Last week, I invited a group of Filipino friends over to my house to sample some of my freshly roasted and brewed coffee. I know that these people are serious coffee lovers, because I see them often in local coffee shops, so I decided to invite them over for some seriously good coffee!
We not only enjoyed good coffee, we also had some great conversation. I know all of these people pretty well, and enjoy their company, although I don’t get to socialize with them too often because we kind of run in different crowds, and I am also older than they are, so the times we get together are really not often enough due to the circumstances.
During our conversation, one of the people was telling me about his new job, and that it involved a lot of interaction with foreigners. He asked me if I know some of the people the he dealt with. Indeed, I knew most of them, and I told him so. He next said, “oh, you must socialize with these foreigners a lot.” “No,” I replied, “I really don’t, because a lot of those people spend most of their time complaining about the Philippines.” My friend confirmed that he had noticed that too, and asked me why that was the case.
I explained to my friend that I didn’t know why, but it is fairly common that a lot of foreigners, when they get together, basically complain about the Philippines for hours on end. That is the reason why I don’t get together with these folks too much. I don’t like to complain like that. Yes, there are things about the Philippines that I could complain about, no doubt about that. But, I choose to mainly focus on the positive side of the Philippines. I mean, overall, I really enjoy living here, and why would I want to spend my time complaining about the place?
Another thing that I have noticed, before I even moved here, is that some of these same type of people who spend their time complaining about the Philippines, when they go home, they spend their time glamorizing the Philippines and complaining about their country of origin! So, the only thing I can figure is that some people just have to complain, or they are not happy!
Why not look for the brighter side of life instead of watching for the rain clouds all the time? It would seem that you would be happier with your life in general if you are watching for the good things instead of complaining about the bad. Also, when you spend your time complaining about the Philippines in front of Filipinos, it really kind of gives a bad impression about foreigners to these Filipino people. That makes us all look bad.
No mattet where you live, there are things that are not so good, which you can complain about all you want. But, if you choose to talk happily about the good things in life, I think you’ll be happier overall. And, you’ll make a good impression on the people around you too.
I love the Philippines, do you?
🙂 Maybe Bob you should hold a convention for that purpose. Think of the potential of the business.
Hi Bob- This subject always amazes me as well.I thought when you did not like a something you kept well away from it, so why do these people who continually complain about the Philippines stick around and continue to live here?
All they acheive is to make themselves unhappy and those around them miserable listening to them.
Regards.
Jim.
Copy that. Why spend your time complaining especially in front of local Filipino’s?
Hi Bob,
Some people in this world never seem to be happy unless they have something to moan about.Personally they bore me to tears.
My usual reply is "If you don't like the way it is,do something about it, instead of continually whining".
regards Chas.
As you know Bob, its not just in person where they do this. Several expat websites spend about 1% of the time saying I love the Philippines and 99% telling you what is wrong with it.
I think socially one goes out on a limb more if they admit to liking something. I noticed myself being pulled into the group complain syndrome, its very easy to let happen.
It seems to be human nature, something we all need to work on. If we all agree to dislike something, then we must be right. And now we are better because we are right. That's the heart of this complaining syndrome.
It explains both sides, the side of complaining about the Ph when here and telling how wonderful it is when "we" go back. If one goes back to country of birth, most there have never been to the Philippines. Once again, we are in the know. We are the expert. We have knowledge others don't have. We are better than they….
Its all about "our" own insecurities.
"Push me in the swallow water before I get too deep" New Bohemians. LOL
I guess now we are going to all complain about the complainers? Not a criticism just an observation. We humans, we are a funny and complex social animal. Its similar to a sports team, when "our" team wins, we are part of the winners, the better group.
I agree with you, I don't hang out at expat hang outs too much either for the same reason. I do like to go on outings with them to places I have not been before.
The positive nature of your site is what draws me to it and I hope my sites are positive as well. I agree with everything you said. See, there "we" go again. 🙂 But i do. LOL
Hi Bob
I ant't say too much about the complaining part yet because I'm not there yet. But just wondering if you served the cat poop coffee. I have to try that one.
Bob: This is why I don't normally hang around other expats… It just gets annoying listening to it (BTW, same thing when I go to China, HKG, or a number of other places!).
This is also part of the reason we live where we do… I could have moved to Makati or Greenhills or somewhere similar, but I much prefer being around Filipinos rather than isolated in some compound with a bunch of cranky Americans.
Bob .. I don't have time to complain about the country that I am going to retire in or the people ..I let my wife tell what is wrong and go from there ..I really enjoy the country and its culture ..Phil n Jess
Yep, you hit the nail on the head with this one, Bob. For years now I have listened to various schemes proposing organizations for foreigners and other activities to 'bring foreigners together. No way for me.
Any rational person can see things that are not right, here or in other countries, but to spend your time complaining about them, day after day? Sad. All that whine and no cheese to go along with it ;-).
When I was overseas with the US military I often observed the same sort of phenomena, especially in areas that were heavily US, such as military family housing areas. The chief recreation seemed to be to have gatherings where the sole topic was all the things wrong with the host country. Depressing.
Years ago, the British migrants in Australia were well known for complaining a lot, so the Aussies started calling them the "whingeing Poms". I don't think they whinge a lot these days, what with England now printing money, and the newer migrants just glad to be in Oz. Maybe Sir Bob, you and your followers can start labelling these whingers as "whingeing Kano", but then that won't be fair for the real Kano who genuinely love the Phil. As we all know,not all Kano are necessarily Americans.
Incidentally, I've met a few Filipinas here in Oz, who loudly proclaimed they hate the Philippines. Fair enough, they've left the country.
Hi All
I can;t understand why people would get together and complain about the very country that they worked hard to stay in (visas etc etc)
It takes such a lot of energy to be negative and complain.
Don;t they know they are shortening their life expectancy by being negative?????
I firmly believe ANY DAY I WAKE UP STILL BREATHING IN ANY COUNTRY IS A GIFT!!!!!!!!
Hi Bob – Just remember, every silver lining has a dark cloud! 🙂
For most complainers, it's just the old "Common Enemy Makes For A Strong Barcada" syndrome. You sort of have to feel sorry for them – complaining is the ONLY thing they have in common! 😆
Kamusta ka Bob,
Bob, I promise when I finally get to sit down and have a cup of coffee with you, it won't be about the problems I have in the Philippines…lol. And also, will hopefully be spending my time in a more positive way, then to sit back and drink beer wishing I was back in the good ole USA…crying in my beers.
I am sure I will see plenty wrong with the way things are there, but I will just have to adapt to those changes, and/or problems.
I will have an open mind when I get there, but you know, one of the most important reasons for moving there is to start a new family there, and I know there are many advantages to doing that here in the USA, but I really want to raise my family there in the Philippines. The last thing I am going to do…is burden my new bride and her family with the things I don't like about the Philippines.
Is just me though..and the way I have my mindset for this upcoming move!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Salamat kaayo,
Danny
Yeah I know exactly what you meant about this article, your right some people just love to complain..I guess it makes them happy. But not me, I try not to make life any harder than it is already..:)
Please take care,
Danny
Bob,
As you know, I go to both of the Expat groups here in Davao.
One of them have the wives/Girlfriends meet in another part of the establishment. This is because they tell it is a support group for foreigners and do not want to insult Filipinos.
I go to meet new and see some friends that I do not see often. Here networking is helpful when your trying to find friends, business possibilities and to just get out. Also sometimes there is a guest speaker that has some good information.
There is a lot of complaining and I try to just ignore them.
As you stated, you like to look at the more positive side of living here and I try to also.
My mom is a chronic complainer. One time she complained about my smoking, I told her I would try to quit smoking if she stopped complaining. She said no deal.
On my site I try to tell stories about living here in an honest tone.
Sure there are things I do not like. My motto is "There are things I do not like here. Can I change them, No, so why dwell on them. Just accept them.
If you isolate yourself every time you find something negative, eventually you will become a hermit and will have isolated yourself from everywhere and everyone.
It is also true, most complainers here were complainers back home. They do not feel good about themselves so blame everything else.
Theres treasures and trash in every Country ..its just where you choose to dig.
U wont like japan Bob…I got refuse entry in a few places …"sorry Japanese only sir "
hi bob,
Would you complain if your company provided you with a
1. Western House housing
2. Western Style Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Snacks? even coffee and tea too?
3. A nice Pajero or Land Cruiser vehicle
4. A tax free salary?
5. Free school expenses for your children?
Brits here are the big whiners, despite having all those "freebies" they still complain about it, every time i encountered a brit who complained about his company or the things provided to him, I would tell him with no hesitation that he should go home, he'll be better off going home to his country and avoid stress about his complaint.
now that is a real whiner!
Hey Bob- When my wife and I finally get to move to the Philippines I have no plans to go to any support group. I wouldn't need it. My mother in law is very loving and our family there is very loving and supportive. And if most Filipinos are happy in life then they must be doing something right. When we move there I want to focus on those positive things. Besides I wouldn't fit in with the group because I am socially challenged anyway. 😉
hi bob,
People who complain for almost about everything are the people who will grow old and will die with emptiness in their life, these are the people who cannot find happiness, contentment and peace during their life, I feel sorry for them because they just wasted their lives seeking for negative things, they don't seek the best of life and what it can offer, these are the people who don't appreciate the life given to us, they are missing the essence of life and how wonderful it is, it's their loss not ours.
Hi Bob,
Another aspect of this is boredom. Taking a line from John M when he said that the "group seemed to largely stand around talking and trying to impress each other". As in a normal conversation, first comes the topic of weather, then branch out into other things such as putting down the Filipinos, their way of life, business, etc.
Each one of them tries to collect as many "horror stories" as they can to impress the next group or next meeting of fellow expats.
I would tend to feel sorry for them. As people say now – "Get a Life!"
I thought twice about responding to this, you see i,m guilty of being an "ugly foriegner " myself. It usually happens when I see a massive amount of systemic stupidity which results in "shit happening". But i,m like that when I meet any nationality. It,s good to share a beer with others expats and I agree it can get tiring listening to their crap but I do not gloss over the truth to newcomers when I meet them. Those who complain the most have, in my experience, been burned badly or stabbed in the back and I wonder if there initial love for the country blinded them to the risks. I also find these same people are in business, not retiree,s or contracted to be here.I personally know two people who lost their companies because they didn,t cover their backs from a legal standpoint. I had staff that sabotaged machines and got a cut from the repair mans bill. Go slows were organised in order to get more overtime, even at the cost of missed deadlines which ultimatly sunk the business, all this from people who,s medical bills we payed, who,s children we bought school books for. So it,s no surprise that complaints are forthcoming. We as expats also come from countries where we stand up and speak out about things and old habits are hard to break. Should we just stay silent when we see something wrong? or speak out and be called a complainer. And why should I leave a country just because I disagree with one segment of it? No country is perfect. Thats the side of the Philippines I hate. BUT there is another side to this country, a gentler side, a more casual way of living away from big business, closer to the community and family, where money and greed don,t seem to have their claws dug in so deep,where you can talk to your neighbours, let you kids run around, where a man can breath. To me this country has almost a "frontier feel", where you can make your own way without interference from governments that would wrap their citizens in cotton wool ( try living in New Zealand!)Where you make your own decisions on how you live and at what level. This is the Philippines i,m in love with. But I guess not everyone can live like that. I guess everyone has their story and I wonder what story is behind the complaints, but then I can,t be bothered to listen to too many of those stories any way.
Hey, bob, phil n jess, christine,
My mother always tell me " if somebody throw a rock on you, throw them a bread" and i always answer, Yes mother, but i will make sure that the bread is inside a jar", he-he-he
I do try to get away from mother quickly, though afterwards. she just have to stare at me and smile!
very nice topic today. I think integration is the key word. People who complain about a host country is not integrated to that particular society.
Complaining as a group is a means of voicing out frustrations, finding common ground. The reason I think might be boredom.
I bet that when a foreigner becomes fully integrated there is no point in complaining as a group.
As a Filipino, there are lots of things to complain about the country now. But I remain cheerful, becasue there are a lot of positive things around like friendship and family.
my point is if the complainers surround themselves with friends and family, there is nothing to complain about.
Hey I will admit that when I was last in Davao, I did some complaining, but since I started reading LiP, I have learned a lot, and when we finally make the move over there, I will be better prepared. I guess the biggest complaint was that I was treated more like a guest, than part of the family. Also, as an American, I am not used to have someone cut in line in front of me. Life takes a lot of patience, and living in Davao is not the same as the Midwest. But, both have their advantages and disadvantages. I will try to adapt to any situation. I am just looking for more simplicity. I just want to retire and live out my life in peace. And warm weather. Keep up the good work.
This is a pretty fascinating topic. My wife (Miss August) and I were discussing this last night as she was composing her replies. My initial reaction was one of "what's wrong with wanting to hang around with people from similar backgrounds?" As I read more about the specific group under discussion, I realized that it's merely the American version of a very interesting contrast I see with some Filipinos living in the US.
As she mentioned in her comment, my wife has lived in the United States for nearly 30 years. When I met her 11 years ago, she was already thoroughly "Americanized" and had embraced the culture of her adoptive country. She's quite happy and content here, having become a member of the society. Her friends and interests are as varied as anyone I know. She's not lost her love of the Philippines, and she wants us to retire there. Nevertheless, I cannot recall having heard a complaint about the way things happen in America as opposed to the Philippines.
By contrast, some of my dear asawa's relatives spend much of their time in very tight Filipino groups. Some of them have jobs in places that employ large numbers of Filipinos. Their command of the English language is far below that which allows them to comfortably carry on a conversation with most Americans. As a result, they tend to insulate themselves. While I'm not sure they complain about the country in which they live, they certainly seem to be simply marking their time and getting their Social Security credits. They're "fish out of water" here in the US, with no intentions beyond setting themselves up for a life back in their "real home."
Not, by the way, that I have any problem with that. I'm simply pointing out the fact that they keep to themselves and don't bother to integrate with the culture of the US because they don't intend to stay here. In many ways, I think my wife is much more well-adjusted to life in the United States than some of her relatives because she decided to LIVE here; not just BE here until she could go back.
The same thing must happen for men who decide to move to the Philippines for whatever reason. Some of them may have been seduced by the misunderstanding of how well they might live compared to the US. Some of them may have been lured there by a beautiful woman. Some may even have wound up there against their will. As varied as the reasons men may have to move to a foreign land halfway around the world, they all share a common experience: they are a stranger in a strange land.
As my wife has been reading the various websites about life in the Philippines, we've both gained knowledge and insight that will aid us in our final decision. I know that I have approximately 7-10 years to prepare myself should our decision be to retire in the Philippines. In that time, I intend to visit the country as often as possible; possibly making at least one attempt to stay for 2 or 3 months. I intend to learn Tagalog well enough to carry on a rudimentary conversation. I intend to arm myself with as much information as possible about the Philippine culture: everything from pointing with one's lips to a waggling of the eyebrows that means "yes."
Finally, and this is the most important thing, I intend to train myself to recognize that there are things in life over which I don't have control. Nevertheless, I will ALWAYS have control over how I decide to react. I think I'll be socializing with some "Westerners" when I get there, but something tells me I'll be MUCH happier overall if I become part of my community.
In short, should we decide to retire there, I'll make it my number one priority to LIVE in the Philippines; not just BE in the Philippines.
What is this?
So if you come from the Philippines and become a citizen in USA then you are not really an American because you came from the Philippines? What? No matter who comes to USA they become American as much as I am. A citizen is a citizen.
Same in the Philippines if whoever becomes a citizen I think you need to accept them as that a Pinoy.
Are you better because you are born there? I do not think that about people that come to USA. Everyone is equal when you are a citizen or at least it should be that way.
Bob – I don’t want to argue the semantics of being a Filipino. We both know about the Philippine law and the US law. So, I’m just going to ask you, if you are filling-out a form in the Philippines (or any where in the world) and one of the question is:
Are you?
Filipino
American
White/Caucasian/Anglo-Saxon
Foreigner (American/Australian/etc)
Asian (Filipino/Korean/Japanese/etc)
Which box would you check?
I am not being negative or mean when I say, even after you get your Philippine Citizen, in my eyes and I am sure most Filipinos, you will still be a “Kano”.
I don’t know anything about this “Expat Support Group” so I can’t say if they are racist or sexist. I was just pointing out the need of some people to have a group that they can share and vent their frustrations and feelings. If you have first hand knowledge that they are racist by all means call them racist.
To me it would be like joining a “Philippine Expat Support Group” here in the US. We meet once a month, we speak and talk to each other in Tagalog, eat “stinky” foods (at least stinky to my husband) and just talk about our feelings and frustrations living in the US. Then, my husband wants to join our group… I would be hesitant for him to join. Just because I do not want him to join doesn’t mean I’m racist or our group is racist.
I agree with you that the group in Davao should include their wives & SO (significant other) in their meetings. But, I can also understand why these Expat wouldn’t want their wives/so or other non-expat in their group. Now if they do not let a dark/brown skinned expat from Africa/Mexico/USA/etc then I would have a problem with that. I would be the first one to call them racist!
I might have started that Bob, but what I said were true and based on my experiences here. I have nothing against the Brits. One former flame was a Brit.-and I just love the Pommie accent! 🙂
Just not fussed on the cockney.
Mind you, I think you can expect the English to get into strife wherever they go. They used to "own" half of the world, didn't they?
Incidentally, how many of you knew that the Philippines came close to being an English colony?
Thanks for being a good sport Chas – and all Pommie in LIP.! 🙂
Bob, very good observation. Very true indeed. Most of the foreigners I have met who spend vacation here complain. I met a couple from Australia who took a vacation in el nido, had to walk three km because the buses where stuck in the mud (it was during the rainy season here). they said why can't Filipinos just make a road. I just said at the back of my head that it is so easy to say it. They do not realize that Palawan has just started to imporve 4 years ago. If they had come here 10 years ago they would have been stuck in the road for a full one week..which is the minimum….. they should have seen it as an adventure…hehehehe..I enjoyed that part where the buses were stuck in the mud and we had to walk barefoot in the mud for three km. Sometimes it is just being positive and seeing it at a better view that will make a person enjoy where he is or the situation where he is at…. Bob thanks for loving the Philippines….
PS…was not able to visit regularly coz…school has ended and there were many things to do….and then the blackouts..heheheheh
Wow Bob, more then 120 comments. What can I say? Yeah, please allow me to quote chasdv:some people in the world are not ahppy, if they have nothing to complain about it. AND, JohnM., you said it so clearly: that's why (many times) I hesitate to hang out with other expats. Sad to say, really!!! But, what can we do???:
every place has its pros and cons about it but complaining about it seems pointless. of course i see negative things about the usa and the philippines both but when push comes to shove i also see the more positive also! but one of the main reasons i will eventualy be living in cebu is because i can never afford to retire in the usa if i stay here in america i will be working untill the day i die literally .but if i sold my house here (which is totally paid off) and started a couple little side buisines in p.i i could probaly live a good life!
I believe the expat groups are a bit better organised down in Mindanao than up here in Cebu, but from a personal perspective I dont spend much time with expat groups but do come across the complainers aswell as guys who treat their partner as more of a servant than a wife/girlfriend. Everyone to theyre own.. but its not for me, I think some people have valid points but not always. I suffer with the usual issues you get anywhere in the world such as traffic congestion etc.. but im also a person who looks for alternatives rather than complain about it too much. The state of the UK has led me to leave those shores in the first place but thats a gripe you will find with most Brits regardless if they are expats or still at home. The Philippines has a lot wrong with it but it also has a lot of things which are better.. you have to give and take. Regarding business as I tell many people myself there is probably more opportunity here than they would have in most countries because of the lack of capital here.
Hi Tropicalpenpals – Yeah, I fully agree with you. No place on earth is perfect, but something about the Philippines just sits right with me. We all complain some too, but I try to keep it to a minimum.
Blaming the Brits?? narrow minded views of "the past" and stereotyping all British people would only make you as bad as the people you are complaining about. The old attitudes were forced out a long time ago.
Im all for improvements.. no point complaining about the electronics being bad (which a lot are) unless you find a solution which in my case is import the equipment I need. Fire safety is something that worries me in my current area which is why im looking to buy a fire engine. Similar is being done by another Brit on the other side of Cebu for his sub-division nothing major but hopefully useful enough to take off bars to allow people to escape and hopefully contain the fires until the larger engines arrive. Its all fixing it if it bothers someone to much. Same with my visa the problem I have is the price has been different the last 4 times so when I arrive back later in the year will just go 13A its just less hassles. One thing I do think is the main cause of the complainers is bordem as they have little to do a lot of the time and a fixed budget, but its all down to networking and finding things to do.. for me the majority of things I do with my pinoy friends for one its cheaper and two they are in my age group.
Agree with you totally.. Its all about adapting if someone isnt happy with something either change it or stop complaining about it. The world isnt perfect and if it was no doubt people would complain its too perfect!
I enjoy people who complain to me about me ..when they are done I always say .."Thank You " then they look at me funny and say "What "..Then I just laugh at them ..I say ..
'If you are complaining about me then you are leaving other people alone to get on with their life's in peace" ..Bob I am to old to care what people think of me now days ..I have things to do and places to go I don't have time to complain .. My wife is very good at doing that so I let her tell me what she thinks about the world around us and I go from there, with a smile on my face ..
Hi Phil – I must say that I mostly agree with you. I don't care a lot about what other people say. However, there is one thing when they complain about you, and to you, then you do get a chance to evaluate what they are saying, and in turn decide if they have a valid point, and something you want to change. That's my feeling.
Hi Chas, don't feel bad. I'm friendly with a guy who's into bible studies. He said that England is one of the 12 lost tribes of Israel. So is the USA. He pointed out that England has mostly been a prosperous country since the unification of the the Normans and the Saxons. And the US has been a world power for close to 100 years. Not sure if his history is accurate. You can correct me on that and I'll pass it on. But apparently the 12 tribes of Israel are God's chosen people hence God made them prosperous. The scary thing is, he also said that the world system (not the world itself)as we know it is going to end in 20012. He believes that this economic meltdown is one of the signs. Got me thinking that one, hence I'm following the news when I can.
Wow Bob what a post.
I still can not complain about Phil's but I am so complaining about here. In press Obama just told GM get your stuff together of I will not give you 6 billion more. Truth is they will give. I am so glad I sold house and just have to live with Open corruption.USA bailout hehe would have given every American $750,000.00 and not a dime to ceo's. I think most would have spent to fix what is broke.
Sound like complaint?? Well yes, at least there You know they are working hard for rich. Here they try to hide It. And who really pays.
hehehe I am sure I will not complain and did phil n jess r tell you he sold his house too like me?? we will both be there about the same time.
I knew about the last paragraph, but did not realized Exclusive Gentlemen's clubs existed till the 70's? I thought that ended after the WWI or at the very latest WWII? That is very informative Chas. I did feel sorry for the Antique dealer. But I don't think he was serious because he's still here, and that was 8 years ago! 🙂
I knew about the 12 Tribes of Israel a bit. I'm not big on religion, though I do participate with the required Jewish festivals. But this thing about the lost tribes of Israel does get you thinking. The rest of the 12 Tribes are scattered around Europe. This guy I was talking about also said that the reason Jews have always been victimized throughout their history was that they kept breaking God's covenant. Naughty people really. Apparently even their extermination by Hitler in WWII was part and parcel of that punishment.
It’s been two weeks for me here in Lapu Lapu and, while I’m open to meeting anyone who is a decent, positive-minded person.. I don’t go out looking for Americans to hang out with. I know I could hang out at the McDonald’s or Starbucks or the nicer restaurants where they congregate.. but I didn’t travel across the Pacific to meet complainers. ha!
I’ve always been a strong advocate to my fellow latin-people in the States that they assimilate into American culture if they want an easier life. They can’t just watch Mexican tv and read Mexican magazines and only go to Spanish-speaking supermarkets in a little clique of Mexican people.. they’ll never learn the language or the culture that way. Now that I’m here I”m taking my own advice to throwing myself into daily Philippine life and simply meeting whoever I run into and trying to absorb everything I can about how things are done here. And complaining isn’t going to help one bit.. might as well shake one’s fist against the rain. ha!
I think one word that you used sums it all up, Henry… assimilate! We should all try to assimilate in to Philippine society. I have tried to do that, and am still doing it, and it works for me! Heck, you have only been here for a couple weeks and are doing it, so you are miles ahead of where I was at the two week point!
HiBob, I have been in the Philippines almost 2 years now and there are a lot of things wrong here , just like in the US
I like the Philippines overall all , but I would not like to live here as I already hAve a ticket back home. A great vacation it has been and will come back for sure but only for a visit. Not complaining Just stating a simple fact
Do what is right for you! That is always best.
Great article Bob, Thank you.. I know that you do not like the Philippines compared to paradise. But For me it is for many reason, and yes I still see the short comings but the good here so out weighs that which would bother me. But like you I choose to look at the positive rather than the negative, because I want to be happy and enjoy my life here. So it is a life choice to be positive of negative and I choice the positive side.
So many people look at the negative side of everything. I like to look at the positive, like you, Luke! It makes for a better life!
I have to agree with you Bob, too many good things about the Islands to enjoy, why concentrate on only the negative things? Some people are just like that, I have to wonder if they would ever be satisfied with any place.
I get the same thing here in the Seattle Area. People move here and then constantly complain about the rain. Have to wonder why they moved here since it’s no secret that Seattle can be pretty rainy.
So true!
Bob, in a fair number of cases it is related to old age and low T. Makes one a crotchety old geezer that has nothing but complaints about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Thats my observation anyway. To be fair to all though, some folks just don’t get out much and when they do they unload on the first person willing to listen. I don’t listen, so I don’t have many problems with complainers.
One tactic of many I use, is when I can feel that a fellow foreigner is likely to zero in for a compliant run, I “act” as if I do not speak english. Works every-time! LOL
You could certainly be right about the old age thing. I still don’t like it, though! LOL
Yes, whining is so very common among foreigners here. One thing that helps me to understand this phenomenon is that a great many of us expats here are older. General grumpiness, crankiness, grouchiness and old age seem to go hand in hand. Don’t give your age away!:-)
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns come with roses.” – Unknown
I had not considered the age factor before, but it seems to make sense.
Another factor may be culture shock. Culture shock is said to have 3 stages. Not all of us reach stage 3. Stage 1 is seen among new arrivals. They may love everything here. That stage can last for one or two years. Stage 2 follows and is characterized by the expat hating everything in the new culture. It can last for years. Stage 3 is seen among only a few expats. Stage 3 is when the expat adapts to the host culture and is able to have a balanced view of the positives and negatives. Stage 3 may be more easily reached by veteran travelers who have been through the process in a number of other countries. But its a hard stage to reach for an older expat who has only ever lived in the West and has come here to retire at 60+.