I am writing something today related to the column that Bob was writing about the maid situation. We have lived here in the Philippines for almost 9 years now and yes we have some good and bad experiences with our maids. The one comment that really bothers me was:
1. Feed them good food. Not just dried fish and egg but, chicken, meat, fish and veggies. This is a major major factor for maids leaving. Lousy food.
2. Don’t be so demanding on them. They are not slaves but human beings. Wait for them to finish projects before loading them up on other things.
We never give that kind of food to our maid. What we eat is also the food of our maid. If we had steak they can also. Whatever we have is available for them too. Hey, I like to have dried fish once in awhile, so if I have that we all have it, except for Bob of course. I demand that the house be clean, but guess what, I help clean around the house, and so do our nieces too. I never let the maid do all the jobs around the house alone. I have a few nieces and nephew that lives with us. They help a lot around here.
Before coming here to live Bob and I talked already about maid situation. We want that they will eat with us together, and they will have the food that we have. Then when we came here we had a few maids and a guy helper, his name is Greg (House boy they call it) with us and a nanny for our youngest son at that time. The maids lasted for a year or so the Greg stayed with us for over 6 years. When I hired him he was a tiny, I mean a thin little fellow. I even told my sister I would not want him because his really young and so thin. But this kid told me that he really wanted to work for us. So I finally told him that I will accept him if he can show me that he could open the big gate for me. Our gate had wheels and was kind of hard to open. I think because he was so determined to work he opened the gate with a little bit of a hard time. I told him I will hire him because he showed the that he really was willing to work. He also had a hearing problem, so I told Bob to just blow the horn louder on our vehicle so that our Greg can hear him when he is outside the gate. Bob did that. You know what, just after a few months his hearing were getting better. We think it might just be from lack of nutrition that he had a hearing problem. The longer that he stayed with us the better his hearing. He also looks better physically.
When we moved to Davao he went with us too. By then he could already bake and he is already an expert on making bread and cookies. I forgot to mention that he is just an elementary graduate. When we moved here to Davao I told him he should try to study high school even just for the weekend. I think I scared him off on that. He told me that he doesn’t want to go to school. He is always making an excuses when enrollment times come. I just didn’t mentioned it again because I think he just is not ready yet. When our oldest son Chris was home schooled, sometimes Greg will sit down and just listen to the teacher. Also some of our workers were teaching him too. Really by the time he quit to help his mom he was already loaded with knowledge that he could use and will stay with him forever. Last time I saw him at my sister’s house he was so thankful of all the stuff we taught him. He said we really helped him a lot.
We had several maids that stayed with us for over 2-3 years. Most of them quit because of the family problems they had at home. Lots of tears were shed because they were already family to us and their feelings towards us also. Our laundry lady(Inday) came back after being fired by my niece without my knowledge. She would never be back here if we treated her bad. She cooks for us too. She told me even before that Bob and I were very nice to our people. That’s why she really comes back. I had previous maids that wanted to come back if only they don’t have small children. They said they really like us. I am not bragging here but you guys can ask some people we know. Even Teacher Bebe, you guys can ask her. She’s here a lot at our house.
That last maid we had quit she told her friend that she doesn’t have problem with the work here. She said not much work. Her only problem, its so quiet and when she gets out of our downstairs the only things she saw was the high wall fence and the clouds. She hardly sees people. She also had a friend who is a maid somewhere in GenSan and her friend would finish the job around midnight and get up early too. Pat told her friend that she gets up around 5-5:30am and have nap in the afternoon and by 8pm she’s done with her job. Gosh, the friend of Pat was really shocked that she didn’t have much job to do. Anyway in short Pat doesn’t want a job but just have some fun instead. Can’t blame anybody for her immaturity.
Anyway, hopefully we can find a good and mature worker soon.
Hi Feyma, what about maid working only 8 hrs. daily a week.I mean starting morning till the end of the time.Just like normal employee it might be work for your next maid.Well it does'nt mean I command you just only my idea…goodluck!
Hi Feyma,
You’re right about finding a mature maid. When my mom decides to stay in P.I for good, I told her I wanted to hire a maid. My mom is 68 yrs and has difficulty going upstairs due to arthritis; so, in short I hired one. My number 1 mistake was to hire my mom’s friend’s daughter. I guess, I felt bad for her because she’s a single mom and wanted to help the family.
Anyway, during our two months stay in P.I. she’s was very helpful, clean the entire house without me instructing her on what to do., watering my plants, wash cloths with the use of washing machine, gardening ,etc… so I could not ask for anything. When it’s time for us to leave for US, I told her what to do since there’s only 2 people in the house and not much to do house but to Clean…Hrs of duty 0730- 5:00 pm (I paid Php 2,500 mos).
After 3 wks or so, my mom told me that (our maid) showed up late every morning. My mom leave‘s for her store @7:30 every morning, our maid showed up @ 8:30 since we left… and on top of that she’s always on the net chatting. I left that computer for my niece and not for her to use. At one time she didn’t even showed up for 3 days and didn’t even bother letting my mom know if she was sick or not. She showed up the next day and asks for cash advance. So, my mom decides to let her go in a nice way, talked to her and paid in full month…. After a wk, my mom hears rumors that she’s bad mouthing us. I don’t know why she did this to us, we we’re good to her, whatever we ate she eats too; we gave her gifts, food to bring home to her son. But we end up we are the bad people.
I guess the moral of my stories is: Don’t hire a friend.
I wish you luck in finding your new maid.
Hay..Feyma…maids leave because it's their fiesta, or male househelp leave bec he wants to join the basketball tournament all summer or the maid got pregnant or what not. I have had maids who come back to work for us again with a little child in tow. I once saw the little girl hand to her Mom the broom. My point is it's very seldom that household help leave because of food issues. Just like you Feyma, we had 3-5 household help at the same time & they all eat anytime, whenever, & whatever we're having. & yes, I admit I keep my dried fish away from them because, hey..most of the time they don't know how to cook it like tuyong pusit.
Unless the household help has vowed life of celibacy, it is a good idea that they leave if they are not studying while working as help. I always tell my household help if you are here just for this, then it's not worth it. Some stayed for long but what happened to them when my big family had to migrate here? Needless to say, they felt so lost. Most of them came back to the province because it's hard for them to work as help to another employer. Only one studied though. & he's doing very well, earning a tidy sum from his call center gig.
It is interesting to read about maids. I don't know anyone here in the states who has a maid. Its nice that I don't have to hire a maid to do the work (thats what my Mom is for). Joke!
Hi Feyma, I just want to give my feedback about the dried fish not the maid. I was really surprised to learn that a kilo of dried fish here is more expensive than a kilo of pork or chicken. Even some varieties of dried fishes are more expensive than a kilo of a beef. Dried fishes suppose to be the viand of the average and poor Filipinos. Well, not anymore I believe. Btw, I like to have my dried fish for breakfast together with sinangag. Once a week will do. Regards
hi Fem,
i grew up with house helpers, and my parents taught us to respect
them , if we need something there were always that " palihog manang"
what they put on the table, we all share… but then, for sure its normal
oneday they will say goodbye to us for any reason.., but mostly their
personal reasons….not on our side but them…take care.
Hello,
There's other side to this also and some Filipino's, specifically wealthy intsik ones, do deprive maids of food and make them eat different foods. Below is some examples I saw.
I knew one that locked his helpers in a room at night with no cr, he just left a bucket in room to serve as their cr, also he gave them no toiletries etc, other than that he feed them very poorly and kept locks on his cabinets and refrigerator so they couldn't obtain food. I saw the locks and such first hand but our helpers niece once went to work for guy and stated their daily food was 2 piece of bread and cup of coffee, they could drink water but only out of the outdoor faucet.
Another I knew also keep locks on his doors and made the helper buy the food, he kept a running tally of what the eat and at end of month sometimes they owe him money even, they don't quit though because buying food even is better than no food at home.
A past neighbor of ours feed his helpers but only let them eat different food, he feed them rice with bugs inside and tambon fish if lucky, sometimes just rice, they used to tell our helpers about their treatment but nothing I can do to help as it was between them and their employer.
A foreign guy I knew in butuan used to have helpers doing work in the nude and he ran sex tours pimping out his helpers, some where very young and others he hire in hubo-hubo bars. One of our helpers niece worked for the guy and tell her aunt how the guy came in her room late at night and sex her, she didn't tell police because he pay her nearly 20tphp and help her dad start fish pond, besides will police do anything, probably nothing but ask a bribe. Some neighbors of this guy report him for so many underage girls but BI just tell them they have no budget to deport.
A muslim neghbor of ours in past used to have helper but not last very long as they always quit for varied reason. One quit because the muslim mans son slapped her face and another quit because one of muslim mans body guards put 500php in refriderater where she can find it and tell her he was plan to use her for that 500php, she quit.
I'm sure there are a multitude of other such stories but those are the situation I remember off hand.
Justin
Feyma: We did not hire any help full time until the baby arrived. Because Becky was on the receiving end of problems in the Middle East, she said she still feels funny telling our yaya what to do… as do I. Since she is taking care of our son, we will treat her like family… It really is the only proper way. As a matter of fact, when I went shopping for furniture for her room, she was taken aback because we asked her if she needed anything (Reading light, pictures, alarm clock) and what colors she would like for sheets, etc. I hope it doesn't come back to haunt us, but I really believe that paying people well and eating the same food helps avoid the "below stairs" mentality, as the British call it. Also, it is simply not worth it, in my mind at least, to get into pissing matches over a few hundred pesos. I look at it as an investment… They don't always work out, but when they do, it is worth the money.
Jess was a maid and she was well treated but she worked hard too, long days ,she worked for her aunt when we met . so when she had a maid ( househelper ) everything worked out good . When her mom and younger bother was killed when the ship sank last June .. we give her the time to go and see what was going on . I paid her for the time she took off ..I have had cousin . sisters and brother-in-laws doing house work even her uncle had her cousin stay and help us out . It is so funny , When her uncle speaks the whole tribe jumps up and does it ,well maybe not jump up but amazing loyalty in the tribe. SIR at work Bob .. we have had a few househelpers .., and they ate what we ate . dried fish an rice , I like it to … Phil N Jess
Hi Feyma! I remember our conversation at Coffee Club. I treat my maids the way I treat any employee. When I hire them, I orient them on what they should do, what is expected of them and what they cannot do. We provide them with everything they need bec sometimes I have helpers who come work for us with no toothbrush, decent slippers or towel. Breaks my heart everytime. At the same time, we don’t get too friendly with them because it’s better that way I believe. Be nice and be fair and be compassionate but always remind them that they are there to work. Always works out alright for us.
Hi ann – Good story there Ann. A lot of our readers can get some points from you and your mom’s experience. It’s really not easy to hire somebody thats close to you for a maid. Just not a good idea.
Its really hard to figure out what to think of this maids sometimes. They complain they had no money thats why they want to work, but they won’t stay though.
With our maids during Christmas we let them joined us in opening gifts. How many gifts we have thats also the gift our maid have. We gave them good gifts(even a bit expensive) that they really need. We even gave good jewelry and watches. When my mother-in-law spent Christmas with us they will get good jewelry and perfumes too. We just give because we are happy with the work they did for us. We treated them like a family.
Anyway, thank you so much for stopping here. God bless!
Hi margs – Yes I do have like that kind of employees. She comes to my house 4 days a week, and the other one, once a week to really clean the house thoroughly. I just want one maid that can take care before the kids go to school, and during middle of the day to take care of our lunch. My nieces and nephew helps around the house anyway.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hello Feyma, thanks forgenerously sharing your secrets! I have that same theory about lack of noursihment. Unfortunately, It's very true and common in our country.
Dave and I opt to have day workers rather than a stay-in maid. It works great for us since we don't have a big household. Right now, we have a cleaning girl (she uses her money for daily jeepney fare to get to her free high school – I like that), an ironing lady and gardener who all come once a week. Sometimes I feel like I don't need the extra help but there are many here who need the extra pesos.
Hi Roy – Yes they would really leave or quit if you don't allow them to go home for the fiesta or birthday of some family members. I had a laundry lady before that would not show up at the day that she's supposed to do her laundry. Show up like 2 days later, when asked what happened she would say that it's her neighbor's kid graduation or somebody's birthday. One day she did that again I told her to just go home and not come back again. She was stunned that I let her go. I think in her mind she thinks that we can't survived without her help.
She came by here at our house few weeks ago and asked me if I need her service again, I told her "NO THANK YOU". I could see on her face the disappointment.
Thank you Roy for your comment. Thank you for reading! God Bless!
Hi Brent K – Hey it's so expensive in the States to have maids. Unless of course your Oprah or Bill Gates. 😉
Take care!
Hi Teng – I think so too. I think the dried pusit is more though than the dried fish. I could be wrong on that. I will ask somebody on that.
Hmm, I think we will have dried fish today for lunch. Inday(my laundry lady) asked me awhile ago if it's okay.
Thank you Teng for stopping by!
Hi evelyn – That's one thing we taught our kids with to give respect to the maids. I'm proud to say that my kids really are good with our people.
Hi Justin – I heard some story similar like that. I really have to asked some questions of myself is it possible to do such cruel thing to a human being? I just can't even swallow the food if I know I have somebody in the house that I didn't feed right. Thank God we don't mistreat our people.
One of our maid told me before that her former employers heads out to work after breakfast. The owner locked up the doors and let the maids stay in a small storage area next to the house until they will come back again later that day. My helper said she just stay there for 2 days and left. It's understandable why the maid quit.
Some really had a sad story and others just plain lazy though.
Thank you for stopping by here.
Hi JohnM – Believe me John you will be happy that you had nanny to help you out. It's a hard adjustment at first to have somebody there in your house, but at the end you guys will be happy to have somebody there.
Oh yeah I believe in treating your people well.
Thank you!
Hi Phil n Jess R. – Well that's really nice that Jess made her life better. I'm glad your helping out with your maid. Hmm, you like dried fish? Good for you.
More power to you & your family! Glad seeing you here!
Take care!
Hi Cathy – Some are just immature I think. The mature one and wanted to stay, they can't because the family problems is just too much.
We do provide them too with their personal needs and throw extra clothes when they help out at our business.
It was nice seeing you and Melper last week. Of course we enjoyed seeing Cedric. 😉 He is getting cuter and cuter everyday.
Take care Cathy.
Hi Mita – That's one thing Bob and I were talking about. When time come for us to live in Samal we want something like that. Just somebody that will come to the house a few times a week. That will do really for us.
Keep up the good work of helping out. Nice seeing you here!
Take care and God bless!
One thing that is kind of funny about this is that a lot of times, it seems like our maids want dried fish! I guess it is because it is what they are used to.
Hi Feyma, that's what I did. Asked a mother of 3 to come and clean 3 times a week. I do the cooking, but these days, I am away, so she just have to do re-heating for herself and Kjartan. Even that, there is not enough work, She is free to go home when she finishes – which she does around 2 or 3 pm. She likes her freedom and she works other jobs washing for others. Her 3 kids all go to school.
By the way, I emailed you about 1-2 weeks ago to invite you to an orientation/briefing session. I didn't get a reply back and am not sure if you got my email. Cheers.
What upsets me is when I am in a restaurant a family will bring the babies attendant and while they enjoy the meal the attendant is walking the baby. I have never quite understood why they bring the baby and attendant to the restaurant. Then they finish the meal and leave while the attendant has not had a bite to eat. Once in Manila I saw this happen and I called the waiter over ordered a steak and told him to put it on my tab and take it to the young lady holding the kid by the door. As soon as the meal was delivered one of the guest of the family alerted the hostess of the meal and she went running over there screaming she should not have ordered that she was not going to pay for it there was food at home for her to eat. The waiter explained the meal was paid for and she demanded to know who paid for it. She came running to the table with all her explicit language and when she finished I simply said there is no need for you to go to Confession Sunday I have heard your Confession and forgive you in the name of Christ. I handed her my business card and she immediately began to apologize. LIKE I SAID WHY DID SHE BRING THE ATTENDANT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Hi Feyma,
I have a very different approach to my 3 domestics maybe because I live in Africa hopefully soon PH.
All my domestics have been with me for 14 years.
The problem in giving food is that although they eat during the day a large amount goes home with them and one's household bills can become very expensive plus you know you have x in the refrigerator you go to get it and it has gone. Very annoying.
What I did when I emploed them was to first negoiate a salary and secondly ask them how much they tghought it would cost them to eat during the day?
It was decided that the same day they receive their salaries they receive their food allowances.
They seem to have worked very well with this system. They all club together and cook for the three of them and all in my refrigerator stays intact.
A little while ago I put to the test and suggested I stopped this method of giving an allowance and I was met with huge opposition.
Their main argument was that our ways of eating are very different and on the system I have in place they get to eat their likes and tastes.
as to being over friendly it does not work and my friends who are like that have huge staff turnovers.
I am very firm,fair and strict and they know where they are with me.
Christmas Bonus I do not give but again discussed with them and I pay the bonus on each ones Birthday. This makes it lighter on my pocket and means that they can actually receive more.
If they werent happy they would never have stayed 14 years !!!!!
Diana
Hi Ellen – I had somebody come here to the house twice a week before this new made came along. The lady did a pretty good job in cleaning the whole house. If I don't have maid again I will hire her to come like 3 times a week. With the kids I had to have her here a few times a week.
When you email me that might be the time I had problems with my PC. Next time text me also. Are you in town? I haven't seen you in awhile here in the LIP. Whenever I will head that way I will give you a buzz maybe we could see you just to say hi.
Take care and God bless!
Hi Diana Harvey – Maybe I should try your methods too. Yes its really puzzling to us that a lot of the maids don't stay longer even though they are treated very good.
Thank you for your advice. And thank you for stopping by!
Hi Feyma, I am actually in Davao everyday except sundays now. If you are here on Sundays, sure, drop on by. Text me first cuz sometimes we are out cruising.
Hi Feyma, does anyone else find the volume of women and girls working as maids in the Philippines disturbing?
It's symptomatic of a country that polarises the rich and poor. I dream of the day when Filipinos (and Indonesians, Indians, etc..) don't have to work as maids.
No-one wants to be a maid.