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Socialization

Adjustment, Language Learning / by

Yesterday, Thursday, I had a little lesson in socialization.  Instead of my normal Bisaya language lesson, Bebe (my teacher) and I took a trip to the Bankerohan Public Market in Davao for a little social interaction with some local folks.  It all started last week during my normal langauge class when Bebe and I somehow got into a conversation about Filipino snacks.  She was telling me how she enjoys the snacks at the Public Market, and I suggested that maybe for our next class we should go visit the Market and have a snack together.

During our conversation, Bebe set some ground rules for such a visit.

  1. We were not to drive a car to the market.  We could only go if we were to ride a tricycle.
  2. I was not allowed to speak English during the trip, only Bisaya.

Well, I was agreeable to this, so yesterday, we took the trip yesterday.

Bebe showed up at my house at 3pm, and we caught a tricycle from my house to the market.  I guess that is about one kilometer and a half or so.  Bankerohan, I believe, is the largest public market in Davao, it covers several square blocks.   During the ride to the market, I had a nice conversation with the Tricycle Driver, Joshua.  He told me that he was 23 years old, married with two kids.  He emphasized to me that he and his wife decided to stop with two kids, because life would be easier if they didn’t have too large a family, especially on a driver’s wages.  Good choice!

At the market, we went around to a number of stalls, selling all kinds of goods.  We would stop at these booths, and Bebe would ask me the names of the different products in Bisaya.  I knew almost all of them.  I can only recall one product that I could not name.  I knew that it was called “Ampalaya” (bitter melon) in English, but didn’t know the Bisaya name, so Bebe had to tell me.  I had to talk with vendors, ask prices of products, even negotiate a little bit – all in Bisaya of course.  It was fun to meet the vendors, and have some small talk with them.

After our trip around the market, we were getting hungry (and thirsty), so we went to the area of the market where they had little snack shops.  These places were like little eateries with bar stools all around the outside.  We sat down and ordered.  We each had Putomaya, a sweet rice snack, and cup of tsokolate (hot chocolate – Filipino style).  It was quite good.  After only a few seconds, we started conversing with a man sitting next to us.  His name was Jun, and he worked for the City Mayor’s Office.  Nice guy, and he really got a kick out of it that I could speak Bisaya.  He asked if I could also speak Tagalog, but I just laughed and said no.  Anyway, the conversation with Jun must have gone on for a half hour or so, covering all kinds of topics, and yes, it was nearly all in Bisaya.  A couple of times I had to use a little English for things that I just had no idea how to say, but that was not the norm.

Off and on during my conversation with Bebe and Jun, the girls working in the eatery would talk with me too.  It was interesting to see them at first, when they realized that I could speak Bisaya, their eyes were just glowing, and they listened to the conversation intently.  I really had a lot of fun.  When I spoke with these girls (ranged in age from around 18 to 25 or so), they all started asking me if I was married.  Yes.. I am, I told them.  Next question – “do you have any friends who are looking for a wife?”  Ha ha… I got a kick out of these girls, they were fun to talk with also.

After enjoying our snack, and finishing up my conversation with Jun, I decided to pay our bill.  Because of his kindness, I bought Jun’s snacks too, and even purchased an extra ten pieces of putomaya to bring home for Feyma and the kids.  Even paying for 3 people, and ten extra snacks to bring home, the total bill was P131, very inexpensive!  Bebe and I hopped on a tricycle and headed back to my house.  I really had a lot of fun on my little market adventure, and talking with these folks in Bisaya seemed so natural once I got started.

As I explained in an article earlier this week, when we were in GenSan at the wedding, I finally was able to make a family conection with many in Feyma’s family because of my newly acquired language skills.  Again, during this trip to the market, I changed from being the foreigner visiting the market to just a regular guy.  Honestly, I never felt like I was being treated differently from the other people there.  The people at the market at first, I am sure, thought of me as “the foreigner” but their guards went down when they heard me speaking Bisaya, and they treated me no differently than the others there.  It was quite a unique feeling, something that I had not experienced on previous market visits!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Morning Bob,
    I really am impressed. At first I was unsure of your language choice but it does look like you made the right decision. If you are going to stay in Davao and not move to another place in the Philippines then it makes even more sense. I am quite academically capable but I really don't know how I would go learning a foreign language. I'm sure I would find it the most difficult thing to do. In regards to the prices, I thought fruits and meals were not cheap when I was there. Even roadside fruit stalls seemed "expensive" to me when I looked at the prices and what the locals earn? Next time though, Bob, please pass my contact details onto those girls in the market!

  2. Hi AussieLee- I can't imagine that I would ever move out from Davao, but if I did, I would most certainly want to stay in Mindanao, and if for some reason I had to leave Mindanao, I would settle somewhere in the Visayas, so Bisaya will serve my needs.

    I used to think that learning a language would be very difficult, but in my experience, I don't find it too difficult at all.

  3. Naimbag a bigat (Maayong buntag), Bob 😉

    When in Rome, . . . (oh, that would be "Salvē!" in Latin!) 😆

  4. Hi Paul- You had me a little worried when I first started reading your comment… I didn't understand it at all! 😆

    Maayong buntag pud. Kumusta?

  5. Sounds like you're doing real good. I think it's a good idea getting out and interacting with the locals as this will help reinforce all your language lessons.

    I'm gonna contact Bebe soon to get my lessons going again. I've been reviewing my first ten lessons and vocabulary the last few weeks. I really miss Davao and our summer there.

    Take care,
    Kevin

  6. Nasayaatak met, pagyamanak, ket sika?
    (Ako maayo, salamat, ug ikaw?)
    [ Valeō! Et tū? ]

    or, simply, Mabuti!

    We're coming close to my cultural limits! 😆

  8. Well, I have to say that I am SO proud of you!!!! I read this column and the other one about your wedding trip to GenSan, grinning ear to ear! So few people make the effort to learn the local language and it is too bad because the pay off is so big, as you have found.

    I, too, love being able to speak Bisaya, talking to people, setting them at ease and learning on a different level. I am sure Feyma's family is the envy of the neighborhood. Not only has Feyma married an American who is nice, but one who has even learned their language! You can be sure it is a hot topic of conversation!

  9. Hi Bob,

    It really makes the world of difference when you speak the other person's language. It changes everything.

    I remember on one of my first jobs I had after graduating, I was temporarily assigned to work with a French-Canadian guy in another department. He didn't like me and kept calling me names in French. He didn't realize I spoke fairly fluent French at that time and I knew quite a few good French swear words too.
    So after calling each other all the worst names we could think of in French for ten minutes we both just broke down and started laughing our heads off till we were in tears. After that we became the best of friends. I was the only other person in the office that spoke French.

    Regarding your previous post as to which Filipino language to learn. My wife and her family speak Surigaonon. However they speak Cebuano as their second language. The problem with Surigaonon is that it is only spoken in the North-eastern tip of Mindanao. My wife and I are most interested in staying in either Mindanao, Cebu or Negros Oriental. These areas all speak Cebuano or a variation of it. Therefore I've decided to start learning Cebuano November 1st of this year and hopefully by next year I'll be able to have a casual conversation in Cebuano too!

  10. Hi Kevin- Bebe is looking forward to hearing from you, so don't hesitate. That's one thing about Bebe, she says that if she doesn't hear from a student for a while, she doesn't contact them. She feels like when they are ready to learn again, they will contact her. She feels like pressuring somebody to start learning again when they are not ready won't be productive for them.

    I hope that all is going well for you and your family!

  13. Hi AmericanLola- Thank you so much. Honestly, I am not being patronizing, but I have to tell you that you were a major influence on me deciding to get busy and learn the language. Hearing you and Ed converse with Feyma made me feel jealous, and also made me feel that I had been lazy, so I got busy. I appreciate your push, even if you didn't realize that you were pushing me! 😆

    I hope that all is going well for you. We miss you guys!

  14. Hi Randall Jessup- You are so right, learning a language (especially when you live in another country) makes a huge difference in the life you will lead.

    I agree about Surigaonon, it is spoken in such a small area, that it probably wouldn't be the right one for a foreigner like us to learn. With your selection of the possible areas where you might want to live, there is no doubt that Bisaya (Cebuano) is the right way to go. I wish you the very best of luck!

  15. Well, in Pilipino, "Mabuti" is a response to "Kumusta?" ("Fine" or "I'm doing well").

    According to the "Urban Dictionary," however, "Mabuti" is a claim to possession of one's lover's backside; as in "Her buti may be big, but it's mabuti!" 😆

  16. Hi Paul- Yeah, I was just joking with you when I acted like I didn't know what "mabuti" meant, because in Bisaya the response would be "Maayo man" or "Maayo kaayo" – something like that. Or, just "OK lang." 😉

    I'm not even going to get into the booty thing… 😆 ❗

  17. Bob,

    This is a great article thanks for sharing it with us.

    I'm learning a little visayan but not with the determination that you are. But I can from time to time speak with my girlfriend for a few minutes in visayan only. thank god she understand me when I screw up LOL.

    Also I was thinking about the wedding story that you told.

    You and I both know that the Filipino people appreciate it when Kano takes the time, and even cares, to learn their language. Also many Filipino's that I met could speak english but didn't out of fear of messing up and being jokingly embarrassed by their friend and family.

    After 8 years i'm sure you know who this applies to and who it doesn't. But it's a thought for your readers to remember as well.

    Congrats on your new found skills…

    Don

  18. Hi Don- Yes, you are right that a lot of Filipinos who know how to speak English are shy, or afraid to do so. I must say, though, that I was like that with Bisaya myself. I have overcome the shyness or fear of speaking Bisaya in front of Bisaya speakers, but it is a hard hurdle to overcome.

    Good luck to you! I hope that you continue to learn more!

  19. I commented yesterday (I think) that I think you're effort in the language is awesome. One thing I'd like to comment on, since it's in your article, is the transportation in RP. The common person, as well as those better off, including tourists, have abundant choices in transportation, both around town and longer distances – at affordable prices.

    Keep up the good work Bob – you're a roll model for all us monolingual wannabes 8)

  21. Hi Gary- It is very true on transportation. You can choose what transportation you want based on budget, comfort, speed… just about any criteria that you might like.

    Regarding language… sometimes I feel like I probably write about it too much, and some people are probably bored that similar subjects get so much coverage. However, right now it is a big part of my life, and I write about my life, so this subject gets a lot of coverage at this particular time. I know that you didn't say this, but your comment just brought the thought to my mind.

    Take care, Gary!

  23. I'm glad you write about your life – I've mentioned before that I would have trouble being so public. I'm also glad that you are progressing in your language skills, and therefore writing about it because it is encouraging for me – much like AmericanLola was for you – now I'm jealous…

  24. Hi Gary- Thanks, I'm glad to hear that. I do try to mix up my subject matter to keep everybody interested, but sometimes you just have a certain topic that you want to write about, and it gets repetitive, subject wise! I do credit AmericanLola with nudging me toward learning the language, and I thank her for that! If I can play even a small role in helping you get started, I'd be honored!

  25. Gettin' started has never been my problem, unfortunately gettin' sidetracked (or just plain laziness) ain't a problem of mine either 😉

  26. Hi Bob,

    Keep pushing the language bit. It is worth it to learn a new language. Over here in Europe a lot of people are trilingual. I know I've enjoyed life more since I can now speak German along with my native English and a smattering of half-remembered high school French. My wife is Hungarian and the neighbour is Romanian. So much to learn!

  29. I am proud of you, Bob! Your experience reminds me of my son, trying to speak tagalog to the market vendors here in Marinduque, the last time he was here. However, because of his accent, they could barely understand him,. Have you mastered the local accent ? (that is very unique from each locality in the Philippines).?

    I was born in Iloilo and speak fluent Ilonggo or Hiligaynon. However, If I travel to the central towns in Iloilo the accent is a little different.

    In Marinduque, they speak tagalog with totally different accent than the tagalog spoken in Batangas as an example. There are also words that are spoken only in Mariduque. Anyway, keep up with the good work on your language skills. Congratulations!

  30. Hi Bob,how about you make a CD with a few every day words and short sentences for us dimwits.
    There are many sites with the written word in Bisaya but nothing any good in audio to teach pronunciation.I will be your first customer 🙂

  32. Hi David B Katague- Thank you very much, I appreciate your kindness. I can't say if I am perfect on the accent, I do know that my teacher tels me that my pronunciation is good, and also when I talk to people, they don't seem to have trouble understanding what I say. So far so good! 😆

  35. Maayong Buntag Bob
    I made a recording of Visayan words and phrases and then listened to them over and over again. I was able to learn a lot of words and short phrases but not near enough to converse in Visayan. But my wife was not very proud of me learning Visayan since one of the first words I learned was “pugdali” meaning hurry up. It has been fun learning the language and I am planning to make another recording.

  36. Hi Larry- I like to record vocabulary lessons into the MP3 player on my cellphone, and then listen to it while I go for a walk. It is quite useful in learning the words!

  37. ha ha Larry and others have made an imporant point. My wife _says_ she would like me to learn more tagalog, and in fact she has been very supportive, but when we are driving in the car with her sisters for example, I _know_ they are more comfortable knowing (or believing anyway) I don't know if they are talking about me 😉 (it's _usually_ good things)

    It's a family joke that years ago my mother-in-law and her sisters who all knew Illocano would shift their conversation to that language … even saying some of the words backward … just to confuse the husbands who might be listening in the next room.

    Word to the wise … never let on how much you know 😉

  39. Hey Bob… My wife speaks 3 dialects visaya , bisaya, tagalog .. how can i compete with that ..:) ….i guess i will learn visaya first …Phil R.

  40. Hi Phil R.- I can make things at least 33% easier for you right now… Bisaya and Visaya are just two different spellings of the same thing! 😆 So, now you only need two! 😆

  43. First up, i don't get bored with the discussion about language. Keep it up as it is an important issue. In fact my fiancee and I are concerned that she will lose her japanese and chinese language skillls once she moves here. There are tagalog and waray-waray speakers here so that is not such an issue.

    Luckily i live in a well-known australian tourist town frequented by asian tourists. Maintaining language skills might prove to be a career opportunity too.

    Secondly, i had been debating whether to learn tagalog or waray-waray. My family in tacloban are 'solid waray' speakers. I was leaning toward waray and i am now convinced. Thanks Bob.

  44. Hi bill from oz- Glad to know that this discussion doesn't bore you! Thanks for letting me know that.

    if you fiancee speaks Japanese and Chinese, and your area gets lots of Asian tourists, that is a win-win. I believe that your fiancee (and you) have some real money-making opportunities dealing with these tourists. Her skills must be a valuable asset, I would think. At the very minimum, a great job should be easy to find.