For years, I would try to speak to Filipinos in English, because that was the only language that I knew. I mean, English is a “second official language” of the Philippines, and almost all Filipinos can speak English, right? Funny thing was, though, that many times I found it difficult to have a meaningful conversation with many Filipinos in English.
I could always tell that many of these Filipinos I was trying to speak with could speak English, but they were embarrassed to speak with me in English. Sometimes I would ask them why they won’t speak with me in English. I would almost always hear the same response: “I’m shy, Sir” or “I’m ashamed, my English is not good.” My response to this would always be the same, I’d tell them that their English was certainly much better than my Bisaya or Tagalog! That was certainly true, too, because I actually could not speak Bisaya or Tagalog.
In the past two years that I have been learning the language, as I learned more and more, enough to actually be conversational in the language, I started learning what people meant, or how they felt when they told me this. I learned about it and understood it because although I could speak enough Bisaya to hold a nice conversation, I felt shy or embarrassed. I mean, what if I didn’t speak perfectly? It would be embarrassing, I might be ashamed! Maybe they would laugh at me, after all! How could I ever put my new language skills to work?
Well, one thing I learned about this whole thing was that when you learn a new language, it takes time to become comfortable with using it.
Honestly, I don’t know if I ever got to the point where I could say in my mind that I was comfortable. What happened, though, was that I came to a point where I didn’t care if I made mistakes! I looked at it as an opportunity to practice, but also to learn more by having people correct me! So, I decided to start speaking Bisaya a lot more. This was a few months ago. I guess I decided this back when I went to Cebu in May of this year. It was a perfect opportunity to speak the language, and I thought I better go for it.
Now, whenever I am out around town, I try to speak Bisaya almost exclusively. Also, I find ways of getting Bisaya practice online too. I especially like to post things on Facebook in Bisaya. Whenever I post a message or a status report in Bisaya on Facebook, there are always tons of people who respond to me, and engage in conversation with me. Hey, I am not always perfect in my use of the language, and sometimes there are people who correct me, or point out errors that I made. But, now, I don’t feel embarrassed when I make such errors. I just say thank you, and make a mental note of the error I made, trying to avoid doing that again in the future. Truth is that I’ve had a lot of fun using Bisaya on Facebook, and I’ve made a lot of new friends on Facebook by doing that. Also, whenever I am out and about in the City, I find it fun to use the local language to interact with people.
So, by learning a new language, though, it has given me a new appreciation for how Filipinos feel about speaking in English to a native English speaker. It is not something that is easy to get over. I do feel, though, that when you are learning a language, you get to a point where you just say “what the heck, I’m gonna go for it!’
I’m glad I’ve reached that point!
I know exactly what they mean, and you mean about being shy. While traveling through Mexico I was shy to use my grade school Spanish. I also found that after a couple of cervesas It was easier for me to think in Spanish although limited, than translating in my brain before I spoke.
I think when you come to the point where your inhibition is gone, because your desire is stronger to communicate. That it begins to fall in place. I see in Melanie although her English is proper,a nd very good. At times she struggles to express herself to her own satisfaction. Where when she is with other Filipinos at a gathering she never stumbles, but is quite fluid……i2f
HI Bob!
Or after two minutes in a conversation in English you hear….NOSE BLEED!!! hahahah
Hi John – I am still working on getting beyond that "translate it in your brain" step. On some stuff I can speak without doing the mental translation, but for more complex things, I have to still use that step.
Hi Jason – 🙂
In my extremly limited Taglog, and I do mean bad. As soon as I try to speak they switch to english. And I can't say I don't blame them. I was good in Spanish years ago when I lived in Pureto Rico, as I ran a club and many of my customers were locals. But with all things time will take it away. At 62 the gray matter just won't accept any more input, somewhat like my hard drive when the memory is full. But I found that if a person understands a joke, they can understand anything, since a joke is a great test of shyness. But Bob you're right, keep trying if you want to spesk it!
Hi Paul – I have been studying Bisaya for about 2 years now. I have a tutor who comes to my house and gives me lessons every week. She is a very good teacher. I enjoy being able to speak the local tongue, it makes like more fulfilling here, I think.
Years ago while helping my youngest Girl with her High School English I found many errors made by her teacher. I went to the school to speak with her, and found that while teaching English, she could not speak it. Why was I not surprised? I'm glad you have a tutor for I know that will help you in your quest! My friends only teach the "BAD Words" to me.
Hi Bob – I get some chuckles from the group when I try my Ilocano, but the cheer is more centered around, "Hey, this is a Kano trying to speak with us in our language," than anything else.
The hesitation and self-doubt are still there as my vocabulary is poorly inadequate, but I'm trying. Guess I can't learn too much in just a couple of weeks' worth of immersion lessons. 😉
Hi Paul – Ha ha… I have had that experience with my kids on some of their lessons in school. The teachers don't always know the subjects they are teaching! Oh well…
Learning the bad words is always the first step in learning a language! Isn't it funny how that works? I am good on all of those! Don't have to do that mental translation on any of the bad words! Of course, I've known all of them for nearly 20 years already!
Hi Paul – Ha ha… you've only been here a short time. A couple years from now, there will be no holding you back!
Hi Bob – The folks around us are happy that I'm making the attempt. One told me of a German fellow and another American fellow living not far from us whom they don't like at all. Reason? They refuse to talk to us, even in English or German. Just no speaking at all.
Appears I'm odd man out 😉 – I get plenty of talk; just wish I understood most of it ❗
Hi Paul – Amazingly, I know a number of foreigners who will come right out and tell me that they have no interest in mingling with Filipinos. My thought is always – "why live here then?"
Hi Bob, as we've said before–it's best to just dive in! Filipinos are very appreciative and also relieved to be able to converse in their language with you at whatever level you're at. After a while people that you come into contact with expect you to be speaking their language, and that's a confidence boost.
One thing I find though, is that if I'm sitting socializing in a group, I have to pay close attention, as I always get asked for input or a response to their story or joke. I don't mind, but I feel I have to stay alert to what is being said, so that I can stay involved and engaged. Even though it takes practice and willingness, it's so much more fun than being out of the loop and just hoping to rely on just English.
Hi Queenie – I fully agree! I remember when I was totally out of the loop, left out of the conversation because I could not understand. It's a much better feeling when you are part of the conversation!
Kamusta ka Bob,
I know what you are saying about being shy about using it the language at first, even sitting here right now typing this message, I am surrounded by friends here, speaking Spanish. I understand every other word very good, and I can throw my limited use of the Spanish language in now, but before, I was very shy to use it. For one thing the pronunciations are so different, and I still can't roll my "rr's"..lol. But I have confidence in speaking it now with friends and family here.
I imagine, once I get enough bisaya under my belt, I will be a shy to use it at first also, till I feel more confident with myself, but we shall see.
Is very funny, that you wrote this, Rose's english is very very good. But her brothers is also very good, but he is very shy to use it with me, as well as his parents english, but theres is limited for now.
I look forward to learning and using bisaya there, and I know alot will not agree with me, but if you are to live there for a number of years, I think it is necessary to learn. Out of respect for the country you are living in…ingatz!!
Salamat kaayo,
Danny 🙂
Hi Bob,
My say about us filipinos who don't want to speak English even though we know how and even better at it is because we have a hard time understanding the question. One of the main reason for that is because of the accent. Foreigners have different accents and worst, you guys speak fast and we cannot make out the words that is coming out of your mouth. I can relate to that because I am adopting the accent of Canada now because of living here for 20 years. When I speak to my relatives back home they can't understand me and the funny thing is that my kids laugh at me sometimes when I mixed up my Pinay accent. I thought I am really good with my accent but still my Pinay backgroud re-surface from time to time. Still my "eh!!!" is pretty good. The best thing to do is say one word at a time or try to shorten the sentence. Example:"More water please" instead of "Can I have some more water please". Add some accent to that and speak fast…we are totally lost.
Kamust ka Melba,
I think we can all relate to that, my Spanish is limited, but I do understand a lot of it. But when my friends here start speaking too fast, I get lost. I have to tell them to slow down, slow down. When Rose speaks to me in bisaya, or when I am chatting with her, she will turn to a friend and speak in bisaya, she says things so fast, I can't understand the words she is putting together..so is the same for me. Just like when we talk too fast in english for you. Just ask us to slow down a little bit, and that will be a big help to you..it is for me when I ask my friends to slow down with there Spanish….ingatz!!
Salamat kaayo,
Danny 🙂
:-)That makes you the life of the party,Qeeniebee. Each stories swapped are punctuated w/ "what do you think, Queeniebee?" LOL.
Hi Melba,
I have been over here in Austria for 8 years now, but when talking English that "eh?" still comes out. Distinctly Canadian! 🙂
Hi Bob,
My first two years in Austria I hardly spoke German at all. Now, one of my neighbours is Romanian and can speak German also, so our common language when together is German. And now, like you, I tend to speak without translating in my head – it just comes naturally – never too late to teach an old dog new trick´s, eh? 🙂
Oh Roy, such is the life of the queen bee!
Don't worry Danny, you'll find that nobody will make fun of you, and everyone will be pleased with your attempts and progress as you go along. I can say that from experience.
Bob
Its good to hear that you are going to speak the language and if you screw up fine and chalk it up to learning.
The Filipino/a way has mindset has carried over to me unfortunately, I am sure many Americans living with Filipina's here in the US are faced with the same.
I am constantly exposed to Tagalog/Bisaya and I try to concentrate on Tagalog. If I try to use some of my(limited) Tagalog skills I often screw up and am corrected by the wife. If I use my Tagalog when I am around my Wife's Filipina friends and screw up I turn out to be the laughing stock of the gathering. So I a American choose the Filipino way and just grab a Beer and slide out of the gathering and the conversation.
Then I just say to myself, the hell with learning the Language I will learn it when I move to the RP. Its the lazy way out but it saves face and embarassement.
Hi Danny – You have the right attitude, and I am sure that you will learn the language when you get here (heck, you are already picking it up and have never been here!). Keep it up.
Hi Melba – Feyma and I lived in Washington State, not that far from Canada (British Columbia). We always get a kick out of the "eh" thing, as we had a lot of interaction with Canadians. It's a charming way of speaking that we enjoy hearing.
Hi roy – when you are a foreigner and can speak the local language, you are automatically the life of the party! You get all the attention!
Hi John – I'm with you. I don't believe when people say that they are too old to learn a language. I firmly believe that it comes down to desire and a good teacher! Saying "I can't" is the lazy way out, in my opinion.
Hi Neal – I personally feel that it would be practically impossible to learn the language while still in the States. You need a good linguist as a teacher, not a lay person like a wife or friend. That's just my opinion, and what has worked for me.
True Bob, but my red hair does give me an extra advantage over all you guys! LOL
Hi Bob,
Danny has seen me some bisayan lessons that I print out an carry with me (daghan salamat Danny). I will study the vocabulary while I am walking the treadmill at the gym. Later (mamaya gabi), I will practice what I learn when I am talking to Juramie on Skype. There are mistakes such as when I point at my noise and say "ilok" but we always have a good laugh. I get a nice "ang galing mo" from the attempt. There are also mistakes with the meanings of the words on the printout. I said something today and she started laughing really hard because the word had a totally different meaning. The important thing is the effort in trying. I hope someday to have a nice conversation with family and friends when I am visiting Tagbubunga Leyte. Juramie and her friends are always laughing and it will be fun to surprise some of them on my next visit.
Salamat,
Jack
ah it is impossible to learn cebuano from my wife, she has no patience for teaching me, i really do think she doesn't want me to be able to speak it i told her if we retire to cebu i will become very functional in bisaya ! i told her i hate watching tv in tagalog because i cant understand the program.it gives me a headache to listen to something and not understand whats being said! i believe a foreigner has to hire a language instructor (expert) trying to learn from a spouse is a bad idea!my wife speaks English but it still has a lot to be desired in the way of correct grammar, i really don't understand how English is the 2nd official language of the Philippines and it is the mode of instruction in most schools and all private schools and colleges and university's but some how not all educated Filipinos can use english that well.
Bob,
I really admire the effort you put in learning our dialect. I could even say that i'm proud the fact that you are enjoying it as well, and already passed the embarrassment stage lol. Bravo Bob!
I had one mistake (that I caught)in the post. I was pointing at my nose (ilong).
Thanks,
Jack
Kamusta ka Jack,
Is very good to see you on here now, you will definitely learn a lot from visiting and participating on this website. Lots of nice friendly people here too. Be sure to check out Bebe's articles on speaking bisaya..there great. Welcome aboard!!!
Bob, this is my friend Jack, when I was visiting up in Maryland a few weeks ago, Jack was nice enough to invite me to his favorite Filipino restaurant near his house there in Maryland. He was a very great host and the staff at the restaurant was awesome, and the food..so so good.
Salamat kaayo,
Danny 🙂
Hi Mike,
When I make an effort in learning the language, I get help from Juramie. It actually becomes fun. If I didn't make the effort, I think I would be in a similar situation because Juramie is still learning English and gets confused with teaching me the tagalog or bisayan. Learning a new language is hard and you have to start with baby steps. (You didn't start out walking when you were a baby.) The tagalog is easier because of published books. I plan on getting Rosetta Stone so I can understand the tagalog shows such as Wowowee and the drama with JR and Dave. Because of TV and movies, most everyone in the visayan region knows tagalog. Keep trying. I am and I am building a stronger relationship with Juramie.
Palarin ka sana,
Jack
Hi Danny,
Mabuti namon ako. Ikaw?
Oo. I saw Bebe postings and I am looking forward to learning from her.
Salamat kaayo,
Jack
allow me to continue with the compliments heaped here, bob. i do admire your wanting to immerse yourself in the language & culture. you already know more than a few filipinos about what makes their culture tick. keep at it.
in a way, i see what you mean about learning your host countries language. i cannot go into full conversation, but learning spanish has helped me feel more welcomed by the locals.
Kumusta ka, Jack? Maayo kaayo ang imong pagkugi! Congrats!
Hi mike – Feyma really wanted me to learn the language, but she could not teach me. Why? Because she is not a language teacher! Teaching a language is not easy to do, and you have to put the building blocks in place in the proper order. I am 100% with you that the only effective way of learning the language is by hiring a competent language teacher!
Thank you, Vanessa.
Hi jack – way blema! OK lang!
Hi Danny – Cool! OK, now I owe you a cup of coffee for bringing in some new blood on LiP!
Hi Jack – You don't have to speak the language to understand Wowowee. When those dancing girls come out on stage, your eyes will translate everything you need to know! 😯
Thank you, macky. Well, I don't think I am an expert about the culture, truth is that it is just something that I enjoy thinking about and trying to understand. Most of what I know I learned from Bebe too.
Hello Bob,
As you say English is second language of most the Pilippines, except where there is not Kano or tourist population. That is where I have settled. ( Bebe I need you NOW ) But instead for me instead, there are enough that someone always finds interpeter for me. I am only Kano here in Isabel. I certainly have not come in contact with all 35,000, but In Isabel Proper they now call out " Hi Andy " instead of hi joe. Talk about feeling welcomed and needing so bad to speak Bisaya. Oh no malls here so I have spent most time just walking to all little stores and markets. I am going to be so glad to talk in bisaya and I have learned that slow talk is not rude, but being polite. Even Merlin and family tell me to slow down a bit or get nephew who is college teach to interpet. I so hard in ind some times to slow down because I was disc jockey on radio for 5 years. hehe Sometimes in America friends would tell me to slow down. Nephews friend and english teacher at college has already offered to help me so I think in year or so I will be ok.
Hi Andy – Hang in there! You will learn the language if you have a true desire.
good going Bob… with out mistakes you will never learn ..and baside it is all fun so just laugh when every one else laughs..they all are having fun talking to you ..I do … Phil n Jess
Hi Bob, As part of of our on-going taking care of paperwork, we drove to thePhilippine Consulate’s “on the road” pilot office in Manchester NH this past weekend to register our US marriage in the Philippine Consulate, as Dave Starr strongly suggests in his PHILFAQS.
Anyway, my main point is, it was fun to meet and talk Bisaya with a lot of the Filipina wives that had also come for various reasons. There were so many from the Visayas and Mindanao!
It was touching to me that although we were all from Cebu, Leyte, CDO, Davao and Surigao, everyone strongly identified with all being “Bisaya” We were all bound by that common language, and got a thrill out of communicating together!
I thought that you could relate, would get a kick out of hearing that…
Hi Queenie – That sounds like a great time! You know, AmericanLola, who also speaks Cebuano has told me about times when she ran across Filipinos in the States and how fun it was to speak Cebuano with them. I know that the language issue helped you form a bond with those Filipinos at the Consulate! What a great time! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Bob, I can sure agree with AmericanLola about that! What was special this time though, is that there were so many, and the happy acknowledging in that we were all “Bisaya” was so strong and important to many wives that might have been missing their hometowns and families in the Philippines. They didn’t want to talk about themselves personally, but to just revel in chatting in the common language. So sweet and touching… We did meet and become friends with a young Cebuano nurse who was originally from our town in Cebu, but in a farther barangay! Small world! Her husband was also a nurse and from Davao and very nice.
Don’t ya just luv it?
I do, queenie! I’m glad that you had a nice time!