I got an email from a lady who lives in the foreign land and has a friend with a problem. I’ve heard of these problems many times. Just lately I talked to a friend with just had similar situation. It’s really hard to tell the people what to do though. I don’t really care how old the couple as long as they are happy. I’ve had so many friends here and in the USA before that the guy was 30 to 40 years older than the lady and the marriage was really working and they love each other. So for me age doesn’t really matter.
“Dear Feyma, How are you? I stumbled upon your website like over a year ago and find it very helpful to all of us Filipinas who are married to foreigners. Like you, me and my husband are thinking of retiring in the P.I. someday. Hoping that we can really afford to live there.
I am writing you regarding a friend of mine. He is corresponding to young girls in the Philippines. He is most interested on this one girl. To be honest the girl is young. My friend is in his mid 50’s. He would not tell me the age of the girl, I think he is embarrassed about it. He just said she’s not 20 years old yet. Anyway, he is supporting the girl and the family. He is sending the girl to a pretty good school and send a lot of money for her many curricular activities that she’s involved with in school. I think since the girl is so young she is falling in love with her classmate and my friend found out about it. He was furious. He called up the family on the phone and told them that if they would not discipline the girl then he would have to stop sending them money. The mom and the rest of the family promised him that they will take care of it. Well, it didn’t stop there. The girl continued on dating and going out with the boy. The family keeps on telling my friend that they will talk to the girl. My friend is really seriously thinking of cutting them off. He is also torn because as what my friend said the girl is really smart and he doesn’t want her knowledge to go to waste. I forgot to tell you he is spending a lot of money on the side for this girl. The out of town trips the girl told him its school requirements, the cell phone (she “lost” a few phones), to make herself pretty like for haircut, expensive clothing and many more. Hospital bills for the girl and members of the family.
Feyma, I know I said a lot. I think I am so out of touch in our country. I just did not know how the family works now in the Philippines. I just can’t believe that the family will convince the daughter/sister just for all of them to have a better life. What happened to our family values there? I just want to ask your advice and from the people here on your site. I will tell my friend the advice that everyone gave. More power to this website and thank you so much for the help.
I think the problem that I am talking right now is quite common nowadays. With the internet the scamming is really growing. Its up to guys to study and handle it. Just like the woman that emailed me even if she takes our advice to the guy and told him what we say here, its really up to him if he believes us or those people that scammed him. Most of the time they believe the scammers. We encountered similar problem a few years back on our business. The guy believed the girl and few months later he came back and told us that we are right the girl did have somebody on the side. Just try to be really extra careful who you correspond with.