We all came to the Philippines because the food is the best we’ve ever had, or was it because the Government bends over backwards to make us feel welcome? Or it could it be the weather, hot, wet and humid? Could it also have been just to soak up the scenery and the culture?
I’m going to be honest and tell you why I’m here, It’s my wife, whom I couldn’t imagine not being with. I’ve traveled the world and met some good ladies and some not so good, but nothing compares to the lady I found here. Truly, she’s the love of my life.
Is she the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met? In my mind’s eye, the answer will be a resounding, YES! But there’s a lot more to it than just that. Such as, our two wonderful daughters, and Lolo Paul’s special granddaughter, who is the light in my life!
If you’re looking for a subservient woman, someone you can bend to your will, you’d best head to the airport now, because she’s not here. But if you want a loving, strong and caring person, than this is the place to be. A partner is the best way I can sum it up.
My wife causes me to want to be a better man, and has never tried to force me to be, or to change who I am. I’ll make the changes, and I have, but it’s because I wanted to, but I never was told to. In a line from a Kris Krisofferson song that goes like this; “I’m too old to break, and I’m too young to tame.”
I could ramble on about American women, they are this or that, but the real truth is, I’m no grand prize myself. Meeting my wife was my second chance to get it right. As far as I’m concerned, I have. To date I’ve been wise enough to never repeat any of my many mistakes from my past.
There have been many discussions here on LIP about the differences in age, and for the record I’m 13 years older than my wife. But it’s only a number, I’ve met guys who are 40 years older than their wife, and they were doing just fine, loving and respecting each other and making a life together. Last month while applying for my passport I met a man who’s been married to the love of his life here in the Philippines for 55 years, and she’s two years older than him.
By the same token I’ve witnessed major (or Major Major) disasters here, but I’ve see the same thing going on in other places also; it only proves the Philippines has not been exempted from relationship problems. Remember it take two to Tango, or tangle.
As my father instilled in his five sons; a man is normally larger than a woman, and if it gets physical, normally the man will win. So my sons, now that you know that, there is really nothing to prove. If you feel the need to prove you’re a man, do it in the bedroom. For with love is the only time you should put your hands on your lady.
So let’s enjoy the food, in moderation, learn to live with the bureaucracy, partake of the scenery and enjoy the culture. The weather? Well, just deal with it, as it damn sure beats snow. I chose to live here, and now you know why. And you thought it was just the beer!
Your’s is the same reason I am here Paul. Meriam is the love of my life. Everything takes 2nd place. No snow is good too! I live a little bit better here. I love to people watch. Lots of folks to watch here in Mindanao. Less storms too. I found my place to live out the rest of my life. At last, at peace.
All the best,
Gary
Gary;
I firmly believe that you and I are not alone, in our reasons for living here. We’re the smart ones Who’ll admit it. And you’re sooo right about that snow!
The weather in VA isn’t worth speaking of. It’s rained for 6 days straight. It stinks.
Bones;
This time of year we get rain for six months in a row. With occasional sunshine. Hows the Army treating you, aren’t they pure sunshine? Stay safe, middle son!
Hi Paul,Enjoy all of your stories! Sounds like you got a “keeper”! All the Best to you & your family!
Joe;
Thank you, I joke a lot about living here, but my wife and girls are my real reason for it.
Hi paul i will agree with that you sure are a lucky man
chris
Chris;
If I were a third as lucky at the casino, I’d be rich too.
Hi Paul – You have said it all so there is nothing more I can add except to say, may you both have many more years left to enjoy each others company and love.
Kindest regards.
Jim.
Thank You Jim;
I will wish the same wish for you and yours!
That is so sweet! 🙂 I have to admit I love hearing that too from my husband. He loves it here, but honestly if you ever ask him why he certainly will tell you it’s not the Philippines in itself. After all, we live in Metro Manila where there is pollution, and not much to see except some areas of old Manila, no beach, still 2 to 3 hours away… but he will always tell you, it is because I am here…. 🙂
So even if he is 24 years my senior, and in some ways not even as accomplished. I would give the world for him and everything I am and have. 🙂
Claudette;
Proof of my point, I’m not the only blessed man here in the Philippines. I think a person could live on a small island off the coast of Alaska if it’s with the right partner. Albeit I would ask her to think about moving. (lol)
Hi Paul, You are a wise and fortunate man! I’m happy that you found a true love. My husband is my best friend and the love of my life too. May you and your family have many happy years to come!
Queeniebee;
Fortunate, I’ll agree. Wise, maybe just that one time. And I should have tried to make my story gender neutral. Mea Culpa.
Hi Paul,
Great story,may you enjoy many more happy years together.
We do have similarities,the Philippines was not my first choice when seeking out a retirement destination,then i got to know Sheryl,five years ago.
I to have a second chance to get it right,and this time i’m much wiser.
What i love about Sheryl the most is her personality and the fact we “click”.
regards,Chas.
Chasdy;
My plan was to finish sailing and head back to the Caribbean. The word not the city Shanghai comes to mind, and I buried my anchor here instead. Regrets, I have none!
Dear Paul What a wonderful report. Like all your writings no excess verbiage. Every word precise and well thought out. Must say you express yourself well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts. It has also made me want to move to the philippines yesterday. Are we there yet. Thank you for your help and the wisdom and humor you shared with us. You are blessed indeed and thankfully you are aware of your blessings and can share them with others. with great appreciation John Reiter
John;
The reason there is no excess verbiage is simple, I don’t know that many word. (lol) Forgive me but this is the first time I wrote anything that didn’t have any humor and It’s killing me! But thank you for the compliment, and thoughts. And you are right as I really do appreciate all that I’ve been blessed with. Today my Granddaughter is having a party for her 8 th birthday at her school, and my presents has been requested. I look forward to this afternoon, and spending the time with her.
Hi Paul, your words are so true, being I hold a blue passport I could have married several beauty qeens, but they would not be compatable for me, my wife is very cute with a heart of gold, we have had 3 great years together and I am sure we wll grow old together, moving to the philippines was my choice, for the laid back life style,but mostly for the afforable cost of living, there is good and bad in all women , if you date a girl simply becuase of her looks you might be dissapointed one day, the eyes are window to the soul.
James;
The heart of gold is the only real measure of a person, beauity fades, (I know this to be true as my pogi days are long gone.) Laid back lifestyle, low cost of living, or great beer, these reason pale when you have the love of a good woman. You’ve found yours, treasure her!
Paul both you and your wife are lucky-you are true partners. I feel that your story could be my story. My wife is wonderful and I could not be happier that she allows me to share her world. I have also read the story on Filipino food and decided to just hold my words. Its not exactly cuisine that inspires. I think I can summarize this quickly. A group of Marines and Sailors (for you Paul) are being told that they are going TAD to Subic for 30 days. We all jumped up, stated high fiving each other and said-yeah can’t wait to see the menu. I will leave it to your readers to determine which menu-those that know ,know and those that don’t-well thats another story for you to write someday. Ron
Ron;
The man who said, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” was never in the Philippines. I first came here in the late 60’s as an Ambassador of goodwill, and to aid in the local economy. Truly altruistic reasons. When I was visiting my friend here, and was at his house, I met his wife’s sister. That was it for me, I knew that my bachelor days were numbered. And I still think back and smile, as it was the best day I’d ever have. I was wrong, they just kept getting better. Ron, we are lucky guys!
Hi Paul,
Great article. I have been married a little over 3 months and I consider myself the luckiest man in the world. I have a companion and friend for life.
Jack;
Don’t consider yourself to be the luckiest guy, know for a fact that you are. Three months or thirty years, if it’s real, it’s real. Many more years of bliss to you!
Hi Paul,
Thank You for your open and caring account of your successful marriage to Mayang (Beautiful Picture – you are truly blessed!), and your new life in the Philippines.
(and your picture too, in that smart looking barong, you look as pogi as ever, ha ha)
I disagree that your article is without humor – you are both happy together, and as I see it humor helps one to be happy, so your shared humor, though not present in the words of your article is one of the underlying reasons for your mutual success.
I hope that my marriage to Daisy will one day become as rich as yours, when we are together forever also.
Jade
Jade;
Thanks for pointing out the humor aspect, I failed to see it at first. We do laugh a lot together, and she is quick to point out something that is funny. I’ll tell the world something that they’ll find hard to believe. Mayang and I have never had a argument (yet). For no other reason than I never found the need to. If I disagree, I’ll calmly explain my reasons, and then let her have her way. I’m by no means whipped, it’s just the reasons were never important enought to fight over. Plus 97% of her plans always worked out for the best. This I learned in the Navy, if the young sailor had a better way to accomplish the mission, I’d listen, let them give it a try, if for some reason it didn’t work, we’d just fix it as a team. Here’s knowing that you and Daisy, will have a wonderful trip down lifes highway together! All the best!!!
Paul,
I for one do not find it hard to believe that you and Mayang have never had an argument.
Daisy and I like yourself (not Mayang) are in our second marriages. In my first marriage I found a ‘Baywatch Babe’ and pursued her relentlessly,until she finally trapped me. Our minds were not in the same place. We disagreed on everything. I learned from the arguments that once you cross that line, you can never uncross it, the damage has been done. I will never forget this lesson.
Daisy and I are of the same mind, easygoing and humorous, always joking, cultural difference is just the icing on the cake, never an issue. (We pursued each other with equal fervor!) We also have never had an argument. We both have a temper. You should hear Daisy tell off the traffic alligators! For me, older and wiser. For our personal relationship we have the same attitude.
Of course we have our frustrations with the visa issue, but it just makes us stronger together. Serious cash problems for us now. My marine electrical contracting business is very slow, I’m a one man show, but not a one trick pony.
Jade
BTW Your line “I’m by no means whipped,” reminds me of something my first steady girlfriend once said to me, at age 17, but there was another word before whipped…
Jade;
Aw shucks there is a word that precedes whipped? Ya just live and learn. I think that there are many like us who don’t have to argue, but having had that ex-wife taught me a lot. Not that I’ve ever say anything bad about the first wife, as since I can say anything good, it just wouldn’t be fair and balanced. As I’ve said before, I wish her no harm, only distance. I’ve read that divorce rates are 50% in the US, has anyone figured out the divorce rate for second marriages? Fate has a way of changing things, and I hope all your changes will be for the better.
“My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.”
William Shakespeare
Mike;
Very good; we could learn a lot from ole Bill!
I think you summed it up nicer than I could.
Allan;
Oh I’m not so sure about that!
Paul, I kow it has been done before, but in your posting you went into the “age thing” at some length. How about a posting on “do’s and don’t’s” of finding and marrying the right woman for you in the Philippines. You have succeeded. As Roselyn posted a week ago or so, many are not successes. So, how about sharing your wisdom on the subject.
ProfDon;
As I pointed out, I give very little credence to the “Age Thing”, to me it’s only the concern of those involved, and really none of my concern, I’ve seen it work, and I’ve seen it fail. But from my view, I’ve seen it work most of the time.
Then to the subject of the do’s and dont’s, after being married to my first wife I’ll admit (and it was proven) that I’m in no way an expert on that subject. I’m in a successful marriage now, and refuse to jinx it, by over analyzing it. But sir, you’re a man of letters, dare I suggest that you give it a try? I’m gonna’ stick to joking around and spreading humor.
Great article Paul……I think you sum up many of the feelings others like myself feel.
Joy and I met online….and the feeling of it being “right”, just felt that way from the first time we chatted. We have been living together for 3 months here now, and we both could not be happier!! We are planning on getting married early next year, and hope my second chance is as succesful as yours.
As far as the age thing goes….I really think it all depends on the particular 2 people involved. In our case the age difference is not great…but it really comes down to compatability and interests.
The things you said about your wife I can see in Joy, and I think can be said about most filipinas…..they are truly one of a kind. I could’nt be happier, and I wish you and your family many more happy years together!!!!
Greg;
I fully agree with you on the age thing, your comment about compatibility and interest, is spot on! As I said to Jack above, when you know it’s right, It’s Right! We don’t get many do overs in this life, and this one is mine. I sincerely wish you the best in yours!
GOOD POSTING Paul
But it dont have a lot to do with how old the man is or the girl but it comes down to what in the heart that matters here mate no matter with she is filipina or from whever mate and if u ever ask me why i go over there to the phill i will tell u it is for the love off my wife who i love with all off my heart and a good home cooked dinner that i have not had now for over a year as i love all filipina food mate but that is justa little part off it……..
from peter martin
Peterjoy;
The love of a good woman, and you love the food. You have it all my friend!
all i need now mate is a little baby part filipina part australia and theni will have it all and all i need to make my life hqppy…….
from peter martin tassie
Peterjoy;
Best of luck on having a baby, nothing on earth could bring more joy into a persons life.
Hey paul.
Our first baby is due any day now
Hudson;
Your first? Congratulations, the best part of your life will be starting soon. BTW: Paul is a one syllable, great first name, and girls love the name Paula. just a thought. (lol)
Hahaha, we already have a name picked out…Luke Ignatius. Sorry to disappoint you Paul 🙂
Hudson;
I’m not disapointed at all, Luke Ignatius is a good strong sounding name. It will serve him well in life!
Ya peterjoy..you get you a little half & half there and you will be set…
Hi Paul:
Your punchline about SMB is priceless. You faked your readers out big time, considering that you probably mentioned SMB far more than you have mentioned the name, Mayang, in practically all your articles.
This message, however, is not all about punchlines. It’s this: You’ve just written a very fine tribute not only to your beloved wife, but to all Filipina womanhood!
John;
The tribute to the women of the Philippines is well earned by them, and my wonderful wife in particular. I like and respect every wife/girlfriend of all my friends here. I see good strong women, taking care of even the guys that don’t deserve them.
My sweetheart knows that I like a beer, and I’m smart enought now (not so much in the distant past) to never allow beer to come between me and my family. And today is my granddaughter’s birthday party at her school, so it’s a soda pop day for me. It’s good to keep your Yin & Yang in balance. Thank you for your astute observation sir!
Paul
Couldn’t have said it better. The filipina is really a special woman. Maybe we’ll run into each other since i will be living in the Balanga City area in the future. Take Care
Hi Randy;
I’ll look forward to that, Bataan is suffering from Kano underpopulation, but that can be fixed. You said; “The Filipina is really a special woman”, you’re so right, and I enjoy meeting enlightened people! Beer drinkers welcome too!
Paul
Sounds good Paul. Maybe we can down a few SMB. Please be safe. Keep up the good work
Randy;
I keep a couple of cases of San Mig, and SMB on Ice at all times. And I love to share.
The second time done right 🙂
Rich;
There ain’t gonna’ be a third time.
Paul
Nice post!!
Thank ‘s Neal;
It shows that like you, I don’t agree with that joke I sent you.
Great article Paul … you definitely found a “keeper”. Good looking family too. Take care. –Rich–
Rich;
I had to endure 2 hours at my granddaughters school for her birthday party, catered by Jollibee, the little girl running the show asked why the kids seemed bored? My wife explained that only 4 kids spoke Tagalog, as it is an international class taught in only English.
But it’s what you do for family, and I really did enjoy it with my family. A keeper for sure!
Nice article Paul, agreed.
Boss;
Thank you sir! Were you agreeing with “You thought it was the beer”? (lol) Sorry I had to do that!
Senior:
You summed up in an awsome way. Ali an I have been married 32 yrs come Feb an Ifeel the same way you do. We are trulely blessed I can wait to meet you guys in Oct 2011.
Oh yea Your father was a very wiseman.
Sorry if the typing is off got two grandaughters 3 yrs twins sitting on my lap and a r arm in a sling. But I love it.
Mike;
I’m looking forward to Oct. next year, typing with grandkids hanging off you is pure fun. Twins, you lucky guy. Heal up fast and take care shipmate!
Hey Paul,
I guess were both really lucky to have the best two girls in the Philippines…Could there be more?
Hudson;
Well, yes there could be more, like when they bring you that ice cold beer, while you’re sitting under that Mango tree! I’ll agree, we’re lucky guys!
Hudson;
You mean the best Three women in the Philippines! 🙂
About the beer that usually means they have a honey do for you or they want to go shopping!! 🙂
That how it happens around my house. And you know I can’t say no.
Catch 22
Mike,
CYA (protect your six) is the best way to go, incase your wife reads LiP.
Paul,
Great article. I think you have been given great advice from your Dad! His advice is the same I have heard from my Dad all along. If I were to lay a hand on my wife in other than loving affection I would be hunted down by my Dad!
I can see the pride you have in your family through your smile in the pictures you post! I now have 2 boys with a 3rd child on the way in April! So looking forward to another one to spoil!
Steve;
Dad’s are seldom wrong, unless their talking to a “I have every answer” teenager. But the god’s planned it so teenagers get to the twenties, and smarten up. I know I did. My brothers and I were taught by example by our father. Congratulations on the new baby, Any chance it’s a girl? Boys belong to mama, but daddy’s little girl, is pure joy.
Hi Paul,
Lovely post. I know about the age thing, lol. There are 30 years between Cheryl and myself. We met online in a chat room. We chatted daily for almost two years. When we finally discussed ages we were a little shocked to find out but that didn’t stopped us from maintaining our relationship as we had already fallen for each other. Some people are put off when they see us and more than one has thought she was my daughter. My ex and I were from two different worlds. She’s from mainland China. We met in a Chinese restaurant. We struggled for 10 years to make it work. It was doomed from the start we just didn’t know it. Cheryl and I learned about each other through our chats. The distance forced us to take the time to listen to each other and learn about ourselves. We’ve had a couple of ‘discussions’ but I think that’s normal. If you and the Missus never have my hats off to you. I envy the point in life you’re at now as I have about 8 years to go ’til retirement but I look forward to many hot, humid days (and nights, lol) there. You are truly blessed Paul and the best part is you know it!
Mark;
One advantage I had as a Merchant Seaman was there really was no set retirement date, as long as we were able we can sail, and we have a physical before each ship assignment to prove it.
I’d sail for a tour, come home for two months, and just kept going back to the ships. My wife asked me why, as our house was finished, and I really had no need to work any longer. So at 53 I just stayed home. Those 8 years for you will pass, don’t rush them as you’ll want them back later (lol). Thirty years difference? If that’s the only difference, you and your lady have, You’ll will do just fine. As you well know there are far greater differences that can pull relationships apart, than just age. Screw what other people think, as they will never put food on your table or pay your electric bill. So we don’t have to listen to them.
It sounds like you’ve got that do over, enjoy it sir, we only get one ride on this big round ball called Earth. Make the best of it!