Is it possible to reinvent yourself? I mean can you become a person totally different than who you are? It won’t necessarily be an easy thing to do, but I believe that it can be done. In some respects I have done it myself.
When you move halfway around the world to a totally different country, it is the perfect chance to reinvent the person you are. If you have some kind of bad habits, or things about yourself that you don’t like, why not take the opportunity to eliminate those things from your lifestyle in your new home? I mean, it is the perfect opportunity to do so, no doubt about it.
When you arrive in your new homeland, nobody knows those things about you and your past that you wish to change, so they can’t prejudge you based on the things they know about you in the past.
In my case, I really didn’t have any really bad things that I was running away from when I came to the Philippines, although I know some people who have done that. I am aware of people who have come here running from a criminal past, or running from debts that they owed from their home country. I had debts before coming to live here, but I paid them all off before making the move. I personally feel that I’d have trouble living a quiet and peaceful life and knowning that people were chasing after me for one reason or another. But, there are other things that I left behind when I left the States.
What kind of reinvention of myself did I undergo? Well, when I left the States, and during my time here in the Philippines I have tried to become a better person, I’ve tried to be more responsible, and also to reinvent myself in other ways. One of the things that I changed about myself is making myself into a successful businessman. Although I have always had a very entrepreneurial spirit and mind, I never really had a chance to go into business for myself in the past. This was largely due to the fact that starting a business of almost any kind is expensive to do in the States. When I came here, though, to live, I did so with the attitude that I was going to succeed in business, and I have done so, and done it in multiple businesses.
So, if you come here as a different person that you were before, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are running away from anything bad, it can also mean that you have simply resolved to make yourself a better person than you were in the past.
I recommend that if you plan to move to and live in the Philippines, why not examine your life carefully and make a conscience decision to change who you are? Why not come here as a better version of the person who you are now? I feel that I have done this in many respects, and am still striving to complete my own reinvention of myself. How about you?
Since moving here, I have reinventerd myself into a living God. Everywhere I go I am held in high esteem. People call me sir, watch after my vehicle, labor for me, smile during my presence, massage me and give me sexual favors for a mere pittance and make me feel like I belong. I treat my new people good. I give them respect and honor them with my presence. I am thinking about opening up a retreat in the jungle and calling it steventown.
All kidding and sickness aside you really hit it on the head. this is a great place to make improvements in yourself. But youhave to want to. There are really only two routes I see here anyway. Improve or get worse than you were. I don't think anyone can really remain the same. At first I got worse now I am getting better. It is easier here to become a better person once you let go of past bad habits. I am on the road to recovery each day another step…….
morning bob,
i'm sure you meant reinventing yourself in a positive way. it is appaling to read the first comment.
Bob: Reinventing yourself is good… for the right reasons.
I know Steven was joking in his comment, but I have also met many foreigners who have really believed his words. (Read about the "White Rajah" in Sarawak to learn about a guy who made Steven's dream come true!)
In a past life, when I worked in the Bahamas, I met a man there who was running from the IRS. He had established a business in Nassau (a successful fast food franchise), and was unable to return to the States for his father's funeral, due to the arrest warrants for the taxes. Yes he was living the "good life" in the Bahamas, yet he was personally miserable from the choices he made.
off the topic –but where is telaingod davao del norte
Hi Bob,,
Running away is never a good solution,things mysteriously have a way of catching up with you eventually,and there are many examples.It will become increasingly more difficult within the next 10yrs.Microchip passports in the near future will have information linked to social security and criminal records bureau's,the world is becoming a much smaller place.
US and Euro govts are now in the process of blocking loopholes for tax havens.They believe the avoidance of tax by the rich, places an unneccessary tax burden on the masses of honest workers.The US has recently reclaimed $400 million from USB (swiss bank) in unpaid tax on swiss accounts.In addition they have requested names and details of US citizens accounts.Presently the swiss bank is refusing to give details.
The current economic crisis will pave the way for some radical changes in future
Sorry i drifted off topic slightly.
Yes we can reinvent ourselves.Sometimes we may not like who or what we have become and need to change for the better.
Personally, i have reinvented myself twice in my lifetime, for the better.
It takes courage,determination,discipline and perseverance.
I have to confess i am now the best and happiest person i have ever been in my life.As with most people i made many mistakes along the way.
We become who we are by association.We become like the people we hang out with.Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from bad influences.
For those not happy with their lives or who they are,re invent and change.
Start tomorrow.
Needless to say, when i retire to Phils i will have to partially reinvent myself again.
regards Chas.
Maayong Buntag Bob
Would getting accustom to Filipino time be a form of reinventing myself? If it is then I have already reinvented myself just be being married to a Filipina. 😉 All jokes aside one of the things I love about the Philippines is they always have time to engage in a conversation there.
This is a good thought provokler, Bob. It correlates really well with some of the articles I have been writing on my PhilFAQS blog, about making yourself a different person by working for yourself rather than giving up your whole life for wage slavery.
Actually, many people really don't care for those articles, they'd rather read about the price of hamburger meat, but I'll probably still keep writing a lot in that veain, becuase it's important to me.
I never really thought much about the question if I have or should 'reinvent' myself, but one thing I have done that feels good … instead of a senior citizen worrying about bills and medicare and health insurance prices and the latest bad news about Medicare.
I now am now 100% debt free and as financially self-sufficient as one can be, given a world that could turn upside down. I was hating what I saw whenever I was with my peers back in the US …old men worrying about the future, here my heart an dmind at least are many years younger.
Bob,
I agree, but as you and I have seen here, some have reinvented themselves into people they never were at home. That is way I caution about people moving here to be cautious of people, Filipino and Foreigner alike,
Hi Bob,
This topic could not be more timely.
I am in the middle of creating my first blog on this very subject,"How to become a better person" unfortunately i will not be launching it until june/july as i will be visiting Bukidnon April/May for 6/7 weeks (hope we can meet up).
Some years ago when i lived/worked in the city of Manchester UK,i had the great fortune to befriend an elderly gentleman.Jack was the epitomy of a true British gentleman.He was a retired British Diplomat/Ambassador who had spent many years in China.His wife was a niece of Chiang Kai-Shek the founding father of modern day Taiwan.
Jack was vastly knowledgeable,never had a bad word to say about anyone, rich but hugely modest.He was looked up to and greatly admired by all who had the privilege to have met him.
Jack became my inspiration and mentor for my second reinvention of my life.He was truly an excellent mentor in life.
Hope you enjoyed my little story,regards Chas.
Hi Bob!
The comment that Bruce made is very true. I am seeing the result first hand. Here where I live is a grizzly old man that went to the Philippines, got married to a Filipina 35 yrs younger than him, trickled her into believing he was rich, then brought her to the US pregnant to live in his shack. It turns out that he was living the high life on credit cards and now his wages as a factory worker are being garnished. The sad thing is the Filipina was willing to marry this nasty old man to escape poverty but will experience poverty anyway. I have always been pretty honest about who I am mainly because I don't want to have to keep up with too many lies. ha ha! kidding. When I was introduced to Marie I was very careful to be completely truthful. No stress that way.
Hello Bob,
As I've said before my plans are to move there someday because I like what the Ph. has to offer. Sure, everybody has to reinvent themselves to some degree alright when moving so far away in a different culture. My thinking is, how easy does a person want to make it? I say you should have a good attitude, go there with no debt and clean record for less stress, a residual income from home, an open mind, being patient, and try to be smart on your decisions.
I don't have anything that I would be running from I just want to find a place like you and the others here that seem to be very happy to live. I want a place where everybody lives a slower life and where people will appreciate you more. The Philippines really sounds like a place that I would love. ( Down to Earth and living simple ) So I'm saying that reinventing yourself may not be so hard if you are motivated to do it . ( I Would Like To Reinvent Myself !! )
What John Miele said about the guy running from the IRS to the Bahamas kind of puzzled me because I figured these days one would not be able to leave their own country in this situation and if they did they could tract you down. What do you think?
Thanks, Dale
HI Tom – I would have to say good for the old man. Don't feel sorry for that girl in anyway. You seriously think it was about love. Please. She was in it for the money plain and simple and she got played. If it is about love then she should not care about his shack. The good news is she only needs to stay this way for three years and she can get her citizenship and leave the bum. Generally, it is the other way around with the filipina playing all the games and all about money. I have seen it happen dozens of times. They lie, cheat and steal. A good friend of mine with a very good heart and truly kind got severly screwed over by a gal. He brought her to the states and then she started to reveal her true self.
I like this site but there is a hidden part about the Philippines that Bob should also cover more in order to show another true side of this place. The world behind the plywood homes. The world of abuse, molestation, drunkedness, drug abuse, the decit the girls play. The numbers games on friendster, yahoo, etc….
I am surprised that Filipinos smile at all. And if you want to know the truth this sort of situation exists on a very large scale with foreigners as well beating on their nieve gf's or wives. It ain't no panacea here. Many foreignres who come here are bums that can't afford life back home and they bring their problems here with them. Change. Hmmmmmmm. I seriously doubt it.
Bob makes a point of trying to better yourself here. Unfortunately, in many ways you must become more secretive and decitful in hiding things from the women in your life here or get taken. Now of course this doesn't apply to most but many yes.
Bob, John M, Klaus and many other here consider yourself very fortunate.
Hi Bob
I have thought about that for years, for me I want to live a simpler life were family values are high, and becuase the philippines province isnt caught up in all the technolagy I find myself less stressed out more relxed, exuse the spelling
Thanks
James
Steven: I do consider myself fortunate, but the rules are the same everywhere, regardless of location. Rebecca and I met in a very traditional manner… Dating, etc… the whole bit. We happened to live in the same place and we met like any other couple. There are gold diggers everywhere, and I have known many guys who got burned in the States, with just as many women being unlucky. The risks are the same.
Many people have entered into marriages here, and it is a myth that women here are only after money. They have the same feelings, hopes, and dreams as anyone else. Becky cries, feels happy, and gets angry just like anyone else. People can and do fall in love, whether online, in person, or over the phone… It is what makes us human. Perhaps I've just been exposed to it more travelling around Asia as much as I have, but I truly feel sorry for most of the women who get burned. I've been to one too many KTV joints and bars in my time to not see this type of abuse. More often than not, the Western men are usually far better educated and can easily take advantage of women here, particularly when you factor in common 20+ year age differences into the mix.
and i eat Durian. too Bob
Hello All:
I see that allot of ex-pats did indeed made a decision to reinvent them self before they left there homeland. That might have been a conscious decision or maybe a unconscious decision. Ether way for most of us I believe it has been to the better. I for my self started a new family at the ripe young age of 50. Now I have 3 beautiful little girls and the prettiest and nicest women in the world. My stress level has come way down unless I watch to much Fox news. lol. So i suppose that I have reinvented myself to the betterment of those around me. If I can only learn not to speak my mind in public. (don't want to get deported) hahaha.. That gives me something to work at for now.
On a side note, I would like to thank all of you for allowing me to read about your thoughts on things. I hope to meet some of you one of these days. And maybe even drink a cup of cat poop….
Bob: After reading Steven's comment, first thing I did was give her a big hug!
Thanks Bob.. believe me you I have gotton allot better at just listening. But know I talk back to the TV LOL and yes I always win.
John I concur with you but I personally see it here front and center more than anywhere else I have traveled. But, i certainly defer to you as I respect your opinions on this subject perhaps more than others as your travels afford you to see so many cultures in this light. I too am fortunate to be crazy in love with Lynn and not a day goes by we don't laugh or feel great about being together.
Its a real Bob and Steven show here. Bob writes about the positive side of living here while Steven exposes the seedy side of being here.
Problem is what Steven talks about is true, just presented in a twisted sense.Nice balance boys.
Re-inventing myself ? Nah, love myself as I am. But falling into bad habits like spitting, urinating in the streets, getting drunk and smoking all the time and singing at ungodly hours are actions that I am trying to get out of my game.
Pete.. What can I say, your comments made me laugh so hard I had to open another beer. thanks for the good humor.
Oh ,,your bad habits are will known. I believe must of us have gone down that trail a time or two..
Pete why would you want to give up all those quality traits that if I may say " Make you oh so Filipino" LOL and therefore you have adapted well to your environment. All that's left is learning to speak Visaya and low and behold you can learn that right here on the LIP site.
Yes it is your site and you are the boss with the final say but I have to say in the best of tones that it is extremely hypocritical and un-democratic of you. We are discussing in a polite, gentlemanly way and it does help to be able to present both sides. Once you start to pick and choose what posts you may like or not and you stand to lose credibility. Can you imagine we both live in a country where there is literally NO freedom of speech. Yes yo ucan say and write what you want but true on not often times you will face libel and slander complaints. I truly hope Bob you haven't made yourself that at home here where you embrace such un-democratic principles. Thanks for listening
Hey Bob, belated happy birthday. You don't know how amazed I was seeing this entry. I am actually planning to relocate and start my life all over again. Not that I hate my personality, but as you've said it's the perfect opportunity to do so without having other people asking you about the change and continually reminding you about your old self.
Now why was i shocked? Well I always read self-help articles and I feel that I've not changed anything so far even though it'll be just a few weeks before my relocation. And so I decided to go online and check self-help articles about life change. But then, I remembered i haven't visited your site for a few days so I decided to check this site first. Voila!
Hitting two birds at one stone, eh? 😉
Hello Bob, I like this one. Moving to a new country can feel that way. IMO, you can run away from the law, from debt and from a bitter past…but not from yourself. Maybe those who don't like themselves when they get here can learn to like themselves better after a while…
Belated happy birthday! Pisces like me – good people. :o)
Are you guys at it again . 🙂 . Oh well I guess someone has to do it 🙂 ..
I changed when i was in the Philippines
I changed my clothes
I changed my outlook on life when I was there,
I changed my way of looking at people , different cultures need different types of thinking .So I quit thinking after I meet my girlfriend ..worked pretty good for me . 🙂 . so now I will have to think in a different way when I move there I will be the head of the house ummmm maybe I will just let her do it be easier for me .. ..Oh Bob your spouse is changing with you too . for her it is a new way of life too ….. " Hey , Steven " hang in there i enjoy your articles too 🙂 . " It's all fun in the sun folks " .. Phil n Jess
Oh Bob i changed my way of eating too ,,, dried fish an rice for breakfast ..wow only in the Philippines i thought so I ate my breakfast .. Phil n Jess
Hi Steven,
Sad to hear about your friend. I doubt that he is blameless in what happened. Most of trouble that I see here in the states with American and Filipina relationships is because the man is very insecure. Usually he is quite a bit older and has had some failed marriages. When he gets his young model wife here he becomes afraid that she will find another man that is younger and more successful. Some become paranoid and try to isolate their wife so they can't conspire against them. I have seen some couples where I would think wow this girl's life must have been pretty bad for her to marry this guy! My wife thought it was funny but mean when I would play spot the pedaphile game in Manila. I saw an old guy on oxygen with black socks and sandals, walking with the most beautiful filipina in the mall. She appeared to be about twenty but was sporting the school girl look and was carrying a teddy bear. I recieved bonus points for that one! I notice the disapproval of Filipinos when they see things like that. I hope that someday your life in the Philippines will inspire you to have nice things to say. I personally love the Philippines with all it's imperfections. Spending some time in the US has made my wife appreciate our home in the Philippines even more.
great post bob….
Hi again Bob. I am just going off topic here for a sec because i don't think many people will read this comment being at the back end.
If you truly want your readers to get a balanced picture of life here, both sides of the story should be presented, tastefully I guess.
But like your contributor said " your the Boss of this site " and I respect that also.
And still off topic…
Two things were brought up tonight and sadly but true Steven mentioned the freedom of speech and another contributor mentioned he talks to the TV and wins.
I have learned to be a "bit" more diplomatic in my expose of the Pines and more so in recent times. It is obvious why. The truth is a bitter pill to swallow, don't like the taste of it myself.
Okay lets get down to what I am trying to say.
Living in the Pines without a partner is NOT the same as living with one.
Meaning to say?
My fiance god love her, has her own version of freedom of speech and justice
1) She can talk but I cannot.
2) She is the Boss
3) I am always guilty ( of whatever )
Scenario Filippina Spanish inquisition……….. ACT 1
Finace : " Your wrong, admit it……"
Me : " The Earth is round love, like I explained it and proved to you "
Fiance : " Your guilty, your not telling the truth lagee"
Me : " Babe please look at the satellite pictures !! "
Fiance : " Your lying !!! Tell me your lying, tell now bah "
Where by now, I am in a state of Torture and i give in. ACT 2
Me : "Yes babe, I am sorry, your right the earth is flat.
Fiance : " See, See I told you were wrong oi.
Fiance : " See, ( finger pointing ) I knew you were guilty …..
Gotta go my fiance is calling me lol
Congratulations on your business success there in the Philippines Bob, but i expect you were otherwise pretty much the ok guy to start with.
Just guessing. = )
hello bob,
i guess i started this article in the wrong footing. i am a filipina and i take offense greatly to foreigners who take advantage of my people. I want to let you know that whether you guys realize it or not, when you come to my country, generally you are already perceived as 'kings' to be bowed down to. even the most well meaning, well-intentioned 'white folks' whom i've worked with before, they have succombed themselves unintentionally to this kind of lifestyle – Kings and Queens of the Philippines, maids and boys, at their bidding.
i don't feel that way coming to the states. i feel the opposite. i am a minority here.
Hi Bob
I don't know if you can really re-invent yourself. You can change, definitely. That's part of learning and growing. But, you are who you are. It has been my experience that people to have bad habits can change their habits. People who are "bad" people stay bad people. Running to a new country will not change that.
As for relationships, I have meet scamers of all sides. Older guys who have scamed younger women, younger women who have scamed older guys, Filipino guys who have scamed women (they have a wife in the Phlippines) and even Filipino women who have married Flipino guys and not shown their true intentions until they get their magic landed immigration status. I feel most people get scamed because they kid themselves.
But, this is not a Filipino thing. I think it just stands out more because generally the white guy, regardless of age, can be considered a prize in the Philippines. By their standards, he is rich and has that magic ticket out. Also, in the Philippines, it is not unusual for a women to date an older man.
The guys who go to the Philippines to "Be King" I feel miss out on the best part of the Philippines.People like that are tolerated, not liked. Who would want to live in a place were no one liked you? If you can not go out, sit around with your neighbors, share a cold beer and a joke, what'is the point of being there?
Do people in the Philippines treat me different because I am from Canada? Probably, but there is nothing I can do about that other than to treat everyone the same as I treat people here.
Hi Bob, Filipinos many times (or mostly) treat foreigners like kings (and queens). But that's not the point, while I AM LIVING HERE. Yes, I didn't like to change myself to a completely different person – but I DID REINVENT myself during the last years – and, I am not yet finished. One important thing is: I tried to avoid scammers and never ending whining expats. I try to adopt a little bit of Filipino lifestyle while I never forget my own identity. I am sure, you know what I mean!
Anyway, great and important article for expats and those, who plan to be so.
i'm not an expat living in the philippines, but i did recently move to a new country (mexico) and playing with my identity a bit.
i now go by a different name in some circles ("mariano" my given name & conveniently spanish sounding). i'm also growing out my hair after over a decade of sporting a #2 buzz. the fact that my wife & i may be the only filipino couple in the city allows us to be unique & playful with how we live.
it's fun & can be invigorating. there's no deception involved here either.
Hi Pete, that's big of you to "sound diplomatic" in the Philippines since you think there's no freedom of speech there.