I have a new friend. She’s a really cute girl too. Feyma is OK about it, though. Don’t worry, I’m not going the way of Steve Pavlina, though. No, I am not talking about any kind of girlfriend, I’m talking about a young niece of mine named Nicole. Well, really her name is “Princess Nicole” and she will be quick to point that out if you forget! Nicole is 4 years old, but will be turning 5 this week. She spent about 3 weeks with us over the holidays. I really got very close to Nicole over the past few weeks too. I am writing this on Saturday, and she is going home to GenSan today. I will really miss her, and she tells me that she will miss me too.
Of course, I’ve known Nicole for a long time, but we always had a bit of a language barrier before, since she only speaks Bisaya at this age. Now, though, since I can also speak Bisaya, we really hit it off this time. We spent a few weeks as best pals! At first, Nicole was a little hesitant of me, but that cleared up right away when she found out I could also speak her langauge now. Since then, I’ve even had to ask Feyma to take her downstairs every now and then, just so I could get a break! Not too often, though, because I have enjoyed spending time with her.
When Nicole first came to stay with us, she didn’t talk to me too much. After a while she started calling me “Uncle Bob,” and after a week she started calling me “Daddy Bob” which is still what she calls me now. I am a sucker for little kids, especially little girls, and I have to admit that she really has her hooks in me. When she goes home, it will be really sad to see her go. She is always happy, and playful, and I like that.
Nicole had never gotten a Christmas gift in her life, so it was really fun to have her here for Christmas. We didn’t spend a lot of money, but we bought her a Barbie Doll, a little kid’s makeup kit, a new pair of shoes and a few nice clothes. She was absolutely thrilled. She didn’t let that Barbie out of her sight for days and days! She is also very proud to go with Feyma to the mall and wear her new dresses and such!
It was really interesting during Christmas, because she didn’t even know what to do with the Christmas presents! My nephew told her that you would get the present from under the tree and throw it in the garbage, and she actually did that! We all had a good laugh, and then told her that she was supposed to open the present and get her gift from inside before throwing the wrapping into the garbage! When she did that, she was quite shocked at what she found inside! Just watching her having her first Christmas experience really touched my heart and made me feel good.
After Christmas, when New Year’s came along, Nicole’s brothers and parents came up to Davao to spend the holiday with us, and when they go home (which will be later today) they will bring Nicole home with them. A lot of times over the past few weeks, Nicole has told us that she wants to stay here and live with us. It really gives me mixed feelings to hear that. Firstly, I would love nothing more than if she were to stay with us, I really love this little girl so much. However, it makes me feel sad too, for two reasons. Firstly, it makes me sad because I know that her family has limited resources, and that is part of the reason she wants to stay with us. Secondly, it makes me sad because as much as I would love to say “YES” – I just can’t do it. I have already got 4 kids of my own, and I have other nieces and nephews living with me. The family is already big enough, and I can’t really take in every family member that I would want to. I love having kids, it’s the best thing in my life, but my kids are well on the way toward growing up. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. I am at a point in my life where I just could not take in a young child. I can see the horizon of my life, and there are things I want to do when I reach that horizon and don’t have commitments to kids anymore. I want to be close to the kids in the extended family, but that can no longer include accepting them into my immediate family and having them live with me.
Nicole’s birthday is this week, and Feyma and I bought her a new bike for her birthday, something which she has never had before. She is so happy and proud of her new bike. On New Year’s day, I spent a couple of hours just sitting out in the yard watching Nicole riding her new bike! It was a lot of fun, and made me feel good to see the joy on her face.
I’m looking forward to seeing Nicole again soon. I hope that she has a good life back in GenSan!
Bob, great story and am glad you and Feyma have given Nicole memories that will last her a lifetime. I do really understand your comment about the horizon but personally for me, I won't mind having littler kids around even as i get older. I am 50 now and just this Christmas Jessicas daughter Udelle (age 6) started calling me daddy and really it also warmed my heart beyond words. I have 2 other children, a son age 21 and a daughter age 12.
Have a great day…
Morning Bob
Good to hear Feyma is ok with you having a special female friend. My wife would remove body parts on me if I had a special female friend ;wink; Funny how the cute little children can make the grown man melt. Are you sure you do not need a bigger family? You are becoming more Filipino. ;wink;
WOW! What a cutie! Where can we get one of those? Ha Ha! Marie and I have talked for many months and have decided that we will try to adopt a little girl like that when we return home. We have weighed the pros and cons and have decided to adopt outside the family so we can avoid the jealousy issue. Marie has always dreamed of having a little girl but has always had to settle for caring for neices and nephews. Hmm it sounds like Steve is trying to justify his wanderlust. I'm so sorry for his many victims.
Bob,
You are so lucky with the family you have. I know about how the heart goes out to kids, especially the little girls. I have found I get a smile everytime I see a little girl with her parents.
The other day I was at a Filipino friends house. He needed a tool for a job he is doing and I drove him. He has a little girl, I forgot the age but I think about 4. She was so adorable, but so shy. At one point I picked her up, put her on my knee and gave here a "horsey ride" and tickeled her too.
From that point, she would not get off my lap until I had to pick her up when we had to leave.
That's so cool Bob! I have a knockout niece the same age, who adores me; yet we can't yet communicate. I hope to emulate your effort on this one for sure!
Life sure is different when you are at home with the language where you live.
All my Filipino friends tell me that for a westerner the ultimate status symbol is a thorough knowlege of the local language (usually that of his wife).
Bob: As you said, "Those big brown eyes." What a little doll!
Good morning Bob. I have this weakness for little girls too. My granddaughter has me wrapped around her little fingers. In fact, I have a special daughter where we bonded when she was an infant. I am the only dad she ever knew. Most of my relationships have been with women who had little girls. One young lady (age 26) wished that I was her father which I met briefly while visiting there in March of last year. I became her dad. She and her husband now call me tatay and their daughter call me Lolo Edward even though we have never met.
My gf's daughter calls me Daddy Edward and we have never met yet. I could go on and on. I have sons and a grandsons and love them dearly, however, it's the little girls that melt my heart.
So even though I may not be allowed to own an orphanage, I will always have this ever growing group of kids (both boys and girls) who will call me their dad here in the states and for sure in the Philippines.
She's adorable 🙂
SO cool thumbs up Daddy Bob I like the sound of that hee hee Yea kids are so great and when they get to know you they are like starfish so hard to pry off , hee hee, I have done that in the Philippines and some are very shy too …So right you are Bob speak the language Kids will love you My wife calls here uncle Daddy too so now I know why . 🙂 🙂 … Thanks Bob Phil n Jess
Hi Bob- All you have achieved with this post is prove that you are a big softy after all hahaha!.
Come on up to Bethany and I'll let you be a big softy and Tito Bob to a whole bunch of kids here.
Best wishes.
Jim.
Hi Jim – Been there. Done that. Plan to do it again for sure! 😆