Over the course of time that we have been back here in the Philippines, almost 13 years ago now. I have been posting every now and then about my adjustments and re-adjustments of living back here.
Been thinking lately of the life that Bob and I created here for our family. Really, overall we did the right thing to move back our family here in the Philippines. Thank God for the good advice of the kids’ pediatrician (Dr. Juan Rivera) in the States. He told us to move the kids at a young age. That’s what we did and it turned out really good for us and the kids. Best advice he gave too was to bring along almost everything what our kids had there so that they still felt at home when adjusting to the new place.
We brought with us almost all the stuff in their bedrooms and the toys. I think it really did help our kids. Our oldest son at that time was 8 years old and our second was just over 3 years old, our youngest was just over a month old. So no memory of our youngest child of the life we had in the States. But to tell you guys frankly, he is the one that truly had the Western blood, he is the one that had a hard time adjusting to the heat here, even now. Not sure if its because he is the one that had the lighter skin among our boys.
I can truly say that all of us in our family really love living here in the Philippines now. We could have moved back to the States anytime if we want to. But we like it here. My family (sisters and other members of the family) come here to our house once in awhile to visit. Our kids especially Chris likes to visits our farm in Sarangani Province or they go to my cousin’s (who lives in Kidapawan) for a vacation. Our kids are really close to their cousins and aunties and uncles. I could also say that the best thing that Bob ever did to while living here was learning the language. At least he could go anywhere he wants to go without asking help from any of us regarding communicating with the local folks. I am so proud of him for that, and the willingness in his part to learned the language. It was not easy but he was so motivated to learn and he did.
I am not saying all of this for everyone to follow what we did. Each of us have different tricks on what and how to deal with living here. I am not going to sugar coat here. Living back here is not easy, it’s so difficult talking about adjustments now. I am not going to tell you guys to follow our path on dealing how to live here. I am just telling here how we adjust to the life here. Luckily nowadays you can read so many materials on line on how to deal living here. Bob and I did it through trial and error. But we are happy that it worked out good for us. I’ve seen some that had a hard time living here and end up moving back. I am not blaming them, just feeling sorry for them because they have to start their life all over again.
Been hearing people that are so negative of living here. I’m sure while adjusting to living here we had that kind of attitude. But if living here for years and still had negative thoughts and attitudes towards living here, I think it would be better off to go home to the country where the person is from. It will not do anyone good to stay here and not happy. It will just drive the person crazy and bitterness towards the country and the people around them. Later it could turn the person in big trouble. I’ve heard some foreigners go ballistic and end up dead at the end.
I guess at the end of the day, no matter what part of the world you are living, still you have to adjust to the people you are with. Happy to have the bi-culture household. Both are learning new things everyday. Adjustments, more fun living in the Philippines.
Mabuhay!
Very well stated, Feyma. Thank you!
Thank you so much John Reyes for the nice comment.
Have a great day!
I enjoy my life here in Tagum City. I have not seen a single snow flake since moving here 3 years ago. 🙂
Farmer Bob??? Not sure I can see that… 😛
I do try to stay away from many of the expats here in the Davao Region. I have never seen so many unhappy people. Their rude actions reflect on me and my wife Meriam. Life can be very good here if you just “go with the flow.”
Thanks for all the help you and Bob have given me over the years. God bless you and your family Feyma.
Hi Gary – Good for you… Snow flakes, what’s that? LOL… Hope no snow flakes ever in Tagum. 🙂
Ha ha ha..Farmer Bob, ain’t gonna happen.
Good advice to just “go with the flow” here.
Nice to see you did appreciate what we do here on LIP. Thank you also for sharing your thoughts here. It’s always good to see you here.
Have a wonderful day!
Great perspective Feyma. Odds are those same people had the same issue in the states or whereever they may have came from.
Hi Dirk – Thank you so much… Can’t argue you on that.
Glad to see you here. Have a good day!
Well spoken……………
Thank you Lenny.
Always good to see you here.
Have a nice day!
Hi Feyma – Very nice article and one of the best guidebooks for expats who want to settle and live a happy life here in the country. There are many articles written along this topic, but few are able to deliver its purpose–teaching/learning how to assimilate for a happy living.
Mrs Feyma,
Hoping my adjustment in the Philippines goes as well as your families has. Take care and always stay safe.
Hi louie – Thank you so much. I’m pretty sure we had so much articles about adjustments and living here in the Philippines on our archives here.
Thank you for the nice comment.
Have a pleasant day!
Hi PapaDuck – I’m sure you will. It’s much easier nowadays, with the internet around. it wipes out the boredom. 🙂 LOL…
When are you thinking of retiring here? Good luck to you.
Always good to see you here PapaDuck. Have a great day!
Mrs Feyma,
My last day of work is May 27th. Should be over there by end of July if all goes as planned. Have a nice day.
I loved this article, very sound advice and so true on all fronts.
Since moving to the UK 4 years ago from Canada, I have felt very disjointed and out of place here in the UK, I do not feel I fit in, even my wife feels the same way, the UK is just to offish for us both. The UK is not a place we want to live in for the rest of our lives, we have both discussed it and weighed the pros and cons, at the end of the day you need to be happy where you live and the people you surround yourself with. You need to have both as one will not do.
When I lived in the Philippines for a year I felt at home, comfortable and at ease, my wife had all of her friends and family around her which made her feel in place and they also made sure that we were ok and helped where they could. So we are both very excited about moving back to the Philippines later this year, and look forward to the new adventures.
Now with that said there is a lot of adjusting I will have to do all over again, but I am easy going, open minded and I always just go with the flow….. Maybe that is why when I lived in the Philippines for that year I adjusted and felt at home very quickly. I guess what I am saying is go there with an open attitude and a cool head and the rest should fall into place.
Thanks again for the read.
Hi Bilko – Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked the advice here.
I felt for you. Hope you will retire in the Philippines soon. Are you guys still in the UK?
It might be easier for you to live here since you’ve been living away from your country. You already used to adjusting other people and the surroundings. Where in the Philippines are you guys retiring?
Good luck on your move sometime soon.
Happy to see you here. Have a great day!
Hello Feyma;
Yes we are still here in the UK, we are aiming to be back in the Philippines in and around November / December. I am only 37 years old and my wife is 29, we are a young couple, so far off from retiring, however we want a more enjoyable & simple life, and living here in the UK is not allowing us to live how we both want to live…. I run an online business, so we have freedoms to move back there. As well as other plans we are going to be setting in motion once we are there and settled.
We are planning on living in either, Toledo City, Bato or Balamban. Count down now, not long to go really!
Thanks again and God Bless.
I enjoyed the article and agree with Dirk. A question for either you or Bob; how long did it take Bob to be comfortable conversing in the local language?
Hi big p – Thank you very much. I will let Bob answer that for you. In my observation with him, not really long after he was taking the classes. I mean just a few lessons. I guess for one he was so eager to go to the public market or just walked around the neighborhood and talked to the local people.
Thank you so much for stopping by. Have a wonderful day!
Hi Feyma….
I think staying or leaving depends on everyone’s situation. I have friend’s here who plan on staying forever, and some who go back and forth spending equal time here. I will be going back to the states in a few months, and it won’t be because I I have bad feelings for the Philippines. We both want to go there for at least a few years. She and I would both like her to get her citizenship…meet my family….see where I came from…..have her qualify for my SS benefits…etc etc etc.
It makes sense for you and Bob to live here. From what I know from reading this site, you and Bob have made a good life with the kids here. My thinking is that raising kids here is far better in most ways. This is my thought after living here for three years. We have no small kids, just an adult one who lives on his own here. We are free to move about more.
I never have understood those negative one’s who stay and stay. Fortunately I have to say I have run into very few of those. Sure there are those little bitches from time to time, but one will have those no matter where you live. I will consider my time here a very positive experience, and one I wouldn’t change. Heck, I met the love of my life here….who would want things different?
I shall return!!