Time for another edition of Dear Feyma, where I try to help readers with Philippine related issues that they may be facing.
If you have a question you wish to have featured here on my “Dear Feyma” column, please contact me through the “Contact Us” link at the top of each page here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine.
This week, I have heard from a number of people looking to buy or rent property here in the Philippines. I have combined several of their e-mails into a single e-mail that will answer all of them at once. I hope they don’t mind, it just makes it easier this way, and they will each get their answer. Also, it makes it where they will remain more anonymous.
Dear Feyma,
“I am interested in buying a house and lot in Davao. A member of my wife’s family bought a house and lot up North. I like to be in Davao since I’ve heard a lot of good things about the place. I want a place in the city proper. Is there a 4-5 bedroom house in Davao City? Is it safe there?”
I received an email regarding buying a house here in Davao City. A guy wrote to me asking for it. Of course I told him that I saw some places here in Davao that’s for sale with the specification that he is asking for. In around Davao and in the gated area too. I told him that Davao really is the safest city right now in the Philippines. Thanks to the Mayor of Davao City, Mayor Duterte.
Somehow he has to convince his wife first before moving back here to the Philippines. One of his wife’s family members bought a house somewhere in the Northern part of the Philippines. The house that was bought there had the specifications that he wanted. So he really is itching to purchase here if only his wife will say the big yes. I think she will agree to him in buying a house if its near to the family member that just purchased.
He had problem buying up North because the house that just bought by the family member was hit by the typhoon “Ondoy”. The house got damaged. And this guy doesn’t want to be there in Luzon after hearing from the family that the got hit and upon seeing on TV of what happened. But somehow the wife still wants to be there to be near to her family. I can’t blame her for wanting to be near the family. I am hoping that the couple can resolved their issues with the place they will retire later. I can see the point of the husband, but I can’t blame the wife for her decision too. Personally for this couple I think they should just put the moving to the Philippines on hold for a long awhile until both of them can agree a 100% where they want to stay here in the Philippines.
My advice to the couple to really decide tightly so that at the end no one will have the resentment. Moving here is not easy, the Filipina had to readjust again here with the culture and the weather. The husband he has to adjust being here and seeing the poor people all over the place which is not easy at first. It took us like 3-4 years to really adjust being here. Culturally for me I had to relearned being in the States for 10 years, with Bob he had to rom me, the people and from his Bisaya teacher Bebe Metillo, thank God for her. She taught me a lot too.
Good luck to you and your wife. You can email me anytime!
Sound advice, as always, Feyma. And let me ad a personal observation to your reader who asked the question. As most readers know, I am an American married to a Filipina as your reader seems to be. The question of living close to family and not living close to family is a huge question and not one easy to answer at all. I can assure you that the move itself and adapting/re-adapting to life here in the Philippines will be all the challenge any couple needs for the first couple years.
Think twice or maybe more before you tie yourself up in as huge deal like buying a house … especially if you are still literally, the length of the country apart in your desires currently. The financial and mental stress of buying something and possibly saddling yourself with huge payments can easily be more than your marriage can stand. Especially in areas like Angels or Subic up here in the northland, you can find literally hundreds of overbuilt, over priced, built by Americans homes that are for sale for half or less than was spent on them, often unoccupied as the couple has broken up and gone their separate ways.
Rent something cheap and get your feet on the ground first, then make up your mind after you are experienced in living here. After all, how do you know now that you will even last a year? I don't mean that to be nasty, but thousands of folks have moved here and then gone back home in a year or two .. for many different reasons.
Anyway, that's my opinion based on the first three years here … I am sooo glad we didn't buy when we first got here, I think we would have made a terrible mistake, becuase where we want to live now is not at all where we first thought we wanted to.
Hi Feyma, You and Dave made some very valid points. Another issue might be about a Filipina's roots. The letter writer mentioned that relatives bought a house "somewhere in the northern part of the Philippines". Is that area where the relatives are from? Even if a couple chooses not to live close to the family of their wife, often living in the general area of the Philippines that the spouse feels dearly about, and speaking her native language, and being around Filipinos that she can feel comfortable and can identify with I think would be a very strong consideration for her, and often not really up for bargaining. Of course there are exceptions to that, but I think that where you settle eventually in your wife's country can be more of an emotional issue than a practical one. Something to think about…
Hi Feyma – Hopefully your readers will understand that when it comes to typhoons and other severe weather, having a house or other property in a flood plane, a dry riverbed, an old dry water steerage systems or what have you will always result in water damage. There are areas of Manila (actually, areas in all of the NCR) that have suffered from flooding every year since recording such events began.
Ondoy's water damage was mostly caused by water releases from some dams, not by the weather. (Had scheduled water releases occurred throughout the year, things would not have been that bad.) People living downstream suffered from the mistakes of eager dam employees.
It is "Caveat Emptor" (Let the buyer beware) when it comes to purchasing property. Don't buy cheap misery (flood plane property). It may be cheap at the transfer of title, but will be costly when calamity strikes each year.
Our riverbeds up here "way up north" are quarried for sand and stone during the dry season. You wouldn't know where the work occurred during or just after rainy season – rain in mountains = water in rivers, etc. = anything not originally placed in riverbeds by nature is removed by nature. One thing's for sure – there are no settlements, developments or stray single houses or huts in those areas where the water freely flows during rainy season.
Hi Feyma – You made a good point about the poverty. It is hard for me to ignore. It has a profound effect on me on each visit. Great article.
hi my name is dennis im a american do u know of any houses in the iligan city area
Hi Dave – Very good advice. I can't agree you more.
Same here in Mindanao really. Some expats and wife built a really nice house and end up separating because both can't handle living here.
Hi queeniebee – You shared good points there. Thank you so much. Yes the relatives of the wife is somewhere from up North of the Philippines. So the wife wants to be there too. She really had good points to be there near the family. I can also understand the husband wanting to be somewhat away from the family.
Honestly, the husband and wife have to talk heart to heart where they want to live here in the Philippines where both of them will be happy and comfortable with. It's not going to be esay for both of them. I hope they will compromise.
I saw lots of ladies from up North that's residing now here in Mindanao with the foreigner hubby. They said they want to lived here.
Thank you for your comment and thoughts. Highly appreciated.
Hi Paul – Good to know about the weather coming from you since you lived in that part of the country (Northern part of the Philippines).
I've been living in the Philippines almost all my life but never saw the flooding that just happened a few months ago. Here in Mindanao, the typhoon hit place not every year though would be the Surigao Area. They will have strong winds and heavy rains.
I am just hoping for the couple that wanting to buy that they will just hold off and still do a lot of research what part of the country they want to settle in. They need a lot of time to think about.
Thank you for stopping by and the comments. Good to see you here Paul.
Take care!
Hi Jack – It takes time to get used to it. But when you live here give yourself 2-3 years and your kind of okay with it.
Good to see you again here.
Take care!
Hi dennis skeers – Sorry don't know any houses for sale in Iligan though. I will try to ask some friends there.
Thank you so much for stopping by! Keep reading.
Take care!