As Bob mention on his column a few days ago, the highlight of our trip to Father Franco’s place was meeting new people especially the 3 ladies who are from Peru. It was really nice talking to them, even the mom although sometimes we had a hard time understanding each other. We did enjoy talking about cooking which we both loved to do. She shared to me some recipes they do in Peru and I shared some stuff I cook here the Pinoy food and the foreign food. She’s looking for a place to buy some ingredients and I told her where I usually buy them.
One thing I asked Mama Cela is whether she would want to live here for good? Marianela interpreted my question to her mom. Mama Cela answered me back without hesitation that she definitely would want to live here for good. I asked her if ever she will get sick and be ill would she want to stay here and be treated here or would she want to go back to Peru? She said that she wants to stay here and be treated here. She said its also cheaper here to have a nurse 24 hours. She really is comfortable living here. I could really tell that they are happy here. The only thing she said that she’s not so happy sometimes the communication gap. She had a hard time explaining to people stuff that she wants. I guess also she’s missing her grandkids in Peru. But she said all in all shes happy living here.
Then yesterday I talked to my mother-in-law and I was talking to her about the ladies that we meet. I told her that Mama Cela really liked it here and stuff. Mom immediately told me that she never would want to live here because its too hot for her. She said she would rather suffer the cold weather than the hot weather. Wow, that was a shocked to me, because we already talked about this subject before that if time comes for her to be taken care of that she would be here in the Philippines and stay here. We don’t want her to stay in a nursing home there, and I know she doesn’t want it either. She said before that she likes the idea of having the 24/7 care here that she knows she can afford to pay. I think Mom really is scared to be away from the States right now because of the economic crisis. I had a feeling she thinks it is so bad here because of what happening now in the States. When she was here for a visit she even stopped taking some of her medication because she was feeling better. Almost all her medication that she is taking can be bought here too.
I hope that she will change her mind later. I know that Bob’s brother and family don’t have the time to take care for her later. I don’t blame them. They have to take care of themselves too. Hiring somebody to take care of her there will cost her a lot of money. Here, my family also told me that they will help us take care of her. If she feels that she wants to stay in the US when time comes up to her. Maybe her family there can take care of her too. Anyway I hope and pray that its still a long time for that to happen. Shes still young. I want her to enjoy her grandkids right now.
Mabuhay!
Kamusta ka Feyma,
Sounds like you and Bob met some very nice people and new friends during Easter and Holy Week.
I hope when the time does come, Bob's mother has a change of heart. But if she doesn't she still has family to look after her in the USA. I don't know Bob's mother of course, but if she is anything like my mother and was born during our "Great Depression", and was a young girl during World War II, and then getting out of school in the 1950's, she has a mindset of feeling safe and more secure in the USA, especially when it comes to medical problems and also her finances are there too in the USA. Of course all of these things can be taken care of right there in the Philippines too. I have a very good feeling that if his mother did come to live there for good, she knows she would also receive great care by the family there, but theres always that doubt in your mind, and "change" is hard for some people.
I know for sure my mother would not want to go to any other country for good. She's just that type of person, and kind of set in her ways. Another reason I know she wouldn't want to stay there for good is it being a third world country, and seeing the poor and the children there, it would break her heart to not be able to care and give to these people, but she could only do so little not being a rich person. She has never been to the Philippines, but she has been to Mexico, and Central American countries many times, and each time she has come back from there, it was very difficult for her to see those things, she loves children so much. Years ago, after one of her trips, she would send care packages to the areas she visited with clothes, shoes, and canned foods when she could. I am not even sure she would make the visit to see me there in the Philippines after I move there, I believe it would be too much of a trip for her, especially by herself, and my father is not in good health for a long trip like that either. And, my mother loves Rose, and chats with her quite often through the internet, and gets to see Chesca on the cam from time to time. It would also be hard for her to leave there because of her grandchildren, right now she has 6 grandchildren, and my 3 brothers and there families are there too. But I guess time will tell, and we both will see what happens when it comes time for her to settle down, and the same for my mother, after I move here…."Different Attitudes" is a great title to this story.
Thanks again for all you and Bob do..is always great work!!
Salamat kaayo,
Danny
Beautiful kids, Feyma! Eha kanino pa ba magmamana kundi sa Mom & Lola!
Hi Danny – Very true of what you said. We are just hopeful though that she will come here when times come though. Will just see what happens later hopefully change of heart. 😉
At least for you you had lots of siblings to take care your parents. Thats one good thing here in the Philippines big family.
Thank you so much for stopping by. And thank you for sharing your thoughts too. Very much appreciated. Always nice to see you here. Take care!
Hi roy – Thank you very much. Of course. 😉 Ha ha ha… Thanks again.
WE'LL SEE WHAT THE WEATHER BRINGS NEXT YEAR AND HOPE FOR THE BEST ..IT WOULD BE SO NICE IF SHE WOULD COME AN STAY IN THE PHILIPPINE WITH BOB AN YOU ….Phil N Jess
Hello Feyma:
I think Bob's mom is just expressing her independence to decide her life. My mother told me she would never fly in a plane. Her words were "If man was meant to fly he would have been born with rocketship on his butt!" Hahahaha! But when it came time for her to see her nephew(my sister's son) living in England, she got her birth certificate and passport and flew to England to see him. And she enjoyed her entire stay! I think when the time comes, she will make the right decision to come and live with you and Bob.
Hi Feyma ! I was reading and I talked to your mother in law a few days ago. She has a strong mind and also has an independent life. Its so hard to think to have to depend after so many years being to care provider but maybe she will miss her grandkids alot too and come in there ! see you soon 🙂
Hi Feyma,
The thinking of one's-country-one's-home is very slowly disappearing.
The world is changing so fast that distant travel will be like driving from Davao to Cagayan de Oro. I suspect those who are willing
will evetually be world-nomads…no country…no permanent home…will-fly-anywhere-kind of attitude…will move anywhere for a certain time for a better lifestyle.
A lot of Americans are now at this situation. Some snow birds from up North no longer stop in Florida…They fly straight to Costa Rica, Panama, Argentina, etc. The best examples of course are the expat readers/writers in here.
As some here have attested, the U.S. has lost some major allures. The lifestyle has really deteriorated even before the financial crisis.
BTW, Peruvian cooking is indeed very close to that of Filipinos e.g. ceviche (kinilaw), pescado a la plancha (sinugbang isda)…well.. they are all Spanish cooking…Filipino and Peruvian that is.
Cheers.
HI Phil n Jess R – I really hope so. I really hate for her to be alone there if that time comes though.
As always I am hoping for her to change her mind.
Take care!
Hi John – Ha ha ha. You know what similar situation happened to us. When we moved here 9 years ago Bob's mom told us that "If something happened to one of us here she will NEVER come here. NEVER". Guess what Bob got ill just over a year of living here. I called up mom and told her that Bob's really sick. He might not make it. You know what that night she really book a ticket for her to come and see her son. She had her passport renewal expedite. Less than a week mom was at our house in GenSan enjoying her grandkids.
Yes I am hoping for change of hearts. 😉 Miracles can happen.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Hi Tommy – Yes definitely she really missed the kids. She's so close to our kids though. Maybe the kids can convince her later to come here and stay here for good. Hope so.
See you soon. Have a good trip. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Hi Dr. Sponk Long – Very true. Thats one good thing on this site we learn a lot everyday from other people.
Yes we have similarity with the Peruvian food. That might be why they really want to stay here in the Philippines because they feel at home here. Will be inviting them over to our house soon. Cook out. 😉
Thank you so much for your nice thoughts.