I will share with you an email from somebody who is wanting to retire here but because of the bad economy all over the world she has to put the thinking of retirement on hold and try to work harder and longer. I’m pretty sure a lot of our readers can relate to this.
“Dear Feyma, how are you? I am an avid reader of your site for quite sometime now. I am a Filipina living in North America for over 15 years now. We have a few things in common. I am a little older than you. My husband will be turning 53 next year. I wanted to retire there, but my husband wants to wait until he is retiring from work and wants to saved ore money for us later. Really I think because of his mom being old and no one will take care of her. He has a brother, but I think him and his wife were just too busy taking care of other things and have no time for my mother-in-law. It really comes down to us. We asked My mother-in-law if she would want to live in the Philippines? We even said to her that we could hire a nurse for her. You’ve mentioned before about how cheap it is to hire a nurse there. So I told her and I showed her your site. She doesn’t want to be in the Philippines. She said that she wants to be near to her family and friends here in the US. The Philippines is just too far, she said. I am really getting tired and getting sick of the life here. I really envy you and your husband and those expats that live there. I wish we could retire there soon. I really hope.
I am wondering, you’ve said that you had big adjustments to make when you moved back there. Is it really that bad? I am curious of what you’ve been through when you finally lived there. I don’t have any kids, so you think it will be a little better to adjust? I want to tell you that me and my husband will live comfortably when we decide to retire there. I want to buy a house there so that we don’t have to worry about money for a house. He will received good money on his retirement. I don’t want to live in a big house there. Just good enough for me and my husband. We liked to travel a lot there and see the other areas of the Philippines. I hope to see you and your husband when we will travel there. I like your website. Keep up the good work. I am hoping that you will write back. Karen “
Hi Karen, To answer your questions on my adjustments on living here. For the first few days coming back it was okay at first. I think I was still in the zone of being like a vacationer here. After a couple of weeks or so, it became a reality for me that I am here in the Philippines to live not vacationing. I started to have anxiety already. I was depressed for quite some time. It’s not fun to be here in the Philippines anymore.
Like after a month, I am already ready to move back to the US again in a heartbeat. Bob and I made a commitment to ourselves before going back here to the Philippines to lived, that no matter what happened whether we like it or not here we have to stay here for 5 years. If ever between the 5 years of staying here that we don’t like living here, then we can move back to the States. Well, thankfully before my 5 years of living here I liked it here already.
Also seeing that my son Chris who has some special needs was well accepted here and well loved by my family and friends, that was really my turning point watching my son so happy and loved here. I can’t ask for more than that. He is really one of the main reason for us to move here.
I will be honest with you it took me like 3 years to fully adjust here. It’s not an easy adjustment. I have my urge to go back to the States once in awhile. You will experience a lot of crying and wishing to be where you are from. To think of it, I am not a shopper person there in the States. When I was in the States stayed home and just do some stuff at home like decorating the house, painting and decorating birdhouses. I am a stay at home mom there, do some volunteering a few times a month in school.One of the hard parts of living here was watching our kababayan (fellowmen) struggle in life everyday. I really felt sorry for them. It was always hard seeing some members of my family struggle in life too. The good part of going back here, my kids at least know my mom. She stayed with us off and on for a few years before she passed away. She like to stay in the farm. My kids like to stay in the farm too. They’re so excited when summer time arrives here. They spent some weeks on the farm with my sisters and brothers there.
To answer your question if it might be easier for you to adjust since you don’t have any kids? That I don’t know. I know some friends that don’t have kids that the wife went through similar to what I’ve been through. In fairness it might be easier with you guys now. When we moved back here at that time internet was just new. No skype or cheaper calls abroad unlike now lots of free calls and text and the webcam. The technology nowadays is really something. Problem in my case my friends before we hardly talk because they are not a computer savvy. I am not either. I know a little bit though. 😉
You don’t really need big money to live here if you are not a shopaholic person. If you live in the city away from Manila, then it’s a little cheaper. It’s way cheaper in the South when it comes to food. Most of the food in Manila comes from the other part of the Philippines and the Southern Mindanao.Where do you want to settle here? I am based in Davao.
Thank you so much for writing Karen. I will advise you to go through all the post here on the sites. You will learn a lot from our early post here. I wish you and your husband the best of luck. Honestly, we went through the same way before. It was hard to accept at first on Bob’s mother. But she knows that we really want to live here and it was really the best we did for our oldest son Chris. Hope you can follow your dream. Good luck to you.
Hey guys maybe you can share some advice for Karen. I will really appreciate you guys help. I know a lot of you guys went through what she’s feeling right now. It is not easy to convince the better half also to live here, leaving his love ones behind there. I hope that they will really end up living here later.