficient.? The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, ?says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign ….. House Fersallarend’ (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two will do?

    26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because? We are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive?. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.

  12. Hi Tommy – Ha ha.. I particularly like #26. I have an argument with it, though… I thought that the US Govt had already patented that TV show.. are they paying royalties?

  13. Thats Funny
    on Valentines my 3 year old filam neice said to her farther Daddy happy valentines day for you. So I guess I can relate to that.

  15. Hi Bob – If I'm correct the real interpretation is "Please forgive me" or they are asking for your forgiveness for whatever they have done to you.
    Kind regards.
    Jim.

  16. Oh,my gosh, BoB i didn't hear that until today, i think in every island , we have our own version of philippine english since batangas city is quite close to Manila we speak the same but i didn't hear anyone in my province say that, i thought he also ask you to apologized to him, actually we normally say " i'm sorry sir" or "i would like to apologize sir" …..

  19. When Melanie first came to the USA. I was very confused in this same way. I would always ask, "and when you say blah blah blah exactly what do you mean by that?" She would say it in another way, and eventually I would understand what she was trying to express.

    Melanie would take me word for word just as you did Bob with the waiter, and it would cause lots of miscommunications. It has taken some effort, and some time to get around this……i2f….John

  20. I had a "similar" experience the second time I went to the Philippines.

    I was about 21 years old at the time and had met a girl in Manila and we decided to meet up another day and have some lunch. I waited for her at a restaurent, but as I had been up late the day before and had almost just woken up, I wasnt really hungry. I apologized for not being hungry and asked her, if there was anything she wanted. Thats when she replied:

    "I lost my apetite when I saw you"

    Usually, I would think of that as an insult, along the lines of "You're ugly as hell and it makes me want throw up". I thought that perhaps she had seen an american soap and she thought it was a compliment. I didnt really know what to do of myself though. Later on, I heard from other people that it was indeed a compliment in the philippines and means that the person likes you – and she did express it later that day. Any of you heard that one?

  21. A few days ago I had "fallen in line" at a checkout or "cashiers office" in the department store Gaisano. I had been in line for 35 minutes and I was only halfway to the checkout, so I decided to go to the checkout and find out what the delay was. There were 4 girls on one register. I said can we get another register open, this is ridiculous. She said " a whale Sir", I said did you call me a whale? I am not a fat blubbery fish!! She said "No Sir, a while". I replied oh a while, you mean "wait for a while and I will get more help". Well at least we understood each other lol.

    On another occasion my fiance said that she would "not waste her time with me". When I heard that I was taken aback, why would she be so unkind when I just bought a new pair of jeans that she picked for me and she was saying how good I looked in them? After some discussion and some rearranging of a couple of words I finally understood what she meant lol.

    I really had to listen hard and and not get angry when a few misplaced words has changed the meaning of a sentence. Another life lesson in the Pines.

  22. One of the best ones I remember I saw in a youtube video comedy made by what appeared to be university students in Mindanao. One person wanted one of the others to turn on the kitchen light, it was spoken as " Turn On The Off ".

    I did a lot of reading and printed communication with people in The Philippines before comming to visit and learned that sentence structure can differ. Sometimes re-arranging some of the words can clarify things although this is not always 100% accurate.

    Another thing I have noticed is that many times when a word is used you may have to think about the word as it would appear as if looked up in a dictionary and used as in the true dictionary definition. When engaged in conversation with someone there either via internet or in person if I have the slightest doubt about something I will rephrase what I am saying keeping it as " simple " as possible leaving out any extra words that I can think of. I have found that to be helpful. As one of my filipino friends described it " Simple English ", or another said " Filipino English ".

    Going to the UK can at times, be quite amusing with some of the differences in word usage and sentence structure. " Go to the Car Park behind the shop and get a Trolley on the way into the shop " ( Park in the lot behind the store and get a shopping cart on your way into the store ).

    One of my favorite American ones is about a large sandwich on french or italian type bread. Where I live it is called a " Wedge " drive a few miles away into the state of Connecticut and it is known as a " Grinder ". Drive a couple of hours in the opposite direction into Pennsylvania and its a " Hoagie ". In New York City and elsewhere it can also be called a " Sub " ( short for submarine because the shape of the sandwich kind of resembles one ). Can you imagine how confusing this can be to someone from another part of the world ?

    I read in the opening introduction to a dictionary , " The English Language is one of the most far flung languages in the world ".

    I am still trying to figure out the Filipino yes means no and no means yes. I may have encountered that but not have noticed it, at least I don't remember any confusion over it,……..yet LOL

  23. My phrase for what you are calling an " ugly American Moment " is " Kano Kulture " or, " My Kano Culture must be showing " which at times when visiting Philippines I have had to remind myself to be patient, that I am not at home.

  24. 🙂 your safe Kuya Bob,

    mindanao bob ugly American moment site:youtube.com – did not match any documents

    Just thought you should know

  25. Language barriers between two cultures can be like the doctor explaining why you feel bad or a mechanic telling you what happened to the inside of your engine…

    Heres a good acronym for keeping things simple:

    K.I.S.S
    Keep It Simple Stupid

  26. Hi imagine – Oh yes, especially at the beginning of a cross-border relationship, there are plenty of opportunities for mis-communication. I can attest to that!

    BTW, if you don't mind my asking…. you always sign off with "i2f" – I am unfamiliar with that…. could you enlighten me?

  27. Hi Adamite – Hmm….. I've never heard of that one before! I would indeed be quite taken aback if somebody told me that they lost their appetite when they saw me! 😯

  28. Hi Boss – You've got a few new ones for me there! I guess Iligan has it's own sayings. I'm especially intrigued at the "not waste her time with you" comment…. what was that all about?

  29. Hi Bob – Well, Yes does not necessarily mean no, and no does not necessarily mean yes… sometimes either of them can mean maybe! Ha ha… you just never know! 😆

  33. Try explaining why fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing.

    How about "That's what I know" and certainly when you travel don't forget your luggages.

  35. Dear Bob,

    Asking I'm sorry reminds me of some of the Pennsylvania Dutch
    expressions near where I live in the US such as "throw
    the horse over the fence some hay."

    I appreciate your website and especially the reader's comments.

    Dave LaBarr

  36. Hi David – Thanks for stopping by and for your comment. I never had much chance to learn about the Pennsylvania Dutch, haven't lived in the part of the country. I lived for a while in Louisiana, and many cultural things here in the Philippines remind me of the Cajun culture in Louisiana.

    Glad that you enjoy the site!

  38. I’m not a stranger to the embarrassing language barrier incidents. My first years in the US were filled with these funny little incidents. You could imagine how scared a promdi like me when my 9th grade, algebra teacher decided that we’re going to use a computer to complete a certain assignment. Concerned about the fact that I had never used a computer in my entire life, I asked a classmate to, “shut up the computer for me.” I felt so stupid after realizing what I just said. Needless to say, I was embarrassed. And there were the times when I was left wondering,” What did I do wrong, or why did s/he seem very upset of what I’ve said, or what was so funny?” I have now lived in the US for almost ten years and I still sometimes find myself in a similar predicament.

  40. Hi Leilani – Oh yeah, I have similar incidents still after living here for more than 9 years. Barely a day goes by without learning something new!

  41. Happy Father's Day Sir BoB. To answer ur question. My fiance picked out a pair of jeans and i bought them. She said I looked so good in them that she would not waste her time with me?? After some discussion and word rearranging she meant to say, I looked so good in the jeans that she would rush out with me to show me to her friends lol.
    Today in Gaisano again, I asked the saleslady, "What time do you close?" She looked at me blankly and after a belated pause she said " I am open person Sir, I not close". Well I was glad for her!
    I don't know too many misconstrued expressions, just heaps of misunderstandings, because not many people speak fluent English in Iligan.
    Some things I have heard….
    Lets gone….probably meaning lets go
    My name is name….my name is loi loi
    I eat for you….. probably meaning come and eat with me.
    What can you do for me…….meaning to say what can I do for you.
    You look buy for me Joe……meant to say what are you looking to buy.

  42. Hi Boss – Ha ha… Happy Father's Day, my friend. You have some good ones there! I've been to Iligan many times, and never experienced any language problems there. I'll have to pay closer attention next time I'm in town!

  43. My Bob, this is such a good post. There were so many times with Josey that I did not understand. And now with Merlin it is even worse. She much more patient than I. But this blog has helped me again. Oh I did not write but I am an addict of lip. I have learned so much. I am still going to live in the philippines but now in Leyte, where my brother is going to live. I will be there on the 3rd and meet with my brother that is there now for 6 weeks. Ever want to kniow about Leyte let me know. I have hard time from net finding much about it. Other than Mc Aurther landed there during world war II

  44. Kuya Bob, Happy father’s day og sa tanan nga mga tatay dinhi! I found the following mistranslations online which I first read on 29 December 2006, but could not find the original source/article. I want to make it clear that I did not write this article and I want to thank all the anonymous sources. I just want to share this to all LiP readers and hopefully this will make you laugh 🙂

    Information booklet about using a hotel air-conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

    A laundry in Rome:
    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HER AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

    Doctor’s Office, Rome:
    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

    Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
    TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS-WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES

    Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

    At a Budapest zoo:
    PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

    In a Nairobi Restaurant:
    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER

    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

    In a Japanese cemetery:
    PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

    Hotel, Acapulco:
    THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

    Hotel, Japan:
    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

  46. Hi Leilani – Ha ha… yes, every country has it's own unique kind of English, don't you think? I am sure that the British make jokes about American English too.

  47. My British friends certainly do, many of them think Americans are " Crazy " while many Americans think British people are " Eccentric " LOL. At least that is the way one of my English friends described it to me.

  49. Salvage was coined by the NPA (Communist in the Philippines. It was NPA code word to salvage the town from a corrupt politician. NPA will assasinate the politician, therefore salvaging the town. Somehow, somewhere, sometime, Filipinos are using the salvage word to kill or murder.

    I really enjoy this Asking for I'm sorry article!! Very funny!!!

  50. Gaisano is not a place for English. Gaisano is a place for the masses. It is really sad that the Philippines is losing it English proficiency. I think quite alot Filipinos translate their spoken language to English with funny results.

    Thumbs up for this article!!

  51. i always have my wife confirm the order in cebuano when eating out! but its not really a big deal most filipinos understand basic english if you speak clearly and slowly with no slang. i usually order it in cebuano ,cebuano uses alot of spanish words anyway so i am used to that!lechon baboy, lechon manok,fried calamares(nukos),steamed rice,baby back ribs,sweet and sour fish-basic oreders ,pancit,dem sum. cheeseburger,pizza,san miguel i keep it basic.

  54. Hi mike – That's great… I just have a question… if you order in Cebuano… why do you need your wife to confirm the order in Cebuano? 😯

  55. Hi Bob,

    Most Middle Class Iliganons go to Cagayan De Oro(2 hrs by bus or less) or Cebu (overnight ferry trip) to shop. The old gaisano sells cheap but not good quality clothes and is packed with people. It is a hassle to shop the last time I was there. The new gaisano mall is promising. Manila and Cebu dumps their old stock to Davao and Cagayan de Oro while CDO and Davao dumps their old stock to Ozamiz, Iligan and other smaller cities. This is how it is in the Philippines for a long time. Manila and Cebu are the HUB and get things first.
    This arrangement make companies survive a struggling economy for years.

    I really like reading Expats experiences in the Philippines. I think retirement market is a good thing for the Philippine government to develop and make laws to protect expats and expedite their stays. Japanese, South Korean, European, Americans, Canadian, and Australian retiress are huge markets. It will bring billions of dollars revenue but again knowing the Philippines is like a PAGONG (turtle) in this business thing.

    Kudos to you Bob and other Expats to be enjoying the Philippines and at the same time trying to understand the Philippine culture.

    Toting

  56. Hi Toting – Thanks for your nice comment. I have a very good friend who is (I would estimate) an upper-middle class resident of Iligan. You are 100% correct that his family goes to CdO to do their shopping most of the time. I believe that everything you are saying is accurate, because it jives with what I know.

    Thanks again!

  57. i didnt correctly type what i was thinking,i meant to say if my wife isnt with me at the time i will try my cebuano out,(i am no where near fluent, but from being married to my wife for 5 yrs you cant but help to pick up some of the language i am forced to speak cebuano when i am in cebu i mix my english and cebuano in the same sentence and if they dont understand my english and i dont know the cebuano word i will use tagalog also if i can remember the word for what i want in that. i find filipinos are very appriciative of me trying to speak to them in there languages and most of the time the filipino will start speaking english to me because they rather speak english then tagalog!at least in cebu they do!

  59. Bob,
    Well most of the filipinos think in their own language first(tagalog, bisaya, ilonggo etc.) but they translate them in english literally.
    I guess most non native english speaking country would it as well.
    Just my 2 cents worth.

  60. Hi Ernest – Of course! And, I have written almost those exact words myself. Please understand, when I write an article like this one, it is not criticism of Filipinos, it is only pointing out a difference so that other foreigners can understand what to expect when they come here. 😀

  61. Of course Bob, i know that. Great articles by the way. I just want to at least give the point of view of a native Filipino so that you guys may be enlightened as well.

  64. Hi Rusty – Ha ha… yep! What can I say? It's my extreme charm that works every time! Or, they are scared to death of me, I'm not sure which! 😆