Live in the Philippines

Live in the Philippines helps expats with visas, moving and other services regarding the Philippines.

Being Defined

Expats, Language Learning / by

What defines you?  Can a person be fully defined by a single thing he says?  I do not believe that would be fair or accurate to judge a person’s being entirely on a single statement he makes.

Lately, I have gotten a bit of feedback from a few, only a few, readers of this site.  The feedback I have gotten seems to indicate that by reading a single article that I wrote here, they have defined my total being.  I am sorry, but that is not fair.

For example, my article from last Friday about my experience in being offered a job in a Korean language school.  One person wrote to me and scolded me for hating Koreans.  I don’t hate Koreans, the article was about a single incident in my life of being offered a job in a language school run by Koreans.  I didn’t like the way they handled the situation, and that caused me to have no interest in working there.  I didn’t need the job anyway, but thought it might be an interesting thing to do.  Because I wrote an article of an experience that I felt was not the way I liked it, and that experience was with Koreans, that does not mean that I dislike or feel badly toward Koreans in general.

The fact is, here on LiP, I write three articles per week (I used to write 5 per week), and I have been writing here for 4 years now.  When I write an article it is about that one incident or a very specific feeling, and should not be considered my feeling and applied to every aspect of life.  That article only shows a snapshot of my feelings at the time that I wrote the article.  In fact, there have been a number of instances when I have written articles on a certain topic, and then a year or more later I wrote a second article on the same topic, and showed that my opinion had changed, or that I looked at the same topic with a different perspective.  That is life.  In fact, the changing of a personal feeling or belief shows personal growth, and being open to shifting your belief on a topic shows an openness and a personal ability to grow and become a better person, or at least a different person.  That kind of ability is a good thing, in my view.

So, please, when you read an article by myself, or really any writer on this site, don’t feel that it sets that person in stone on an issue.  It only shows what the writer feels about an issue at the time of writing, nor for life.  In fact, this LiP site is such a community based site, with a great deal of interaction between writer and reader, that many times my views shift a bit simply by reading comments that are left here.  Perhaps a comment will open up a different point of view to me that I had not previously considered.  When that happens, it helps me refine my thinking and consider a different angle.  It allows for my personal growth, and helps me in my ability to allow such personal growth in my thinking process.

Anyway, it’s important for all of us to remember that none of us are completely defined by a single thing that we say or write.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Hi Bob – You can please some of the people some of the the time, but not all of the people all of the time.
    Thats life don’t worry.
    Regards.
    Jim.

  3. Hi Bob,

    You’ve touched on a topic I think about quite a bit lately. Namely, do people have an “internet personality” that is different than their “face-to-face personality”?

    Have you or the readers here noticed that people get angry, critical, and negatively-judgmental much more easily when they “talk” to each other on the internet, or is it my imagination?

    I think most of us think of ourselves as one of the “good guys”. Good guys have opinions just like the bad guys. But we good guys share our opinions openly with others because we don’t mean harm to others and we think our thoughts are similar to most everyone else, – it’s just that it’s from our personal viewpoint.

    But we all know that our life’s experiences and situation in life is unique. We all know no one else on Earth has had the exact same experiences and shares our situation exactly. I’ve never met anyone who is my “clone”.

    So if we all know everyone must be different than us, and if we know that we are all members of the “good guys,” why are internet reading/commenting people so mean, so impolite, so intolerant? I don’t get it.

    I accept people’s account of their experiences on internet articles as opportunities to learn. I learn a little from every single article on this site. I rarely comment, but I learn a lot, and I appreciate the time and effort taken to write about the commentators daily lives in the Philippines.

    I like it when people make the effort not to hurt someone else’s feelings when they point out they disagree. That is also how I learn. Often they have something to say I haven’t thought about.

    • Hi Kevin – How’s it going? Hope all is well for you and Yam.

      Yeah, having a separate “internet personality” is part of it, for sure. A lot of people think that they can do or say anything on the internet, and it doesn’t affect them because the internet is so anonymous. I personally don’t think that way.

    • Hi Kevin – I could not agree more with your synopsis of some people who use the internet. I know one in particular who really annoys me as he always chooses to respond with sarcasm rather than a straight forward answer to the question asked. On a face to face situation this person says nothing at all.
      It takes all kinds to make a world I suppose.
      Regards.
      Jim.

  4. Bob..I do not think any body can total define you here…Reason..You are a writer…writers if they are creative ( and you are ) can be one person one day and another person another day…and so on and so on. To a certain extent you have to make your posts interesting and some times off the wall a little and ect. so people will keep coming back to read and look at ur site…. And the same thing goes for those that comment here from time to time…..to me the only way to be near 100% sure that you really know some one (and then you may never be sure..) is to interract with some body in person…..even that if not fool proof….but for sure gives a person a lot greater perspective of who a person is, over what is shared here…..as far as your post about the english teaching job, it did not think you was being racist……but I for sure would not put up with what you did for sure…..so it shows you have patience…a good trait to have……

    • Hi Dan – Yes, if you are a good writer, sometimes you have to play devil’s advocate and advocate for a position that you don’t even necessarily believe in. Being a writer is something I enjoy, and I hope others enjoy my writing too. Thanks for your comment, Dan.

  5. Hi Bob,dont sweat the small stuff,your a good writer and i personally enjoy LIP..some people might read an aticle and miss the whole concept.I read the yahoo news and comments also and cant hardly believe what they write its more like a bunch of haters being childess. Keep up the good work Bob…Keep your shoes on ha.

  6. Keep the good writing coming Bob; some folks just have less than optimal interpretive skills. Or are quick to jump to a conclusion that is not there or are easily influenced by what someone else commented.

  7. Thank you! You said what needed to be said. It is too bad only those that come to this site will see it. As you know I write a lot and have come under personal attack for one or two articles by a Davao newspaper journalist. It upsets me when people are so naive they think one article defines the total character and life experiences of a person. It really upsets me when someone reads more into what I said or write than is really there and takes it upon themselves to speak publicly about me without ever contacting me directly.

    I have been keeping notes in Bibles for over 46 years. One of the hardest things I had to do when moving to the Philippines was destroy those Bible. The notes were personal notes for my eyes only and reflected my personal views on a scripture which I refined and used in homilies at a later date. I felt I could not give the Bibles to anyone because regardless if I explained to people these were my views on that scripture last year, four years ago, etc., but I may not feel the same today they would never understand. They would still read them and try to define my spiritualtiy by my remarks written next to a particular scripture.

    I will never understand why some people cannot accept that we all have opinions and our opinons change from time to time when presented with new facts. I will never understand why some people cannot accept that we all the right to voice our opinions and write our opinions and if they do not want to hear them or read them they have the right to not do so. But, I should not have to close down and keep my thoughts to myself simply because someone does not agree with me.

    I am not going to stop talking about politics in the Philippines simply because someone thinks foreigners should not have an opinon on the subject. I am not going to violate any laws, but I cannot live in a country and make it my permanent home and live in a vaccum.

    I do not always agree with everything you write and you know that, but I learn from what you write and it helps me clarify why I bleieve a particular way or I realize I am wrong and change my views.

    You are doing a great job, stay true to yourself and you will remain true to others. I do not want you writing what you think I want to hear.

    • Hi Tom – Your words are eloquent and very kind. Not agreeing on every point is only natural, but being able to be friends despite that is the great thing that makes us the kind of people that we are. I appreciate your friendship, and hope we can continue that and increase it as time goes by.

  9. Hey Bob -To hell with those judgmental people! He he. You cannot be defined by a single statement you make here on the internet. Just because you shared your feelings at that time, at that moment, does not mean, it reflects your personality and define you as a person. This is your site, you have every right to convey feelings, which everybody can respond to that. Dan is right too.. you’re writer, you invoked feelings… it shows how really good you are to bring out such reaction to your readers. And as Maynard said.. keep your shoes on (he he), and keep writing too.

    • Hi sugar – There are a lot of judgmental people out there, without a doubt. It’s best to ignore them, but from time to time it is hard to sit back and ignore. I appreciate your support.

  10. I enjoy this site but I guess I can see to an extent why you may be judged unfairly at times. This is just conjecture on my part but the fact is you are a marketer of yourself and your site. You use this site and others to promote yourself, products and services. Sometimes there is a slight bit of pompousness in your writing style and on more than one occasion you may indirectly promote a product or service be it realestate, an ebook consulting, etc…. That of course is your right but there wil still be people out there that take offense to this and are a bit jealous of your success. Any intelligent person would read between the lines and say this is Bob’s style and again it is his site and we don’t have to pay attention when he is promoting. Also there are many other authors here that give great article so who needs Bob LOL

    • Dwayne – with friends like you….

      Of course I promote my products and services. Writing for an managing this site is a huge burden on my time, and if I didn’t make money through the site there is no way I could spend the amount of time on it that I do. Nobody is forced to patronize any of my businesses, but what I will say is that any services that I offer are honest and above the board. I believe that in any of my businesses I offer a good value to the customer, and do it in a friendly and efficient way. I see no reason I should be faulted for that.

      • I don’t think you read me correctly. Important that you read what I said. I, me, personally am not making judgement just as I said “conjecture”, People out there. NOT ME!!!! Just observation so don’t get on me about it. Ilike your site and I too run websits so I know about the oney side. Many peole don’t. NOT ME!!!! hello

        • Hmm…. I don’t think you read me correct, because I didn’t take anything negative from what you said. I was joking with you when I said the “friends” thing. 😉 Lighten up!

      • All I know is that Bob has helped me more than once. I am thankful for that. Plus I have learned a lot here. Thanks again Bob.

        Gary

  12. Hey Bob,

    It’s true that in life you will meet silly people from time to time, and the same is true on the internet. I think you are silly quite a lot of the time, but not all of the time. The way you repeat the same point several times in a paragraph is an annoyance and just means you are working too fast, or are maybe not a particularly eloquent writer, but it’s a minor fault in the great scheme of things. Sometimes, quite often in fact, your replies are dismissive and show that you did not read the question or the opinion properly, again, working too fast, but it does not make you a bad person. Overall, you seem as if you are probably a good person. (With the exception of that time that you dismissed a maid because she was sleeping with your nephew. That was bad, reeked of self preservation, destroyed her privacy and would have landed you in court in the US or Sweden. But that was one incident, just badly handled I guess).

    All in all, just keep doing the same, it’s not too bad Bob, good luck!

    • Hi Alfred and Bob,

      This is an example of what I remarked on above. Alfred disagrees with you, but instead of just keeping his remarks on the specific topic, he takes the time to personally insult you repeatedly through to the last sentence. I don’t understand why people say things on the internet they wouldn’t do in person unless it was something that was harming them or their loved ones.

      Alfred, how often do people speak to you face to face and tell you that you annoy them, that your work is sloppy? Do they do it in public for others to hear? What if some member of the public decided to make a public judgement of your character as a person and declared out loud that you SEEM to PROBABLY be a good person? If that person didn’t even have personal contact with you in your daily life would you think it was appropriate? Would you change your character right then, forever, or would you think that because he doesn’t even really know you, his public negative judgement of you actually made him look like the one with character issues?

      Maybe you’re a person that should be allowed to continue your profession, I guess. How you do it isn’t too bad, maybe. Alfred, good luck!

      This is just to illustrate my point. Alfred, I don’t know you, so of course I have no knowledge of you as a person, how you conduct your life, or perform your work. I respect that when serious problems occur in your household you have the right to do what you think is best for your family. I apologize if I offended you, but as I remarked several comments above, people seem more intolerant and judgmental on the internet than in ordinary life, and I think your comments are harsh to Bob.

      • Hi Kevin – Thanks for your comment and your support. To be honest, dealing with the kind of thing that Alfred posted today can be wearing on a person, and I agree so much with what you say in response to him. I do appreciate your friendship and support, Kevin.

        • Bob,

          I know you can certainly defend yourself whenever you choose to do so. I hope I don’t bug you by jumping in like that every once in a while. I was raised by a mother who trained us to be “civilized” always, for we had advantages others didn’t, but yet, to always stand up for the right thing.

          Yam and I are so happy, we are so well matched for each other it is freaky at times. Thanks for your previous kind words.

        • Bob

          Attacking you personally like what Alfred did tells me exactly what kind of character he has. Believe me he would never say that to you in person. I guess success breeds jealousy. Good day Bob.

          • Alfred put it all out there for everybody to see who he is and what he is all about. I won’t attack him, he showed his face all by himself. Thanks for your support, Randy.

    • Alfred- you raise a point that I have wondered about many times. Why does someone who dislikes someone elses writings keep on reading them ? If I find someones posts silly or tedious or continually self serving I just ignore them from then on.

    • You do have a point as well Alfredo and Bob does tend to get sensitive about things as well as not reading a post for it’s actual meaning before replying in a defensive way as he just did with my post.. But all in all I think Bob means well and frankly I don’t htink he gives a hoot anyway about what anyone says. It’s his site and we all can take it or leave it.

    • Hey Alfred,

      Your comment is essentially a “flame”, but disguised with what appears to be compliments, and not particularly well disguised at that. Each of us have our faults, some of us, like me, many faults. I have noticed mistakes in Bob’s writings sometimes, just as I have with most if not all other bloggers on the internet. Also I have noticed many opinions with which I do not agree, but refrain from commenting on due to politeness and the essential pointlessness of doing so. But to what end do you identify Bob’s faults, as you see them, I wonder? What result are you expecting?

      Would it not have been a nicer comment, if you HAD to make one, to say something like:

      “Bob, we are all human and we make mistakes from time to time, but overall I think I like your site because I keep reading it. Keep up the good work.”

      (Consider the above my contribution to the comments Bob).

      • Jimbo how did you assume we all had faults? Also, because we are human we make mistakes? Huh? Maybe we wish to make those so called “mistakes” deliberately? Did you ever consider that lol?

        Jimbo I wish you would speak for yourself rather than lumping us all together. Remember I am an individual like everyone else.
        Anyways, in true Aussie fashion, smack each other in the head and then have a beer with each other. It’s all good.

            • But listen Boss; the truth is that the voices are there for us all to hear, it’s just that you have to be a bit “special” to actually hear them! By the way, in your last sentence, the word “your” should be spelled ” you’re”. Heeee haaa hee haaaa haaaa roflmao cackle cackle etc etc. Proof positive, should the pudding be eaten, that you are not, in fact perfect. Oh wait…did you do that deliberately? (Imagine Roseanne Barr voice for that last bit). Oh dear, too much SMB again.

  13. The ability to remain open minded and change views in the light of someone elses ideas is a sign of intelligence in my opinion.There have been occasions that writers have caused me to rethink ideas and come to a fresh conclusion -after all ,what is the point of expressing our own individual views on a subject if not to give others a different perspective? I certainly do not believe that an article or two can define a person – we are all more complex than that.I come from an area and family of the left – my father was a member of the British communist party in the 1930s – he left in the 1940s over the Stalinist views which it professed .This obviously influenced my own political views but over the years I have come to the conclusion that many of the policies of the left are no longer applicable to a modern society – in the 1920s British workers were oppressed and exploited and it was the left wing trade unions that fought this .In modern day Britain this oppression does not exist and society has changed so the political scene is much different.We cannot keep re-fighting the battles of the past so we have to modify our philosophies to accommodate the societies we live in.

    • Hi Bryan – Thank you, and I agree – being able to have an open mind and consider both sides, and being able to change your mind is indeed a sign of intelligence. I think that it is something that sets that person apart from the masses. Thanks for your comment, Bryan.

  14. Bob, I think your article on the English language school was “spot-on.” Having work for short periods of time in Korea, I learned that they are very “foreigner adverse.” They know that they have to business globally but they actually fear the foreigner taking “control” of their country and changing the culture. In fairness to them, you just look at their history and you can see the conquests of the Korean people by the Chinese and Japanese. In some ways, they are much like the Philippine people – a “love-hate relationship.” Korea needs the Americans for defense and economic purposes but they don’t want them in their culture.
    Oh, the shoe thing…I always found that when I visited Korean (and Japanese) business and private homes, they always had a pair of “flip-flops” for a guest to wear. Also, don’t feel bad I know you didn’t) but the Koreans are known for being cheap. They, also, think themselves superior to other foreign nationals. It is just their way.

    Why not open your own private English tutoring school (of course, putting it your wife’s name). Then advertise to the Korean families. You will be surprise as they will pay your price. Its cutting out the middle man as this is your turf not the the Koreans. That way you work your own way and your own hours.Your wife could, also, teach. Just IMHO.

    • Thank you John. For a number of years I have been considering doing an online language school. There is actually very good money in the field, and I believe it will be an even better business in the future. It is certainly something that I may do at some point in the future.

  15. Hi Bob,
    I don’t know you that well, only from what I read here. From what I read you are a person with principle and values. You have a kind keart and treat everybody fairly. I have never read that you hate, or even disliked any class of people. I really enjoy reading your articles, keep it up!

    Even if you’re on the right track, sooner or later you’re gonna get hit by a train
    – Will Rogers

    I guess it you just got hit by that train 🙂

    • Hi Hudson – Truth is, the train passes by every day, and a lot of days I get hit, but I just don’t say anything. It’s all part of being a sort of “public figure” I suppose. Sometimes it can wear on you, but most of the time it is easy to put aside because I get a vast amount of support from the many readers here on LiP and my other sites. Thanks for being a friend, hudson!

  16. Hi Bob
    Scolded you for hating Koreans, how unfair and narrow minded is that. I did not see anything in your article you wrote that could make that person come to that conclusion. I am suspicious now that the person who said it probably hates Americans and will twist anything around in their little bigoted minds to have a go at them…..but on the other hand he could be an american himself , who knows, lol………

  17. I’ve been following your site for over 3 years. Over that period of time I have enjoyed most of the articles that you have written. I feel it is no easy task having to think of new topics every week. I have gained valuable information not just from the content of the articles but from the replies of the readers of this site. It is information that money can’t buy.
    There has been a number of times when a gem of a reply has surfaced that has saved me a lot a of problems, especially when it came to dealing with immigration matters.
    At the end of the good, bad or ugly when you got a job to do, you just do it to the best of your ability.

    • Hi Boss – I am glad that you and so many others feel that they have benefited from this site, that is my goal after all! You are so right that almost every day little jewels show up in the comments, and I know that I also learn from many of them!

      Take care.

  18. People can read an article and each one may have their own impression of it. Concerning the article being discussed here, for me, it was descriptive of another one of your experiences in ” Living In The Philippines “. Articles like this I feel are what keep interested people like me comming back to this website for more ! So many of your articles are descriptive of an event, incident, or some kind of happening. After reading your website articles for a few years I have no doubt about the authenticity and accuracy of what you write about and I prefer to read your interpertations of these things than a lot of the mis-information, and inaccuracies of information floating around out there on the internet. The same goes for so many of the other articles that appear on this website.

    • Hi Bob – With all of my websites, my number one goal is to provide informative and accurate information. I do that through relating my experiences, and based on the feedback I get, I think I do a reasonably good job of doing it. I am glad that you think so too!

  19. Bob:

    We meet all kinds of people in life, I suppose. One thing I learned while working in restaurants in contact with the public every day was that 90% of the people in the world are decent people. You have 5% that are either always out to scam or up to no good. The remaining 5% simply live on another planet in their own little world.

    One of the problems with the Internet is that, as opposed to speaking face to face with someone, statements can be taken out of context very easily, despite words being written in black and white. There is no body language or tonal inflection, so things like sarcasm don’t translate.

    On a site such as LiP, you are targeting expats who are living here as your audience. Sometimes certain readers forget that you are writing towards that audience, at least in most cases (90% of your articles). I have also noticed that certain topics always bring dissent in some way, shape, or form:

    1. Dating, relationships… especially if age differences are mentioned.

    2. Corruption in government… Either expats giving “history” lessons or OFW Filipinos blaming the Church, politics, etc.

    3. Citizenship articles

    4. Articles that may appear to be criticizing the country (Though I’ve always found that you usually have a balanced perspective)

    5. Those articles where you are promoting a business or service (Amazing how many people believe that running a web site costs nothing! Or, that you should, for some strange reason, be ashamed about trying to earn a living. Most of your articles generate over 100 responses… To answer those and give any thought to an answer, at minimum you must spend 2 hours per day just answering comments. )

    6. The articles that simply come out of nowhere (Like your squatter article)

    Of course, there is always that 5%…

    I find it fascinating how some people can get so angry over an article or statement that is made online. Some get so defensive you just have to wonder what drives people to bother reading if they so intensely dislike what you have to say.

    In any event, I have met you before, and feel that you are an upstanding guy… I wouldn’t contribute were it otherwise. I find it strange how some people can be so damned judgemental based on a comment written in response to what is usually a benign topic. If you don’t like what you read, then stop reading!

    • Hi John – Thanks for your comment. You are right that I spend a lot of time minding this site… 2 hours per day? No, much more than that, I’m afraid! 😆

      You are right about the 90/5/5 ratio of people. The biggest problem is that the good guys are often more quiet, and the 5% of real pain in the butt people tend to be very, VERY vocal! 😉

  20. Seems like a nerve got hit. Not to worry, happens from time to time. I find you intelligent, somewhat “cool”, and a very good writer. You have a hard busy schedule, and that creates for anybody,, mood changes. You are sucessful in what you do and nobody can take that away from you, especially doing what you do here, and of all things, in a country that is extremely difficult to do so. You created a creation here…. So look in that mirror, and give a big smile to yourself for your accomplishments. And then tell Feyma you Love Her, and Happy Valentines day. Take care Buddy…

  22. Hi Bob – No matter how you phrase a statement, someone will always substitute their thoughts for yours. **It happens, you know!
    😉

  24. hello sir bob, i’m glad it’s your natal anniversary. A blessed birthday po! Sharing 1 corinthians 10: 31 ” Therefore, whether we eat or drink, or whatever we do, let us do it all for the glory of God. ” The Holy Bible.

  25. Bob,
    I have also following your site for more than a couple of yrs . now and so far i didn’t encountered any incriminating or degrading in all your articles about “LIP”contrary to what other posters mentioned here, all i can say is you’re always done it in a more constructive criticsism and for me there’s nothing wrong about that. This is the reason why i stop visiting other forum specially the Filipino forum, i’m pinoy but i can’t stand visiting a site that were full of hatred and anger ,defensive attacked and racism.Your site gives me more helpful insight , knowledge and inspirations or an eye opener to our country and for us pinoy. For those who critisized your articles specially those patriotic Pinoys when you touched some sensitive issues should pause for a while and think it over a thousand times before they open their mouth to launch their counter attack, ive’d seen it over through the internet and i can’t stand it, there’s nothing wrong being a patriotic but i hope they do it in a more diplomatic way and not stoop down to other ignorant level of any kind of nationalities. About expats who can’t stand to live in the Phils. they are free to go and don’t ever come back, don’t ever torture yourself for something you hated most and think that you can change the way things are happening there. Philippines is not a perfect place so think a millions times before you ever think of moving there to live….

  27. Bob;
    While preparing to move back to the Philippines I have scowered the internet and have come across many sights that potray the nation as wine women and song. Or they give you a impression that they are a bunch of backswards folk and just enjoy bashing these good people.
    I have no need for these kind of folks.
    But your sight and a few others (Phils FAQ) are both honest and clean. They give you and honest open view of EVERYDAY life in the Philippines. You and your writers show us the everyday ups and downs of living in the Philippines and that interaction with the locals will have its problems from time to time. You and your writers paint a very accurate and positive picture of how life is in the Philippines for expates.
    As far as opinions everyone has on, but what is special about this sight is MOST of us can share our opions and learn from each others. In others words you have a group of readers and contributors that have respect for each others opions and have good morale character.
    We can agree or diagree on a subject without fearing a personnel attack.
    However, there will always be a few people who will slip into these site like LIP and just want to stir the pot and destroy a persons good name. Or worse destroy there livelihood by contaminating there sights with rogue comentaries. Fortunatley these people don’t last long because most of the readers on LIP sniff them out and put them on the carpet for public view.
    This is a good group and all I can say is that we have You and Your writers back so write away and tell us how you really feel.
    P.S. How many other sights have a Christmas give away that their readers donate to that help underpriveledge Filipinos? That’s all that needs to be said. Rant Over!!

    • HI Michels – Thanks for your kind and thought provoking comment. I, for one, enjoy having a good conversation in the comments where we can talk and not worry about people being mean or rude. That is how we can learn. When it gets nasty, it can generate a lot of comments, but not a lot of learning, and little respect for each other.

  28. like i said previously bob, you’re doing fine, don’t worry about the ‘haters’ ! ” )

    i’m pretty selective with stuff i read, and your site (with your articles) has been one of the most rewarding finds in the internet. you’re pretty balanced and fair, and that’s rare — everywhere.

    in the event you express any sentiments that don’t agree with mine, it doesn’t bother me a bit. i’m just an anonymous guest in your site, so keep it up!

    = )

    btw i wouldn’t mind getting an invite to write articles here ” )

  29. Happy Valentines Day Bob. I don’t pften comment, but I do read each and every article. Most of the thoughts expressed I agree with 100%, some I disagree with……so what. That’s my problem, not the writers. An article once written is somewhat like a grave stone. The words are written, and should not be changed or challenged. I think it is OK to disagree in a kind manner, but to berate an author because you do not agree with his or her observations and comments is ridiculous.
    I guess the best way to handle the personal attackers is to quote a little phrase I have heard my southern sister make when she is being attacked. As a pastor’s wife she seems to have a target painted on her forehead as well. ” Well, God bless her little heart”. Which in southerner lingo means that you think she is a heartless brainless idiot. Just sounds a lot nicer when you pour that saying out with that long southern drawl.
    So hang in there Bob, you and the other contributors are doing just fine. Thank You for a few moments of reading entertainment every week. Don’t let the buzzards get you down!

    • Hi Dave – Happy Valentines! I appreciate your comment and your support! No two people agree 100% of the time, but we can also disagree in an agreeable way, right? 😆

  30. Bob: Those who engage in harangues, whether valid or invalid are usually referred to as “harangue – outangs” Keep up the good work.

    Peace my friend:

  31. Bob,

    This article and you #S@8P*&#@% (just joking.)

    It amazes me how someone can judge you on 1 incident or statement and ignore all off the positive or good things that you are also doing in the rest of your life. I make lots of mistakes in my life and I hope that I learn something from the mistakes and they make me a better person.

    The comments at the end of a Yahoo article amaze me. I think most of the comments are posted by people with to much time on their hands. It makes me sad to see so much hate in the world. The problem with the comments is that lots of people start excepting them as fact. The ideals start being expressed off the internet. For example, a co-worker was confronted as being a terriost from a camp bumper sticker for her grandchild on her car. It was rude and wrong.

  32. Hello Bob.

    I am reading here now a couple of month. First to get better in my reading and writing in English ( I know my English is from 1979 and rusty) but I am also looking how living in the Philippines is for people like you guys, who are living already there over years. And why? I was a “little bit” shocked how “relatives” handled Audrey and I on our vacation. Audrey was crying and said she will not retire there and I have to look for other places in the Philippines. That’s when I found LiP in the internet. I am happy to get some information and ideas.

    And one other thing, Bob. Reading what you and Feyma are doing for the people in your area there are not so blessed in life “hooked” me up with your site. Why? I guess we are thinking and doing the same in some situations in our life. Also that we already know there comes trouble around the corner from relatives and friends. “Why you are waisting your money for them? There are not family!!” Grrrr
    So what? I am sure (sorry if I step now on your toes ) from what I am reading, that you like me, are not a “church-runner” but you see what is needed to do.

    And than we have in the Internet “Alfredo’s”. People they will always see some wrong doing in that what we do. So what? Yes of course! Ones in a time we are A**hole’s in perfection. And Alfredo. The title biggest A**hole is ALWAYS booked for me. I know. I am always trying to do my best I can do. 🙂

    Alfredo. The story you wrote about that girl. I was a witness on my vacation, when my sister in-laws mother had a fight with a girl, 24 and kicked her out because she slept with her grandson ->14!! She told me that is “normal” in the village. She told me also that she had to pay out a couple of families. She told me also that she had to pay some doctor bills because of girls like her! So if a Filipino is doing that – that’s OK?? If a Americano is doing that it is wrong? Mhmmmm…. I guess Bob forgot to pay out the family?? I could tell you what I would do with that 14 year old boy…..
    And yes @ Alfredo. I feel with these girls too. But I am not saying it is not there fault too. Gosz! I wished I lived in the Philippines when I was 14 and 24 old women would like to….. with me. I guess every boy is dreaming from that. Mhmmmm… Sorry! I still played soccer with 14…… No hot 24 year old girlies in my life at this time…. 😉

    Bob. You and Feyma doing a good thing. So keep going your way. And for all other writers and members of LiP: I enjoy it!
    And yes guys. Alfredo’s are only around the corner – that’s for sure!

    Best regards

  33. Bob,

    It’s difficult to say what triggers the thoughts and reactions of another person. I can only say with certainty that nothing in your post suggested that you have prejudicial feelings toward the Korean community. That thought did not enter my mind. I did think that the folks at the school were pretty darn presumptuous with the plans that they had made for you without ever speaking with you.

    I enjoy your posts.

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your family.

    Barry

  34. Hi Bob- Keep up your good work, i know it ‘s not always easey . You can,t be to bad of a guy, or Feyma wouldn’t put up with ya.

  35. Bob;
    It can be frustrating, I’ll sometimes read a comment, then have to go back and re-read the article to see if I missed the point before I’ll respond.
    Since I like to write in a tongue in cheek style, I’ll normaly respond in that same style, even if I feel the reader misunderstood my point. They might have misunderstood me due to the way I phrased it. And freely admit it could be my fault. (Well maybe a little) Then in my case I think; “Maybe they are not amused or lack a sence of humor.” My best advice to that reader would be, “If you see my name on the top of the page and your not in the mood for a smile, give it a pass.” That’s their God given right, I respect that. But it won’t change my view on life one whit.
    But I am confused as to how anyone would have come up with you hating Koreans, that caused a violent round of head scratching on my part, see again I missed something.

    • I hear you Paul. Sometimes comments come in that just don’t seem to make any sense, and as you say, you wonder where the idea possibly came from! Oh well, it’s all in a days work! 😆

  36. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, PHILIPPINES!!!!!!!

    Bob,

    “…… or that I looked at the same topic with a different perspective. That is life.”

    Well said! (That’s why we have plenty of holidays, and fiestas to celebrate, etc.. in the Philippines. Haha!) :0)

    Thank you, Bob! Great article! :0)

  37. Bob, it’s your site, you know, there is nothing that says you HAVE to publish the flames, click delete and save us all the time of having to reply or even think about it. Life’s too short. And in the true traditions of democracy, free speech only exists if people want to hear it.

    Hmmm, suspect I have had too many smb’s this evening…maybe you should delete this comment!

    • Ha ha… I don’t like to censor comments, but I do if it becomes way out of line. But, in the 4 1/2 years that this site has been around, I have only cut off about 5 people or less from posting comments here.

  38. Having blogged for almost 3 years, I also get a lot of flak from people who don’t know and who think they’ve got the privilege to judge me just because of the things I say in my posts. I used to cry over about it and vowed to stop blogging. But blogging did not stop because I realized that our thoughts and emotions are “out there” and we couldn’t avoid and choose people —only certain people can read our posts unless otherwise we set our blogs to private. And in the world of cyberspace, lurks different kinds of people who don’t think like us, don’t agree with us, and don’t like us because they are either “morons” and “jerks” who probably have the most bitter lives, most miserable lives, and most dreadful personalities and whose esteem is gauged by their capability of remaining “unknown” behind their PC’s/notebooks. Who knows, they are those people who live in their mom’s basement with no one but a cat and a mouse , and who gets their high from dissing and ridiculing everybody they don’t agree with, get jealous over , etc. They will attack you on a certain statment/sentence you make and miss all the other things you write.
    Bob, they will always be there nitpicking on what you are going to say and what you said. If you want to stop them , you can’t , unless you try not to be true to yourself or you quit blogging. But if you can’t make those options, you just ignore them , raise your chin high and just continue writing whatever you want to say.
    Take heart, you’re not alone. My case is worse….but I learn how to deal with them and in fact forgive them. As Jesus said, “Father forgive them , for they don’t know nothing.”

    • Hi bingkee – Thanks for sharing your experiences, they are so similar to mine. 99% of the time, I love running this site and others. 1% of the time it is like hell dealing with some of the morons. Ha ha… what can you do? Really, not much, unless you want to quit, and I won’t be doing that! 😆

      Thanks again! Hang in there!