I’ve been living in the Philippines for going on 10 years now. Pretty much anything you could imagine about living here, I’ve already seen it, experienced it, or at least heard about it. I know plenty of people who have lived here much longer than I have, but as a resident of the country for nearly a decade, I feel that I qualify as a long term resident.
I’ve been publishing this site for a bit over 3 years now, and have written about nearly all types of experiences that I have encountered here. I’ve written a lot of good things about the country, and I have written bad things too. I’ve written a lot of “how-to” stuff as well.
Over the past six months or a year, a few people (yes, only a few) have written comments here accusing me of “sugar-coating” life in the Philippines. Some have said, recently, that I do not allow people to post negative things about the Philippines here. Funny thing is, the person who said that is somebody who is very new to the site, as far as I know. The simple fact is that if you go back and look through the archives, you will find that I have written nearly an equal amount of positive and negative articles about the Philippines over the past 3 years. Also, I have allowed all kinds of comments to be posted here on LiP.
There is a discussion going on in the LiP Forum that kind of sparked my thinking about this, and connecting it to the “sugar coating” comments that have been showing up lately. The Forum topic that I am talking about is entitled, Is It Just Me. Somebody named “shiredevon” kicks off the discussion by saying:
Is it just me or does anyone else begin to despise living here, seems every day I get more pissed off with the place and the people.
When I read this, it all related back to an article I wrote last week where one person, Bill, said that the material I write is not realistic, and that I sugar coat what I write about the Philippines.
As I read what Bill was so adamant about, and then read what shiredevon says, I just have to wonder… are we living in the same place?
Honestly, when I write articles for this site, I write things as I see them, and as I live them. If what I write sounds good or enjoyable, it is because I consider my life here to be very good, and I enjoy living here a great deal.
You know what, though? The more I thought about this, I started thinking about the first few years that I lived here. You know what… while I didn’t hate it, a lot of things angered me here. I was angry a lot of the time. I didn’t understand how things worked. I didn’t understand the thinking of the people here. Basically, I didn’t understand much of anything about the Philippines. When I moved here, I thought I knew what the Philippines was all about.
When you read through that topic of discussion over in the LiP Forum, you will see that others who have lived here long term explain that this attitude of anger and hatred is a process that you must go through. But, when you get beyond the anger, and learn what it is all about living here, you can look past those things that anger you. You don’t have to look at the Philippines and see all the flaws anymore, you can look at it as a work in progress, and accept the parts that are yet to be completed!
To be honest, it probably took me almost 5 years before I could get to the point where I didn’t look for the potholes any longer, and started really enjoying my life here! I can only come to the conclusion that people like Bill and shiredevon have not lived here long enough to get past that point of anger yet. Well, I know who Bill is, and I know how long he has lived here, so I know for sure that it is the case for him. On shiredevon, I surmise by reading what he has written that he is a relatively short-term resident as well.
You know, there are a ton of Internet Sites that are pretty much nothing but people complaining about the Philippines, this and that are all bad here, they don’t do it properly in the Philippines, etc. Those sites are a dime a dozen. LiP is not about that. LiP looks for the positive side of living here. Sure, if there are things that we don’t like, we can talk about it, but it is not the focal point of what the site is all about.
I enjoy living my life looking for the positive in all aspects of my life. It makes for a more enjoyable life for me. For those who prefer to complain, there are a couple of choices they can consider:
- Stay here at LiP and try to get past the negativity and adapt a more positive attitude. Do it by reading, and talking with others to try to find the pluses here.
- If you want to complain, go do it somewhere else! I mean, complaining is OK, if it is constructive, looking to get past it and to a more positive place. But, if you have no intent of looking for the positive, there are lots of places on the net where you will surely be at home.
Do I sugar coat life here? I don’t think so. I have simply been here long enough that I have attained the sweet life, and I’m loving it. I’m glad that I got past those first 4 or 5 years when life here was not so enjoyable for me. You can do it too, and if you do, you’ll have a lot happier life!
Good article Bob. I tend to side with you…there are many bad things about living in the Phils. However, there are many bad things about living anywhere. I live in one of the best countries in the world (Scotland), and if you really want me to, I could give you a long list of bad things about living here. And I could give you a list of roughly similar size about the great things. And I could do so for almost every country I have ever lived in.
You see, it's more about the individual. Some see the glass as half full, some see it as half empty.
Personally, I'd be like you. I'd love living in the Philippines, and that would be because I was focussed on the good things. Sure, there is a lack of good quality wine that you don't have to pay a fortune for, and you can't get to see a decent opera production every month. But I could enjoy the wonderful warm weather and even enjoy the rain because it's warm rain rather than the freezing stuff I live with here. And I could eat the sweetest mangoes whenever I wanted. And enjoy the company of the warmest friendliest people I've ever come across, in general. I could eat the finest food for a fraction of the cost I have to pay here.
To hell with focusing on the bad things; life's too short!!
I agree with you totally Jim. Life and happiness is all about perspective. I like to see the good things in life and I try not to dwell on the bad things. I can see and feel so many bad things about living in America now that I could fill an entire page with the negative things I feel and see around me while living here. I am excited to come to the Philippines and experience changes rather they be good or bad. As long as I feel safe and not hungry, I will be content and that is all I am going to strive for in the beginning of my stay there. And just like I have survived in America all these years, I will survive in the RP for the rest of my days on this earth. And just as I have found the “key to happiness” here, I will too find it there. As that happiness does not dwell on an island, in a country, on a mountain, or on the most beautiful place on earth. It is only found in your heart and we can all have it no matter where we reside or exist. There are far too many people who have not found that “key to happiness” and sadly maybe never will. But none of us should let them and their feelings dwell within ourselves. Keep up the positive and happy thoughts Bob cause some of us really want to hear those words.
Hi Bob – The complainers here tend to be the same folks who can't stand to be #3 in line for service with a bank teller. This is especially true if, when #2 in line finally gets called to a cage, he or she has a mamouth transaction(s); or whenever there are more than a couple of customers in line and a teller has to take a CR break.
Some will always see the glass half empty rather than half full. Me? Whenever my glass gets to that point, I just order another.
Hi bob,
There are approximately 12 millions OFW around the world and a large percentage of it are very successful living their lives in their choosen country, it is not because they choose a rich country, there are many filipinos living in countries where living is much harder or the way things done are far behind the philippines. you can find filipino as far as africa or country you have not heard about, I think one of the reason we have a high sucess rate living in other countries is mainly because we CAN ADAPT to the host country, we know how to HANDLE things if the country has a different way of doing things, we know how to ACCEPT the reality of that country, If you think living in the philippines is bad, try the middle east and you will be glad that you choose to live in my country.
I think before anybody choose to live in another country, one must asks himself, Am i ready to live in a country other than my own? Can I adapt to my choosen country?, Am I willing to give up all the comfort of my own country? If things are not the way I expected, can I handle it and how? if your answer is "no" to any of the question, you better stay where you are and don't ever leave your own country, because if you do, you wil be wasting your life complaining about it, it will only bring a lot of grief to yourself, and that would be the most stupid thing to do.
A lot of people think that moving and living to another country is the best thing to do especially if girls and beers are cheap, there's more to it than cheap girls and beers.
AS i said before and i will say it again, People who choose to live in the philippines and keep complaining about it and still continue living in the country is a total moron, we should not listen to this kind of people at all especially if it is a complain.
Hi Bob,
Congratulations on living the sweet life! Unfortunately, some people will never experience that, no matter where they live. Life is what you make it, no matter where you are. Life is too short to harp on the negatives.
BTW, we missed you and Feyma at the party. Now I wonder if the invitation was dropped off at the right address. Hope you got over your cold. Sorry didn't get a chance to meet up with you and Feyma for coffee.
Back in NY and to work. It all went so fast, couldn't believe it even happened. We all had a great time, especially my Dad. Was worth the long trip, jet lag & having to stay up at night for conference calls. Can't complain!!! 🙂
Stay well and see you next time we're in Davao.
Hi Tina – Hmm… I sent you an e-mail last Friday about the invitation and how much I loved it! It was really, really nice, beautifully designed, etc. I guess you did not get my e-mail. Maybe it ended up in your Spam? Also, I explained that I was very sick, almost ended up in the hospital! I am still sick, by the way, but quite a bit better than I was over the weekend.
We really, really wanted to go to your Father's party, but I was just way too sick to make it.
hi bob,
I agree adapting yourself to a new country is not easy, the point I am making is, the ability or willingness of the person to adapt to a new country is very important in order to achieve a good life.
Hi dans – Ha ha… we had a bit of mis-communication there, my friend… I was agreeing with you! 😉
Hello, Bob!
My sense about negative people is that no matter where they are, they
will always find fault in everything. But, that is who they are and that is their truth. They have a strong need to demonize what they don't like and they don't anything. I feel sad for them.
I don't think you sugar coat anything at all, my sense about you is that you share with us your truth. You have adjusted well there but
not without hard work. Let's face it! change is very difficult for anyone. I know, I travel a lot mostly in Europe and I have learned to accept all culture and have enjoyed my travels.
Hi Bob;
I just posted to the "Is It Just ME" whih what I think. Here is what I still know.
1. I know where the Airport is.
2. I know my Passport is valid.
3. I know I can afford the ticket.
Before I'd cry in my beer about the how bad my life is, I'll fly away. Hey I'm still here! I guess all is well with me.
Hi Bob, All I can say is there are two kinds of people in this world, one thats a taker, one that are givers..It takes all kinds to make the world go round. One day I'll be their full time, but untill I do, the Philippines is the sweet life.You are a lucky dog..J.C.
Very appropriate article, Bob. You know that I've been blogging about three years myself on the Philippines (starting year number 4 of living here very soon now). I have at least another 4 years active participation in several other large groups/forums centered about the Philippines.
After this amount of time I guess I pretty much feel like a divorce court judge .. if after your decision is rendered both parties in the divorce are equally pissed off, then you have done your job.
I really miss participating in those forums(and on your's here at LiP), but emotionally I just can't, becuase of all the complaining "half empty" people who hang out there and shout down anyone with a balanced view.
Just the other day I had a unique expereince … I received emails in the same day that told me I was blatantly sugar coating things and then another asking me if I hated it here so much why didn't I go back to the US? I slept well that night, knowing I must be doing halfway well at presenting a balanced view.
You know many people ask me how to avoid paying for a round trip ticket when they intend to fly here to take up residence. I think the smartest answer is, "buy the round trip ticket anyway, you may find you want to use the return half and make life easier for the rest of us".
Bob,
I understand your feelings. Learning life in a new country and a new culture where many things are complete opposites from back home is hard to adjust. When I write about the differences, I try to preface or in a final statement say, it is not wrong, life is just different. We will always be a "foreigner" and have trouble understanding the differences. I found a different life when I moved from New York to California and again when I moved to Florida. No place is the same, lifestyles are different and customs and cultures are at times opposite. Even here, as anywhere else you live, the more money you have, the easier life will be.
Bruce – I don't think we will always have trouble understanding the differences. Even as a long term resident, I still find differences that I didn't know of before, but I don't have trouble with it. I expect it, and often I revel the differences. You have not lived here long enough yet, though, to get to that point. A couple more years and you won't have trouble with the differences, though.
Bravo Bob, good way to grett the ney sayers. I have been a short time resident here and so far the positive far outweighs the negative in my opinion. People have a choice to live here or not nobody was sentenced to live here so why complain, just move and make youself happy. Life is too short to be miserable. I know you Bob and I know you don't sugarcoat or even stop your writers from writing about negative experiences here, but negative experiences are a part of life anywhere. Nobody promised Bill or anyones else a garden of eden. life without negative experiences would be so non-exciting to me, have a problem ? figure out how to deal with it and move on – rant over –
Bob,
I always listen to your observations and advice as I do with others I know who have lived here longer. I am learning always and try to show my readers the observations I see. I think many of us are good to explain and show what we observe. There are times, situations turn out differently for different people, but advice and knowledge is a good starting point to help understand life here.
Hi Tommy – Thanks… hey you are getting a little feisty today, my friend! 😉 Just kidding.
Oh gosh Bob I noticed that, maybe i should switch to decaf 😉
Hi Bob. I have been following your your articles since close to day one. I don't seem to contribute much, but why repeat what has been said. I find your pro's & con's Quite well balanced, considering the decision has already been made. If you focus on the negative, the negative increases. If you focus on the positive, the positive increases. Your life can be what ever you want!
Bob,
Yes, it is good when we all can assist or be assisted by contacts and friends we have met here and online.
Keep up the good work.
Hello All
I find this subject to be of great interest as I am someone who immigrated from his native country when I was a very young man.
It seems to me that after about ten years it gets easier to truly accept that one has left home and that all bridges are probably either gone or burnt.
This acceptance can be very liberating. It is a process that has to be endured. Many people find it very difficult to leave all that they have ever known and move to a strange land.
I believe it is also true that no immigrant can truly assimilate completely; there is always a tiny voice that reminds him, and sometimes inopportunely, that he might not just belong. The Buddha taught in his Second Great Noble Truth that pain is inevitable when we struggle with whatever our life experience is rather than being accepting and embracing that particular experience. It is amusing that victory and happiness comes with total surrender.
James Joyce, one of my more illustrious countrymen found that he was able to write Ulysses (one of the most famous works of literature which is set in Dublin, Ireland) only after moving to Switzerland and settling in Geneva. I find this irony delicious.
It has been thirty nine years and it has been a wonderful journey. I have an Irish friend who sometimes visits me from his home in the Patagonia region of Argentina who is very fond of saying that "there is no use in complaining as nobody wants to listen".
Best
Jody
Hi Tommy – 😉
Hi Bob,
To be honest the Philippines is a third world country with a lot of problems, lack of facilities etc etc and one could go on and on about the negatives. I think only a small percentage of people from affluent western countries could adapt to life there – the pluses for most people would be heavily outweighed by the negatives. I know a lot of filipinos who have left the RP and migrated to Australia and to be honest I know of none who want to return there to live. They all say its "just too hard" there.
Having said all that its really a matter of horses for courses. You and a lot of the expats on this site genuinely love your life there and thats great because you have adjusted and it fits your needs and outlook. For those who have tried it and complain a lot I think you have to accept that while some of them would not be happy anywhere most have genuine complaints because love it or not the Philippines is a very backward third world country.
I agree the complainers should get out if they don't like it but I guess the other problem as indicated by your poll earlier is that many are there for financial reasons and can't easily go home.
Personally I am attracted to the romance of retiring there which is why I regularly read and enjoy most of the posts, but my wife does not want to return and realistically I am sure the problems would drive me crazy. Life is just tooo good in Australia.
I think it's all about prefernce. You prefer Australia over the Philippines and so, good for you and your wife. But I do think it's
unnecessary for you to expound on the Philippines being backwards, to
the Philippine people it's probably not that way at all. Just because
you don't like it does not mean it's bad it's just different and yes, you don't have to be there. Am certain no one cares.
It's your negative tone that I find disturbing. There are a lot of people who love it there, have some respect. I travel a lot and I haven't been to one country I did not like or speak of the way you
speak of you wife's Country. Something to think about!
Hi roy – I have no problem with those who have left the Philippines and don't care to return – it is their choice. It would be hard for me to criticize them, after all it is pretty much the same as my thinking, only in reverse!
Hi Bob,
In my time her, especially as a bar owner I get all the complaints that you can immagine from many ex pats! Most of them seem to want to be seen as superior beings and tend to treat the locals like something you step in and really do not come here with the attitude to blend in with the local population at all! They usually pretend to be much higher in status than they really are and make mountains out of mole hills if they can get an argument out of it! Most of these people do not last her and go bact to where they came from to continue complaining to a new audience about how bad it is here!
I have worked in some really backward countries in Africa and I recomend to the people who complain all the time to go and live in Nigeria, Sudan or Senegal after which they will really appreciate just how good it is to live in the Philippines!
Hi Bob.
I have been reading your collumn for a long time, and have always noticed the balance between good and bad.
Here in my country we have a saying: some people are looking for the hole in the cheese, and get nothing; others look for the cheese and get something. I hope you understand the picture.
Hi Roy, if i can comment on your's, that's right on I know for a fact that if my wife had the same oppertunity here in the Philippines that she will enjoy elsewhere there is no way we'd even consider leaving if only for a vacation. Not all people travel the same life path and many have reasons for residing one place or another. what i hgave learned in my years is that where ever you are happy is where you belong.
Bob can I also comment on this column's photo, that is the cutest little girl I bet she is a charmer just adorable 🙂
Hi GenSan Chris – I can only imagine the "tears in beers" that you've seen! Being behind a bar must open you up to all kinds of thoughts! I agree too, that most of the complainers end up going home, and rarely last for the long term.
Ha ha ha… Preben, I certainly understand that one! I never heard the saying, but I like it! Thanks for reading!
Bob, I agree with you your site does not sugar coat life here however there are several that do paint the Philippines as a Paradise and put people under the ether of love romance and living like a King on under $1000 dollars a month
I have been earning a living here now for 9 years during that time I have met all kinds of expats the dirty the bad and the ugly and a few I call my friends
All that I have meet came looking for their paradise 70% left within the first 3-5 years after spending what little money they had
The other 10% are sitting in the coffee shops each day complaining to each other about everything Filipino. Most of these people are here because they could not afford to live on their retirement incomes in their own country due to what ever the reason they have been miserable all their lives so why would anyone expect them to be happy with a new culture and a new country
The rest of us that adapted to the culture enjoy our lives here with our Filipino friends
In my opinion the Philippines should raise the requirements for foreigners to get a visa to live here as the requirements as they are now attract to many of the bottom feeders from all over the world to this great county and its people
Best regards
Tom happy to be in Roxas City
Hi Tom – Nice to hear from you. Yeah, I know the kind of expats you are talking about. As I sit here thinking, I wonder – do you think those negative "sit around and complain" types are the majority of expats? If they are not the majority, they certainly have a significant number, no doubt.
Thank you for commenting, Tom.
Ha ha… good one, dans! I do hate the brain freeze…. and always go back for more! 😉
Bob: I'm in the States this week, and it takes about a day here to put into perspective why I left. Can't the TV just give up all the Michael Jackson crap?
Hi John – I hear you! 😉
Hello Chris.
I also have spent some years in Africa which included stints in Nigeria, Kenya and Somalia.
I lived in Kaduna for about four years and I have to tell you that over the course of the four years I did not meet one Westener who had gone there to retire. LOL
Mind you I do have good memories of the camel racing in Kano, and trips to Jos,(Jos is the Baguio of Nigeria) ect; I left Africa a stronger and better man. One of my Grandsons is now working as an intern for Bechtel in Lagos and I tell him that he also will leave Nigeria a better man; he had a pampered and priveleged life in the States and he is never amused when I tease him in this manner.
Thousands of people from the Philippines (mainly Teachers) lived and worked in Nigeria during the late seventies and I have often wondered if many of them settled there permanently. I used to know an accountant from the Philippines who worked for the Emir of Kano. Every time I met him he would invariably greet me with a huge grin and say 'this is hell on Earth" and we would have a great laugh together.
Best
Jody
Hi Bob – You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. Just my opinion but I think you do a bloody good job running this site. It’s informative and at times lively if yesterdays post is anything to go by.
We even have an apology from time to time as the tempers flare and recede usually due to a misunderstanding or three of the written word.
The important thing is you now know how I felt with the opening comment I received on my last literary masterpiece I wrote with such conviction and enthusiasm to be shot down in flames by someone whom we shall probably never hear from again or want to hahaha!
Keep on writing buddy I’m your number one fan (no lunch intended).
Best wishes from Talakag.
Jim.
Hi Chris- I could not agree with you more.Your reference to living in Nigeria brought back a saying which I heard when I first went in 1977 it was,if they (Nigerians) were that good there would be no need for us to be there so just be grateful for that fact otherwise you would not hold the post that you do.
The other old Ibo saying usually written on the lorries was "No condition is permanent".
All the best.
Jim.
Bob,
Great article. I plan on retiring in Leyte in 11 years and I hope to learn some of your life lessons before I make the move. I belonged to 2 yahoo groups and the complaining was so bad that I stopped going to their websites.
I got an email from a filipina friend about a garbage truck. I love the positive attitude and try to carry that with me. (Yes I carry and dump my garbage to often.) I am going to paste the email here.
LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so…
Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don't.
Bob,
I don't see you making only positive remarks, unless you look at it like this. Sometimes life hands us lemons, and you need to learn how to make lemonade out of it. You seem to look for the positive in the negative. You discuss all facets of your life in the Phils. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
You will never be a Filipino. I mean just look at you, you're a Caucasian. Fair skinned with light hair. That doesn't mean in your heart, and thinking you can't be a Filipino. The deeper you immerse yourself into the Filipino way. The more your heart, and thinking will become Filipino, and after all. Isn't that exactly what one should do? When in Rome do as the Romans comes to mind.
Take your step to learn the language. The people will respect you so much for doing this. Even if it is done poorly they will understand you are trying, and at times trying so very hard. Not everyone can adjust quickly, but adjust they must, or they will be unhappy. I believe the Philippines has too much to offer to not adjust……i2f
Bob
Your site seems to be the most balanced of any expat site on the Philippines. There is good and bad anywhere. It sure helps to have this valuable information to make a decision on a major lifestyle change as a move to another country, culture.
Personally, it seems easier to daydream about tropical paradise from 8000 miles away and sometimes your articles brings me back to the reality that I may not have the personality to put up with hardships and annoyances that can occur by living in the Philippines. I find life here in the pine forests isn't too bad, money always comes and goes, friends and family are close by and that I am really put off by noise and pollution. To leave that on a permanent basis would be hard to do. But the "grass always is greener" on the other side of the fence and the fact there won't be a meter of snow on the ground in February will probably keep us coming back to the Phils in the future for at least for a few months at a time.
As I mentioned in a recent reply to a different article, at first glance to this website a reader may get an impression that some things may have a bit of Sugar Coating as sometimes we read only what we want to or only what interests us. Spend some time and read on and not only from Bob Martin, but from other regular writers, guest writers, commenters and forum posters that their is a balance of individual experiences. This website is always providing fresh new material to read on a wide variety of information and experiences in The Philippines.
As for Bob Martin, after reading his websites for a few years I really feel that what some may refer to as a " Sugar Coating " is really Bob Martins enthusiasm about where he has lived for the past 10 years. He has also explained adjustments he too has made during that time and some of his experiences in less than desireable situations.
Can you really blame ( or should I say " Flame " ) Bob Martin for being enthusiastic about something he really likes ? Although I have never actually lived in The Philippines I am very enthusastic about my visits I have made there and look forward to visiting in the future as well. Were my visits " Perfect " ? no, there were a few drawbacks here and there and I handled them the most favorable way I could and today I laugh at some of them. Was my patience tried ? Yes a few times it really was although I had to remind myself that I was Not in the USA. For the time I was there, did I Live like a King ? no, I wouldn't go as far as to say that. I will tell you one thing for sure I felt as welcome as a king and that is something I will never forget ! Some of my friends here at home still can hardly believe it but I have the pics and other things to prove it.
Kamusta ka Bob,
Not much for me to say here, there's no "whitewash" used here, you do cover the positives and negatives of living in the Philippines with a good balance. With an emphasis on solutions (if any) on the negatives, or accepting them because there is sometimes no way of changing it.
As you know, I love this site. Just keep up the great job, in keeping us informed, sometimes amused, and most importantly prepared for a future of Living in the Philippines..be it tomorrow or ten years from now.
Salamat kaayo for all you and your writers do,
Danny 🙂
Aloha Bob, I do not believe that you are sugar coating. There are just some people who is hard to please. When I move to hawaii, I was so sad and missed phils. a lot but with few adjustments all is well. No place in the world is perfect. I just have to deal with it with hope and faith that God has better things to come for me. Before Bill or other expats starts complaining they should check thier attitude first before they can change things around them.
Hi Bob – Well I'm not the same Bill to which you refer, but I know what you're talking about. These folks who are chronic complainers do it no matter where you put them. They are unhappy in just about any country, any setting, regardless of their circumstances.
It is true things are different in the Philippines than they are "back home", but then again that's why you're there (Philippines) to begin with I would think. Too many people spin their tires trying to make things work in the Philippines they way they do "back home", but this is about as productive as swimming upstream against a strong current.
It's when one embraces the Philippines for what it is, and makes the best of it that they can find peace. Things will NEVER run the same way they do "back home". The Philippines is the Philippines, much like any other place being what it is, and to a great extent one has to accept this.
While we can offer contribution to the society around us, rarely can we ever change it to our exact liking. Only when we adapt to our surroundings, rather than expecting them to adapt to us, can we be happy.
Life is a journey. If you love to see natures – caves, volcanoes, waterfalls, rivers, good beaches, old churches, mountain scenery, different species of birds, tropical fruits and lovely flowers. Stay in Philippines.
Philippinos tend to work overseas just to make money. When they have enough, they have always comeback to their native land.
I don't think people enjoy the mechanical rides of roller coaster and virtual reality as well.
It is interesting to see the parallels with living in Hawaii and PI, esp for white people from the mainland US. I hear about how they complain about the bad stuff about Hawaii. They live in gated and the rich areas of the state. They just don't get that there is a big cultural difference between the Mainland and Hawaii. Yet there are many who live and thrive here, esp my Dad. I am glad you have adjusted to life in PI. Even being from Hawaii, and having many Filipino, it still was a huge culture shock, when I visited PI the first time.
Hello Bob, All I can say to someone who feels this way about living here,is they need to really understand that being happy with life depenends on yourself. Not on your external world around you. Maybe they have no love and are very hurt ,runnung away from something in the pass.Ask God the remove the pain from the heart.
Hi Ralph – Nice to hear from you! Yeah, I agree, you can never be happy when you are not happy with yourself, or at peace with yourself. That is the first step toward a happy life!
Oh nice one…I like this very much! When living is so picture perfect and every little thing is convenient, it's harder to appreciate the really important things. And it's mundane things like the convenience of a washer/dryer, no brownouts, reliably fast internet connection, orderly streets and no traffic, no dishwashers, PLUS everyone around you speaking the same language and understanding what you're saying.
Once you've lived here long enough, you adopt a more relaxed view on life because it's not picture perfect. Somehow, your faith is stronger – that all things will turn out right DESPITE.
Hi Mita – It's funny how the "important things" can shift like that, don't you think? After a period of adjustment, that washer and dryer, dishwasher or whatever just doesn't mean as much as it used to. Things like family, less stress and such take a more important role in our lives! I like it!
Hi Bob: I have always found your articles even handed. As the old saw goes, " If you do not like the heat in the kitchen, get out of the kitchen ". Keep up the good work!
Roberto.
Hi Bob,
Love your site. I live in AC and have been contemplating a move to Davao. I run a small Tagalog School here in Angeles. Are there any schools teaching expats Filipino there in Davao?
Keep up the good work…
Cheers,
Chris
Hi chris – Welcome to LiP! Glad that you already love the site!
There really is not much teaching of Tagalog (or Pilipino) down here. Bisaya is the more widely spoken language here in the south, of course. I have been studying Bisaya for a little over 2 years now and have a private tutor.
You could probably do a little business teaching Pilipino to foreigners, but most foreigners don't seem to have an interest, though.
Come on down and check out the area, I'd be happy to get together and give you some tips. My cell number is (0915) 216-0300.
Hi Bob, I think you do a good job of presenting life in the Philippines in an objective way, and I don't think you don't present anything that you don't believe to be the truth. I don't have much contact with other foreigners, so it's kind of disheartening to hear that there are so many unhappy ones living in the Philippines. Of course everyones' lifestyle and circumstances are different, and I agree with others that initial culture shock could play a part with some peoples' unhappiness, but sometimes the saying "you reap what you sow" is true, and if a person is unhappy and unwilling to try to work through the differences that they have, will only continue to create a toxic environment for themselves and those around them. Probably best for them to to think of another life choice. Sadly, some people enjoy being unhappy though, as it means they don't have any responsibility to change, or they just don't have the skills to do so.
Sorry Bob, I got a little tangled up there–I think that you present your site topics in an honest way, and truly how you feel.
Hi Queenie – Thanks for your comment, nice to hear from you. Yes, I agree that it's disheartening that a number of expats seem to be so unhappy! At least we don't need to let them drag us all down!
Hi Queenie – I'm absolutely guilty of that! 😉
And my take on all of this is that, even if you do "sugarcoat" the Philippines (and I don't think that you do), there are so many, many websites and forums for the other side of this argument. Places where folks regularly bash the Philippines. If this particular site does not work for you, there are so many other options.
Read here and read there and draw your own conclusions. It's called critical thinking.
Maayong Buntag Bob
I had to laugh about the person claiming you sugar coat things in the RP since I have read many of your articles on things like Filipino time. It is best for these people that do not like it in the RP is to get on the plane and move back to the US or were ever they are from. Then they can go on complaining about there new surroundings.
Hi Tom – There is really a lack of critical thinking in people all over the world these days, don't you think?
WHY DO LIKE DAVAO COMPARED TO CEBU OR DUMAGUETE
Hi Sir BoB. Been "a while". Still in Thailand and Singapore over the last three weeks doing the "Visa Run" with my partner.
Sugar coating the Pines, LOL, you would have to be a brave man to do that! I am sure that time has mellowed your senses and you have made many adjustments to the Pines, which is now your home. Any country takes getting used to, not just the Pines. Better the Pines than Greenland, a bit cold at night!!! LOL.
I guess once you get over a few hurdles in a new country and make some adjustments, it becomes much easier and fulfilling.
Catch you later Sir BoB and keep flying the Pino flag!!!
When I retire, I plan to live part of the year in the states (spring summer) and live in the Philippines during winter months in the U.S. I like the idea of renting a place for about $400 or less, have a maid do the shopping, cooking and cleaning, and a driver to take me around. I wouldn't mind going out to the mall or a countryside just to get away, relax and be worry free. I will have no problem blocking out the bad politics, lack of infrastructure, etc. etc. Let's see now, on less than $1500 a month, I can live like a king and I won't even have to touch my retirement savings, company retirement, personal investments, and still have money left over from Social Security. Oops I forgot that I won't even have to touch my wife's retirement. I can dig the life in the Philippines. It's what you make it out to be. There are many negative things here in the US, but I've learned to deal with them and focus on what I consider important.
hi sir bob…. i am so proud of you…. im going home soon…. ingat always sir bob…
Hi richel – Salamat kaayo! Pagenjoy ang imong bisita diri sa Pilipinas!
its so interesting to read all the comments here… I really read all even I'm little bit tired… but it's worthed to read all the comments from different people…. mabuhay ka sir bob…
im from bukidnon… my husband and i will visit there in bukidnon soon… i enjoyed watching your video in youtube… i miss my country so much…eventhough im here in canada… but i believed the saying… that there's no place like home..hehehe….
in fairness maayo na kaayo ka mo bisaya sir bob… im sure that filipinos are so proud to have you in our country… goodluck and take care
Hi Richel – Yep, for me, the comments that we get here on LiP are what makes the site most enjoyable! It's a nice group of people who visit the site! Including you, of course! 😉
Gusto kaayo ko ug Bukidnon! Nindot kaayo ang lugar diha! Maayong klima pud! Asa ang imong lugar diha sa Bukidnon?
Ha ha… Salamat Kaayo, richel! Nageskwela ko duha ka tuig ug Bisaya. Akong maestra, si Bebe Metillo, maayo kaayo ang iyang leksyon!
hi sir bob..sa valencia bukidnon amo… so nice..because its in the middle of the mountain…. pro layo lang amo sa mga nice beaches..di pareha sa davao..pro ok lang atleast safe in case like this week daghan typhoon nga nitama sa philippines.. dha sa davao sir bob..ok lang dha ang panahon?
grabe na tour najud diay nimo ang mindanao sir bob ha…nakaanha mi many times sa roadhouse as in..nice kaayo ilang mga pagkaon dha… labi na ang mushroom soupe…medyo mahal gamay pro lami man sad ilang pagkaon…anyway i wish masuroy nako among place pareha nimo..kay murag alkanse ko nimo dah..taga dha ko pro wa jud nko nalibot ang mindanao..heheh
hope to meet u smeday.
well sir bob..thanx for your reply.. i would love to visit your site again….and check new comments from different people…. godbless and more power….
Hi richel – Visit again! Anytime.
BOB when things look bad I remember what my wide told me " Honey that's the way of the Filipino" then I go from there …
Very true, Phil! No doubt!
Hi Bob – I think too that some people try to act as an "army of one", borrowing someone else's slogan. Things in the RP work more in the context of the group, and thus you do often need the help of others in order to get to where you're wanting to go. If you're trying to "fly solo" all the time, it makes life all the more frustrating and difficult in the RP. Often times too, you just have to slow down and accept that the bus doesn't always run exactly on time in a figurative sense.
Hey Bob, was your site inspired by http://www.livinginthephilippines.com?
I have gotten to know Don recently and he is a hell of a guy.
If he inspired you, maybe you should give him his props.
Absolutely not. I started this type of site in 1995, well before Don did. Perhaps he should acknowledge me! My original such site in 1995 was called "mindanao-L" and I have had several other such sites over the years. The thing that inspired the name of the site as it is now is the fact that I live in the Philippines and wanted to write about the experience. Nobody inspired it, except my own lifestyle and thoughts.
While I have nothing against Don, I have had some negative dealings with him in the past. YMMV of course.
Hi Bob, I enjoyed reading your blog, and others in this site. I think there's a big difference between expats working in the Philippines, and expats living there. I was born there, but have lived much of my life in North America, worked in a number of places in the world. The feeling is very different in being in a place because of work, from being in a place because one wants to. It's like where would one call home? As for issues about quality of life, I suppose it all depends on one's priorities or how one measures wealth. My 2 cents worth.
Hi Alex – I think that there is some truth to what you say. For me, no doubt, the Philippines is my home, and I intend to keep it that way.
Hi John – I hear you… Just want to say, though, that not being able to speak Tagalog is not necessarily "putting on airs." Perhaps for some it is, but for many it is genuine. For example… Feyma, after living in the States for 10 years had a hard time with Tagalog. Bisaya is her first language, and she never spoke Tagalog that much anyway. When we came back to the Philippines, she was fine with Bisaya, but if she had to call somebody in Manila on the phone, she would always ask if they could just speak English, because she did not feel comfortable in Tagalog anymore. It was genuine, not trying to put on a show or anything.
What you say about Filipinos here in the Philippines "look up to you like you were the master of the universe" applies to foreigners like me too. I find it an uncomfortable thing, to be looked up to for no reason other than the fact that I am from the USA. It is uncomfortable, and creates a standard that you have to try to live up to. I would much prefer to be looked at as just another guy.
Sorry to hear about your Vikings, John.. I always hated the Vikings, though… they always beat out my favorite team.. the Rams (Los Angeles Rams back in those days!). 😉