If there is one thing that I cannot tolerate in life it is racism. I hate it, I deplore it, and I simply don’t care to be anywhere near it. When I was a kid, my family moved around the USA a lot, and I experienced many different parts of the country. I also lived in South Africa, where racism was terrible (this was in the 1960’s), although I was too young to really understand it. When living in the USA, I mostly lived in areas where racial attitudes were fairly tolerant. However, while I was in High School, my parents moved the family to the deep south of the United States, where racial attitudes were certainly less tolerant.
When I was 15, the place we moved to was in Louisiana. My parents were told by others in the area that they should send me and my siblings to a private school, because the public schools were very poor. So, they did. As it turned out, the private school was not really set up to provide a better education than the public school, it was set up to provide a school that would only accept students who were white. The public schools were integrated, but this private school had rules that only students recommended by other students could be enrolled. It was certain that no parents would invite a black student to attend the school. If they did, they would not last much longer in the school themselves. Well, my parents did not realize this is how it was until I was already attending there, and by then it was too late.
During this time, when I was in High School, racism was rampant at this school. I was a kid still, and while I didn’t feel I was a racist, I just played along with the others so that I could fit in. After leaving High School and moving to an area that did not have as much racism, I kind of forgot about it, and just didn’t worry about it much. Some 10 years later, I married Feyma, and the fact of racism in society crept back into my mind to some extent. I certainly didn’t like it when Feyma experienced racism in the USA, although thankfully it was something that only happened blatently a few times in the 10 years she spent there. From time to time, I also experienced racism in the States, because I didn’t marry a white girl. For example, when my high school friends (I only had a few remaining) found out, they abandoned me and I never heard from them again. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
I have a friend who lives in a Western country, but not the USA (I don’t want to identify him). He is a nice guy that I have known for about 15 years now. One of his hobbies is to forward jokes and such e-mails to all of his friends. Sometimes I get 3 or 4 such e-mails from him every day. Most of the jokes are fine, and I enjoy them, but from time to time a racial joke comes along, and I usually just quietly delete it. A few days ago, I got another racist joke from him, and I decided that it was enough. I was kind of having a bad day anyway, and the joke kind of pushed me over the edge. I replied to him and asked him to delete me from his distribution list, because I simply didn’t want the racist garbage any longer. I think he was shocked. About a half day later he e-mailed me with what I take as a very sincere apology, and told me that he valued my friendship and was ashamed to have sent me that e-mail. I accepted his apology, and I feel that we are better friends now than before, because we established a deeper connection between us due to the incident.
This morning, I met a fellow for coffee. He is an American that I don’t really know, he just reads some of my websites, and while in town he wanted to meet me, something that happens almost daily. Just to establish a bit about this fellow, he is a blue collar American. He works in a factory. By the way he talked, it is obvious that his workplace is integrated with people of many races, as you would expect these days. It really turned my stomach, though, when he kept talking about the n*****s that he works with (you know, the famous “N” word). This N did this, and that N did that. Of course, he threw in the obligatory “of course, I am not talking bad about them, that’s just a term I use…” I am sorry, but to use that word is bad. This fellow is here in the Philippines visiting friends and such. It was obvious by the way that he talked that he has an interest in the ladies here. How would he feel if he marries somebody from here and people use racial stereotypes against her?
I just don’t understand how somebody who is involved in an inter-racial relationship, or wishes to be so involved, can be a racist. Here we are, in the 21st Century, and it seems that such people are common still. How can it be?
I am sorry, but for me… I have no tolerance of such racism. When this fellow that I met with this morning started up with his racist banter, I wanted to get out of that coffee shop so badly! I stayed long enough to fulfill my obligation of meeting the guy, drink my cup of coffee, and get out. It was all I could do to keep from giving the guy a piece of my mind.
How about you. Have you experienced racism? If you are a Filipino living abroad, maybe you can relate some of your experiences by leaving a comment. If you are a foreigner in a relationship with a Filipina, has racism hit your relationship? How did you handle it? What do you think about it?
Thanks Bob!
Your article entitled "Enough Already" really touched me. I have been a victim of racism most of my life. I have experienced both the overt and blatant type of racism as well as the covert and subtle kind. I have taken an interest in living in the Philippines and it is good to know that there are people like you who do not judge people by their culture or color. I really want to express to you how much it means to me that you are willing to speak out against those who use the "N" word or speak ill of minorities. It has been difficult for me to try to overcome the stereotypes and negative expectations of others because bad things have been perpetuated agains persons of color for so long. I recently have began a relationship with a filipina and it took a while to convince her that what she had been told of people of color from America is not true. There is a long legacy in our world or placing ideas in peoples' heads about certain minority groups. Now more than ever I feel it is time for people to embrace dfferent colors rather than fear them or continue to promote negative ideas about other cultures.
Your statement says a lot about the person you are. That guy in the cafe who was lucky enough to have coffee with you will probably never know what a truly good man you are. I thank you for your words. They are encouraging. They give me hope.
Hi Bob.
I find ignorance, a very high dose of arrogance and tons of insecurity in racism. It's really best to leave a discussion where racism is involved. It's a waste of emotional expense and one's time.
Hi Bob – Early in our married life, Asawa-ko & I were driving across the country to visit some PhilAm friends. We had the misfortune of following a highway through rural Mississippi and being pulled over by a truly stereotypical good ol' boy deputy sheriff. Between spits of his chaw (some splattering on the car door), he asked me just what the h*** I was doing, "transporting one of them" through his county! An hour long traffic stop listening to threats of arrest, jail time, etc. had me disguising my anger with a lot of yessirs and nosirs, sorry-sir-I-didn't-knows, we're-just-passing-throughs, and on and on. Once he felt that we provided him adequate homage and grovelling, he let us go with stern warnings to never come back that way again, and that he was being really kind to us – we'll realize that when we're picked up and jailed in the next county over! 😯
We had tasted the bitter end of racism in those early years on many occasions, and these "snacks" brought Asawa-ko and me closer together. Heck, even my late father's brother cracked, "This mixed marriage crap won't last a year!" at the reception we received upon my bringing Asawa-ko home for the first time. Oddly enough, these things fueled our love and keeps us going strong after 32+ years. 🙂
On the other side of the family, by the way, I will always be "the puti" – but only as a way to distinguish me from all the other siblings. Doesn't bother me: I feel happy to be included in the family! :laugh"
Very sensitive subject! I started to write several things and stopped for fear of offending someone.
If anything my wife has been the subject of positive sterotyping; like "filipinas make such good wives" or "they're so neat and clean".
Living in northern Alabama my wife has never, to my knowledge, been the victim of racisim.
Then again, I believe that racisim comes from ignorance and using words like the "N" word comes from lack of vocabulary/education. If someone refers to me or someone else in a way that is offensive to me, I assume they are ignorant and don't know any better.
Just my 2 centavos…
Mark C.
Yes Bob racism is a terrible thing and I applaud you for even staying to finish the coffee given your particular example. For most of my life I have generally dated women of numerous ethnic origins and never gave thought once to them being another race or any less of a person than myself. They were just people. I personally do not tolerate in any way shape or form racism when it is around me. Not even for a cup of coffee.
However, prejudice without racism is another matter and this is where I unfortunately cross the line. You see I am a jew and if there is one group of people in the world other than blacks that suffers from other peoples prejuduce and ignorance it is the Jews. And frankly when another group of people likes to strap on explosives or send rockets into my house or want me off the face of the earth….I draw the line. So I can say that I would have no problem living in a world without ARABS or people like that. There said it. But, I keep this to myself and don't promote it.
Hi Andre – Thank you for your nice comment. I have a conflict in my mind regarding my coffee meeting. In many ways I feel that when this talk started up, I should have simply gotten up and left immediately. Instead, I tried to steer the conversation in a different direction and stay for a bit longer since we just sat down. It's a tough choice to make, although I was uncomfortable staying there.
Hi Dr. Sponk Long – I really agree with you on this.
Hi Paul – That sounds like a very uncomfortable experience that you had with the Sheriff. It would take a lot of guts to keep from exploding on such a racist, especially with your wife present. You handled it well, though.
Congratulations to you for making it for 32+ years – what an accomplishment!
Hi Mark C. – I agree, this subject is a sensitive one, but something that many of us must confront in our lives. I agree with you on the positive stereotyping too, Feyma got plenty of that. And, as Paul pointed out, us white guys get it here in the Philippines as well.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
One more thing Bob –
I would have to say that I for don't beleive for one minute there is a single person out there from the USA and the culture we live in that (muttering under their own breadth) doesn't most likely have some form of prejudice. May it be against a persons race, religion/beliefs/, looks, prosperity, etc….. Not a single one. I honestly don't think it is possible. It absolutely would not be natural and any person that says he/she has no prejudice at all is the last person in the world I would trust.
Hi Steven – I agree, but think that you made one error. I don't think it is limited to the USA, but to every person on the face of the earth.
Hi Bob,
Living here in Chicago (considered the most segregated city in America), is an eye-opener on this subject matter. I can't begin to tell you how much nonsense I've encountered. Once I was grabbed by 2 Chicago police officers on the busiest street for nightlife only to be told to "get out of here" in front of hundreds of people. Also, back in high school during a religous retreat in a part of town known for its lack of diversity, I was slurred by a group of teens in a car. Fast forward to my previous interracial marriage with a woman from South America. The stares and comments behind my back are all too familiar. Oh, yes, I've had my share of racial attacks, fortunately none resulting in physical altercations.
My girlfriend Jeanettte has encountered some "questions/concerns" of having a black American as a boyfriend. I thought, oh not here half-way around the world with the issues of my race. To my surprise, she told them race is not important and she loves me regardless of that. I was prepared to take an angry position to those who questioned her, but she handled it perfectly. Plus, her 2 kids have accepted me as their father, so I am more than happy. If I did sense anyone giving us a not-too-friendly look, I would stare back with a stolid face. That always helped as I wouldn't want to take it to the next level.
You're right that here in the 21st century that mindset still exists. It makes me sick to my core when I come across those who subscribe to that nonsense. It's up to like-minded people like us to help eradicate this disease (and I use the term disease literally).
My wife and I met in Saudi and have spent time in many countries together – including the Philippines when my job brought me – she is based in Scotland and works as a practice nurse – she has both Philippino and British university degrees we have two children and in 23 years we have not experienced any significant racism.The Scots are a very tolerant and open minded bunch – tonight I drove my Scottish Philippino son and his Pakistani Scottish friend to their Chinese Scottish buddies house to go to a party.The young people in Scotland really do not care about race – in this respect we are very fortunate as I have heard some grim stories in my travels – especially in the Middle East . Living in Manila for some years brought a few problems.It was assumed that my wife was a hooker when we were out together and it annoyed me that Philippinos had such little respect for their women that an immediate assumption was made and of course in a club which had a comedian the foreigner was fair game.That was fine if he did all of the act in English – but it was not very amusing when he switched to tagalog to make jokes about me! If this was as bad as it got I have no complaints – some people have suffered terribly from racism.I really believe that the world is getting better in this respect – if not there is no hope for us
For a race that has achieved so much in many areas for the benefit of all mankind across the world, it is very saddening to see the world collectively has have made very little progress on this subject over the thousands of years of our existence…
Bob: I think I find most Filipinos more tolerant than most other places. Race seems to be less of an issue here. The only time I encountered it towards Rebecca was a snarky comment from my brother when we first started dating about mail order brides (which… She was not. We were both expats in the same place). Towards me living here, the "money" issue could be considered racism, I guess, but I think it has more to do with economic reality than race.
Bob: forther thinking about racism here, there is a restaurant in Tuguegarao that will outright refuse to serve or admit foreigners. In fact, Rebecca told me it could be dangerous for me to even walk across the parking lot.
Hi Henry – I didn't realize that Chicago was so segregated. I would have thought that it would be better there compared to the south. I am sorry that you have had to experience racial attacks and slurs in the past. I hope that the situation is improving these days, though. I am happy that your experience with Jeanette was so positive, though, and especially with her kids.
Good luck to you Henry!
Hi Bryan Gallacher – It is really nice to hear that you and your wife have had little problem with racism. Feyma and I have a bit, but not too much, and I am thankful for that.
I have also had the experience here in the Philippines where Filipinos thought, even said out loud that Feyma was some sort of prostitute for being married to me. Very short sighted. I believe it is more a matter of jealousy than anything else.
Hi Nicholas – How true it is! Your statement is spot on.
Hi Bob
I can't say that my wife has experienced racism but I know some friends wives have been treated badly by in-laws. My kids were called white n's by some neighbor kids who I'm sure picked it up from their parents.
Hi JohnM – I don't know if I would agree that Filipinos are more tolerant. Many Filipinos are very Nationalistic, and sometimes Foreigners are seen with a lot of spite. It doesn't happen that often, but it happens. I have experienced racism here a number of times, and it angers me. I try to just blow it off and go on, though. Thankfully it is not too often.
Regarding the economic reality… I sort of disagree. When white skin is seen it is automatically assumed that they have money. That is racism, it is the color of the skin that sets off an assumption. The fact is that there are foreigners who do not have money. Anyway… I understand what you are saying, and we agree more than disagree. I just see the same condition differently.
Hi John Miele – Wow… that is something about that restaurant. That is blatant racism or xenophobia.
Hi Dan Mihaliak – Thanks for dropping by! It is always so sad when bad attitudes of parents are passed to the kids! Terrible!
Hi Bob
There are some "funnies" with racism too… I grew up in South Africa. Right in the bad times. In my school time there was no mixing of races. By the time my children went to school that had all changed. My daughter came home one day and was trying to describe one of her friends, "you know her Mom, Jane, about this tall, was wearing a red shirt….." I couldn't place the child at all… then Jeni says, "oh yes, she is black." Was a total afterthought. Wasn't important at all. As if she were describing someone with blond hair as opposed to dark hair.
The other funny is responses to us here. When we tell anyone here that we are from SA the reaction is always, "but you not black".
I certainly wish that more people had the opportunities that some of us have had to meet people from different cultures. It makes life so much richer.
Bob: you are right that we largely agree. I guess it is more subtle here. In Abu Dhabi, I have wriiten that Becky was mistreated by arabs, but sometimes other Filipinos there, particularly after we started dating. I will say this… Since we are close to the same age, the prostitute comments are minimal, but we've received some. It also helps that we tend to lead a subdued lifestyle.I grew up in the South, and though Rebecca has not yet visited, I did tell her that she may get some snide remarks or stares in some places. Naturally, I want to show her the best in the States, so I'll steer clear of areas where that is likely to happen.
As to the restaurant, it is owned by descendants of ultra-nationalistic Huk rebels who view all foreigners as oppressors. I look at it as if they don't want my money, I'll spend it elsewhere.
Hi Carolynn – I find it quite refreshing how your daughter described her classmate! Funny how it changed so quickly too!
Hi John Miele – The USA has improved a lot in the past 50 years, but there are still pockets of racism, of course.
Bob,
For myself I think racism speaks more about the racist that it does the group the racism is being directed towards.
I grew up in the deep south , Mississippi, so saw a bit of racism. Will never forget sitting in high school biology class and having a teacher tell us that blacks are closer to animals and closer to monkeys than whites since they came first in the evolutionary chain, I remember feeling sorry for the few black classmates forced to hear that garbage. Many other stories as well including one about some black kids we (My brother and I) had befriended in our neighborhood, they later got literally chased out because the guy was operating a business out of his house, they where good black folks. Anyway, In our house was different as we had all races of people as friends.
Regarding the guy that racist with a Filipina wife, Sad thing is wife may not even notice the racist epithets as many Filipinos do not realize the word is racist and with meanings deeply rooted in hate, its not same for them. Once I had to stop a group of pinoys who where talking to a black fellow at a night club and asked him if he was a American n*gger, they meant nothing by it but just the same I felt urged to tell them not to talk about that guy in such a way. To them negro, negrito, negra etc just means dark skin, no deep meaning in hate though, I think they just thought the other word was the same.
Justin
Hi Justin – You are certainly correct about racism saying more about the racist than the racial group being discriminated against!
Like you, I have heard plenty of Filipinos using the N word. It is not racist, though, they genuinely thought that was the proper word to use to describe a black person. When I told them, they were shocked, and I never heard them saying it again.
We all end up dead so no one is better than the other and we will all answer to the almighty. As far as racism I only hope when my fiance gets here to the states i dont hear any crude remarks because here in the states i will speak my mind and will not allow anyone to hurt her in any way i will stand my ground. However in PI i will bite my tongue and turn the cheek. 🙁
Hi Terry Lafferty – I hear you, my friend! Your idea is pretty exact too… in the States, you can be firm and stand your ground. Here, it's better to just walk away. Good luck to you.
Hi Bob
I live in a very racially diverse area and have experienced racism first hand. I was attacked by 5 people after the Rodney King riots at my high school. Being Jewish as well I do hear anti-semitic comments once in a while. While in the Philippines I've heard only two offensive comments. Most Filipinos have no knowledge on Jews.
My dad was born in Germany but grew up in South Africa, arriving in 1936 which saved him and his parents from certain death in WWII. He also left South Africa after college because of all the racism he saw there.
Bob,
Now want to see something real cool, go to club Pump in Cebu if its still open as its a hiphop/rap club where you can see many Filipinos who like the hip-hop culture, Im unsure if that place is still open but it used to not even get started in there until 2am and go until sun came up lolol. They had some good hip-hop DJs in there though which was cool to me as had nothing like that in Butuan where the clubs mostly played either modern pop or old songs from my grandparents generation lolol.
Justin
Hi Neil – I am sorry that you have experienced racism and antisemitism in your life. I am happy, though, that you have only experienced minor problems here in the Philippines.
Hi Justin – Migs has mentioned some similar places in Manila too. It seems so unlikely to see hip-hop type behavior in the Philippines!
Hi Bob,
I haven't experienced any racism in the US. Well, at least not on my face. But, when I was young back in my homeland.
when we we’re walking on the street, pinoy guys would say something very disturbing they say “Prosti” just because I am married to American. I just ignore them. I know who I am and I am better then that… Not all OFW’s are prostitute…
Hi ann – I just don't understand it, why do Pinoys call Pinay a prostitute if they marry a foreigner? I hear it a fair amount too, being said about Feyma or others. The whole culture is about saving face, yet how could they make somebody lose face more than by calling them a prostitute. And, when it is totally untrue too. I hate that saying.
Yes, I agree that being free from prejudice is not humanly possible. Filipinos are no exceptions. Heck, we have prejudices among ourselves.
& yes, there are many "assumptions/prejudices" in mixed marriages there. We think all "puti" are rich so we call them "sir". Positive stereotype, you think? & we think the Filipina wife to be what we think she is (negative stereotype), & yes Bob, we get jealous because she's not even pretty to begin with. All these false assumptions begin from somewhere. And if one has not had the chance to challenge those assumptions as false, then it's likely that this Filipino might carry that prejudice. My point is in terms of race relations, Filipinos did not have the same multi-racial society which the Americans have. So there…
Thankfully, Filipinos living in the US have the civil rights movement to thank for. It's because of them that we do not experience discrimination, not blatantly at least. I do experience racism here but I just shake it off.
To Bryan G., I agree with when you were not amused with the comedy host who switched to Tagalog when he joked about you. He should not have done that. But were you with Filipinos? They should have translated it to you. If it's any comfort, I'm sure the host did not say anything really offensive. My guess is it's the usual, tired joke we here about.
Hi Bob,
It's good that you discuss this very sebsitive issue.
I am a filipino and work for one of the biggest solar company here in the USA and the world. In our Department (Engineering), three of us are filipinos, a guy from India and the rest are whites. We have not felt or experienced evr since of being mistreated. Our being a filipino is being the reason why they hired the third because they see how dedicated we are in our work. In fact, the three of us are the once leading the way in terms of performance appraisal, short of being a role model in the company. We are based in North New Jersey and is therefore very close to New York City.
Thanks anyway and we will just hope that intolerance of ones race will cease.
HI Bob, I am in full agreement with you on this. I have to deal with people like this from time to time, and it disgusts me to no end. When I told my friends and family that I met a beautiful Philippino lady and I would be getting married this June…well some had a problem with that, and did not hold back their racist slurs.
I have never in my life met such a wonderful, loving, and caring person. I love the Philippino people and I love the Philippines. I just don’t understand it, why people are still like this. I find it to be ugly, very ugly. It is this experience that has helped me make the decision to take up residence in the Philippines and become the expat I now long to be.
Hi Bob,
Living here in Vancouver we have always been such a melting pot.
I can remember at about 61/2 coming home from school and repeating a ditty that we skipped to at recess and having my mother wash my mouth out with Ivory liquid soap. (to this day I look at dish soap and can still taste it)
It was made very plain to me that we did not practise or tolerate racism in our house.
BUT
Having said that no neighbourhood,town,city or country is without is prejudices or politically incorrect attitudes.
I….like everyone else am a product of my upbringing and environment and it is up to me and everyone else as individuals to rise above the BS and treat all people the same. I am a work in progress.
You are now probably wishing that you had left your coffee on the table or in his lap and left earlier than you did….. You definitely were in shock and awe
listening to the guy and wondering if you were hearing right.
I am concerned about guys like him…..he probably is NOT looking for a fabulous Filipina to marry….(what would the boys think at the factory???)
He is no doubt looking for the entertainment kind of 14 year old girl.
And it is those kind of guys that make me realize that:
1. I must not own/possess/keep/hold/borrow FIREARMsor BASEBALL BATS of ANY KIND!!!!!!!
2. I must pray harder so as not to be lead into temptation (I swing a mean bat)
3. That I must donate more money to the street social workers to help keep young girls away from sex tourist everywhere.
Just my humble take on life…..
Hi Roy – Not all Puti have money, and because of the stereotype, we often get constant pressure to give money, so even a positive stereotype can be hurtful.
For me love has nothing to do with beauty or skin color. For people here, it is certainly a hang up of some kind, though.
Hi Mauro Caballero – Congratulations! It sounds like your status at work is quite secure, even during these tough economic times! I am happy to know that you are working at a supportive, non-racist place!
Hi Frank – All I can say is this – see you in the Philippines, soon I hope!
When I married Feyma I had a few people who had racial attitudes that I didn't care for. You know what happened? When they met her in person, they all fell in love with her. Some denied that they ever had doubts about her, even though they had slurred her right to my face before!
Hi Tyleen – Yeah, this guy made other non-racial comments that kind of confirm many of your statements. Let's just say that I won't be meeting with him again! 😯
Hi Bob: Racism! Oscar Hammerstein put it best in his musical South Pacific, " you have to be carefully taught ".
Hi Robert Prusso – Hmm… I am not familiar with that quote! Thanks for sharing it.
Hi Bob! I am one to advocate demolishing stereotypes at every oppurtunity. For every positive stereotypes, there is corresponding negative stereotypes not only to the person involved but for other races as well. For example, all chinese are expected to be good in Kung Fu. This positive stereotype puts pressure on a child not inclined in martial arts. At the same time, it potentially ignores non-chinese talents.
I totally agree with you too that– if I may quote you– "love has nothing to do with beauty or skin color. For people here, it is certainly a hang up of some kind, though." I guess shallow people are everywhere. 🙂
Hi Roy – Congratulations! You just left the 30,000th comment on LiP!
Yes, I agree that such positive stereotypes can tend to be negative toward people who don't meet the stereotype, and also overlook their less-expected talents.
Hi Bob
I am happy my family excepted my wife for being a good person and dont care about her nationality, One day at work in Kuwait this good ole boy made a comment ,you didnt marry one of those girls did you, I know he is ignorant so
I just laughed at him, other then that 1 comment I havent had to many other comments of racism . I will say this Philippina girls in Kuwait do have a bad reputation, I have had Thai, Indian, arabs, americans, say that all philippina girls want is the money, so I tell them you know all the philippina girls, some of the
philippina girls have tarnished the reputation of all the good ones, and thats ashame.
thanks
James
Hi james – that's good that your family was accepting of your wife. I don't know why Filipinas have such a bad reputation – only want money, only want greencard, etc. My experience is that Filipinas are great people. Filipinos too. 😉
My wife is the best thing that evet happen to me , and now she is my family and I know we will be together for the rest of our lifes, I am so uplifted when I see all the Happy couples that have been married along time like you and fema and the rest of the LIP comunity you have proved all the negative people wrong.
God bless
Hi james – When you say "my wife is the best thing that ever happened…." I am in the same boat, and happy about that!
Hi Bob
You certainly should have given that guy a piece of your mind, I know I would have done. Happily my wife here in UK has very rarely experienced any racism. I do have a " friend" here who is openly racist and yet is married to a Filipina , I asked him how he can square the two, he gave a lot of lame reasons and I said he was a hypocrite. I don`t associate with him anymore. Being white, I have actually experienced more racism myself in The Phills than my wife ever experienced in UK.
All the best to you and Feyma
Malcolm
Hi Bob- I have to agree wholeheartedly with Dr. Sponk Long and his sentiments on the subject. Like you having children of mixed parentage one always dreads them getting into a racial situation.
I can say honestly mine so far seem to have avoided the nasty side of racisim but I'm sure one day the bigots will try their best on them.
Its a horrible subject but one that cannot be brushed under the carpet.
Thankyou for raising it.
Regards.
Jim.
hi bob – nice of you to touch on this subject. i don't recall ever having experienced racial discrimination (one cousin disagrees, but i chalk that one incident to just stupidity not racism). then again, i lived a good chunk in san francisco, a city with flaws but known for it's tolerance.
however, i'll be one to say (since this is a sensitive subject) that filipinos still need to be enlightened more on discriminatory comments especially towards the muslims, chinese or just that regular ribbing of a friend being ugly because of his dark complexion. Even jokes about one being a yaya/househelp is normal & very sad to me. these off-hand comments can go a long way to making an impression on how we look at race, religion & equality.
i have older relatives in the US who have taken an instinctive liking to any of my cousins' partners as long as they are white and the opposite reaction if they are of a darker race.
one cousin of mine (the "jewel" of that family, being pretty, blonde with hazel eyes) once dated a handsome african-american man who was a stanford grad AND a promising soccer athlete. no dice.
i must say though that this does not compare with the problems other countries have faced regarding racism like the US, Germany or South Africa. But being Filipino, I would like an improvement in our culture in this regard.
Lastly, I recently got a forwarded email from an Aunt in the philippines. It was from an older Filipino based in the US. The email was sent to many of my relatives (including those based in the US & Philippines) because my Aunt found it humorous & wanted to share it.
I'll try to sum it up quickly. It was an email sent a day after Obama's inauguration & it compared the event to OJ Simpson (A black man) finally entering a new home & that everybody waited for a long time for this momentous thing to happen. It was more cruel than i put it, but you get the idea.
For full disclosure, I lean left, but this was beyond my political views & more of how a rascist email like this can be harmlessly interpretted as funny and should be shared to all.
What surprised me was that none of those who received the email replied back to say this was wrong. Many of those who received it were even quite socially active with strong political beliefs, but when it came to family, it was better to just let it go.
i couldn't. i had to speak my mind (shocker) and politely emailed to everyone that we shouldn't be stooping to this level.
my point is, no matter how minor or casual an incident that hints of discrimination may be , it is our obligation to step up & say something. they may not even be bad people, but people we love & care about. a bigger reason for us to help teach them what is right.
"Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience". ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
wow, that was long
anyway, here's another one:
"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right". ~Thomas Paine
Hi macky – No problem on your comment being long – it had a lot of meaning and truth buried in there! One thing I hear so often here in the Philippines is that people always talk about how bad racism is in the USA. I see it here, though, too, as you even pointed out. Anti-Muslim racism is rampant here, and other types of racism as well. Anyway, I hope that within my lifetime racism will be gone. In my years on the earth a lot of progress has been made, and I'm not sure that it can be fully stamped out, though.
The U.S. is hardly the only place in the world that has racists living in all parts of the country. In my travels throughout the world, and having lived in a number of places outside of the U. S., I came to recognize that my home country was hardly the only country in which racism existed. I noticed that many of those countries in SE Asia also were racist, both against blacks, and in many cases white westerners. I found it to be most rapant in Korea, Japan, and even Taiwan. The Philippines? I often found that a number of Filipinos were quite averse to being around black people, and often shunned them socially, and economically. Whilst living on the border of the US/Mexico, and having spent many years raising children in the environment, it became more than clear on a large number of occasions that my children had been discriminated against because of the color of their skin, and cultural background. It's difficult to stomach, and even more difficult to explain to one's own children.
Sadly, I guess the point I'm making is that it seems that the majority almost everywhere discriminates against the minority. I'm sure there are exceptions to this general statement, as there usually always are in generalities: I do think that it's an almost automatic trait of the largest percentage of a majority to behave in this way worldwide. I've never really understood the root cause, and I don't suppose I ever will, but I'd have to say that individuals thinking the way that Bob thinks is probably our only salvation to rid ourselves of this nasty, and sometimes very dangerous attitude.
Thanks for being who you are, Bob. And by the way, you SHOULD have confronted the idiot you had coffee with. Publicly shunned him, and made it clear that attitude just won't be going over too well in the Philippines. Or better yet, convince him to go back home, and stay – the environment he came from fully deserves him.
Hi Bob
I should stress before I go further that I am not in any way defending or condoning any type of racism and no offence is meant to anyone and I do realise Bob that you are taking racism as not being one side or the other.
I abhor racism just as much as everybody, but it must also be remembered that racism is not only one sided as most people see it. What really annoys me is when governments and other institutions bend over backwards in case they say the wrong thing and offend some foreign race or religion and accept anything that is thrown at them or their countrymen and women. Every white man (sorry caucasian) is expected be so politically correct, that its sickning.
Its laughable when you think that prince Harry is being sent to a special school for being a bad boy for calling his Pakistani friend a Paki. Should he also be sent there for calling his British friend a Brit or his Irish friend Paddy.
This Dutch fellow yesterday (sorry, should I call him a person from the Netherlands) refused entry to UK because of his religious beliefs, does everybody think thats correct.
In the US, is there black institutions and others, yes. Is there white institutions and others, no because that would be racist. I think racism has become a word to hide behind and political correctness is totally out of control. Travel the world and see who the greatest racists are, believe me they are not white. Go to Hong Kong, China, India, Pakistan Middle East and tell me their name for a white man is not racist, but who cares we accept it, just in case we upset the status quo.
Jack
Hi Spencer – Yes, I wish I had confronted him, but that didn't come to me at the time. I do understand what you are saying about racism being everywhere, and I fully agree with that too.
Hi Jack – Nice to hear from you. I fully agree with you regarding the situation where one race can do one thing, other races can't. For example, in the USA, there are lot of black people who use the N word a lot when talking about people of their own race. If I said that to the wrong person I might be killed. For me, if it is a racist word, nobody should use it. So, I fully agree with what you are saying.
This is a good subject Bob . I work construction so I hear all the comments made to people around me ..so an so is a n—- and so an so works like a n—- the labors work like a bunch of n—- so I look around but there is no black people or Negros on the job ..so now what ..???? Bob you should have told him right off about how you felt about this word ..can you give this guy a second chance ???? …. you need to explain things to him them and let him decide what to say and if he changes then it is for the best but if not then you can get up and leave ..?? But you can't say you didn't try .. ending racism has to start somewhere ..Hang in there Bob keep up the good articles….. Phil n Jess
Hi Bob
Unfortunately, racism is everywhere and with every race. I have worked with many races over the years and have learned one truth. There are good and bad in every race, judge people, not their race. For the last 20 yrs I have worked with Chinese, Veitnamese, Filipinos,Japanese, Koreans, Turks, Aussies, English,Romanians, Czecs, Russians, Germans, French, South Americans(from every country), First Nations (aboriginals) and lots of East Indians. I have learned for myself that listening carefully and a little patience does wonders. Plus leaning a little of each culture. "Don't touch a plate of food with your left hand, don't make hand gestures (the same gesture means different thing to different people, DO NOT look at one of their women and comment she's pretty,etc. I am not a religious person, but have found that if you ask a Muslim, Hindu, Sikh or whatever a respecful question about their religion, they are eager to take to you. Not because them want to recruit you, but that they are pleased in your interest.
When it comes to marrying a Filipino, I didn't. I married the woman I fell in love with. She just happens to be a Filipino. We met here in Canada and that was that. She was concerned when she met my family, but she didn't have to be. I am from Irish descent, born in Newfoundland. So, I am as white as a sheet of paper. My families comment when they found out I was marrying a Filipino was
" Finally, a Kelly with a decent tan!" Filipinos are the same as everyone else in one respect. There are good ones and bad ones. I got luck, I married a good one.
I have hear racism here at work, even though we have a zero tolerance policy. Usually directed at East Indians. I heard a guy complaining one day about "these dam foreigners coming here and working for low wages or looking for a free ride, hurting us all". My comment was "Oh, you mean like my wife? Who has worked since she was 14 yrs old? Busted her butt to get here for a better life and help her family? Go F**K yours**f.
My kids have run across racism. Also, it is not uncommon for mixed kids to have self esteem problems. I keep telling my kids, you have the best of both. You are beautiful! People lay in sun sun for days just to get half as nice looking as you are. I tell them about racism, "you have aunts and uncles who are white, Filipino and African-American. You are mixed and so are some of your cousins. Why would you not like someone because their skin is a different shade or they are from a different place?
The funniest racist comment I heard was "You just married an Asian because she will do whatever you tell her to do." I think I pulled a back muscle laughing at that one.
Best regards to all
Allan
Dear bob, The first thing that I do when I arrive at work everyday is to read your articles. I am 57 years old, spent 20 years in the military and primarily spent the rest of my time in easten north carolina. I dream of visting the philippines and maybe retiring there within the next few years not because I want to find a wife but because it seems such a great place to live. I am glad that you wrote about this topic today, because I wonder what it would be like for me to live there. It seems that there are no african americans that write about what it is like for them to live in the philippines. Maybe there isn't a difference. You are the closest that I have across that gives some of that perspective. Thank you
TO ALLN KEELY,
allan kelly,
sorry about that. the pc just went. Anyway, the comment about you marrying an asian to do whatever you like her to do is quite hilarious. My hubby will have a lot to say about that. Let's just just say, filipina wives have a way of asking our hubby's to do the chores w/o them realising it.
I remember a co-worker saying the same thing, and the american husband says, man it only shows how ignorant you are, and that you should get out of the country and see how others live to know they're not gonna tolerate a control freak husband.
regards, cris
"I just don’t understand it, why do Pinoys call Pinay a prostitute if they marry a foreigner? I hear it a fair amount too, being said about Feyma or others. "
Bob,
That's an old stereotype that is still probably present in the narrow minds of some people in the Phils. I think ignorant is the correct word.
Back when Manila was the Capital Sin City of Asia and the girlie bars in Subic and Angeles were still operating, thousands of navy men from different countries disembark from their ships to go on sex tour around these cities.
Majority but not all Filipinas seen with a foreigner during those days were either a prostitute or a former prostitue, yeah some service men married their former sex objects . That's the time a famous acronym was coined – LBFM. Because the women are so cheap, those servicemen even invented a game: "guess who's receiving it", 3 or more men sits around a table drinking their beer placing bets then a Filipina prostitute will be put under the table (probably a willing participant ) and would perform on one guy and everybody had to make the right guess on who's receiving it. That's just so bad, I apologize I have to tell a story like this. You'll pity this women if you see them, thousands of them have gotten pregnant and were left behind. I still remember our family summer vacation in Subic Bay many years ago, we always see little girls with blonde hair selling sampaguita flowers on the streets of Subic. I'm glad the US military bases are gone!
I've been living here in Texas for 10 years, so far I have't experience any unpleasant incedent regarding your subject except for some confederate flags/ stickers and on their cars and notes like " Welcome to the South. Now Go Home!". I have met rednecks here who are married to Filipinas, they thought they won the lottery when they married them. One was a truck driver married to a Filipina nurse, all their kids attends private school and he said he always loook forward to going home everyday because there is always a hot meal waiting for him when he gets home and their house is always spotless.
Regards..
Hi Phil – I feel that by staying longer, I gave the guy a chance to show who he really is. I won't be going back for more. 😆
Thanks for your always interesting comment, Phil.
Hi Allan – Indeed it is funny when the guy said you just married an Asian because she will do everything. Philippine women are not slaves, and are often in control of the relationship! 😯
Hi glenn durham – Thank you for leaving your first comment here. I am happy that I get to start off your work day with you!
The truth is, there really are not many African Americans living in the Philippines that I am aware of. I am not certain why, but that is my observation. I think, though, that Filipinos are a lot more accepting of African Americans now than 20 years ago when I first came here. I think that if you come here and check it out you will be comfortable here.
Hi CRIS – You are absolutely right!
Hi Atong Estrada – Now that you mention it about the military guys back when the bases were around, now it clicks with me. I still think it is wrong for Filipinos to call people like Feyma a prostitute. Very intolerant. Thanks for explaining that to me, though.
Hi Bob,
How are you, Feyma & the kids?
As far as I'm concerned: RACISM = IGNORANCE. End of story.
Hope everything is well with you. Let's get together for coffee soon!!! 🙂
Tina – Is that you? I haven't seen you in ages! 😯 I totally agree about racism being from ignorance.
We'll be happy to see you whenever you are in the Philippines.
I have been a HR Director for 14 years and have fought discrimination. I accepted a new job a year ago for a large engineering firm. After a few months into the job I discovered the owners seemed to be racist. Six months into my new job I married a wonderful Philippine woman then after one week they found out I married a Philippine woman 20 years younger than me and I was fired.
The attorneys I have contacted refused representation and tell me I need a magic bullet to file a lawsuit on racism. Most of the attorney's are honest and tell me that if I was disabled in an accident at work they would represent me in a second.
Thank you for your article on racism….because its still here….Tim
Hi Tim – What a terrible incident you went through with your job! That is plain and simple discrimination! Shameful.
I hope that you are able to move on and find another job, and an even better one!
Bob,
I grew up with racism. My family is Jewish. I had a good friend who was from the Ukrane. He would come to my house and I would go to his. I knew his mom and she was always nice to me. One day at school he told me we could not be friends any more. His mom told her it was because I was Jewish and a "Christ Killer".
Since I was raised with little religious training and no bible history, I never understood.
Another thing I always wondered about in the States, people would see a white man with an Asian lady and never heard anything bad, but if you see a white man with a black lady, there was talk.
I know and tell lots of joke and some might offend. I even tell jokes that is about jews or myself. They are not meant as prejusice, just the humor. The famous insulting comedian, Don Rickles once said, "you have no right to laugh at others until you can laugh at yourself."
Hi Bruce – I don't ever recall hearing any kind of joke like that from you before. For me, I think that such jokes are not good, even if told about your own race or religion. It just sets a bad example, and it is something that I avoid.
Bob,
Here I do not tell them as much, probably because of the environment or the changes in atmosphere. It is hard enough to find a joke a Filipino will understand.
Hi Bruce – It is true that the Filipino sense of humor is different from ours. They don't find our jokes funny, but we also don't understand or find humor in their jokes. 😀
Yeah it hard to be half white and half Asian at times. My mom is 3 generation Japanese and my Father is White. Sometime in Hawaii I was not Asian/local enough. Then in the Mainland I as not White enough. My wife being Ilocano, loves it here.
Hi Jay – Interesting that you get such a treatment, or at least a feeling when you are in Hawaii, and totally opposite on the Mainland. I wish you the best, and hope that all is well for you and for your wife and family.
Hi Bob- I suppose most of your LiP readers are not going to be racist, it stands to reason, but it did make me remember a documentary I saw which featured a split in a KKK group in the States, where some of the members had fallen in love with,and married hispanic and asian ladies, and still wanted to be in theKKK, but were shunned by other members, so started their own splinter group! Go figure?
I guess people who are racist dont really think very much about why they do what they do. Maybee they dont think period.
Hi Anthony – I must say that it really baffles me that a person can be a racist, yet also be attracted to women of a different race! It would seem that if you have an attraction for Filipinas, you would also love the people. show reverence, etc. Very strange!
Hi Bob.
Racism can be many things. Racism can be against people of different race, colour or religion.
When I married my Philippina wife 33 years ago, and we decided to live in Denmark, I did not expect to meet any racism for her. Nevertheless, it was there, and we really felt it the first time she applied for a job as a daycare mother. Even that we at that time had small ones of our own, she was not considered to be good enough, for other children. When she got a job at a factory, she was looked apon as a "persona non grata" just being here because of our dole. She was herrassed because of her devoted christianity, and after 13 years of physcological "warfare", she had to quit.
Our children,( they are dark/black haired with a complxion that I call coffe with cream)experienced only little, but even to day when they are adults, they are often being asked "where are you from, what are you doing here, and just resonly our son was assaulted at the street, but since he is good in carate sport, he was not hurt much.
Last, what surprises us most is that we find racism in the church, that we attend.
Sorry if this is of topic, just had to get it of my chest.
Thank you for your web-site, that we really love to read.
Preben.
Hi Preben – You are not off topic, you are exactly on-topic. Hey, I had always thought that you were a young man, much younger than me, but if you've been married for 33 years already, I guess I am younger than you are! 😆 Seriously, congratulations on 33 years of marriage.
The situation that you describe really surprises me, because I think of Denmark as a pretty progressive place. But, it seems that racism happens everywhere. I know that it is a terrible thing to see your wife or your kids treated in such a way.
Like you, I have seen racism in churches too, and that is absolutely shocking!
Thanks for sharing about your situation.
Hi Bob!
I love the picture in the garden with you and Feyma and the other couple. Now, that is what life should be. Racism? I agree with you. When do we have time for that?
Cheers!
Marcelina
Hi Marcelina DeLorez – Thanks for adding your comment. I'm glad that you enjoyed the photo. That was taken at the Restaurant of Grand Men Seng Hotel here in Davao.
Unfortunately racism has spawned an industry in the west .Much so called racial abuse etc is used by groups as an excuse for lawsuits and to obtain funding to promote "racial awareness" etc It would appear that only white people can be racist – in England there is a Black Policemans Association to look after the interests of black policemen . Can you imagine the outcry if a White Policemans Association was formed? We know what racism is and the cause is not helped by a bunch of pseudo intellectuals finding racism where none is intended – much of it smacks of the Mcarthyism of the 1950s.
I have spent some years in Africa and witnessed things there that appalled me more than racism – inflicted by Africans on Africans so I think that those that see insults everywhere should have a look at what some groups who are always complaining of racism are doing to each other.
It is easy to have a multi racial society but almost impossible to have a multi cultural society – would you be happy to have female genital mutilation performed in your country? We have Somalis in the UK bringing in women to perform this and it appears that a blind eye is being turned to this practice.I dont hear much in protest about this from the groups that form part of the racism industry.
Hi Bryan G – Thank you for leaving your comment. To be honest, I am not completely sure if you are saying that I found racism where none was intended, or that is just part of the discussion regarding racism. Anyway, I am quite sure that this fellow was truly racist, and I didn't care for the attitude. I do believe what you say and agree with you concerning things like "black policeman's association" and such – we have stuff like that in the States as well, and I agree that the very fact that it is limited to a certain race makes it racist in itself.
Thanks again for chiming in Bryan.
Hello Bob,
For one thing God's word says that every human is created equal… Sadly our Worldly ways does not accept that. One of my best friends that I grew up with from first grade was a black man that worked for my grandpa in the fields at a young age. We were the same age and went to school together and we were both very good athletes. We both got scholarships to colleges and he then got drafted with the New York Giants in the late 70's and then scored 18 touchdowns in his career with them before being released because of knee enjury. He passed away two years ago. (Johnny Perkins) 55 yrs. old
My disgust with racism!
Hello Bob,
For one thing God's word says that every human is created equal… Sadly our Worldly ways does not accept that. One of my best friends that I grew up with from first grade was a black man that worked for my grandpa in the fields at a young age. We were the same age and went to school together and we were both very good athletes. We both got scholarships to colleges and he then got drafted with the New York Giants in the late 70's and then scored 18 touchdowns in his career with them before being released because of knee enjury. He passed away two years ago. (Johnny Perkins) 55 yrs. old
My disgust with racism! Again, God created everyone equal. So, if you go to college or have any kind of certified training for a career you would hope to continue on with that profession that you trained for right? Well what if you're told that you can't even have the opportunity to be tested because you're your skin is the wrong color? I am a white guy and this is the first time I really thought much of racism after being turned down three times for applying to be a fireman back when I was younger and that was my dream. Back then it didn't matter if you qualified or not, it mattered if you had the right the right color of skin to see if you qualified. If another man with different color of skin out scores me or is more qualified than I would understand and maybe go somewhere else to apply or try to better myself for the next interview. My interviews were with the Fort Worth Fire Dept. and General Dynamics, now called Lockeed.
I just want to say that we are all created equal and I wish that everyone could understand that no matter what we look like.
God made us all.
Dale
Hi Dale,
I am sorry to hear that your friend passed away. It sounds like he had an interesting and wonderful life. I agree with you that we are all created equal. Problem is that in the eyes of some people, some of us are more equal than others are. 😥
I was shocked when I was first married to my filipina wife just how racist the world was. Even some of my own family gave us resistance. The worst offenses actually occured in the workplace. With that said, I would like to also point out how much things have changed since I was I young boy living in the deep south, and to the better. People in general are much more tolerant, much more blind to race, and much more sensitve to racial issues. Yeah I guess we still have a long way to go in this world, but this 52 year old southern gentleman has seen some incredible changes in his life time. Don't you agree that the people of the Philippines are some of the most racially tolerant people in the world?
Hi John Culbreth – Nice to her from you, my friend. I hope you and your family are doing well. As you point out, there have been huge changes in attitudes about race in your lifetime and mine. I find it so refreshing too. That is one of the reasons why I was so shocked when I met this fellow the other day – his attitudes were like I saw when I was just a boy. Very outdated, and out of touch with the real world in 2009.
Well I grew up in Italy and I was lucky enough to be there when Italians were not racists , they were just curious and I'm talking about the 80s and mid 90s.
Now its all different people here seams to be proud to be racist they vote for people who claim to be racists so its easy to understand the situation .
But I don't really care is not my country afterall I'm just here to work what really make me mad that Filipino in the Philippines are very racist too and I can't really tolerate that and I'm so ashamed because I got different different good friends who are black , white , brown , red all the colour basically.
What really racism is for me is when you think that your race is superior to someone else race ? My question is with all the problems that we have can we even feel superior to someone else ?
I heard somebody complaining about the chinese because they basically own many successful business in the country. Instead of being happy that crazy people like the chinese love to be in a place like the Philippines and create wealth those idiots complain ? Unbelievable !
Hi reden – Well, racism is a bad thing no matter where it happens. I am saddened to hear that Italy is moving that way, hopefully turn back the other way. There is indeed a prejudice against Chinese in the Philippines, and that is quite sad.
If I gave that impression it was not intended Bob – I was referring to organisations and people who go on witchunts trying to find racism where none exists – the kind who refused to allow an English – Indian mixed race couple to adopt a coloured child on the grounds that because they were wealthy they had not experienced racism! In England white people are not allowed to adopt children of african or west indian origin as they would " lose their cultural identity"As a result of this and social factors in the black community many who would be adopted and raised in families are left in care.Is this not racism of the worst kind?
Hi Bryan G – I agree with you fully. Regarding white people adopting kids from Africa or Asia, the same things are said in the USA as what you mention from the UK. It's a crazy world!
Just as an unrelated matter Bob I should be back in Manila first week in March – my recovery from prostate cancer surgery is all finished and I have been declared fit. I will be a little late in renewing my residence "I" card as I have to report to work in Malaysia first. I understand I can be fined for this – how seriously
does the immigration dept view this? I dont mind a fine so long as there are no further sanctions do you have any info on this?
Hi Bryan G – I expect there will be a fine, but probably very minor. I had a situation a number of years back where I did not check in on time for my resident visa, and it was a very minor matter. Sorry, I don't have any specific information, though.
Hello everyone interesting subject that never seems to go away Bob great to have read your blogs, For me and my life with racism to be honest i guess i was lucky growing up in the San Francisco Ca. I really have not had any real negative or outright racism directed toward me, only a few times as a very young kid in my neighborhood i got negative comment from a girl who lived down the street from me and told me i was not suppose to live in the neighborhood being a kid it didn't bother me but as i graduated from elementary school thats when i noticed racism in junior high a bit shocking to me but it was not something you worried about. but i still remember that girl and being maybe 1 of the 3 dark skinned kids in the area hahaha my father is Filipino my mother is Creol living in an mainly italian neighborhood and being told that by a little non white Jewish girl who was about a 1 shade lighter than me leaves me scratching my head hahaha i get a big laugh at that when i think of it how silly some parents are to lay that crap on the children racism. Thanks to my parents for giving me a lesson in life of tolerance and understanding i guess it was easy for me being from a multi racial background and loving everything about it.
But anyway keep up the good work.
I am looking Forward to visiting the Philippines
Many thanks Bob
Hi Basil Balangue – I am happy that racism did not ever impact you, that is really good.
Thank you for visiting my site.
Hi Bob well i think because san francisco is a very muti cultured city it helps. seams like people from every culture live here we tend to look at that is a plus and not a negative, yes the bay area is one of the most diverse areas in the country wonderful place to grow up.
Well as far impact on me only impact i see is one of discuss, but i think the internet has broken down a few of these mental barriers. when i was growing up everything we see on the news was black and white, people lived in there own little world not knowing cultures outside of the neighborhood they live.
I love your site i usually keep to just reading but i let loose once in awhile.
Thanks Bob
Basil
Hi Basil – well, San Francisco is certainly a diverse community, in more ways than one too!
I am glad that you like my site, Basil. Let loose more often and comment! 😆
The difference in you and I is that I do not feel any obligation to allow someone to use racist or sexist language around me. I call them on it immediately if they do not like it I politely excuse myself. By showing respect to these kinds of people they never learn. They take others silence as a seal of approval. I am from the South and the silent minority is what allowed segregation to continue for so long.
Hi Tom Martin – Thanks for stopping by and thank you for leaving your comment too. I feel that I was wrong to not say something to this fellow. He caught me off guard, and hit me in a way that I didn't expect. It took me time to think over what he said, even though I knew it to be wrong. Racism is something that I abhor. As I said in an earlier comment, you can be certain that if he contacts me for a follow up meeting, I won't be seeing him, and I will tell him why.
I thank you, Tom, for pushing me to do what I know in my heart was right and proper. I certainly didn't mean to give a sign of approval for his behavior, but I feel that by my inaction, I did give that sign. It won't happen again.
racism isee it every day im black/white/indian my skin is fair i have been called the n/word yellowboy twinkie capt.crunch lite and bright and almost white and the famous one "boy" are monkey boy. but not in the philippines the people there are great but that doesn't mean it will not happen you don't see many filipinos married to black men maybe 1 in 90 are i know in grand rapids michigan may be about 15 of us are married to a filipino. im not a racist i've dated white german indian black mexican and so on i would help anyone do anything for people no matter what color you should see the look on peoples faces when my wife tells them im married to a blackman whaaaaaattt like the lady who raised me ( mother didn't raise but i still love her ) you will always be talked about because you are black the day you are born people will talk about when you grow up and when you die you will be talked about the only word will b the "n" word
good job 32 years lucky and god bless you and your family.i know what you and your wife went through i lived in a small town ( danville, ill ) one day i was going to the store it was raining iwent by this one house the man on the porch said hey "n" bring me my news paper its raining i dont wont to get wet i said what sir he said you heard me "n" bring me my newspaper i thought about this for a minute and said a few choice words to him and ran i was about 12 r 13 years old he yelled if i see you "n" i'll kill you.that was my wake up call to see how some people are
Wow. I've been married to my awesome wife for 20 years. She's Filipina, very active in the FilAm, and I'm Black. Our children are honor students and we (or I) live a very quiet life.
When I was in the Philippines many years ago, some locals chanted "Monkey Man" and I was absolutely clueless until it was explained to me what was going on.
Our goal was to return to the Philippines where our family is nothing short of awesome there. However, I'm concerned with possible racism.
Our home is ready and everything is in place. I've put off taking the flight twice even though I'm in the air twice per week.
After experiencing "you talk different" after earning an expensive education for employment that does not have room for second guessing, I've second-guessed my decision to move.
If more people were like Bob, it would be a no-brainer.
In fact, my first consideration was to move deep into one of the provinces, almost secluded. Then, I read from many sources how I could easily become a target.
I don't live in fear. However, I don't want to live in frustration. These are the years to plant a garden, rest up on the beach with candles, wine, waves and sunset, or to do absolutely nothing.
I would hate for paradise to become a living hell. So, the house sits empty as family take care it. I would appreciate some feedback.
My wife rocks and we have awesome friends. Unfortunately, some chose South and Central America. We chose the Philippines.
Well, I'll end the passionate rant and wait for feedback.
Bob, you're awesome and I love the forums.
Junior