Is an old Navy expression (At least that was the first place I heard it) as you file into a space, some Chief will be shouting; “Tighten it up shipmates, park it somewhere!” and somehow we all fit.
We were all sitting at Texas Joe’s on Valentine’s Day and it was crowded. The lot was full and the young security guard was running ragged trying to fit everyone in. Then a huge fire engine red Toyota pickup truck, tried to park between two cars on the street. I knew it was going to be a major-major fur ball, I mean a jacked up four wheel drive, large tires (Wait they will be tyres in a minute) sitting so high he can look down on Victory Liners.
His first mistake was pulling his front end into the space first, vice the reverse end in, or parallel parking… and that was on my driver’s license exam in 1963. The harried security guard ran over to assist him, but it was a lost cause. Jerk forward, cut the wheel jerk backward. This went on for so long I ordered another drink while waiting. Then he had the front end sticking into the street, but with another set of adjustments he now had the read end sticking out. Now in typical ugly foreigner form he starts belittling the guard which is when I heard his Australian accent (Or maybe it’s me who has the accent and not him?)
With some more adjustments the monster truck was as parked as it would ever be. Then he and his lady climbed down to street level, and proceeded to the front door. A few seconds later he came storming back loudly complaining that the damn place was full. They reloaded themselves back into the truck and left. (His Valentine lady looked none too pleased)
The table that was also watching beside me started laughing and then I heard another Australian accent say out loud; “Damn fool shouldn’t buy a truck he can’t park.”
Since I’m on the subject of parking here in the Philippines this is something that if you think about it you will know I speak the truth. No matter where you are, even down the most lonesome empty road in any Province on this Archipelago, if you move your gear lever into reverse something or someone will magically appear behind you! For those that don’t believe me go to your car in your driveway and try it. Then come back and tell us what was there.
My wife wanted a back up camera installed in our Mitsubishi, and remembering all the times I watched her attempt to back up I saw the merit in her request and had it installed. But if the truth be told, I like it more as she has found every way conceivable to drive without ever having to back up. That in itself is amazing to me.
Olongapo City is an innovative place, we were the first to have color coded Jeepney’s, and by color coding I actually mean the color of the Jeepney tell you where it’s going and within a week, you can get anywhere without having to ask another soul. Whereas in Manila color coding means the first number on your tag odd or even. Whatever that has to do with color I’m at a loss.
My friend Don and I were driving through The Big “PO” when we noticed that city workers were painting Jeepney loading and offloading spaces along every road. He smiled at me and pointed out the waste of time and money that is and I returned the smile to him as I commented those will be wonderful places for “High Persons” to park their SUV’s.
Then we started joking and pointing out that alongside the road people will stand in small groups, 10 to 15 feet apart and the Jeepney, without fail will stop and accommodate each group. And the same rule applies to people debarking wherever they tap that Peso on the roof is where the driver will stop. And some genius at City Hall thinks that some painted lines will change how people will travel. Two weeks later I’ve yet to see a Jeepney driver stop in the designated zones, albeit they make wonderful places for businesses to display their products along with the sidewalks and for High Persons to park their SUV’s.
Now please do not think I’m bemoaning the situation, as it is one of the personal freedoms I love about living here. Plus the fact that I’ve yet to see a damnable parking meter on any street yet. We do have some old lady’s that charge you ten pesos to park (No time limit) downtown, but they must find you before you leave or you get to park for free! It’s a contest I love to play in. We don’t know who she works for but she will put a receipt on your car to mark that you paid.
So there is truly one place you can park it somewhere or anywhere, that is still here on Earth.