“Then she told me of her problem with a person she cared about, her foreigner friend. It’s not her boyfriend because she’s a happily married. She just knew this friend for quite sometime now.” – Feyma
“Sounds like a Dear Abby problem to me”. —- From a guy that commented.
Well somebody’s comment about the “Dear Abby” thing that got me thinking. Hmm. I am kind of like a Dear Abby in the net for the Pinays. I am not trying to be conceited here. I not even one tenth of the real Dear Abby. But I tried to be to the people that email me and tell me their problems in life. I am not trained and have degrees from it. But just trying to help the Pinay and the foreigner that married and intending to marry a Filipina.
I receive a lot of emails from ladies (pinays) abroad about the problems they have with their spouses or with the in-laws. They will ask my advice and what can I say about their situations. They told me the reason why they are asking me since I have been married to Bob for nearly 20 years then I have some experience with life. I got some interesting emails down to I am feeling sorry for them. I was not a Dear Abby reader while in the States before. I think I just read her column once. I just heard it with some friends before.
I will give you some sample of the emails I got. I got an email from somebody asking me what to do with the guy that she is dating with. She really like the guy, she said she knows the guy likes her too, but she said they really had big problems with communications I guess being in 2 different cultures. She’s really worried because she felt that the guy has been avoiding her. Well, I tried to give my advice and of course she knows the guy better than I do.
Some other that the lady really wanted to retire here but the husband would not. She wants me help her convince the husband to retire here. She even gave me the email address of the husband. Wow, what can I do to help on that. It’s kind of awkward though, how would I convince somebody I don’t even know.
Some other, a guy asked me what would I think of his girlfriend. He will gave me a small background of the girl and he will rely on my answer if he should marry the girl or not. How could I answer stuff like that I never even meet the girl or know the girl. My goodness.
Or some guy from there (from the West) will send pictures and he wants us to find the lady in the picture. And you know what, the picture that was sent to them by the lady they are corresponding with was the actress or the sexy starlet here in the Philippines.
Some ladies would email me the dilemma they have with their mother-in-laws. They are having trouble handling the attitudes of the in-laws. I have some with the lady has problem dealing with the step children. Some step children were older than they are and having trouble with the money that the husband will leave behind. To think the husband’s not even dead yet. But they’re fighting over the inheritance already.
So that’s just some of the private emails I got from people. It’s hard to tell those people what to do especially I don’t even know them. It never crossed my mind about the Dear Abby thing until the guy comment to me about it. Really I didn’t even thought about it until now of how much emails I got. It’s really coming from the ladies and the guys. Really I could go on and on about it. Some of them that got me thinking for days because of the severity of the problems.
Some are friends (foreigners) for a long time and asked my honest opinion on the woman they are dating with. They are having problems dealing with the girl. The guy want’s me to be a friend to the girl and maybe just tell the girl a little bit of my life living in the USA. Most of the ladies will tell the guy they don’t like me because I am too old to be their friend. A lot of times I just laugh it off and just say to Bob look who’s talking they don’t like me because I am too old for them but they are dating older guys. Hmm, strange.
I am not trying to give out the identity of the people here. A lot of times I get same or similar problems to a lot of people. I am generalizing the emails that I got. To be honest with you I just want that other people can pick out some lessons from a lot of you guys that comment here on LIP. I thank you again for giving people good advices here.
Mabuhay!
Dear Feyma,
I think you do one heck of a great job. I've never been steered wrong by your words and find them nudging personal memories of quite similar situations. For me, of course, things never turned out as well as they do for you. Tell me, where am I going wrong?
Curious
$2.95 per minute for culture clash resolution advice !! Feyma i think your on to to something here ! Really this could work, you have ample experince with both cultures from first hand experience , your age can work for you…a motherly figure !
Dear Feyma; I have met and married the sweetest and most beautiful filapina woman .( i guess all husbands say that!! but in my case its very true !!) i am so lucky! i live in philadelphia ms,i work as a superintendant for a offshore oil rig,i have about 8 more years till retirement .we intend on moving to molugan,(just outside of opol,CDO)to her house there where she is from, and all her family lives.but in the mean time ,we need to live in U.S. do you or bob know a reputable lawyer that knows about these things? we got married for love, and didnt check on these things before hand .we dont care how difficult or long it takes .we will do what we must to be together!even if i have to fly back and forth every month.i know there are advertisers on LIP about easy fiance visa, do you know anyone that has used them?i know you are very busy so i wont take up anymore of your time.if you think you can help us, please do! you have my addy
James, I used an attorney when we had a problem with my wife green card. and I found the company to be very good and quick, plus they kept me updated. I used them back in 2008. I was in Calif and their office was in Florida They are /where on line, Company’s name is A.I.A. the attorney we used name was Gus Soto phone # 800-825-7416. But please before you call check them out on line and see if you are interested in dealing with them. They are not cheap but I do not think any of them are. Everything was done via email, fax and phone.
Hahaha, Feyma, now I know why you never responded to my comment on your article, "A Friend's Problem." For days I have followed your responses to the other readers' comments to your article one by one, from top to bottom. It was slow but you were getting there, I thought. I was thinking, "give Feyma time, she's busy, she will get around to responding to you, you're next in line" LOL But, inexplicably, you stopped responding completely just when you got to my comment.
I really wanted to see what your reaction was going to be about me slamming your friend. I didn't know whether you were going to be offended or what, but I was prepared to receive your "tongue-lashing". Although to this day, I have not seen your direct response, I will sleep soundly tonight with the knowledge that, at least, a seed had been sown because of my comment.
With your "Dear Feyma" column, you probably will not have to worry about running out of ideas to write about. Post the problems in your column, and you can rest be assured you have a world-wide staff to help you with advices. 🙂
Never forget FilipinaHeart where I meet my handsome and tall American husband_:)
Now, happily married for 3 years.
Btw, I am from Polomolok and avid customer of WOWGensan-:)
Hi brian – Wow $2.95 per minute? Hmm now I'm thinking hard. You're giving me something to think about. 😉
Truthfully I gave advices to the people that I cared about. They asked me about my life and adjustments before when I lived in the States and the adjustments living here in the Philippines now. I am a bit hesitant to give advices to people that I don't really know that much.
Thank you Brian for your good thought and nice comments. Highly appreciated.
Good to see you here always!
Take care!
Hi Feyma,
I must admit i had a little chuckel at you articles.
I can never understand why people still go into situations with their eyes closed and not weighing up the consequences of their actions beforehand.
There are millions of single attractive filipina's without any baggage out there.
Like the old adage "Some people never Learn".
regards Chas.
HI Feyma,
You are in a unique situation having first hand knowledge of two cultures if not more. Maybe it is time for Bob to set you up with your own " Dear Feyma " website that could turn into the 50th way to earn money in The Philippines. I think the information and advice you have given to those who have asked you for it very much appreciate it. I got a good chuckle about the age part, Age = Experience.
Good morning Feyma, You write great articles and I enjoy them very much as fellas learn from you. I replied to one of the people today (James D. Jones) only because I used an Attorney several years ago and he and the company did a truly great job for us. I hope you do not mind.
Luke