It’s an old saying… Don’t burn your bridges. It’s good advice, though.
When I first thought about moving to the Philippines, I had met a guy online who lived here already, and we became friends. His name is Mike. I exchanged e-mail with Mike regularly and got to know him well. As time passed, I let Mike in on my plan or desire to move to the Philippines. I asked him what he thought about the idea, or if he could share his experience and let me know what to expect. Back in those days there were no blogs like this, and without Mike and a few others, I would have been on my own.
So, what did Mike tell me? His first words of advice were – “Don’t burn your bridges.” I asked Mike what he meant by that and he explained to me that living in the Philippines is not the paradise that you think. It’s not like when you come here on vacation. It’s coming here permanently. It’s not a bed of roses, and not everybody can make the adjustment. Because of that, it’s good to keep your options open. Maybe you will want or need to return to the USA, right? Well, a good number of people do burn their bridges before coming here. Some people run up debt and walk away from it. If they go back to the States, they are going to have people chasing after them! That is not a good life. So Mike was clear to me… preserve your option to go back!
Mike was right, it’s a good thing to keep that option viable! I have lived here long enough now that I’ve overcome the obstacles that will certainly be present in moving to a new country. I know that there were a lot of times that I wanted to go home. But, over time, “home” became here in Davao for me. At this point, I can’t imagine even considering a return to the States, but getting to this point has not been all that easy. There were hard times that I had to overcome.
So, I want to pass along Mike’s sage advice to you – Don’t Burn Your Bridges! You never know when they might be needed again. For me, I didn’t burn the bridges back to the States, but my bridges are getting a little overgrown with grass and hard to navigate any more. I haven’t used those bridges for many years, after all!
Bob, this is the best peice of advice I have ever heard on an international blog, and I agree totally with you and with Julius, that is one of the things I always say to others, “Don’t burn your bridges” at least until you are well along in your transitional period of adjustment, now take me for example, you know what I am up to Bob, you know I am trying to get my businesses off the ground, thats no secret !, but I will not burn my bridges in the UK as lets be honest, I know the place, I understand the people, I know how to make money here, and without blowing my trumpet too much in front of me, I am pretty good at it as well, and we have a saying here in UK “If the wheel aint broke, dont fix it”.
That pretty much sums up how I feel, I know of many who go to Philippines with a lump sum, blow it in 6 months, and then hove to high tail it back to Farangland, when cash runs out, and group of friendly advisors, soon dissapear, and they also run up debts and then do a dissapearing off the face of the earth trick, legally, yes people will come after you, you will also mess up your credit, and then coming back and starting again willbe so much harder, Bob that is excellent advice, and should be taken on board very seriously – a good peice.
Bob,
I totally agree with you and your friend Mike about holding on to that bridge even if you think that the Philippines is where you want to spend the rest of your life. I've ran into too many people who have burned their bridges in the states by running up debts from creditors and individuals, where they would be a hunted man/women if they should reappear back in the states. I would hate having that thought held over my head.
And I would take this a step further here in the Philippines. Back in the states, they'd only come after you legally, and worse, put you in jail. But here in the Philippines, they take thing a little more personal. Burning brideges could cost you your life and the safety of your family. As one Chinese Philosopher said. "Thread softly and you'll go far". Till next time….
Hi Julius – You are right about the consequences of getting into trouble here. If you do something that gets somebody too upset they will just have you killed!
Hi Peter – Nice to hear from you again! Regarding the lump sum comment and blowing a lump sum – Hey, I've been there and done that! It was only due to some quick learning and hard work that I was able to recover and make a good life here!
hi bob, thank you for that sound advice, "don't burn your bridges". I'd hate to say it but this is my current situation. I have thought many times about running away. I'm a retired veteran and feel that the only way to put the fire out is to explore something lucrative and not give up. I will be 50 next February and wish I had been a good steward and decision maker years ago. I definitely don't want to wait until I'm 60 to be in the Philippines. Time really does fly.
Hi Tony – Young people often make mistakes, like what you say happened to you. That's just human nature. The young are inexperienced, and we are all non-believers when it comes to what the older generation tells us, we have to learn for ourselves it seems. That's just the way it works.
knew a couple, she-filipina he american…they over a period of 12 months applied for every credit card imaginable..then they took the cash value of all the cards ( $40K ) and headed to the Philippines to " retire" ( don't recall seeing THAT retirement plan at Merril Lynch!!!!! ) …lasted 11 months. Came back to bankrupcy creditors. He was 68 she was 55….a little late to start over……Good advice Bob…very good advice !!
Hi Bob,
I too was in the same boat as Tony Grosse, it's easy to run up debts, especially when you are in the armed forces. Luckily for me, I was able to get myself sorted out, before I met Myrna.
We have friends who did the unthinkable. I think it was 1999, when they drove up their debts to the limit, bought a load of stuff on credit, and then went to the Phils with just £20,000. At that time, the peso was only 65 to the £1, so as you can see, they were bound to fail, in their attempt at staying in the Phils. Needless to say, they are now back here some 3 years, and they came back to nothing, just creditors.
That is why were doing it the right way! No credit problems to leave behind, and a contingency plan.
Burning bridges is too permanent to even consider, DONT DO IT !
Bye
Ian
If you burn your bridges, better be a good carpenter. Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild.
On the other hand, being the eternal optimist that I am, never a day is too late for me. That just means another day to try something else. If I don't try, then yes, I've just set myself a day behind again; then tomorrow, the more reason I have to complain that I'm late in the game.
So for as long as we're in good health, get in the arena. Ray Kroc did not start McDonald's franchise till he was 59! Louise Hay did not start the giant publishing company, Hay House, till she was 60!
I'm with you all, let's not burn our bridges. But if by chance, they got burned anyway, let's not cry over the ashes.
Hi Bob- I totaly agree with your experiance of not burning your bridges.
This advice is not only about leaving a clean sheet when you go abroad to live but also applicable when you leave one job to take up another. It's also about friendships and reputations in general. The world has become a smaller place due to advanced communication and types of available travel and it literally leaves us with no place to hide so why put oneself in a position where one requires to do this.
I imagine the majority of people coming to live permenantly in the Philippines are of an age that they want to relax and enjoy their retirement and not have to worry about someone knocking on their door for a misdemeanor committed in another country in an other life.
A clean conscience like a good reputation are healthy assets to have and make for a sound foundation for the bridge you may have to cross back over one day.
Hi Bob- Just a thought but it would be nice to know where everyone who reads and contributes to this site comes from originally.
If you were to write a piece about this subject I'm sure it would make interesting reading and provide you with valuable statistics and a very long comment list.
Hi Zois – Julius has a full plate right now taking care of other things. He has actually asked me to remove him as an author here because he feels that he cannot really give the amount of time needed. I am still contemplating my decision on this one.