I got an email from somebody. I won’t mention his name. He is a foreigner married to a Filipina from the North of the Philippines. Here’s part of the email he sent me.
I am married to a Filipina. We have a 6 month old baby. Here is my question: My wife has a 17 year old son back home. Occasionally, I send him money. Today, my wife called to ask him if he has received the money, to find out my wife’s brother is trying to extort money from him. He threatened to physically harm her son. I told my wife to have her son call the police on his uncle but she says the police will not come. She said the police do not get involved in domestic disputes. Is that true?
I really thought that whenever you called up the police and asked for help they will help. Also I thought that they will not help out to the family disputes if the family itself would not ask any assistance from them? For me if the police would not help, who will help then to the people that are in trouble? I was shocked when I saw the email that the 17 year old can’t ask for help. I thought the job of the policemen was to help. So any advice from here will really help these people.
It’s already bad enough that the uncle can’t be trusted by this family, then the police can’t help out too. I email back the guy that wrote to me if him and his wife were thinking of letting the son move somewhere away from the uncle. Maybe that 17 year old will get a part time job while going back to school and they’re also sending money to him anyway. He should just have to be on a tight budget. I’m sure he will be okay without the uncle. It’d really unfortunate of what happened to this stepson of this guy. I hope that the other family will try to help out too.
To the person that emailed me, good luck to you and your wife. I really do hope that somebody can help you out. I hope that some people here can give good advice to you and be very helpful to your stepson. Will pray for his safety.
To you all that help advice thank you very much! God bless!
Hi,
This is a sad, and not uncommon situation, unfortunately. We had a similar situation at one time, which was only resolved by my personally offering to travel to the philippines and "discuss the matter on a very personal one to one basis, in private, with the individual concerned".
Other than that, I believe that one can involve the Barangay captain in such matters. Someone local with a lot of local knowledge, and who probably knows the people involved can sometimes intervene quite effectively.
Good luck in resolving the situation anyway.
hi feyma,
If the 17 year old son doesn't want to ask for police help, he can contact the Bantay-Bata 163, or the DSWD, he can get help from barangay captain, the situation seems to be a crime in nature since it involves an "extortion" that is not a domestic problem even if the involved person is part of the family.
Hi Feyma.
The advice of Jim is excellent. In addition, the foreigner and his Filipina wife
may also consider the following:
1.) The foreign husband may adopt the child of his Filipina wife so the son can join his mother abroad and be away from trouble. This is allowed under Sec.7 (b) of Republic Act 8552 (Rule and Policies on the Domestic Adoption of Filipino Children…)
2.) Pending the adoption proceeedings, the son can go to school and live with another decent and reliable relative or close friend in another place, with the mother paying for his board and lodging and school fees and needs so the son will not be considered a burden and be subject of eventual resentment.
Or, if there is no such relative available, and the son is a responsible one,
he can live in a board and lodging house near his school independently, away from the place where the uncle can easily harrass him again about money. (I used to live in a boarding house near my school (UIC Davao) when I was 9 yrs. old and still turned out ok. Though I must say, I got to go home to my parents in the province, on weekends and later monthly). A close relative must however first accompany the child to assure that the boarding house or dormitory and the people living there are alright.
Hope the above helps.
Keep up the Samaritan spirit!
Imee
I know of a Filipina that was attacked by her husband. She went to the police and they sent her to see the Barangay Captain. She felt that would be useless but I think it was probably the way to go.
The Barangay Captain may be willing to have that private one on one conversation that Jim suggested. It would probably be best for it to be the mother be the one that contacted the Barangay Captain since you don't want to pit a foreigner against a Filipino.
I know a Barangay Captain and he frequently gets involved with such things. Often it is foreign men mistreating their Filipina wives.
If the family has a group of elders, it would seem to me that would be the best place to start but I may not understand all the ramifications involved with that. I doubt my gf would go that route but I don't understand why. I may not have enough understanding of the culture for that deep of a situation yet.
That is pretty extreme and it is very sad.
to the wife of the sender….. I was a volunteer in ABS CBN Foundation and you might want to call them or the bantay bata and ask them to help you. Some of our rules are not clear and some are not being implemented. I hope that you will be alright. Police do not get involve in domestic problems but you can always ask someone out there to help you. ABS CBN Foundation Tel. No. 4110846.
Hi Feyma
It's unfortunate that things like this happen but anytime money is involved there is the potential. i like the idea of the son moving to a safe place.
Feyma
Easy to say but perhaps they should arrange for him to move out of harms way to another City
Hi Jim Hannah – Your family should be very happy that you traveled a long ways just to solved the problem. At least they saw that you make the time and the money to be here. I hope everything is fine with your family.
Yes, Barangay Captain can resolved a lot of the problems in his Barangay, especially if he is not related to the accuse or the accuser. I really hope for the best on this kid though.
Thank you so much on your comment.
Hi dans – I sure tell this person to try to contact the Bantay Bata 163. They should be the good people to contact with.
Thank you so much for your input.
Hi I.M. Schneider – Thats a good advice. I will forward all the advice to him so that he can weigh his options. I know they really had a hard time right now, especially the mom to be away with her son in time like this.
You guys advice really is a big help to this people. I thank you for that.
Thank you for taking the time to give comment here for this person. I really appreciate your help.
Hi Rusty – Really the Barangay Captain would be the best help for this kid. I just hope that the uncle is not the best friend of the Barangay captain. Sometimes it would be hard for the Barangay captain to be against his best buddy.
I agree with you it should be the mom of this kid would contact the Barangay captain. If its the foreigner it might be misunderstood.
I really thank you for your advice. I appreciate very much.
Hi hannah – Thank you so much for a good info. I will email it to him all you guys advice here. I do hope that the mom would call abs-cbn's bantay bata. They really need to do it for the kid to be safe.
Thank you again for your help. Take care!
Hi Dan Mihaliak – Thats for sure. The uncle just think he has the power over this kid that he will just take away the money. I don't know if the uncle has job though? Maybe not.
I hope they would transfer the kid too to be safe.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving comment. I appreciate very much.
Hi John – I hope so really. I am really hoping for the best on this kid.