On Monday of this week, I wrote an article about being a Ninong. The events I wrote about in that article occurred at a party that Feyma and I attended. As I mentioned in that article, there was something else that happened at that party which I wanted to write about as well. Today, I’d like to tell you about that.
Let me give you some background first.
Back in 2010, Feyma and I were told about four young High School students who quite poor. The poverty of these individuals caused the four girls to not have any food for lunch at the school that they were attending. In fact, the only thing that they had each day for lunch was water. When the story was told to me about these four girls, it really touched me, and Feyma too. We decided to sponsor these girls as part of our annual Christmas Drive, and pay for their school lunches for the rest of the school year. At the time when we first met these girls, we also told them that if possible, we would help them find jobs during summer break so that they could earn extra money. You can read about the events that caused us to meet these girls, and our initial meeting with them in my archived article, Giveaway Part 2 – Students in Need.
We really enjoyed helping these girls, and we had them over to our house on multiple occasions to have dinner, meet with our family, and generally bond with them. It was rewarding for us to do this, it enriched our lives, and we hoped that the girls felt the same way.
After School was out for the summer, I was unable to find jobs for any of the girls, but I did hold true to my word, and we offered employment to each of the girls working in our house, doing various odd jobs so that they could earn money. There was a bit of a dispute with one of the girls, unfortunately, when her parents did not want her to come over to our house any longer. We accepted it, there was really nothing we could do, but we felt bad that it turned out that way, because we hoped to be able to influence the girl in a positive way and lead her to a better life in the future where she could earn decent money and provide for herself. I wrote about that in an article entitled – A debt of gratitude – Really? – take a moment to read that article if you like, I’ll wait here while you are gone! 🙂
Well, we had not seen any of those girls for several years, although we do hear about them from time to time, through mutual friends.
A surprise at the party
When we arrived at the birthday party last weekend, we were told that one of the girls, Rizavie would be the Master of Ceremonies at the party. I was excited to see her. I always liked Rizavie, she had spunk, and confidence, which I liked a lot. I felt that she was a “go getter” and that if any of the girls would succeed in life, it would be Riza. It was not long after we arrived at the party that Rizavie showed up! When she saw us, her eyes lit up and a big smile came to her face. It really touched me, and when she came over, we gave each other a big hug and said hello. It was really nice to see her again. I have to say, I was pretty impressed with the way Rizavie handled herself as the Master of Ceremonies at the party too. She was not shy at all, she took ahold of a microphone and was really in charge of the events! I felt a bit proud watching her, almost in a fatherly way, hoping that our association with Rizavie had helped her with the type of confidence that she was displaying. In addition to Rizavie, after 30 minutes or so, her mother showed up, and was very friendly with us as well. It was nice to talk with the mother and catch up with her. I learned that the mother had been working abroad, in the Middle East, and would soon be going back to continue her work. I was happy to hear that she had found work to help support the family.
I stepped outside at the party for a while, and when I was outside, I saw Rizavie’s father. He was also very kind and came and talked to me, shook my hand and expressed his gratitude for the help that we extended to Rizavie when she was still in High School. It was nice to see him as well.
Another surprise
A bit later in the party, another girl showed up. It was another of the girls that we had sponsored several years ago, Apple.
Feyma and I saw Apple when she first came in, but we were unsure if she saw us or not. She did not acknowledge us in any way, so we thought that she may have missed seeing us.
A bit later, when much of the birthday activity had subsided and it was time for everybody to eat, though, Apple came over to talk to us. I was glad that she did. She came and said hi to Feyma and I, then she started talking with me. Feyma was already engaged in conversation with some other people. Apple started thanking me for the help she had been given, and it didn’t take long, she started crying. I am not ashamed to admit, I was very near tears myself. It was quite an emotional conversation.
Staying in School
In talking with the two girls, I was so glad to learn that both of the girls are in College and are doing well with their respective studies. They both seemed very dedicated to their studies, and both have a bright future.
In talking with Rizavie, I learned that she is currently studying at University of Mindanao (UM) and is studying to be a teacher.
Apple also told me about her current studies. She is more than a year in to a two year course and is doing well. She is studying for an Associate’s Degree at ACLC college. She will be graduating early next year, so that is coming up real quick!
I was so proud of both Rizavie and Apple, and learning about their progress only made me more proud of their accomplishments!
The other girls
There were a total of 4 girls that we had sponsored in 2010, and we saw only two of them at the party. I did ask about the other two, though, and was happy to hear that each of them is also still in school (college) and doing well. I hope we will get an opportunity to see the others in the future as well!
Great Party
So, between this article and the one I wrote on Monday, I am sure that you can see that it was quite an eventful party for us last Saturday. It was, in fact, a real highlight for us and we enjoyed it a lot. Seeing the two girls that I described in this article really made us happy and brought back some nice memories! I am so happy that we attended, and thankful for the invitation!
Great article, Bob! The poverty there can be so overwhelming and it is really gratifying to be able to help in some way.
That is so true, Kevin.
Bob,
It really does give you a warm feeling inside when you have done something that has helped shape the future of of a young person. Sometimes just a little helping hand can make all the difference. Hopefully in the future they will be able to do the same and give assistance to someone in need.
Seeing the results of our efforts was very fulfilling.
It is encouraging to see the young ladies expressing gratitude. I have often seen, and fail to understand, how often the ones you help with education, health issues, etc.. show no gratitude, and sometimes cause you grief. It is always good to feel appreciated.
Bill Clinton said ” there is very little difference between selfless and selfish” . It is good for our soul to help others, it is a great feeling.
You are so right on that. Doing good things for others is very fulfilling and a great feeling.
Bob,
That was a very touching experience. Thanks for sharing it with us. Those girls you and Feyma helped will lead them to help others in the future. I can’t imagine how emotional that reunion was.
God Bless all of you!
Bill
Thanks, Bill, if those girls pay it forward, nothing would make me happier.
Read your post Bob! not just ingratitute there but also here amongst pinay, most are “USERS” here, I stay away from them! Really makes me wonder if I want to move to the Philippines!
Hi Heinz Schirmaier, there are some who are not grateful, but I would disagree that ‘most’ are like that.
Not saying MOST THERE my friend, just saying MOST who came over to the USA, at least the ones I know!
Yeah, I just don’t think it is most, just a few. 🙂
True Bob! maybe I just found the ones who give Pinay a bad reputation!
You know, Heinz, I was just talking with a fellow expat friend, we were talking about how some real loser type expats make all foreigners here look bad, so it does work both ways.
Bob, that case of the mother not sending back her daughter to your house (summer job) was not a case of ingratitude, that was parent protectiveness.
Most families still has the angelus rule, all children must be at home by the time the 6pm church bells for angelus rings. Thats the time where every one do the “mano po” to their elders.
Perhaps, Al. It’s all water under the bridge now, though. I don’t really worry about it.
I think the topic of gratitude is largely besides the point. The act of kindness on Bob’s part – be it sponsoring someone or giving to charity – is a reward in itself. He is giving someone the opportunity to better their lives – even if they aren’t big enough at the time to appear grateful. Some might only feel gratitude many years later.
In my mind, the only difference between giving to the grateful and to the ungrateful is how I choose to view it. If I’m unhappy with the ingrate, I have no business giving in the first place. We aren’t truly giving if we feel we deserve something in return now are we?
Hi John, those are good thoughts that you shared. Good perspective. Thanks for sharing.
we reap as we sow. good on you both. good things come to good people
Thank you so much, Paul.
Hi Bob – Great you have sponsored so many people in education. Have you ever sponsored guys or just girls?. Your actions will have played a critical role in assisting these girls for long term success in life.
Hi Brenton, we sponsored these four girls because they were recommended by a very close friend. We have done other things for boys too, but this particular thing was just girls.
My experience with as a ninong has been a blessing to me as I watch these two children grow up. I am glad it has been this way. I enjoy seeing the photos when the small boxes arrive in the mail for special occasions. It is often a stuffed animal or outfit for their special occasion with a toy; nothing big but they enjoy it.
It could be that I had a good solid relationship with the parents before they were born. Only one time was anything ever asked for and it was a true medical emergency that I helped with. I would have been happy to give it to them as it was under $50 but they made it a point of pride to pay back the money, (giving it to my daughter’s mama) exactly as they have promised and it never happened since.
Hi LeRoy – Thanks for sharing that, it’s nice to know, and it sounds like a great relationship!