Filipinos are only out for your money.
I hear it every day from a lot of foreigners. I hear it from people I meet with face to face. I hear it from people who e-mail me. I remember when I first got married to Feyma. So many people told me – “Oh, she only wants a green card.” Imagine, if a lot of people told me that to my face, how many people were thinking it but just too embarrassed to speak up? Lots, I am sure.
Well, Feyma and I were married nearly 19 years ago, and we are still married. She got her green card, but she still stayed with me. She even became a US citizen and stuck by my side. Even when I convinced her to move back to the Philippines, she did so. Funny how that happened, but so many people told me that after she got a green card she would be out the door.
What about this, though, that people say Filipinos only want money? Do you believe it? I mean, when you go to the market, they sometimes add an extra P5 onto the price because of your white skin, they must be out to take your money. What about the “white man tax” that so many foreigners talk about.
Well, let me tell you about something that happened this week, and you can think about it, and decide if you think that Filipinos only want money from the foreigners.
This week, one of my sisters-in-law came to visit, and she brought along her young son, who is 4 years old. He is a cute kid, and really a polite and friendly little fellow. Of course, I know him, but I don’t see him very often. I enjoyed spending some time with him, though. I like kids, and it was fun to play with him, give him a few special treats that he would not get at home, etc.
There was one thing that reallly bothered me a lot about him, though. His teeth were absolutely rotten. I mean they were black with decay. His teeth were among the worst that I’ve ever seen, and it made me sick to even look at them. Not only was it a sickening site literally, but to think that this kid was family, and in this kind of condition was something that made me feel badly.
I say this not to embarrass anybody, but am simply stating a fact. I won’t name anybody involved, and none of the readers of this site would know who the kid or his parents are anyway.
The next morning after they had arrived, I had a talk with Feyma about the youngster. I told Feyma that I wanted the kid to be taken to the dentist. We have a regular dentist here in town that we use, and whom we also recommend to a lot of readers who visit here. Her name is Dr. Lourdes Lebosada. I consider Lourdes not only my dentist, but a good friend as well. She has always taken good care of me when I’ve used her for dentistry, but also has been friendly and helpful to me whenever I have encountered her.
I decided to come along with Feyma and her sister when we took the young man to the dentist. I wanted to see Lourdes, and to talk with her about what would be needed to get this kid’s teeth straightened out and make him healthier. To be honest, when I saw Lourdes examining this child, I felt bad that Lourdes even had to put her hands inside, or even near, this kid’s mouth. It is something I wouldn’t want to do. But, Lourdes did it, all the while with a smile on her face and a pleasant attitude too. I asked her what needed to be done to get this kid on the right path. She recommended that he have a fixed crown put across his front teeth after she did some work to clean the teeth up and stop any decay. I asked Lourdes, how much will this cost me?
I was not only surprised, but so grateful to Lourdes when she said to me that she would do it as a favor to me. I have done things for Lourdes in the past. Last year, I helped her set up a website, and put up some web advertising for her, and in exchange she got all of my dental work all caught up. Let me say here, I am not writing this as any kind of advertisement for Lourdes. I am genuinely writing this to show that Filipinos are not out to take money from foreigners.
Today, my nephew came home from the dentist with all of his teeth fixed up, a bright white smile on his face, and looking great! Even at just 4 years old, I believe he was very self conscience about his teeth before, because I never really saw him smile much. Today, he was all smiles. It made me feel really good to see that.
The final thing that we had to do, though, was to teach this kid about how to properly brush his teeth. I also told him that whenever I see him I am going to be checking his teeth, so he better make sure to take good care of them!
I was hesitant to write this article, because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was belittling my nephew or his mother. But, this is something that made me feel so good in so many ways, that I just felt I needed to write about it.
So, anyway, next time you hear about the “white man tax” or how every foreigner is overcharged, think about this. The dentist did this work for me for nothing, free, gratis. Do you think she was “out for my money?” No, she was not, and it’s important to remember that the vast majority of Filipinos are not out to rip you off. Yeah, there are a few who will try to take advantage of you. But, think about it… aren’t there people in your home country that take advantage of others? It is something that happens everywhere in the world, not just in the Philippines.
Thank you very much, Lourdes, if you read this. You are a kind lady, a good dentist, and a good friend. Your generosity will certainly be repaid some day in some way. I am very confident of that.
not all filipinos are money hungry !but it just seems that filipinos have the impression that all americans are rich and can afford being over charged! thats why i send my wife out to buy things when we are in cebu once they see me its all over! we bought some furniture for my family first my wife went with my sister in law to pick it out and then they paid for it when it was time to pick it up the sales clerk was mad when he saw me standing next to them. my wife had haggled the price down real good and he was visibly upset knowing she was married to a american, i doubt he would of gave her that deal if he had known about me!
I have seen the major dental problem for young kids in the Philippines as well. My nephew who is 3 1/2 has black baby teeth their is a thinking that baby teeth care is not important its best to let them go bad to fall out sooner to get permanent teeth faster. My filipino wifes cousin her son who is 5 thinks the same his teeth are black too, she is married to a foreigner who has money but the child is not his. We have a 3 1/2 yr old daughter and I told my wife it is important for her to brush her teeth. I have had to have my wife go to the dentist after we were married she had at least 8 cavities.
Hi Arnie – shame that the American husband does not take care of the child’s bad teeth.
Bob, Overcharging is common but the term is a bit misleading. For example,many retail businesses in the states have huge mark ups on goods & services. In the Philippines,competition is incredibly stiff & money often scarce. Often the profit margin (especially derived from a good haggler) is so small,the vendor/business can barely cover overhead,let alone put food on the table for his family. I know it grates on some folks to pay a bit more than locals,but unless the overcharge is flagrant,it doesn’t seem to me it indicates a person has done anything terribly wrong.It is more survival than dishonesty in the majority of cases. Anyway,I can understand an American with a $600.00 per month SS check & nothing more getting pissed,but even they are much better off than the average Pinoy.
Hi Mitch – Based on your comment, I am not sure you read the article, but perhaps you only based your thoughts on the title. The point I made in the article is that most Filipinos don’t overcharge, don’t go for your money, and do things for free even.
Hi Bob. Yes,I did read the article & the posts that followed. Where I made the mistake was in addressing the post to you,when in fact I was making a general comment intended primarily for those folks who are frustrated with being charged more than locals .My experience is mixed. I have seen great act’s of kindness & generosity similar to your experience with Dr.Lourdes & have experienced blatant selfishness, outright rip offs & con’s. It seems to me,if a foreigner has a level head,he will make the adjustments necessary to adapt,understand an avoid most of these sort of problems over time.
They all overcharge in my area. I had a brother in law go to a stand by himself and buy a certain number of ears of corn. He was charged 20 pesos. My wife and I went to the same lady and bought the exact same amount. We were quoted 40 pesos. This is a common thing for everything. It’s not 5pesos more, as you state. It is double in many cases. We cam here a month ago, with the intention of living here. I can’t wait to go home. My wife had her wallet stolen out of her purse on a jeepney, along with a substantial amount of money. We had a solar light stolen right in the front of our house. Were charged 10,000 pesos to register a car. Everybody else I asked said they paid no more than 3000. I am talking a renewal, not a new registration, with a name change or anything. We have been here one month…Jan cannot
come fast enough. We give money when asked, or to the homeless on the streets. We contribute to the barangay, yet some vendors in our barangay still over charge us, compared to locals. It’s ridiculous.
Hi Patrick – You have to learn the art of negotiation. We westerners have lost the skill, because prices are fixed in the west. When I go to the wet market, I pay the same price that local people pay. I speak their language, and I negotiate. Learn the language, learn how to negotiate instead of just giving what is asked. You will find that you can do it.
Hi
I have lived in the Philippines for over 13 years (British citizen), and the double standards here really PXXX me off, I earn around 500 UK pounds a month (not alot) and I have been robbed on a daily basis by double standards, my home has been robbed of thousands of pounds, yayas have robbed me many times, and my Ex wife (filippina) was sleeping with other men while she was married to me, I worshipped the very ground she walked upon, there are many stories I will tell one day, and believe me there are not many good ones.
Wow, Keith – Given that you have lived in the Philippines for a long time, about the same length of time as I have.. I would have figured that you would have learned to deal with issues facing you a bit better by now. We all go through problems adjusting and such, but by this time in your stay, you should have all of that ironed out. The way you talk, it is as if you have just recently moved here and everything is still new to you.
Sorry BOB, but are so very wrong, you must walk around with blinkers on, or you are one of the minority who is so happy, that you have become blind to what’s really going on around you.
I (British citizen) have been in the Philippines for 16 years, if I do the shopping, I have to pay white man tax, pay double if not treble to what the locals pay, I also ran for President of my Sub-Div, I won the election far above anyone else, but the previous board would not handover the Association assets, and when it came to fighting the previous board, my own board members where to afraid to fight.
My Filipino (ex) wife was caught in bed with one of her co workers, after eight years of marriage, she ran off with both my daughters, to which I am trying to still find.
And my girlfriend stole every thing I had (cash) and also stole seven months rent and seven months payment on my bike, not to mention seven months Association dues, she has also stolen my ATM card and helped herself to cash from my bank account, and she also has over 100,000.00 in bad loans, this all was discovered all at once, I do still love her and she has apologised (many hours of crying on both sides) but I am finding it hard to trust her ever again.
I have had my home robbed many times, in fact the Police are close friends now that we see each other so many times.
I can go on and on, there are more incidents than the brief story I have told here, from many different Filipinos.
I have a lot of white friends here whom all say the same, most of them have lost MILLIONS in Pesos to their wives and so called friends, you BOB are in the minority, and very blessed to not have had to deal with such bad incidents as those I have described above, I hope you never see the real Filipino, because it will change how you think of them.
One day I am going to write a book called “the real Pearl of Asia” god bless for taking the time to read this article, oh I do still love the Philippines, and I am still here, for how long I do not know.
Take care, and all the very best.
Keith.
Hi Keith – Wow, thank you for letting me know. I have lived here for 16 years, so I am really a newbie. I don’t have blinkers, but I guess I have blinders. Thanks for watching my back!
The law is the law, and everyone should be the same, why do white men have to pay WHITE MANS TAX, some of us (foreigners) don’t earn that much more than they (filipinoes) do, so why do we have to pay more, I have lived in the Philippines for 14 years, so I know what I am talking about.
And to say because we are foreigners we should understand, is just not good enough, we don’t do it in the UK, so why should they do it here, it all boils down to corruption, plain and simple.
Hi Keith, you have been living here for about the same amount of time as I have. I don’t understand how you could be paying higher prices after so long. I pay the same price that Filipino people pay. Can you speak the local language? That makes a big difference.
the simple answer is I get a filipino to do all my shopping (and a real beauty she is), but it should not boil down to this in the first place.
I once ran for board member on the Association in my SUB DIV, I just wanted to be on the board, no intention of being president, but guess what!, I was voted as president far and above anyone of the other candidates, after a year of fighting the old board to hand over assets of the association, I ran out of cash to defend my position, they never did hand-over, even after seeking help from the HLURB who informed me what they where doing was illegal, weather you like it or not corruption is rampant in the Philippines.
Interesting that you did not answer the question that I asked. Really, it sounds like you are more interested in complaining instead of making positive changes that will improve your life here.
All I can say is good luck to you.
Every Phillipinno woman I’ve ever met only wants men, they don’t care if he is married or not–they prefer to be the pampered mistress than the faithful wife, with money in exchange for sex. So does that tell you something there about them????
You are hanging around with the wrong crowd, D.
what I want to know is if Lourdes would like to be a US citizen. Cause that’s what I am in Manila to look for. I am not kidding. I”m 62 and a single US male, here for a bride who can make good money in a bad US economy
Lourdes is happily married. She would have no interest.
More forieners think here Philippines pinay only money want.sorry but inot true lol
For me. Love yahh need money but have. Love
Hello Laica – In some cases it is true, but it is certainly not universal.
From my experience most Filipinos are kind and giving people. It is clear that there is a reputation of Filipinos being out for money more so then most. Why do you think there is that reputation?
C,mon Bob, one instance out of how many thousand. You,re pretty well known anyway not some cowboy off the plane, so I would expect you get less of it. Sorry to sound like an ass but we all pay "skin tax" or "long nose tax" as someone called it, and I have filipino friends who willingly admit that mode of behavior is common. I,m glad you have found someone you can trust and work with, as have I,and i,m sure this dentist is not the only one, but unless you,ve been in the community for some time and have become known then you pay more, thats just the way it works. It doesn,t happen to me now in my area because I know the price of things and am a familiar face but any new area i,m in I halve the first qoute i,m given or ask for local price, let the games begin.
nice you know some nice pi women I was married to one too they are no better or worst
then white women . I was hoping for more insight. I find that they like a lot of beauty contest and if you are not with a filipino group or wife they that live here are more colder then those in PI
I am sorry if I did not provide enough insight in the article. Maybe next time. I hope you could also provide more insightful comments as well.
Human Nature I guess. The stereotypical,perceived rich man versus poor man. But Bob is right, anywhere you go around the globe, there are the kind, well-bred poorer relatives who are NOT out to get you or your money. Same in the Philippines. Among these latter ones, it's just the way they've been brought up; they simply won't take advantage of anyone regardless– not for money, or race, or your status in society.
I should add this happens to my friends in Thailand as well and is more a mode of business rather than any evil conspiracy by the population, just incase I sounded negative.
Hi Bob, yes of course it happens in every country in the world and not ALL Filipinos are after your money.
Although reluctant to disagree But I have to be honest here and say that a lot of people that I met whilst living in the Phils did look to obtain money from me in one way or another. I'm not saying it was a scam or fraud, it just seemed to come across that it was some sort of right to overcharge me. I always found people that I knew well saying that they could help me to find/obtain this or that, but it usually worked out that it was helping themselves or friends/family. I won't bore you with the many examples that I could quote.
These were really nice people and yes I would call them friends but with a small "f". I don't think that they saw it as being wrong, they believed that I could afford it and probably saw some of it just as a sort of finders fee.
It still doesn't taint my view of the Phils too much, I am just very wary and cautious with people when I meet them. I also realise that there are just as many Filipinos that will help you when you are in need and not look for a penny from you.
We learn by our own experiences in life and that was one of mine in the Phils.
Hi Bob, Yea, I heard this stuff also from people. Usually said in ignorance. When I first went to the Philippines to meet my fiancee (who is now my wife) we did have a tricycle driver double charge because of me being american and that made my mother in law furious but that was the only time I saw that. The vast majority of Filipinos I met are generous to others.
Hi Bob,
Oh how many times have I heard that comment? I had such comments thrown at me from so-called friends. Needless to say, I pay no attention to the rhetoric. I've experienced nothing short of kindness and fairness from Filipinos. During my recent visit to Davao, I had a chance to visit the home of my girlfriend's sister, her husband and their son. They had a simple one-room home and not in the best condition. Well, they drove me back to my condotel and I offered a few hundred pesos for their kindness. Surprisingly, the husband declined my offering and thanked me for the visit! I was left speechless and humbled. Here was a family in obvious need, but didn't take my financial offer. I'm still speechless to this day.
Hi Bob,
I wish some people would get real.
Its only filipina's!,so people in our home countries don't try to rip us off,do me favour! Many people all over the world are opportunistic given the chance.Wherever you are in the world as a tourist or stranger,some people will try to overcharge you or rip you off.They need to learn to be streetwise and how to barter.
Women from all over the world when looking for husband material are looking for someone who is a good provider and can give them security.There are also gold diggers all over the world.We can't tar everyone with the same brush,there are good and bad in every nation.
You just have to be selective that you don't fall for a gold digger.
regards Chas.
Hi mike – I agree that many Filipinos (certainly not all, though) have the impression that all Americans are wealthy. There are some who are going to try to rip you off, but certainly not all, not even a majority. My experience just is not the same as what you hear from people that you have to constantly keep your hand on your wallet, etc.
Hi Ben – It's hard to say how the reputation came about. Yeah, there are some Filipinos who are out for money, just as some Americans are, some British, or whatever country you might choose to look at.
Hi Daryl – I choose to make the point with one instance, but stuff like this happens to me often, very often, when dealing with Filipinos. A year or so ago I wrote an article about a taxi driver who gave me a discount because he didn't have the proper change for the money that I had.
Skin tax? Long nose tax? No, Daryl, that is not my experience. Are there some who try to take advantage? Yes, of course there are. But, the majority do not, in my experience.
Hi sesaria – I fully agree.
Hi Daryl – I'm afraid that you do sound negative. Maybe you had some bad experiences that caused you to feel that way, which would be understandable. My experience is that if you show friendliness to Filipinos, it goes a long, long way.
Hi gerry – I'm sorry that you have had this experience with a lot of people. I've had the experience too, but only in a minority of transactions, and a small minority at that.
kamusta bob
wow what an awsome article.im so happy to hear of such good deeds.i have to also add that i was just chat friends with my now fiancee for 2 years and she never asked or implied for me to send her money until i offered her and her family that i would pay for a rental house for them.your so right bob when you say people from all countrys ask for money or steal it.i know that i wouldent trust most people i know around my money let alone strangers.
you and your dentist friend are truely blessed.
salamat bob
i like to see both sides of the coin instead of just one side….
Hi David J – Yes, I find Filipinos very generous. I can't count how many times a very poor person has gone out of their way to offer me some food or drinks if I visited their house, to the point that I am almost embarrassed to accept it, knowing how poor they are. Sure, I've been double charged, or overcharged on some occasions, but not usually. For instance, something like a tricycle, what are we talking, P10 or less? Well, I wouldn't let that spoil my day, but some people will.
Hi Henry – That experience where you offered to reimberse the man for his expenses in bringing you home is so similar to many experiences I have had too. It is hard to believe that somebody who has so little would refuse a small and legitimate amount, but so many do. It is humbling.
Hi chasdv – I know what you mean about "getting real." I mean, if you get overcharged on some bread and lose out on P10 or P20, it really should not ruin your day. And, after all, like you say, some people worldwide are out to rip others off. It certainly is not unique to the Philippines.
Hi Ron W – I'm glad that you enjoyed hearing about my experiences the other day at the dentist. Lourdes is a special lady who always goes out of her way to be helpful, and I treasure her as a good friend. Not only did she do the work for free, but there were some things that she had to spend her own money for (having the crown made, etc.) and didn't even ask me to reimburse her for that. It really is awesome.
Hi Bob
Being a working class British Guy I also hear these types of murmurings about why filipinas want to be with " shall we say westerners"( even though it is stereotypical ). they never ever say "wow! cool its good to see two people together," It for me shows just how narrow minded and jealous some people truly are. I can explode this "only after your money or wanting a green card" image I have no money I am unemployed and I will be going to live in the philipines! So I wonder would those people say that I was only with my girlfriend for the money! or green card ?My response to any one who would ever say such things is quite simple I find that my interests and views on life are more in line with philipines life, that being simple, happy and pleasent. I dont doubt that there are some who are only in the relationship for money but thats not just a filipina thing
would we say the same about americans and brits who marry pop stars? it is also mystifying how many guys just up sticks and leave home to live in the phils knowing once the money is gone their woman is gonna say bye! My advice to these people who think like this, again is simple look a little more closely at your own life, something isnt quite right within it if you can look at someone elses life and know just exactly why a filipina is with a westerner. Another point they should also remember is that if it was purely a money thing, they wouldve become very rich from americans in the vietnam war, the brits should look at a few facts about gurhkas did they fight so passionately just for the money ? on the latter i can say my uncle was so disgusted in the fact ex gurhkas were left begging on the streets of nepal he battled the british goverment to give them pensions and as some may know they have only just been granted citizenship in the uk. It just shows how stupid the comment really is "there only after money".
Bob,
As you know, I have made many Filipino friends. When I first moved here I felt the same way. Yes, there will always be Filipinos thinking Foreigners are rich and will add to the price. But when you talk to them, they understand your reasons for being here.
They will offer you part of their snack or meal and are genuinely nice.
But also we can understand why, you see Foreigners in the malls spending, in the better restaurants and many like to pull out a large wad of bills when they shop.
Hi Bob–in my time in Digos City i did not find the people there to be trying to rip me off–street vendors –the market–the stores –etc.–every one seemed to want to find me the best fruit–usually the largest also-hahahaah– or to guide me to the best deal for the money–a few times a trike driver ask too much or a person on the street ask for something –but for 95 percent of the time i feel i was treated as well as any pinoy or better in most cases–I love the Phills and the people there–I can not wait to get back–bubba
Yeah i guess i came across that way, I meant it,s part of the landscape in asia anyway and it doesn,t upset me at all. Perhaps it,s more prevalent in the more cutthroat world of Manila. I have never had a bad experience on the subject and when you use a few local words the situation usually changes, it comes down to attitude, remain friendly and they be friendly in return, and as a bonus for them they get my business again, even after they tried it on.
Hi Dave – You know, I think in the case of a lot of men, they are actually jealous that you had the guts to go abroad and get a good wife. So, from their jealousy, they make up negative things to put a bad side on it.
Hi Bruce – I remember how you told me before when you were working how some of the people would sometimes share their snack with you, or offer to, if you didn't bring a snack that day. It really shows the generosity of the Filipino.
Hi james – Haven't heard from you for a while, as I recall. Or maybe I didn't connect the name james with bubba which you used often before! Nice to hear from you, though.
Your experience as you describe it mirrors mine too. It's a big part of the reason why I love it here so much!
Hi Daryl – I think that in many ways, you find what you expect (not really YOU, anybody is what I mean). I mean, if a guy comes here expecting to get ripped off, he will get ripped off. If you come with a happy attitude and a friendliness, that is what you will get in return too! 🙂
Kuya Bob,
Some filipinos do that because of the color of the skin. I've experienced that in Angeles, Pampanga. Oh my gulay they charged too much because there are lots of foreigner out there.
Hi Bob
I think much of the ideas Americans have about Filipinos come from the soldiers and sailors that used to be in Olongapo. Many people don't realize that Olongapo and Subic back then were not really what the Philippines were like. As far as getting ripped off or charged extra I haven;t had a problem even though I hang out in the area of Manila. If I don't like the price I just move on to someone who will deal for my price.
When it comes to trading with filipinos…I like to think in reverse sometimes…for example when I was in Cebu I haggled down a to a price that was really a good deal (I already knew the prices in the market)..but I still went back to a higher price because of both the effort of the seller in arranging my purchase and because I judged in my own head what was to be a 'fair price' given my circumstances compaired to theirs. You know for example 50 php is going to be 3 hours wages to a local in the market perhaps more…to a foreigner its around $1 US. So I think that if you are to judge that you are being 'ripped off' in certain circumstances..take a step in the sellers shoes on in a while and imagine what a little extra means to you….So in essence its a two way argument….perhaps they are judging that you may have money…but perhaps you are judging them that your bargain price is going to be acceptable for them….
Hi Philmor – Yeah, it happens, and it's unfortunate. But, to me, it happens a lot less than people think it does.
Hi Dan – I think there is a lot of truth to that. The old military bases got a lot of this kind of thing, if what you hear is true. But, Olongapo and Angeles are not the entire Philippines. And, I even doubt it is that prevalent there today. Thanks for commenting.
Hi Alex – Nice to hear from you here! Looks like I got you to come back to the site, and I'm glad for that, my new friend!
You know, I had to laugh a bit at what you said, because I do the same thing. I love to haggle in the market and talk the price down. It's fun and entertaining. Then, sometimes I just give them the original amount anyway, and insist that it is a tip for them. I love going to the Public Market and interacting with the people there.
mindanao bob, yes there are good people in the world lots will amaze you at what they will do and not ask for anything in return even when in need of food,money,ect,ect, they are blessed, and will be blessed a thousand times over we all need to be that way but lots are not i love to help people as lots of us are even for a minute of are time. to see a smile to see kids happy help the old for one day we will be old and may need help. ( god said feed my people you feed me clothed them you clothed me )
Hi tonka – I believe that 100%. A guy who offers you help and asks for nothing even when he has no food is blessed, and will be showered with blessings. It makes you feel guilty for having too much!
Kamusta ka Bob,
Yeah, this idea of filipino's just wanting your money is ridiculous. I wouldn't move there if I thought that was true. But that is everywhere in this world of ours. I am not too worried about this at all, besides when I first get there and get settled into living there, Rose will be by my side always, or a member of her family.
As for when we go and find a place to rent, be it a house or apartment, I will let her look, and choose, and when she see's the one she wants, and finds out the price, then I will go look at it. Then I will be curious if rent goes up when they see me, instead of a filipino husband to Rose.
Heck, when I get to the Philippines, I want there money too… 🙂
Ingatz,
Danny 🙂
Bob,
Yes, as you and I always comment about is the hospitality of many Filipinos.
In the States and here, if there is a visitor in my home, Elena or I will always offer a beverage or snack to the visitor and if it is meal time always offer them to share our meal.
I know from my visits to your home, you are the same.
Bob,
I had another thought. something I have noticed here, many Filipinos have either missing teeth or some type of false teeth.
From what I see is many people do not go for yearly or bi-yearly dental checkups and just wait for teeth to get bad and then have them pulled.
For the poorer, I have heard about the "Family Circus" a christian charity that gives free dental care to children. I do not know much else or even their location, but from what I heard it is a good place for the poor to take care of their childrens teeth. Too bad their is not more and assessable dental opertunities and more education.
As I am proof, the old joke holds true. "Be good to your teeth or thay will be false to you."
Hi Bob,
I agree about the wonderful hospitality of the filipino people in general when you are invited to their homes but I would make a distinction when it comes to taxi drivers and inlaws 😆
In the case of taxi drivers I have to stand out of sight while my wife negotiates a fare otherwise generally we get ripped off and driven all over town.
Some Filipinos are acting that way to legitimize the claim that the dollar is indeed almighty or that the expression "exchange rate" is not at all hauthiness.In my own opinion, I find it degrading for Filipinos fawning at white people especially Filipinas who are with them unless there is genuine love involve.But when I remember hearing some Americans boasting that they could buy some women in Thailand or in the Philippines for a few dollars( or a few quid according to the british)then maybe these filipinas are just helping to spread the wealth.
Hi Bob,
I also here lots of stuff on this same point but I see more things happening to the opposit more often! Yes, the market people add Skin Tax to their already very cheap produce but so what! The more educated people do not! Here in Gen San, my good friend Doc Diagan treats more people for free or for very small money as he is a really caring Doctor! There are many more people in the States and Europe who will gladly take all your money, many more than here!
Hi Bob,
These are a few things I experienced earlier this year in the Philippines. Two times when I bought some stuff in a store I forgot my change on the counter, and each times someone of the staff called me, Sir, your change, instead of keeping the money for themselves.
Another time I gave some money to our caretaker for a jeepney ride. The next day she returned it to me, saying, as I rode with you yesterday and you paid for the two of us, I didn't need the pesos who had given to me.
Hi Danny – You know, in our case, when it comes to looking at properties or any other such things, we rarely have Feyma go first and such. I go along, and really the prices we get are very reasonable. From time to time somebody might try to take advantage, but not often.
Hi Bruce – Yep, we always offer food or a drink to our visitors here. It's the way things are done in the Philippines! 😀
Hi Bruce – 😆 I haven't heard about that "Family circus" thing, but it sounds good if they are helping kids!
Hi Michael – I really have never had much trouble with taxi drivers at all, and my inlaws have gone out of their way to treat me well, so I have no problem with either.
Hi Joe – There are more than 39,000 comments from thousands of readers appearing on this site. Can you point me to even ONE where people say they could buy a woman in the Philippines or in Thailand? I don't think you will be able to.
BTW, who are you to judge whether love is involved or not? I've been married to Feyma for nearly 2 decades. Is it degrading to Filipinos that she loves me? Frankly, I find your comment degrading.
Hi Chris Dearne – Nice to see you here, my friend. I hope you are doing well. Yeah, I really agree, there are plenty of doctors and others in countries in the west who are very happy to take your money! It's certainly not any worse, and probably much better in the Philippines.
Hi Ronny – I have also had instances where people have run after me to give me money that I left behind. Sometimes, if I am in a restaurant and leave even a small tip for the waiter, they will run after me saying that I left money on the table. When I tell them that it is a tip, they are just shocked.
Glad you wrote this, Bob. I see from the comments many still aren't convinced, but that's ok, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Me? I've never lived in a place where there were _less_ people 'out to get me' than here in the Philippines.
Many wil remember a story I told several years ago where a waitress in a coffee shop got 2,000 pesos by mistake .. I intended to leave two P100 notes for a P175 tab and a tip, but unconsciously left two P1000 notes by mistake, and was already walking out the door when the girl came running after me, with P 1825 in her hand. I was literally 'gone', I would have never even realized my mistake had she just rung up my bill and went on to her next customer. That P1800 probably represented a week's wages to her.
Just the other day I bought a p39 item in an auto pats store. Usually I hoard my small bills very lealously, being out of change is such a constant probem, but I double checked the figure on the cash register, saw how many P20's and P50's I had in my wallet, and dropped what I thought were two 20 peso notes on the counter. The salesgirl looked at me a little puzzeled, handed me back a P20 note and then proceeded to make change from the P50 I had handed her by mistake (I hate how close thos bills look to each other). What was her motivation?
I could have sworn I had given her two 20's and if she had handed me back a peso in change I never would have given it a second thought …her salary is probably a little more thna the waitress;s, but certainly not much … why wouldn't she just keep a 'free' 30 psos from a careless kano who obviously had more money in his wallet than he knew what to do with?
One of my sisters-in-laws was staying over recently and she went to the little sati-sari store around the corner from us where I always pass the time of day with the ownwer and her husband, a couple in their 30's working hard to raise two sweet little girls and fighting the yearly battle to raise enough money to keep the girls in school, instead of letting them roam the streets.
I have to say we don't reall buy much there, an occasional onion or clove of garlic, or something else small that Mita forgot to get at the supermarket. They make very little off us, but they apparently still consier us sukis.
Mysis-in-law plunked dowm 32 Pesos for a pack of ciggies (at least 3 pesos less than from a mall store) and started to walk away when the store lady said, "Oh wait, here's the 2 pesos discount I always give David, it's been a year since you were here last and I forgot who you were, sorry'.
Instead of a rip off for the kano, a discount, and the discount extends to the visiting in-laws, how about that?
That's the sort of people I live with …maybe Mita and I should re-consider moving to another town in the Philippines, because perhaps mine is 'special'? I dunno.
I will say that the story of your young relation and the way Doctora Lourdes took care of him touched my heart. Please thank her for me the next time you see her, and next time I am in Davao I better make time to go to the dentist 😉
Bob i think is one of those myths that has got way out of hand that Filipinos only want money. It may occur but its not something that just happens in the Philippines, go to any tourist resort in the world and see how prices are inflated for outsiders. i could speak for hours about how well i have been treated by my partner and her family and Filipinos i have met. but the dentist you speak about is a wonderful example of how well we can be treated there. I had a similar experience with a dentist in Butuan city last year i had some serious dental work done there at a cost which was far less than i would expect to pay here in new Zealand. In fact i spent less on airfares accommodation and dental fees than i would have paid in my home country just for the dental and i had a great holiday as well
Hi Dave – I am glad that you found the article useful and that it drove home a point that you and I have discussed before. I really hesitated on whether I should write this article or not, but I decided that I should. Lourdes is really a very helpful lady, and she has done a lot of good deeds. Good people make our lives more enjoyable, and they bring out the good in us too. I am happy that I know Lourdes.
Hi Les van Dijk – Thanks for leaving your comment. I have an Aussie friend who came here a couple of years ago and had some serious dental work done (by Dr. Lourdes, BTW) here in Davao. In his case, he paid his trip from the savings on the dental work.
I never meant it’s you Bob. I used the word “some” to avoid stereotyping because we Filipinos often get it. It is degrading in the sense that many of this Filipinas are only after the money, not all of them, and one of the exception is if the couple truly feels for each other. Remember Nicole whose motive for relationship with a GI was a green card? Also, many of these relationship,not all, involves a young Filipina and an old white guy. Now I am a Filipino Bob, when we see a sight like this we could always hear comments from among us that the girl is only after the money. I don’t think a girl in her early twenties will fall for man already retired. This is degrading because love is not the motive but money or greencard or something else similar.
I said hear not read. Overheard from a conversations with my white co-employees (not verbatim):
Employee 1 I heard that your daughter is on holiday.
Employee 2 Yeah, she’s in Thailand. She’s extending it because it’s very cheap. She can get a smashing room for 10 quid.
Employee 1 You could also buy women over there or the Philippines for a few quid.
Now I don’t totally blame them if they have an opinion like that because many of my Filipina countrymen give also this impression. Can you blame me for disagreeing with my own kind?
Hi Joe – Let me say… I have heard Filipino men call my wife a Prostitute because she was with me. That IS demeaning. Imagine, her own Kababayan demeaning her like that because of the color of her husband's skin. Is that a way to treat a fellow countryman?
I, like you, don't like it when I see an 80 year old guy with a 20 year old wife or girlfriend. To me, it is not natural. But, it is not for me to judge either the man or the lady. If they find happiness together (for whatever reason) that is their choice. It would not be what I would want, but it is their choice.
In my somewhat limited experience of shopping in the Philippines, I have come accross a few people who regard me a being a rich American therefore 'willing' to pay a tad extra. However my reply is usually yeah Americans are rich, but I'm from England and I'm not as rich as them. Believe it or not, this usually works.
Sorry to you Kano's, but thankfully many Filipino cannot tell an English accent from an American one.
However, most Filipinos I have met are not like that, and don't appear to be making extra money because I'm a foreigner.
Hi Bob, Enjoyed the article and it made me feel good to see that so many other people voicing out about the warmth and kindnesses of many Filipinos. Also, I'd like to add that in my experience,many filipinos won't forget a favor given them, and will always try to reciprocate in any way that they can.
Hi Barry – Yeah, most Filipinos are not out for money. Some are, but like I've said, some people in every country are out for money! No different, no worse here.
Hey, quit pushing off the greedy ones toward us Americans! 😯
Hi Queenie – I have also personally enjoyed this discussion – most of it anyway! 😉 I agree that a small act of kindness to a Filipino is repaid many times over, and still never forgotten.
This is similar to your previous article about mail order brides. The 'public' perception is that Filipinas just want to marry a westerner to improve their lifestyle. I guess this is true in a few cases, but the very majority of Filipinas I know have married for love and family security, not financial security. Obviously if they come to UK / USA their materlistic lifestyle improves, but I really believe this is not the reason many leave the Philippines.
Within the Philippines, I'm sure some people 'try it on' with non-Pinoys.
Go to London and you will see higher prices for tourists at the tourist attractions. whats the difference?
Hi Bacolod Barry – I believe that most women everywhere in the world look for financial security when they marry. Over history, men and women have had different roles. The man is historically the provider. The woman bears the children and looks after them. Over the past few generations things have been changing, and there is nothing wrong with that. But, I also feel that there is nothing wrong with a woman seeking a good provider as a mate.
As one of thousands of American men who have married Filipinas, I think my own experiences are typical. When we are in the Philippines, 99% of the people are so nice, and generous to a fault. I love going there, and experiencing life in the rice fields, and everywhere else.
My wife, and all her family, have told me repeatedly, and often keep me hidden during any transaction, that if I am seen they will never get a good price for anything. This is from Filipino's mouths, not mine. When buying hogs, I was to stay home, otherwise the price would be too high. I insisted on going, to a point of it becomeing an argument, and you know what? We got as good a deal as anyone else. Particularly since I negotiated the deal.
There are several assumptions that I overcame at that point, all, in this case, held by Filipinos. The first was that because i was white, I would get overcharged. Second, because I was white, I wouldn't know the right price. Third, since I was white, I wouldn't drive a proper bargain. Lastly, because I was white, I wouldn't handle the pigs.
None of these things are true, and I proved it to them, but there are impressions and stereotypes on both sides of the coin here.
In the US, my entire family was cold to my wife because they thought she was just getting a green card and money. That was just as wrong as the Filipinos vision of me. They know that now, but it was hurtful for too long.
Of course, on the other hand, her uncle, a consumate womanizer and gambler, calls and asks for money all the time, and my wifes former friend dumped her husband the day after she got her full citizenship.
People tend to focus on the negative I think, and overlook the positive. I thinks it's good you brought this up.
Hi Bob – The only Filipina, who I can think of, that is our after my money is baketko (asawako) [my wife]! Of course, we strictly follow the Far East culture of home economics – the husband gives his pay to his wife, the wife handles all the household expenses, and (if there's any leftover) the wife provides the husband with an allowance. I must admit that baketko is extremely good with the first two items, but a little weak in the third. 😉
As for the "puti tax," I've found that vendors at the chenda (palengke) [marketplace] do add a few extra pesos to their asking price for those "afflicted with white skin," but mostly (if not only) because those "puti," if they are going to haggle the price, start with a very low-ball offer. My experiences result in a final sales price on par with those of those "not so afflicted"! 😆
Hi Bob
yeah agree to a point, but I personally know some Filipinas who married their man who was not rich, did not have any financial security, and was actually heavly into dept. These 2 girls are both fairly attractive and are sometimes chatted-up by guys who are obviously more richer than their husbands. They are totally devoted regardless of social status saying it's better to be in a poor happy marriage than a rich un-happy marriage. Maybe they're unusual, but I doubt it.
For me, yeah sure my wife has improved her social well-being, and regards me a being the breadwinner, in the same way as her role is the housekeeper and mother. When we got married there were some things we had to comprised on, but on the whole both of us feel we have gained so much more than we have lost.
I would like to think my wife loves me as a person, not just as her personal bank 🙂
Hi Jake – I agree fully that people tend to focus on the negative. People have fear of being scammed in some way, and they focus in on it, and rarely even notice when people are giving them good treatment, because they are so focused on looking for any possible negative. My own experience is just like yours, I can negotiate prices as good as anybody else can. Well… except maybe for Feyma, she really drives a hard bargain! I have seen her negotiate a price of P1,500 down to P300 and do it with a smile on her face! Tough woman! 😆
Hi Paul – One thing I find is that by knowing the language, I rarely get anybody adding on even a peso to the price. They treat me as they would any local. I am a local after all, having lived here nearly a decade! 🙂
Hi Barry – Let me just be clear on one point… I never said that when a woman seeks financial security that there is then no love involved. I believe firmly that there is love involved in 99.9% of such marriages, even if financial concerns are also considered. And, also, I don't think that a woman who looks out for her security thinks of her husband as her personal bank.
I think we are actually pretty much in agreement with each other's thinking.
Interesting topic choice Bob. What you described is whats known as a "suki" relationship. It's a special bond between a customer and a preferred vendor. My memory eludes me but I thought you wrote about this subject a while back.
You're completely right. If "Kanos" want to eliminate the white man tax, they would be wise to develop a suki bond with their vendor of choice. This will insure the vendor is always looking out for your best interests.
Hello Manong Bob, Kumusta. I'm in the process of changing my Gravatar pics.
Like Feyma, I too had been on the receiving end of some nasty comments from Filipino men when I took my (then) husband to PI. We had our 1 year old little boy then. We were at the Luneta Park in Manila, it was morning around 8-9 am, waiting for our flight to Cebu. Out of the blue, this 2 Filipino men made some nasty insinuations about how I must not have "made money last night" that's why I was at the Park that early, trying to pick up customers. When I looked behind, there was no one else there, so obviously, they were talking about me (either that or I'm paranoid). Not wanting trouble at that time of the day, I just ignored them (these days, I would probably return the "compliment").
Over the years, I found out from other friends that they too, had been the victims of similar nasty comments whenever they had gone home. We have come to the conclusions that it is envy, jealousy from these guys, to see that a lovely Filipina is on the arms of a Kano, rather than one of them. So to jealous Pinoys out there – eat your hearts out!
Joe, I agree with what you said. Only Filipinos can understand the real issue. There are sentiments, culture, traditions, ways of life that can never be understood neither explained to foreigners no matter how long one has lived in their country.
Bob, you really shouldn't take it very personally. You put your article out there to be feasted upon. And when someone voices their opinion against yours you start to be combative. The poor guy didn't know you or your wife. I know you want people to read your article, inviting them on FB, but they will be turned off when they read how you respond to the comments. Consider the sensitivity of the Filipinos. I like the cooler Bob before.
Hi David – The heart of the story is not about a suki relationship, but in the end that is exactly what it is about. Nope, I never wrote about this before, though, because it just happened 2 days ago! 😆
Hi Christine – Hey, what happened to you lately? You've been pretty quiet!
I think it is really demeaning for Filipinos to say these things about their fellow countrymen. Hurtful. And, absolutely untrue. Frankly, it makes me feel sick.
Janet – So, if somebody basically calls my wife a prostitute I need to just sit back smile and say "have a nice day, my friend." No, I am sorry, that is not going to happen.
Yes, I put my article out there for people to read and discuss. It is a discussion. We all get to have our own opinion, and we can express our opinion. That includes me. I can argue my opinion just like Joe can.
Consider the sensitivity of the Filipinos? I think I did that. There was no sensitivity shown toward women who married foreigners.
I am cool, not upset. But, I will not remain silent while somebody insults Filipinas for their choice of who they should marry.
Joe, Don't worry. There are westerners who do the same (to use your term) "fawning" at me and some of my Filipina friends here in the US. I don't want to think that at the back of their minds, they're thinking maybe they can 'buy' me. Specially once when it was a thirteen year old that 'dropped his jaw'. 😉
So maybe it's admiration, too, you know. Well Americans, let's not deny it, have the skin that 'papaya soaps' are suposed to help us achieve; have the nose that most of our TV celebs flaunt; and usually the height that most Mr Philippines have to have to make it to the pre-screening. So it shouldn't be surprising that Filipinas find Americans quite a catch, physically speaking.
As per the age, you know, honestly, there had been times when I saw a couple and instantly made my mind up that "it was a marriage of convenience" and that there was "no love involved." But then again, I remind myself, what do I know? Some people might have thought the same same way about me and Jeff, and they'd be totally wrong if they knew me at all. So, I've come to learn to be positive about it and just let them be. I am sure anywhere in the world, there are relationships that don't quite match the "Brangelina" couple. But you know, many of these Filipina-Westerner unions will most probably last longer than many 'normal' couples. And as long as we have "two less lonely people", there shouldn't be any problem, right?
Hi Bob,
I have several filipino friends here in California, and they all tell me the same thing. When they go home, the first thing they do when they get there is change into some ragged clothes so they dont look like they have money. If they show up looking clean with nice shoes and docker slacks the price goes up. 🙂
Hi Hudson – Ha ha… 😆 I can't say I disagree on that! I, myself, would never go to the market in fancy clothes.
Oh, just pretty busy, Manong Bob. I will be in PI in couple of weeks, trying to make sure not one Auntie or cousin got forgotten with presents. As it happened, I re-packed my bags this morning, and sure enough, did not have present for 1 Auntie. Did Feyma ever worried about these when you were in the US?
I do agree with your points here. It's not about the money always. But I found this to be true in the provinces and islands though. Last year, the local barber in my town gave my son a haircut, and he did not want us to pay for it. He said it was a treat seeing I have not been home for a long time. I got my sister in law to give the money to his wife (3 times the amount of his asking price). He was most grateful, and we just told him part of it is "pinaskuhan".
Makes someone feel good, don't you agree?
Oh, forgot to add, Filipinos who demean Filipinas who marry Kanos are just that – Outright jealous. Especially if they see the girl is pretty, and they are probably thinking "why not me?". I know this is true, Manong Bob, because one Filipino guy actually told me. Otherwise, there would have been no reason for sour grapes, is there?
Hi Christine – Oh, of course, you have to worry about the pasalubong to make sure nobody is forgotten. If you forget somebody, that is an insult!
I like your story about the barber, that's a classic. It is a good feeling for you, and for the barber too, I'm sure!
Hi Christine – I fully agree. Jealousy. Frankly, why is it anybody's business, other than the lady and the man involved. Making judgments is rude and crude, especially when no information is available to base that judgment on.
Hello Bob,
Interesting subject. I can't say whether I have paid a skin tax but you have to admit, we westerners, sometimes help with the misconception. When we go to places like the Philippines, Singapore or Thailand, we act as if we are Bill Gates! We arrogantly throw money around as if we will get better treatment if we act as such. Every race have someone "out of money". Money, is a part of survival. As far as my honey is concerned. She never asked me for money when we were first corresponding but if I only had one peso left, she can surely have it!
Just curious John, do you pay a white man’s tax in the Philippines?
Hi John – I like your last thought there, it's a good one. I try not to act like I'm another Bill Gates and such. I hope I succeed.
Hi Bob,
When I was in Manila, I hired a driver for the day to take me to all the sights I wanted to see. He made the comment that I was a rich American. I explained to him that I was a working man just like him and I had to save for months to pay for my trip. He made the comment that even the poor in America were better off than the average Filipino. Well he got me on that one. If I was going to be poor…let it be in the US. The poor people here have TV's, sometimes more that one. Maybe they even have a computer or a 1989 Toyota. We Americans are fortunate.
Hi Hudson – I have said the same things myself. The poor (many of them) in the USA have so much compared to even the average man on the streets of the Philippines. It really is mind boggling.
My wife and I Took a taxi and the driver was talking to me on our way to the mall, when we arrive there, I gave him a tip, I was just happy that I found someone to talk to about american cars. When he relize I gave him more than the meter said, he tried to give me the money back!!I told him it was not that much for the good converation we had, so he did take it.It was only two extra dollars, but he was kind to try to give it back, just the same..I love the country, one day we will be there for good…………….JC
Hi J.C. – I have also had similar such incidents with taxi drivers when I started to give them a tip, and they were puzzled, even shocked by it. Others gladly accept it. Some probably expect it. I, though, have had mostly very good experiences with taxi drivers, and other Filipinos too.
Hi! Philmor
I think i know you, did ARNEL PINEDA WEBSITE ring a bell to you, i'm an active member there but unluckily my computer shot down so i just lurked most of the time for now if i have time to go to internet cafe.
Bob,it's just an impression about filipinas but i guess only minority did that to escape poverty and it happened all over the world, ive'd been working here in S'pore and HK for so many yrs and believed me there's more worse chinese women do that than pinay, here's money are their life and business and so little do it for love, filipinas by nature and majority of us marry for love and they will not trade their love for money specially if they have a source of income.
My advice for all foreigner is, if they visit Philippines and look for a wife,is to really get to know the woman first before they commit themselves to them, some foreigners are blinded by a pretty pinay w/o knowing them very well thus disaster followed…. it's just a matter of finding the right woman and you guys will be lucky if you found her, jmho…..
Hi wildcat – thanks for sharing your views and advice.
Yeah Bob it's pure jealousy that brings other filipinos when they talked about pinays married to a foreigner, they are mostly the one who spread the bad gossip, some filipinos always have this kind of crab mentality or they 're lack of knowledge of a cetain things…
Hi wildcat75 – Ah… the old crab mentality….
Hi Bob! Not to argue w/ you coz I agree w/ what you say here. I'm just curious w/ your example ( I know it's just an example ). Your example of being overcharged for bread. How does that work? A kano walks into a bakery and buys pan de sal or any kind of bread & gets ripped off?
Hi roy – Substitute whatever goods you want… I just pulled "bread" out of thin air. I really don't have any such experience, was just replying to what chas said.
Yes, Bruce. I've seen foreigners dangle their money to cash-strapped pinoys. There has to be some dynamics at play here. Foreigners know the pinoy's weakness & I'm sure they have exploited this. Pinoys, on ther hand, would rather beat the white guy to the draw.
Would you rather be mistaken for a rich foreigner than for a poor one? That's a question addressed to those who might care to answer.
I really had to give this one some thought. With the internet beggars asking people to just send them money, and then being nearly surrounded by kids with their hands out when you leave retail establishment or restaurant it could imply or create a negative opinion. I have encountered internet beggars from many parts of the world, not just Philippines. I believe internet begging and scamming have become somewhat universal. I discussed things like this with friends I visited with in The Philippines and my opinion is that it is too bad that the people doing ths may not understand how it can make the part of the world they live in so negative to the rest of the world.
In some ways I do feel kind of offended the way some Filipinos maythink " ALL " Americans are " wealthy " and maybe that is their version of what some from other parts of the world think " All " Filipinos want is your money, a similar statement only in reverse.
I avoided buying things in places that did not have posted prices. If I want to buy something, especially in a place that is new to me and a situation I want to enjoy, I am not going to derive any enjoyment or pleasure in having to haggle or argue a price on something. On many things I did purchase, I knew the cost of the equivalent item if purchased in the USA, both the lower price if purchased from a national discount chain who buys in bulk and also the MSRP which you might expect to pay at a small independent retailer who deals in small quantities. Although websites for retailers in The Philippines are not as common as those in the USA the ones I did find did give me a general idea on some of the retail selling prices of things that interested me.
At any time I went to buy anything I always had Filipino friends with me. I went into a major appliance store to look at a few things. Prices were prominently posted, When I expressed interest in certain things I was politely informed " those are the posted prices but we will take ( a certain amount ) off if you pay Cash ! Their posted prices were within range for the items that interested me , so pay I did and I enjoyed the experience totally. To me, no sign of any " Kano Tax " here. This store will get my repeat business and I dont have to be there to conduct business with that store. And yes, a few months later they Did get my repeat business !
I wanted to look at some PC related items. There were several independent computer stores but there was one I had remembered from a previous visit that was " crammed " from floor to ceiling with all kinds of known product. Although I could not remember the exact address of the store I knew I would recognize it as soon as I entered. I entered the store with some of my Filipino friends. I try not to talk when entering stores as it is my way of disguising the fact that I am " from out of town " LOL. Finally however I asked a sales person if they had a certain item. Within seconds someone seated at a desk at the end of the counter turns around and exclaims " HEY ! You must be Bob New York " and the person introduced himself to me. I was quite flattered to say the least. This store had the items I wanted and the prices approached or were MSRP but you can not expect " Walmart " type prices from a small independent. The prices were within range and I knew I could do business with this retailer there, or from my home half way around the world. No " Kano Tax " at this place. They did get repeat business from me a few days later and more than likely in the future !
My filipino friends informed me of prices of commonly purchased items in a typical sari sari store. On occasion I would go to a sari sari store on my own and there was no deviation in the prices previously given to me by my frineds. No " Kano Tax " there .
On my very first visit, my luggage had become lost by the airline. It was not the loss of clothes and personal items that annoyed me but the loss of pasalubongs I had brought for friends was starting to bother me. I could not direct dial the airline office in Manila from my hotel room. When I informed the hotel as to why I wanted to call Manila and I could not get an answer when I called, the hotel said if I cared to give them the information , they would try their best to keep calling the airline office about my lost luggase so I would not have to sit in the hotel room all day if I wanted to do other things. I also made some calls to my friends cell phones from my hotel room which also had to be handled by the front desk at the hotel. To make a long story short, yes my luggage was delivered in tact with nothing missing, by LBC 3 days later, the Hotel even let me call LBC from the front desk 4 times. Upon checkout at the hotel there was no charge for phone calls on the reciept. I knew what the room rate was and the total bill was no deviation from that rate. When I mentioned about paying for the phone calls their reply was " No Problem " .
No " Kano Tax " at that hotel and yes, a few months later they did get my repeat business and they will in the future.
One thing I do not care so much for is the " No Change " taxis. Next time when I try to get a cab where there are a bunch of drivers and cabs together I am going to ask before entering the taxi " Got Change ? " and if I get the typical " No Sir ", I might just keep on walking and see what kind of reaction I get. I have thought about the fact that maybe this " No Change " routine may also have something to do with the driver not wanting to display cash to someone they don't know either .
I did have a one night stay over in Manila which in my own mind I compare to New York City ( I am not a " city " person ). I have not fully researched it yet but I feel I may have been charged too much for a taxi and I did book one of the pricier hotels and was told they only had a double room available, no single so I would have to pay the added cost. This was a situation of additional cost over what could have been a less secure accomodation or form of transportation. I paid but felt more secure so if, and I say only " IF " I was " Kano taxed " in this situation I was not bothered by it.
Hard copy travel guides have chapters about rip-offs, cons, etc. that travelers may encounter when in the specific foriegn country the book is for and the Philippines is no different in this respect. There are similar chapters in travel books about many other countries and cities too, including New York City.
Street merchants, open markets etc. I have not encountered yet. I avoided them to avoid the possiblilty of having to haggle or being " Kano Taxed " although this is an experience I will explore at a future time, and I will relate my own experience here, after the fact.
Some independent retailers may realize even though a foriegner may enter their store that they might be able to make a " few extra peso " from what they may feel is a " Dumb or wealthy foriegner " The more business savvy merchant may rather give you the same deal as they would a local person going for the possibility of future repeat business. They get that " Repeat Business " from me and I wonder how many others as well.
Hi Bob, and in the Phil, catching a good husband is a competitive sport. There's not many eligible bachelors around. The ones who are stable are taken, the rest are unemployed or quite young for 30 something single women. Most of my friends who married foreigners are considered spinsters by Phil standards.
Bob – I don't remember reading someone's comment here calling your wife a prostitute. You said there are 39,000 comments here, show me where someone called your wife a prostitute. I really hate using this as an example.
But if if makes you feel any better, I too have been on the receiving end of being looked at as prostitute. I used to get upset about it but not anymore. I try not to wage war against the whole world when someone calls a filipina a prostitute just because they marry a white person. I realized there's nothing in the world i can do to change peoples opinion about me. I KNOW WHO I AM, AND I AM SECURE OF IT!
As for the lady dentist, i'm happy for her act of generosity towards you and I am truly proud of her. she's my kababayan you know ( I was planning on seeing her next year, thanks to your recommendation).
But i can't help but wonder, what if "Bob" was packaged in a
different box? Let's just say that he's brown, poor, destitute-looking, wrinkly, nasty smelling breath, a few yellow teeth, and speaks a native language who is need of severe dental work. Will she still be as accomodating, as friendly, as generous, knowing fully well that he's not going to be able to return the favor she's doing for him? Let's just say, I hope am wrong and you are right. But i seriously doubt it. What do you think Bob?
Yes, the Pasalubong. Woe betide if one gets forgotten. There will be "tampo" (upset) big time. I think I would rather get whipped than be on the receiving end of "tampo" that can go on for days. 🙂
Oh you know, the barber's fee was less than $.50. So even if I gave his wife 3 times what he normally charged, it was still less than the costs of a cup of coffee here. Besides, we've known his family for decades. This is what I like about small towns, you know who's who, and you know that your kids can play on the seaside, with other kids safely. Now, if only some of the people can contain jealousy, and keep their negative opinions to themselves, the world in PI will be perfect…. 🙂
Interesting article Bob and certainly one that most have an opinion about . Having lived here got 7 years now have i been overcharged at times . Sure , but if it's a matter of a few pesos i generally just pay it but if i am out buying furniture or something requiring a larger outlay then i do have my wife along . 🙂
I can see how the foreigner might get the impression there is a " white man " price and truth is i have often been warned of that by Filipinos and i can't really say how extensive that might be in other Asian cultures since my experiences are limited .
As for the Filipina and the older " kano " partner thing i do believe there are some who are " gold diggers " but those exist everywhere and in every culture . Is it more pervasive in this culture and/or is it as much a cultural issue or a " poverty issue " brings different opinions .
Hi Bob NY – You have a lot of nice examples there, and mostly with the "no Kano tax" on them. I'm glad that you had that kind of experience on your visit!
Hi roy – 😀 Yes, a woman over 30 here is often considered a spinster, but not so abroad.
Hi janet – Joe commented in several ways basically calling Filipinas prostitutes if they they become engaged with western men. Talking about how these women are only helping the exchange rate and such. Well, frankly it is offensive.
Now, as for the dentist. What would she have done if Bob looked different, had a different color skin, was stinky, or whatever? I can't say, there is simply no way to know. But what I do know is that Lourdes has always been friendly and helpful to me. She is a married woman, and her husband is also a genuinely friendly guy. I don't think Lourdes is out to help me or impress me because she thinks I have money, or in some way I have good looks. I believe that she is genuine, and I appreciate that very much. I can't say what "would be" if "this or that" were different. I can only judge the way things are.
Hi Christine – Ah, haircut prices have gone up since your experience, though. 🙁 I pay P40 for a haircut, about US .80 or so. I see haircuts a little less still, though.
I am a Filipino from Manila and it is true that some would charge you more because you are a tourist. Yes, and it happens to us Filipinos from Manila when we travel to the provinces. They could tell that we are visitors. It happens in all countries.
But hey, think of it this way.. everytime I travel to the USA, I pay 5 dollars for a lousy bottle of beer in a bar.. in Hooters, around 7 dollars.. and I paid 11 dollars for a stupid pint of draft Bud in Times Square in New York. In a restaurant in Manila, a bottle cost 80 cents.
Hi JoeyB – 😆 When you go to Hooters and pay $7, it's not the beer that you are paying for, my friend! 😯
hi bob,
most kano when they buy computer related or anything, the first thing they would ask is "how much", to me that is a sign of you can be double charge, the right question should be "Do you have a price list?" because most computer store has a flyers or some sort of price advertisement.
another way of handling it is, when you enter a store and you feel that the price is not right, just tell them that you already priced the same product from another store and their price is lower than theirs. in other words just give them the illusion that you are aware of the real price.
lastly, act as if you are a filipino and ready to bargain for a cheaper price, a "take it or leave it" attitude helps a lot when dealing with store.
This is good advice. Always ask for a pricelist.
That was only last year, though Manong Bob? I think you are paying more because you go to the city? Still, even if I'd paid the guy AU$5, it is still heaps cheaper than what we normally pay here. My son usually go to a hairdresser here, and she charges AU$17 for the privilige!
Hi dans – I think that is a good strategy. I am guilty of it… "how much is that" and it really does open the door, as you say.
Hi Christine – Maybe that barbero was out in the countryside, I'm not sure. Here in the City, though, I do pay a bit more! 😆 Maybe I just to to too fancy a place! 😯
I had acquired price lists from some of the computer stores on a previous visit to review at a later time, these were helpful on the following visit, which I also used to calculate price ranges of things that interested me.
Most foriegn stores and reatilers will not conduct business with individuals over the phone or the internet, unless they have a website for such purposes. Many smaller independent retailers do not have that facility. I wanted to establish a few contacts that I would have the possibility of making a few purchases when I am not there as I have also done in the UK . Going into a place and haggling prices or trying to chisel a few peso off the price could leave an impression of being a " cheap kano tourist " which is something I wanted to avoid. Establishing price ranges of specific items before even going into any of these stores, also knowing what I would pay for the same item in my own country was enough of an indicator to me if I was being treated fairly.
While visiting my husband in Korea during his assignment there, I met a Filipina who is active duty US Air Force. She told me her husband is 30 yrs her senior (the husband being a white American). I was shocked of course and she was amused at my reaction. She said the first thing people ask is, "is he rich?" I answered, if he was, you wouldn't be in the military. She explained that her husband was always encouraging her to pursue her own interests. She said she had every intention of joining a convent, but the Mother Superior had convinced her to be sure first before making that commitment. It was during that time she met her future husband. She said the guys in her hometown were all lazy with no ambition to better their lives other than "tambay lang sa kanto" (hang out at the corner). I'm married a Filipino, but I get why a lot of Filipinas fall for foreigners. My late grandmother was one!
'all these lively exchanges….can't discount any of your experiences, pro & con. Such is my country. But like anything else in our lives– jobs, personal relationship, community–we need make corresponding adjustments in our attitudes/thinking to make things even productive for us in the end. I can only hope, as in Bob's case & many of you that through it all, the upsides trump the downsides, that it's all worth it for you in the end in the scale of things. As country singer Dolly Parton said:… you want the rainbow–you gotta put up with the rain!
Hey, Bob– is your "Contact Us" good? I e-mailed Feyma twice (about Samal), & Martin B. (he'd respond quickly in the thread), but no responses from them so far. Thanks!
‘all these lively exchanges….can’t discount any of your experiences, pro & con. Such is my country. But like anything else in our lives– jobs, personal relationship, community–we need make corresponding adjustments in our attitudes/thinking to make things even productive for us in the end. I can only hope, as in Bob’s case & many of you that through it all, the upsides trump the downsides, that it’s all worth it for you in the end in the scale of things. As country singer Dolly Parton said:… you want the rainbow–you gotta put up with the rain!
Hey, Bob– is your “Contact Us” good? I e-mailed Feyma twice (about Samal), & Martin B. (he’d respond quickly in the thread), but no responses from them so far. Thanks!
Hi Sesaria – Contact form works fine. I just told Feyma to check her e-mail, she will get back to you. She said the e-mail just came today, and with the kids starting new school year tomorrow… well, she has been a little busy today (it's Sunday too…).
Maybe I just e-mailed it yesterday, or day before; seemed like 5 days ago. Each time i visit your website (a couple of times a day) it's like a day checked out, so maybe that explains why. Sorry if I sounded impatient! (the exclamation meant emphasis, not impatience).
No worries….
Hi Bob
I am truley blessed to have a great philippina wife, I have had my share of women american and Asain women,but none of the ladies are half the women my wife is. I wish I would have found her 20 years ago, and her family has excepted me who I am, They do have Philippina
women here in Kuwait, but it seems like after being played a couple of times, there skin got tougher and they will play you first,but that is a small percentage, I hope to stay with my wife till death due us part
Hi James – Like you, I am a lucky man. Thankfully for me, I found Feyma at a relatively young age (27), and she is my one and only wife. Good luck to you.
"English accent" you say? haha English is English; it is everyone else who has an accent! Think about it!
You are taking this personally. If I hit some nerves unintentionally then it only reinforces my opinion. I am not insinuating something about all Filipinas as prostitutes nor can it be gleaned from my comments. When I refer to exchange rate this is in reference to some comments I heard about the value of the dollar and looking down on pesos almost condescendingly. Now when some Americans present themselves to a trisikad driver vendor or merchant as a tempting offer, ultimately, somehow, somebody will bite. Obviously, you see the point from only your own perspective. Am I not a Filipino? Is my mother not a Filipino? How about my sisters , aunts, neice, cousins and friends? You have to dig deeper to understand our psyche. Your hurt about my comments although I am not referring to anybody. I understand that. But do you see this also in the perspective of the majority of Filipinos? Are you hurt also when white people look down on my wife, my sister, my mother, etc. and stereotype them as housemaids, immigrants or women who are only after something based only on their experience from the few.
Somebody said I’m jealous. Au contraire, why should I be jealous? In what sense? My wife is a Filipina (RGN supervisor). Do they mean not having a Caucasian for a wife? I find our Filipinas to be caring to a fault, especially those in the province. They will stick with you for better or for worse and will not divorce you. I will not deprive myself of these privileges.
I don’t have a crab mentality (perhaps, we Filipinos could purge ourselves also of “colonial mentality”). I am happy for my kababayans to succeed. I’m tired of being looked down by other races. Only Janet seems to be fighting for Filipino pride here. Egalite’
hi bob,
just to support how foreigner looked down at filipino in a very condenscending way, i will quote mike from the other topic he posted.
"all i can say is god bless america and europeans,canadians and australians because if it wasnt for us marrying there daughters and sending and spending our money in the philippines it would be even worse off!"?
let alone, mike actually looked down on his own wife, kids and family,
Hi dans – Because one foreigner says something demeaning, doesn't paint every foreigner. I have heard plenty of Filipinos say bad things about Americans, but I don't believe that all Filipinos are like that. In fact… although some may say that they don't hear anybody "fighting for Filipino pride…" well, I am the one who wrote the article that tells how good Filipinos are! Right?
hi bob,
It is my mistake not to say "some", I apologize for being sloppy, anyways, my point is, it is not only the filipino who would think that filipinas who are married to a foreigner is a prostitute, there are many foreigner as well who thinks the same when they see a young filipina married to an older white men. they probably think that the young pinay is only aftering for the older white men's money, I've read many times in many forums that foreigner would say they can easily buy any filipina for a fairly cheap price in the philippines. I can provide you with many forum source and i am sure you are also aware of those forum site, many foreigners visits your website because your site is different from the "other" sites that promotes prostitution, your site provides usefull and meaningfull informations and thay is why i visit your site.
Hi dans – anybody who says those things is either stupid or ignorant. Maybe both. Anyway, I really am not certain how we got off on this topic, because it really has nothing to do with what this article is all about anyway. The original commenter said that he doesn't like it when he sees a Filipina with a White man "unless there is love involved." Well, how does he know if there is love involved? Does he to to the couple and ask them? I don't think he does. Does he just assume one way or another? That is both unfair and a dangerous way to decide. Frankly, what it comes down to for me is that it is none of his business. There are only two people who have any business on this, and that is the man and the woman. Why should it matter to anybody else. As long as the man and woman are happy, nobody else should care.
hi bob – I think the title "Filipino only want your money" can be easily equated with "pinay married to a white men" because the title itself is somewhat vague, there are many young filipinas married to an older white men and the first thing that would come to the readers mind is a pinay who are married to an older white men.
I think if the title is different you could get a different response. how about "local filipinos only want your money"?
Hi dans – The title I chose is an effective title, because it makes people wonder what this is all about – "does Bob suddenly think that Filipinos are out for money?" That is how you write a title that entices people to read your article. For anybody who actually read the article, they will then realize what it is all about. Sharing your opinion based only on the title could lead to embarrassment, because you might not really understand what the article was even about! 😀
and that is just exactly what happened when someone made a comment about pinay married to a white men. 🙂
Yes,JoeyB, you were paying those prices for lousy beer at hooters and other bars. But can you say that you were charged those prices because they knew you were from Manila? Those prices are the same no matter who is buying at those establishments. There is no skin tax here. If you are visiting Washington DC, the vendors around the White house, charge "tourist" more for those same T-shirts you can buy at the local mall. But if I want to buy one of those T-shirts from those same vendors, I get charged the same and I live here! hahahaha. Just lightening the mood here.
Hi John – Truth is that it is very rare that I run into any kind of skin tax here either. Has it ever happened to me? Sure? A few times in 9+ years of living here. That's not a bad record.
Very interesting article. I especially feel a bond with the way you described the reactions from your soroundings regarding Feyma. When I first met my current partner – a Pinoy guy who's 11 years younger then me, and my then best friend saw the pictures he emediately said, "Forget it, he just wants to have your money" and he kept repeating it throughout the following 8 months untill Hernie acctually moved up here and we got married. Even after the marriage the same statement apeared again and again – and in the end it cost the friendship, but honestly, chooseing between and friend and someone I love, then I prefer love! But like you can see – I can so very much relate to the topic.
However I can also recognise some of the issues with over charging, or "forgeting to return the change" , but even though I do feel that prices should be the same for everyone, in most cases I dont complain because for me it's a drop in the ocean to pay one extra dollar but for them it can be a fortune.
I do also see a trend that when we go out with Filippinos they expect us to pay, and sometimes it annoys me a bit, just as it annoys me before our trips when everyone calls us saying tandaan na magdala ng pasalubong, because I feel – I love to give, and nothing would be more natural for me then to bring presents….but dont ask for them!
But then again we also contribute to this culture, because we flash our white money and show them how rich we are! So in some extent maybe it's acctually our won fault.
I do however allways fight till the death with the taxi drivers in Manila because they are really a bunch of scoundrals…but you know what? In most cases we're acctually very very pleasently treated by the general Filippinos and I have more positive then negative experiences in the country.
Hi Michael – I have to agree that as a foreigner, if I go out with Filipinos, they seem to always expect I am going to pay. Well, not always, but often.
well i guess that is true Bob…When I got home jess an I decited to put in a flower bed around the house and we hired a carpenter and labor to do the work it took them 2 days of digging and building a hollow block wall and i was charged 565 pesos for the carpenter and labor together so ..No padded bill or any thing extera was added ..just a good job ..same carpenter that work on building the house too .so yes they do want my money need to feed the families and pay bills like everyone else ….Phil n Jess
Hi Phil – Sounds like you got a good deal on that one! Welcome back to the Philippines!
thanks Bob …good to be home
Hi Phil – Are you in the RP for good now?
Hi Bob,
I vivited the Philippines a few years ago and I did encounter a few merchants who seemed to add a little to the bill because I was an American but the majority of the people I encountered were very fair with their dealings with me. If you want to see people taking advantage of you come to the United States and go to a resort or amusemant park and see what the prices are there. Just the admission ticket would feed some of the Philippine people for a month.
I think your column is great and thanks for letting me express myself here.
Mike
Hi Mike – And, thank you for sharing your opinions! I appreciate everybody's participation. Ha ha… yes, those amusement parks in the USA are certainly very high priced, I can't argue there.
To Bob. It doesn't need an accident to become blind. Filipinos here in United States are greedy, racists, money hungry, and dishonest. They abuse the system by opening Home Health agencies with USA loans,deny services to elderly and disable, to pocket the money, and become rich quickly. They do not hire people of other races, and ripoff Medicare as much as they can. And yes, they robe from the most vulnerable people the elderly and disable. I hope that Mr. Obama never again open doors to uncompationed, unskilled, unethical, uneducated Filipino nurses. We have a diverse group of people in this side of the ocean in need of work.
Hello Gloria – Frankly, I could hardly stop laughing when I read your comment. There are bad people from every country, you can count on that. To blanket all Filipinos with the hatred that you are displaying is not only untrue, it makes you look bad. Filipinos without compassion? Now, that shows me instantly that you don't know a thing about Filipinos.
Bob; I totally agree.
there are golddiggers in every race, country, religion; whatever catagory.
we've been happily married for 5 years now.
she's from Metro Manila, college educated, naturalized US citizen and fiercely career oriented.
we both love the Phils and went there (my 1st time) June 2007.
going back next year and can't wait.
she was is and will always be proud of the Philippines.
and we cringe when we see "putachings" tarnishing the good name of honest, hardworking pinoys and pinays abroad….and when Kanos sobra judge an entire race against the few bad apples.
Hi brianandmara – Thanks for commenting. Yeah, every race and every nation and religion have good and bad, none of us are perfect, and some are far from it! 😆 I hope you enjoy your next trip to the Philippines.
Hey Bob, what a story and I can relate with that. When you go home to the Philippines (even if you are a Piany since birth), people expect that you are bringing a lot of cash…This is not only for white people that they will charge you higher price. Early this year, I went back home and wanted to buy fish. I asked the lady how mcuh per kilo and she said 150/kilo. I moved to another stall and asked how much per kilo for another kind of fish. i did want the other kind, so I went back and then the lady changed her price to 170/kilo when she found out that I just arrived from the states and my husband is a kano. Aside from that, when I came home I prefer to wear shorts and t-shirts but people looked at me like i should be wearing gowns because I came from the states. One lady asked me where have I been because she had not seen me for years. I said "in the US". you can see her eyes widening of disbelief because I looked like somebody who does not belong in the US…ha..ha..ha.. no make-up and in t-shirts.
Hi Terry – When we first came to live here Feyma experienced some of that too. But, not any longer. Even me, if I go to the market, I rarely get that kind of treatment from the vendors. They mostly all know me anyway. 😉
Dear Mr. Martin, Thank you for having a great web site that keeps me informed and fascinated with the Philippines. What you have done for your nephew is what all of us need to do. And that is to care for others without thought to what we may benefit. I praise you for your generosity and compassion for others. May God bless you and grant you many more years for you are an angel on earth. I hope to shake your hand in the near future and thank you personally. Robert jackson, mKansas City,MO.
Hello everybody.
I am Italian and happily married with my sweet Pinay wife; i enjoyed my (too short) stay in the Islands and i think that only some taxi drivers in Manila tried to overcharge me but my wife was always there to prevent them from doing it.
I wanted to share with you this news from a few days ago, that some restaurants in the centre of Roma are masters in superovercharging tourists, especially Japanese, and they often had very dirty kitchens.
The police closed 2 of them lately if i got it right. And we are talking about Roma and most people here think they are "better" than the Pinoy people… Oh well, rottenheads are everywhere, that's it.
Hi Bob I just have one thing to say to you "Blessed your heart".
Hi USA-jane – Thank you!
As a filipino i would say that not all filipino do that… there are few but not all….
Hi, I came across your blog and I can say that if you are dealing with local Filipino merchants (in the Philippines), they will definitely be after your money. Filipino professionals or Filipinos with family in the States are not like this. However, among the poor it is only natural that they will hike up the price for foreigners. It's like this in any third-world country. I'm Filipino-American, by the way.
xiexieniii – I have lived in the Philippines for going on 10 years. What you say does not match my experience.
Hi Bob,
Wow so many nice things were said in this column about Filipinos. Moral of the lesson….. DONT GIVE MONEY TO STRANGERS!
Thanks for the nice article Bob!.
I agree…
I'm filipino chinese. I went abroad to work. But never expected to fall in love with my friend, who is american. We've been good friends and respect each other. Until he told me that he really like me more than a friend. Do you know that he respect my belief about "Married first before Sex" virginity is important to him too.
He became my boyfriend but he never touch me. Until, he ask me for a marriage. Yes! he married me first before I gave up my virginity to him. I was 23 years old and he was 24 years old. We got married in South Korea for only 10 dollar. And I do not a have ring yet when we got married because we are waiting for affordable ring on that time.
We've been married in three years but until now, we are still in love. He doesn't have a lot of money. One time he can't find a job because of bad economy in US but I did all my best to support everything. We are helping each other. I told him, if he is living in the cave or in the jungle I will still love him and live with him until I die old. He is not rich…but he is rich in love and friends! When he found a job, I supported him. I never complain every decision he made…I don't nag.
We really enjoying our marriage and no matter what (better or worse) we are still together. We don't have a kid yet because we want to wait and save money. Actually if someone called him foreigner…it really hurt my feelings because he is my husband. We are currently living in Northern Virginia.
"We are currently living in Northern Virginia." – Cecile
Ha? Saan ka nakatira? Alexandria, Arlington, Falls Church, Ashburn, Vienna, Chantilly? Northern Virginia is our second home. In fact, I'll be going to the Manila Oriental on Leesburg Pike in Falls Church this coming weekend to have a taste of the Philippines on the sly, like lechon kawali atsaka adobong baboy, since pork is verboten at home. LOL
Well my thoughts on this matter are there are mostly good filipino women who only require that a man be responsible with money and take care of her basic needs. However, living in hk has opened my eyes to the dark side of the reality. Many filopino women are desperately poor and promised work in hk, later to find out they are forced into dept and have to pay it back by working in bars. Many work long hours as domestic helpers for an unfair wages. I hope conditions improve for them in their country soon.
I have no problem to marry a filipino and take care of her as long as she is faithful to me and really loves me. I dont think most filipino women expect as much money as american women which makes USA women the gold diggers.
Hi Jonathan – I would tend to agree with most of what you say too. One thing that I would just add is that in the Philippines, the woman generally controls the finances, so when it comes to being responsible with money, the woman tends to keep tight control, only dishing out a small amount at a time! 😀
Filipinos are lovers of money. They can't go a whole minute without thinking of money. A large percent of Filipinos can't be trusted and are dangerous. Most are liars. Filipinas under 30 are only after money. Filipinas over 30 are desperate for marriage. All Filipinas under 25 have dozens of email addresses and false names on those emails.
I have been married to a good Filipina for three years. She is not greedy or dishonest, but she is a big pain in the rear when it comes to money. She is a good girl, but difficult to be married to. She falls in the 5% of the population who are good honest people. The other 95% of the population in the Philippines are bad people who cannot be trusted. She agrees with me.
Sickeningly racist…
LOL! Damn straight.
Sorry but you cant shoot the man down because he does not agree with your perception of a Filipino, and also he is right in what he says, from personal experience.
OK, I understand.. I can’t shoot the man down.. but you can? Thanks for letting me know.
Hi John,
You sound really bitter for some reason.
I have the exact opposite experience.
My better half is very astute with money,she will not buy anything she feels is overpriced,she pulls me up often for spending or paying to much,and very rarely asks me for money as she supports her self.
Lastly she is 26 yrs old.
regards Chas.
Bob,
Hello. I am engaged to a filipino woman and I am coming there this August. My fiance and I are having a engagement party and all her family and friends are coming. Our engagement is at camp holiday. I am writing to you in hopes you can help me. I am having a very hard time trying to find a good music band for this event. Can you recommend anyone? I have been to the philippines once before but my stay was very short and im looking forward to this one. I will be in Davao City for 3 weeks and im very excited. Well, I hope you can help and any advice you are willing to give is appreciated..thanks
Shane
Don’t mine lending or giving money but the worst money taking offenders are the families of filipinas. Some ‘borrow’ lots of your money, then wont pay it back when asked even though they all work full-time and are not ‘poor’ in the filipino sense.’ Many walking about with smartphones and Ipads etc…
Not to mention many drive around in SUV.s who are earning far less than I.
Mindanao Bob,
I like your website because I really enjoy reading your success stories in the Philippines.
But again you are here just to make another politically correct statement.
The truth is, Filipinos ARE out to take money from the foreigners. Not every Filipino, but common enough for us to reasonably say this as a general perception.
I went to a Manila dentist clinic to have a pokey wire of my dental braces cut as it’s hitting my gum. Just one clip it’s done in no time. Do you know how much they charged me? 1,000 pesos! Must be one of the most expensive dental clips in the world. Do you honestly think they would charge same amount to a Filipino?
My mother-in-law needed a medical exam – a blood work, an x-ray and a urine test. The most simple stuff. Made an appointment with a somewhat famous clinic for around P1,000. Next time when they got there, apparently seeing a ‘rich’ foreigner was going to pick up the bill, they immediately shot up the price to P3,000+. Asking Why? Oh Sirrr, P1,000 was ‘promo’ and now ‘promo’ was over today. So yesterday when we called, you did not know the ‘promo’ was going to be over tomorrow? Some Filipinos, even so well educated, still don’t know how to lie.
So Mindanao Bob, I understand where you are coming from, and I think you are lucky to encounter so many real good and decent Filipinos like your wife.
But let’s face the realty.
Frankly, Ed, I read the first and second sentence of your comment, and didn’t waste my time with the rest. Because, I knew that your second sentence was a lie, why would I waste my time reading the rest? No, I was not here to make a politically correct statement. I told the truth that I have seen in my 11 years of living here.
I don’t put words in your mouth, or psychoanalyze you to figure out why you are saying what you say. Why would you not give the same benefit of the doubt to me?
I totally agree with Ed, as I have experienced an awful lot of Dishonesty in the 16 years I have been here.
That’s great to hear. Ed needs some support, because usually there is nobody around in agreement with him. 🙂
I have been here 16 years as well.. maybe we hang around with different types of people?
There are good and bad people everywhere. Sure in a country with a population of 95 million people and with 68 or some close number to that are living in poverty You will have more than one opportunity to find yourself being charged more because of the prejudice that you are rich and can afford more or don’t need the money they will rip you off for. Its also jealousy, disgust, hatred, sarcasm, envy, displaced anger, disrespect, or simply being opportunistic. A person is not care, will not be fair, just because they are poor. It is an individual thing and its understandable that most will think its normal, everyone does it, to cheat someone if they is a chance to do it and get away with it. There are also many people who want to get back at you for their lot in life. In other words its your fault they are so poor and misreable, your fault they have nothing because of the thought, the thinking that poor are poor because of some one who cheated others to the point they got rich. To them there is not way to have money unless you used and abused others, you expoited someone in order to have money or you have so much its wrong if you do not simply give something to someone who has less. There is a hatred for those that have more. In their mind they are treating you the same and they think you treat others. They think you mistreated others in order to have what you have so its fair, right, good to cheat you too. Poor people also discriminate. If you are one of the haves then you discriminate against those that have not. The have nots have found their own way to get back at you. To them its justice to use you, cheat you, discriminate against you, not give you service with honor, dignity, respect.
My conclusion is that if you surround yourself with good people then you can expect to be treated with dignity, respect, that there be mutual admiration and care but you should not make the mistake of thinking that filipinos are not dangerous, ruthless or criminal people because they are that too. Of course different people in the Philippines are different. There is a high percentage of the population that I would consider dangerous and rude. Among those are the one that will do anything and everything to rip you off and worse. On the other hand there is also a large percentage of the people in the Philippines that have contributed to and are responsible for a different reputation which is one of hospitablity, kindness, helpfullness, and generous.
You would not go to a US city like Los Angeles and try to live among the ciminals that are members of large , wealthy and ruthless criminal gangs or ex convicts and conclude this is what Americans are like. You could not even if you wanted to in most cases be albe to associate with the wealthy class in Beverly Hills either unless you belong to that class of people. For the common everyday American you will find as respectful, accepting , generous, and hospitable. Most Americans are wonderful , good hearted, well meaning and respectful people but they unfortunate do not form the basis on which other nations formulate their opinion of America. Its like anything. People will not pay much attention to a kind deed but they will certainly never forget you doing a bad deed.
Hi Gilbert – You are right. There are good and bad people everywhere. In my opinion, there are a lot more good people in the Philippines than bad! 😉
ive lived in the philippines for many years. the only reason i live here is because for my small pension i can live a pretty good life financially. one thing i can tell you is that 9 of 10 people couldnt care less about you. i call it the “shut up and pay” mentality. as long as you pay, all is well. try not to pay for a new roof, a fridge, loan money to people, pay their beers etc. soon you will see the reality i see every day in the philippines. most filipinos have zero shame.
Your experience and mine are certainly way different. I wonder why.
Seems you disagree with every mans opinion who goes against that of your own, just because you have not come across it, does not make it untrue.
Nope. We all have different experiences. Just because somebody’s experience is different than mine does not mean I disagree with him. But, my experience is different from yours, and you seem tob e disagreeing with me! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, no?
Hi Bob and Kieth,
Here is my two cents.
Reality Check
1. Good women aren’t easy.
2. Easy women aren’t good.
3. Smoking-hot 20 year olds aren’t attracted to 50 to 60 year old men.
4. The big thing in your pants that the smoking-hot 20 year old is interested in is not behind your zipper; it is in your back pocket.
5. What seems to be too good to be real usually isn’t.
6. Upper Income doesn’t equal Upper “Class”.
7. Lower Income doesn’t mean Lower “Class”.
8. Your choices affect your outcome.
9. Bad choices that are not available most places are easily and readily available in the Philippines.
10. Different people have different experiences and not all good experiences are due to luck. A wise man listens to and learns from people who have had good experiences.
Peace
Jay
Jay – You get it. 🙂 Even if you don’t live in the Philippines, you understand much better than most people who do live here!
Hi
I wanted to move to the philippines and start a new life,this is my third visit now and Am leaving again tomorrow 1/12/2011 to visit the (BOI) Board of investors for a SIRV Visa.
Over and over again I am told watch out you will get ripped off but not once in Palawan or Bohol has anyone asked me for money or a tip.
One concern I do have that I must over come is the friendliness of the Girls who want to date or court you,some just 23 years old to my 43 years.
So I figure on this! We all want security and if the girl is 15 or so many years younger than you and loves you what difference does the age make.
Women are a gamble in any country you live.
Philippines don’t seem to care about age difference It’s just us westerns that have a problem with it or maybe it’s just me.
I have been to many country Dominican republic,Egypt,Mexico,Indian to name a few but the Filipinos are the most gentle sincere people I have ever met,always smiling hello sir how are you today and yet to meet a bad one.
Ok I have not been there as long as some but my impressions are wonderful kind people that will share their food,welcome you into their homes.
We can get ripped off in any country so my advice is follow your heart,think about it, don’t rush in when a beautiful Filipino girl wants to court you and go with the flow.
I still have roots in my home town but feel very depressed in my wesrtern world and yearn to live and die in the philippines.
Many things are different in the philippines to our western world,some that may shock you but this is Philippines life that you must except.
Bad thing to say…That would never happen in my country or if this was in the ??
A very good tip for you is don’t shout or raise your voice to a Filipino and try walking up the steps instead of rushing.
All the best to all.
Regards
John
I have been a visitor and investor in the philippines for the last 8 months.
In all honesty of all the country I have visited the Philippines by far is the most friendlessness country I have ever come across.
As for the Philippines only wanting you for your money I can say in most cases its true,but true for the right reasons of what any woman would want living in a western world.
I used to beat myself up regarding the ease of dating girls and listening to all who say she’s only after your money.
The best advice I can give is yes philippines woman do like western men thinking they have lots of money but they also want security and comfort in leading a better life along with giving the same Love undivided attention to there husbands “What’s wrong with that ”
I am 43 and dating my future wife of 22 years old and she clearly stated she wants a better life than she leads now,I was also shocked how much love she gave to me,hugs kisses and never wanted to be away from me.
There are good and bad in all country’s but you have to be a little smarter and understand if the woman loves you or your money….Any smart guy should be able to figure it out.
Sum up….On the whole my heart belongs in the Philippines,even the poor poeple who have no cash always have a smile hello sir and without asking for money and most will share there food with you even if they have so very little.
All the best
Ingat ka
Your experience is limited, John, but it sounds like you are on the right track. It will be interesting to see how your opinion develops as you become more of a long-timer in the Philippines.
Just as a test, I went for a teeth cleaning with Dr Lebosada. I’ve been living here a long time and I was considering making her my regular dentist, someone useful for when I really had a problem. However, I was surprised to be charged P1000 for the cleaning. The site (at the time of writing) advertises P400-600. A regular Filipino dentist would probably charge P100-200. By “a regular Filipino dentist” I mean one not situated directly opposite the Marco Polo.
I suppose I wouldn’t mind being charged the equivalent of P1000 in Europe. I’m sure there are a lot of foreigners on this site also who would not be bankrupted by being charged double the going rate. However, that’s not the point.
The point is that there exists an all-important doctor-patienttrust relationship, and both sides must work hard to maintain and strengthen this fragile link. If you’re a patient and you see any evidence at all that the doctor does not have your best interests at heart, you’re not going to put something as critical as your health in her hands in future.
It’s an interesting title, “Filipinos only want your money.” It’s really not money that concerns me. It’s health. I’m willing to pay a lot for good service, but only after I trust somebody.
Hello Reef – I was really surprised when I read your comment, because I know Lourdes (Dra. Lebosada) very well. Not only is she my dentist, but I consider her as a close friend. Because of my relationship with Lourdes, I felt that something was not right when I read your comment. Because of this, I called Lourdes on the phone and talked to her.
She remembered you immediately, and told me that you were at her clinic just yesterday.
You are right, on Lourdes’ website she says that a regular cleaning of teeth is P400 to P600. This is for a normal cleaning. However, Lourdes told me that when she examined your teeth, she asked you how long it had been since your last cleaning, because it was obvious to her that your teeth were badly in need of a very deep cleaning. She said that because of your lack of cleaning over recent years you had also developed gum problems, which needed to be addressed. Lourdes tells me that she discussed this with you before she did any work at all. In short, she preformed a “deep scaling” procedure on you, because that is what you needed, not just a regular cleaning.
I don’t know how anybody could be more honest than examining you, and telling you in advance that what you needed was more than cleaning. If you didn’t want to pay P1,000, you had the opportunity before any work was done to decline it. If Lourdes had done the regular cleaning, knowing that such a treatment was not adequate, that would have been dishonest, because she would not have been giving you the care that she knew you needed.
You say your concern is health. From my discussion with Lourdes, I believe that Lourdes had your health in mind when she treated you.
well now, who is not after someone’s money? everyone is. and the worst of the lot are those in the developed countries who prey on the developing nations. wealthy predators feeding off the poor. and continually at that
Generally speaking the Filipinos that try and do business with foreigners are ones regular Filipinos will not do business with, since they know they see scammers. Because they know foreigners do not know their reputation, they are keen to do business with them.
Filippinos are NOT out to take anyone’s money…..like every society there are some bad people but the overwhelming majority of pinoys would rather give to you than take off you!
With regards to the genuinely poor Filippino’s , all I can say is ….they can have what ever I can give because these people deserve help.
The Philippines has the most generous decent people I have ever had the pleasure to meet……If I could , I would house clothe and feed every last one of them.
Um… just curious if you read the article. It kind of makes the same point that you said. 😆
Thanks for your comment Kris.
good strong words. the filipinos are the best i know i married one
I fully agree, Robin!
I agree, Robin!
Bob thats a heartwarming story. I have been there done that and when the smile comes that can lite up the world it is good. that bein said there are some that will change prices. its not them ripping you off it is cultural and taught. and it does happen. my best storie of it is finding a auto on an internet site. it has a price on and says slightly negotiable. I contact the guy via text we talk back and forth over a few text and set up a meeting. when i get there he makes up a story that his friend posted the add and got the price wrong. he raised 20k peso’d and that is the fixed price and no longer negotiable hahah. well i guess it was a lie ….it was negotiable ! up to a higher price. needless to say I said well thanks but no thanks and while your at it sir if your gonna sell a vehicle and raise the price …don’t tell me you have been in manila for 4 months and the car has not sold and the battery is dead and can’t be test driven. hahah car sales 101 is a class I could teach 😉
Hi brian – Yes, there are some that will jack up the price. But, most foreigners think that every Filipino is like that, and my experience is that only a small minority are like that. Most Filipinos are generous to a fault, and will bend over backwards to do something that you want or need.
Anyone who speaks of “all Filipinos are this way” or “all Filipinos are that way” are off the mark. People can only speak truthfully and knowledgeably about Filipinos that they have come across in their own experiences. For you apparently, “all” or “most” Filipinos have been nice, but don’t think that just because you have been so fortunate that “most” other “foreigners” have had the same experiences.
I have been to the Philippines three times for extended business trips in three different regions and for the most part, my dealings with Filipinas especially have been disappointing. People not showing up for appointments and not contacting to say that they will not be there, not following instructions, expecting to get paid to do literally nothing and a widespread lack of reliability. There have even been many instances in which I was contacted by text by women (?) who got my number from the employment ad, to ask for “help” not for work. I am not saying all of this to “pick on Filipinos,” just mentioning what I have experienced. I realize that there are people like this everywhere, but we are talking about the Philippines right now and when the percentage is over the 50% range for missed appointments with no notice, I think it is a point that should be made.
I could say much more about my experiences in the Philippines, but I won’t right now. I was inspired to comment because some of the people here don’t want to acknowledge or just don’t see that certain Filipino cultural attitudes are what cause many of their own problems and could be avoided, but criticism, constructive or not, is apparently something “most Filipinos” can’t deal with, so…
As for the many foreigners who are “defending Filipinos” here, my overwhelming impression of the foreigners that I have met, who are living in Manila, Bacolod City and Davao is that in many cases, even though some are as young as in their 30s, they have “given up on life,” given up on achieving anything anymore and just prefer a life of drinking and relaxing and whatever…. Again, I am not saying “all.”
Seems like you didn’t really read the article.
Some will bend over backwards, but they are the minority, the feed back on this page alone has to be enough for you to believe some of it.
It’s a shame ppl don’t understand that when talking about nation (millions of people) you gotta to use % to evaluate (generalize)… otherwise it’s just propaganda.
Yes Filipino like all nation (i believe Pinoy are even more than many) are great ppl and will share and help their neighbor no matter what. The problem is that Filipino truly have no world perspective as all they know comes from western union and hollywood (majority) they truly believes that all whites are rich and its true WHEN LIVING ABROAD!!!
LET IT BE SAID, Filipino believes all white are rich base on ignorance and also think that cheating rich(like their own oppressor too) is “fair game”. It’s a shame but it is one of the most corrupted and poor country out there what you expect.
I am just so fed up with the foreigners defending the poors or anybody in that matter by saying:”I know one pinoy that is a good person so anybody that says Filipino are bad…are wrong”
THIS IS CALL PROPAGANDA pure and simple!!!
The reality is,
To the foreigners: YES many poor people(like anywhere) do bad things (like anywhere). In Philippines, the world education mainly comes from the American dream and American Tv so they tend to believe that all whites are American and that they all have money(which in comparison is true).
To the Pinoy: NO not all whites are American but often it is a good guess (at least you cover canada and the states and you are good with the culture trait) they usually have more money but they have a strong work ethic (they work better) but also be careful as when they don’t have money it can be very hurt-full to treat them like rich. Never cheat anyone no matter how much they have as the success of others is not a reason for your sins.
Does that cover it and educate both sides???
Uh…. OK. Have a nice day and thank you for your comment, tolit.
My experiences with Filipinos in the US have not been positive ones. I know of some who are here illegally and they take advantage of everything. I know of one who did marry an American but did divorce him after she received her green card. Of course, I can not speak about all Filipinos because that would be unfair but the ones who are born in the Philippines and come over to the US both legally and illegally have not given me a positive light on them. I do admit, they are very hard working people but there is more to life than working hard…being honest, treat others fairly, not using others,….
Hi bradley – Sorry to hear that your experience has been negative. I personally have had very positive experiences with Filipinos for the most part.
In other countries, it’s called “charging what the traffic can bear.”
When my parents sent me abroad to Upstate NY to study in a private college, only “poor foreign strudents” were charged annually a $2,000 additional fee above tuition, room and board, text books, etc. No one could explain to me or my parents what the charge was for. My parents paid, of course.
I’m now retired in the Philippines. But I was surprised the other day when my labandera charged me NOTHING for hand washing and ironing an outfit I needed the next day for a party. I was so deeply embarrassed, I did not know what to do. I did not wish to insult her for her generosity.
Yes, there will be always those who will charge people like me tourist prices because I speak with a sharp NY accent. And then again, there are those who should.
I think it’s best to learn to take people as they come and to say ‘thank you’ always.
I’m only going to comment about the women being money hungry, an cheating. Its no different than any where in the world, You pick the women only on looks an how good she is in bed (you got big problems)
I would tend to agree with you Kerry. Most of the big problems with being ripped off are brought on by the foreigner’s expectations to begin with.
over charging is common, even here i America. how do you think the hospitals pay for those uninsured? or those in Medicaid? they charge more for those who have insurance
I read your article twice just because I was astonished. You must be in the 5% of foriegners than have had a good experience. I mean really, from what I’ve seen, about 96% of Filipinos are out to cheat, steal, lie and beg in order to separate a foriegner or even a local for that matter from thier money. Bravo to you for encountering the 4% of Filipinos that, in your mind, are decent non money hungry people. Your story is one in a hundred. Really, out of a hundred stories I’ve heard or read, yours was the only “positive.”