Live in the Philippines

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Please Wait, But Stop To Smell the Roses

Immigration / by / 59 Comments

Second trip to Mega Manila to finish off the re-stamping of my passport (see last week story) While there last week,I had no time to enjoy the trip as the bureaucracy at the Bureau of Immigration had me dancing to their drummer and not mine.

Owing to the fact that I still held my “Double Express Premium Plan” I knew I was guaranteed to have the finial stamp within 2 to 4 hours (I still recommend on the planning on the 4 hours side of the plan) and the owing to the fact that John M. had written “One Hour in Intramuros” last week here on LiP and his article inspired me to take action and follow his plan. And a great plan it was!

I arrived at the Bureau of Immigration at opening time, 0730 by their clock. I proceeded to Window 2 where Randy (The helpful guy) informed me that my paperworks had cleared 15 minutes after I’d departed last week, I smiled and said; “Randy, that’s just the way life is sometimes!” Then he sent me to window 1, where there works a girl who is the complete opposite of our new friend Randy. I handed in my paperworks and was informed to return at 1130 exactly 4 hours later. When she saw me smile as I thanked her, I know in my heart I had just ruined her day. I then informed her that I was going to spend the next four hours exploring Intramuros with my lovely wife and enjoy the four hour wait she had given me.

Article continues below pictures.  Click the picture for a larger view.

We proceed over to the Customs Building that was sitting in the middle of the block and read the history of that and took some pictures. We next went to the wall and took the ramp to the top and started walking around the entire walled city. The day was overcastted and quite cool and the walk was relaxing and very comfortable, plus informative. There were signs along the way that gave you an overview of where you were and the history behind it.

Many times we would leave the wall and explore a park we had seen or other items of interest, but always returning to the wall and trekking onward. I saw the very first 7-11 brought be the Spaniards circa the early 1500’s from my vantage point on the wall and snapped a photo of that for our readers.

Later in the morning while at the Manila Cathedral (Which by the way is now a Minor Basilica according to the sign) where we encountered the place to hire a Calisa. Using information gleaned from John’s post I was forearmed with knowledge of the cost per hour.

Okay, John was 100% correct, taking the time you have and adding in a good attitude one can enjoy a trip to the BOI in Manila. I will now thank John for his article and his inspiration. I really had a great four hours that morning.

Back to the BOI, the paperworks are done with ten minutes to spare, off to room 312 to verify that all my information is true and correct and receive a copy of my original 13A card from many years back.

Remember my wonderful morning? It’s well in the past, it’s now 1150 at the window of room 312 and I’m told that there will be a delay until 1400 as they were out of ink for their printer (Yes singular, meaning the entire staff of 15 human beings are using one out of ink unit)

The very pleasant lady suggested we go to lunch, and return at 1345 when the ink supply should be replenished. Still smiling and still in a great mood we went to lunch.

Yes Mars I did enjoy lunch! Upon my return the ink was restocked, yet I was back to square one with my request as no action had been taken while we were at lunch. Twenty minutes later I’m off and running to window 35, after waiting in line behind 16 people, I’m informed that my application (Which was given to me by that same office one week prior) was no longer valid and would I fill out the new one? What am I going to say; “Hell NO!” Of course not so I dutifully filled it out and back in line and when it was my turn all she said was; “Go to Window 32.”

Please Wait behind 10 people and agents attempting to front the line, now I’m there and the lady looks at me as if I had an extra nose and stated loudly; “Sir you must go to Window 33 to get the payment paperwork, before you can pay.”

To see if I understood I said; “So you’re telling me that first I go to window 35, to be sent to Window 32, and then to be informed that it should be at Window 33 prior to window 32?

There were people around me that heard my retaliation to her comment and they just started laughing and quite a few people behind the window also. Please remember that my vocal level was at the same tone as hers was and that I was smiling pleasantly the entire time. I thanked her and left. I could have received a round of applause, but those people still had to deal with that lady and choose not to anger her further.

I turned to my most wonderful wife and she looked at me with her adoring eyes and I said; “I think we’re done for the day. Since I had (And as she well knew) reached my Popeye Factor: Which is; “That’s all’s I’s can’s stands and I won’t stand’s no more!” I knew I’d be coming back to Manila again in a week or two to continue my quest of the elusive ACR I-Card!

Now for the plus side: I had a wonderful morning, my passport was done and correct, I did have a nice lunch, and I had four weeks before the card really expired! All was good in my world, and by the time Efrin (My driver) and the van got to the front of the building to pick us up, I was joking and in a good mood once more and encountered no Euro-Gnomes.

This re-adjusted attitude was important for one reason and one reason only! One should never consume adult beverages when angry, and I was the proud owner of a cooler full of well iced SMB’s for my trip home. It’s a wonderful life in the Philippines!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Senior,
    Sounds like your getting the altimate Circle Jerk and and they just love the fact that they are pulling the strings. By the way did you get the article I sent you?
    Anyway two trips down and one more cooler of SMB to go this last one might be a celebration on mission accomplished.
    I enjoy the LIP articles they make me scratch my head and say to myself am I really ready to go through all that again as I did in the 80’s. Heck yea I am as long as I have my Asawa and my trusty sidekick Senior SMB it’s all good in the Philippines. 🙂

  2. I liked your humor and patience in dealing with the Filipino bureaucracy. Still you chose to live in the PI and that is admirable. Someday we can all have a beer or two with my loving hubby who is very American like you and intends to settle in the island of my birth. I will keep in touch.

    • Sampaguitajax;
      I was blessed with the Patience’s of Job, but when I reach my Popeye Factor I’m wise enough to make my exit. I have never given anyone the satisfaction of letting them get to me, that would be letting them win.
      A cold beer with your husband and you? Now that sounds like a plan with merit!

  3. Bruce;
    The e-mail you sent was blank.
    The beer helped me relax on the trip home, and my new son-in-law joined in and tipped a few with me. It has gotten better since the 80’s, but somethings still remain the same. Please Wait, and long lines are still the norm.

  4. hey popeye, isn’t it more fun in Philippine..lol….Please let me laught at it,,,,ha Philippines my only Philippines….

    Maybe Paul you can explain from one of my past experience: In 2009 i want to extend my canadian passport so i went with a filipina to the bureau in manilla and when we arrive in front of the door with the taxi cab, a man open the taxi cab door and start to talk tagalog, and sit in the front and then we go,,,i was worried i have no idea what is going on, so the guy said it is too many people inside so we will go somewhere else it should be faster but i trusted because the filipina was with me. 5 or 10 minutes after we arrived in front of a big building, walked inside almost no light and far inside we arrived at a small bureau, i payed the guy i think the same price he took my passport and left adn about 30 minutes he is back with my passport and my extention corrected…i still don’t know what happened this time but this time when i left the Philippines after the i past the ticket comptoir with japan airline the guard came pick me up and just make a copy of my passport and thanks me……and i went back in the country two more times and always been fine…

    P.s: nest time you go, try this old saleman trick, first bring her flowers and tell her she is the most important here because only her can really help you…anyway cot nothing to try..

    good luck nest time and plse enjoy your life…

  5. Renay;
    To extend a visa you really don’t need to go to the main BOI office, they have many sub-stations around town and out on the Islands that can do that. Unless your name is Paul. (lol) I pleased it went so smooth for you, so long as the guy that jumped in the cab wasn’t that Euro Gnome I encountered two weeks ago!

  6. I have intention to stay there 5 top 6 months a year but we will stay on mindanao island, the closest big city is Ozamis…so my question is, can i have all my papers done when is time to do it at Ozamis or somewhere else..

    Paul Plse never stop to write, you make our day (evening ) to me and my wife…

    Try the flowers tricl next time but don’t forget to change your title from:Please Wait, But Stop To Smell the Roses to: Please wait, but stop to buy the Roses…

    cheers

    • Renay;
      Check with Bob Martin or one of the folks that live down south, I really can’t answer that question. But I’m sure they know where the office is that is close to Ozamis. If I took flowers to the girl at the BOI I’d soon be looking for a new place to rest my head, as my wife would never understand that. We do live in the Philippines!

  7. Is it possible to hire a lawyer or someone to stand in proxy for this experience? I did that in 1984, in Reno, when we were pursuing a fiance visa. The beauracrats’ demeanor and professionalism were truly inspiring when dealing with an immigration attorney.

  9. Mike;
    I brought a lawyer with me 10 years ago and deemed him useless, but then he was a lawyer! He spent all of my time talking with his batch-mates from school while I took car of what needed to be done. But to answer your question; “I just don’t know!” Hopefully one of our readers will know more about that.

  10. Did you see the in ground Jail cell pits at Intramors? Sam said that when they used to get a very high tide it would drown all the prisoners. Wonder how long window 32 would have lasted back then?

    • Loren;
      The guide is trying to tell me all about the thickness of the walls and such, I explained that San Juan Puerto Rico has the same type of fort build by the same company. I would dedicate one year of my life and sit in Manila to watch Window 32 go under water. But then I’d miss lunch at Texas Joe’s.

  12. Finally the sequel Paul, I’m gonna wait for the third installment though I dunno if it’s gonna be the final one. This is fun Paul like a tele-novela on tv. Looking at the BOI building, I wonder if all of its windows are numbered? I’m sure that lady was trying to piss you off so you can ask her is she knows a fixer hahahaha…BTW, nice pics of Intramuros, that park was where I used to stroll during my college days 🙂

  14. Paul,

    Sounds like another productive trip to Manila. Really all you can do is smile and drink some cold ones. Maybe you should have tipped a few on the way up to Manila, even though it was O dark thirty. You would have been feeling good going into BOI lol. Glad the rest of your trip was enjoyable. Thanks so much for sharing the photos and providing the usual Monday chuckle. Will try to visit Intramuros in Oct if not too busy. Be safe

  15. Thanks for sharing your experiences Paul. I find it interesting that neither Bob nor you were able to renew their ACR card in one day. I guess that’s why John Miele encounters so many foreigners with a jaded perspective of the Philippines.

    Is it true that more than half the foreigners who move to the Philippines leave within five years?

    • David;
      I’ve seen a few people who could not ever adjust to living here, but the problem is with them not the Philippines. The good far out shines the bad, keep your sense of humor and all will go well for anybody. I don’t know if half is a correct figure as I’ve not seen that. Maybe Bob would know more.

  16. One printer and it is out of ink and will take several hours to replenish the ink ( cartridge ? ) . This reminds me of the time I wanted to get a cash advance from the only bank in Iligan City that was able to do this for me. At that time my USA issued ( name brand ) card would not work in any of the ATMs in that city. At least there are 2 ATM’s that it worked in on my last visit. I go into the bank, fortunately a friend was with me and that got me around some of the lines in there. I was told the only card swipe machine they had was out of order and it would be 2 days before someone from Manila came to repair it.

    This really sounded totally absurd to me, sending someone from Manila to replace a pre-programmable, plug in card swipe terminal ? I really thought the bank thought I was just another dumb foreigner. Like you reaching your Popeye limit Paul, I knew if I didn’t voluntarily remove myself from that bank, if I started to say anything they probably would have had the bank security guards escort me out of the place. Why pay the cost of having someone go all the way from Manila just to change a plug in little box. Couldn’t it be overnighted or otherwise sent by private carrier ( equivalent to UPS or Fedex, I forget the name of the one that is there at the monent ).

    After my return home, I asked Bob Martin about this and he commented that most likely what the bank was telling me was true and they were not making it up.

    Well, your mention of the fact that you will have to come back in a few hours because their one and only printer is out of ink bears similarity to my card swipe incident at a bank.

    Your ” B I Experience ” item here Paul is starting to sound like a soap opera, please continue I can’t wait to read what happens next. Sounds like a real numbers game with all of those windows. I wonder what could happen if you use those numbers for a lottery ticket ?

    If or should I say when, or the next time I get the ” Please Wait ” routine on one of my visits, your article is going to instantly be recalled in my mind and I could very easily just break out in an uncontrollable laughter. Thanks for writing it.

    • Hi Bob;
      Thank you for pointing out it doesn’t happen to just me. I did laugh about the printer at lunch. I mentioned before about my experience with the empty ATM that accepted my type of card, and it would be re-filled when the girl with the key came back from vacation.
      The reader you spoke of might not have been replaced, but repaired, and they might be waiting on the service guy on the Victory Liner from Manila. Things move at their own speed and their own way here in the land of not quite right. But it is more fun in the Philippines.

  17. Turn lemons into lemonade. Looks like you brought a keg full of lemonade for this trip. Hee Hee!

    We took the Intramuros horse drawn buggy tour. It was a fun jaunt seeing the area. Our tour guide and I had plenty in common as we are both from the same city in California. Small world!

    Tried hailing a taxi there during rush hour. Good luck! Drink plenty of lemonade! 🙂

    • Opus;
      When life gives you lemons, find the person responsible and squirt lemon juice in their eye!
      And as to your advice about drinking lemonade, did you know that SMB now comes in Apple and Lemon flavor? It’s true, but so far I’ve given it a pass, leave beer along, don’t mess with perfection!

  18. Oh no, more “Please Waits”?, i could have choke that person behind the window if it was me. I admire you and your patience Mr. Paul, hats off. I guess when you live in my country that virtue is a MUST. I don’t know if my husband can handle these situations on his own when we finally retire there in the near future. I wish him/us luck. I’m up for the challenge but not quite ready yet, when i do, i will think about this article of yours :). Till the next saga……

  19. Vanessa;
    There was a time in my life when I would go off like a Tasmanian Devil, I found it hurt me more that it hurt the person I was angry with. It was my blood pressure that went up, it was my hand that got hurt on that non-offensive wall, that I later had to repair. So back after I got shed of my first wife I decided that no human-being would ever effect me like that again, and turned to humor to vent my frustration. I could teach a class on that and make money. It’s worked for over 40 years and I feel better for it. But the beer really helps!

  20. Paul,
    You scurvy old sea dog, you totally enjoyed going to BOI and just didn’t know it. A few years back in the 70’s and 80’s when I was “stationed dito” nothing thrilled me more than having to go a local office for some type of “tax stamp” (4 to 5 different ones usually from different offices) or the “certified true copy” needing six different authorizations.

    So after five to six different windows with each person needing 10 different stamps or 30 copies of said document, and three 3 days of running in circles, I knew a sharp jab in the eye with a BBQ stick or getting run over by a jeepney would be less painfull and easier to resolve. Needless to say, the lovely asawa handled those matters after my said joyfull max cluster pluck experience. I feel your pain mate, and excluding the totally unorganization of dealing with the gov offices there, SMG products and the beautiful country do take away the pain kinda like a magic elixer. Be safe mate!!

    • John;
      I went to city hall to in Olongapo to pay a traffic ticket; the guy was scribing my new ticket into this huge book after 3 windows to get to him. He asked if I ever had a ticket before and then I saw the huge pile of books behind him, that were just like the one he was entering my ticket in, and I said; “No sir!” knowing they could never find my past 5 parking tickets in that pile. Even if they are on a computer now, I know that they have never transcribed those books into it. Went and had an ice cold SMB, and remembered that the fine was the same as buying 5 beers in a bar.

  21. Paul,
    What ever happened to the “Double Express Premium Plan?” I thouhgt it was supposed to help things move faster. I guess not. BTW thanks for your sense of humor in everything that you do. I am learning a lot from you and the other writters here on LiP. My wife and I will be retiring in the RP in a few years. This is the best website that I have found for very good and reliable information. I have finally read all of the articles in the archives and am up-to-date.

    In 16 more days the CO and I will be visiting Maasin Southern Leyte for a whole month. Can’t wait to experience all the fun and excitment. I’m sure that it is going to be fantastic. I will always remember your words — Humor is the best medicine along with a cold SMG.

    Greg in RI

    • Greg;
      The Double Express Premium Plan expired as soon as I received my re-stamped passport. Now I was moving to a new section and working on my ACR I-Card renewal. But do I wish they had the express plan for that I’d pay P5,000.00 to never go back there.
      Enjoy your vacation and enjoy those fresh ice cold SMB’s. I might joke about what it’s like to live here, and it is all true, but I would live no place else!

    • Mark;
      That is a good option, I just don’t want to go through the yearly hassle of leaving the country for a day every year. I think it is cheaper and easier to go through the hassle every five years. To each his own, there is no wrong or right to it.

  24. Sure glad I can go to the field office in Tagbilaran, walk in, process everything and walk out… For a tourist visa extension it takes around 30 min total…. then I am off to the house for St. George and Coke as I am not much of a beer drinker

    • Mike:
      Most town of any size have that field office and they provide a great and quick service to tourists. But for the big stuff that a Caribou of a different color. Saint George or Saint Miguel, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or drinker.

  25. Hi Paul!

    There’s really a lot of “noynoying” going on when it comes to dealing with situations like this- its everywhere! I don’t think it will ever change. 🙁 You need tons of patience to get you thru the day.

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