Back in the mid-1960’s, Buck Owens had a hit country music song called “I’ve Got a Tiger by the Tail.” These days, when you mention a “Tiger by the tail” it has a whole new meaning. The world’s best golfer, Tiger Woods is in a rather difficult situation.
Back on November 27, Tiger Woods got into a somewhat minor car crash just coming out of the driveway at his home in Florida. At that point, Tiger’s world began to unravel. As I am sure anybody reading this already knows, revelations began about Tiger being involved with multiple women, despite having a wife and two children.
In addition to his family life, Tiger is also in danger of losing his livelihood as well. He can still play golf, of course, but his main income came not from his golf victories, but from the product endorsements that came with the championship golf that he was playing. Since the November crash, Tigers endorsements have been drying up.
What does this have to do with living in the Philippines? Well, honestly, it is very closely related to living here, if you stop and think it over.
You see, as I have pointed out multiple times on this site, as a foreigner, if you come to live in the Philippines, it is almost like you are a rock star, or a professional golfer, when it comes to women. It is just a fact that a lot of women will make themselves available to you. Many will almost throw themselves at you. Temptation will be part of your life almost daily. Can you live through the temptation?
Many men cannot have that kind of temptation dangled in front of them without falling for it. That is why a lot of marriages fall apart after the couple moves here. I know a lot of expats who lived in the States with the Filipina wife for years, then they decided to move back to the Philippines. A large number of these expats are no longer married, or at least are estranged from their wife because they decided to go for the parade of women who offered themselves, instead of remaining loyal to their wife. Some of these men returned to the USA to get a divorce (since divorce is not an option here in the Philippines), then returned here to play the field. Other men played the field while trying to maintain their marriage as well (this almost always fails). Some men played the field, and just separated from their wife and are still “officially” married, but not living with their wife anymore.
If you are looking to come and enjoy the company of the many young ladies here, hey, who am I to say you are wrong? It is not the lifestyle that I am here for, but if that is what you want, that is your choice. However, if you have a wife, and perhaps children, the odds are that you cannot have both the flings and the family.
In Tiger’s case, I believe that he gained huge wealth and noteriety at such a young age that he did not have the maturity to be able to handle it. Instead, he went for the candy that was being dangled before him. From his actions and words, it seems that he now regrets it. That is a lesson for you to keep in mind. What do you really want? The flings, or the lasting relationship? You should really decide, before you get in trouble and lose the one that you will suddenly realize that you wish you could keep.
I am not saying that either lifestyle is right or wrong. I know which is for me, but we are all different. All I am saying is that when you are used to being just a “regular guy” and you are suddenly a rock star, it can be difficult to maintain clear thinking, and do the thing that you know is right for you.
Hi, Bob- You said exactly what just about everyone is thinking but didn’t have the courage to say it. Back in the States, you’re just an average Joe, women hardly pays any attention to you. In the Philippines, suddenly you’re a hunk, women are throwing themselves at you, everyone is looking up to you like you are the master of the universe. This must be the greatest draw the Philippines has for many foreign western men, not how cheap it is to live in the Philippines. Right?
Hi John – I had never really thought about which is the biggest draws – the women or the cheap living. I guess it would be a combination of the two. I can say, though, and have written a number of articles about this… for a foreigner living here, there are women everywhere you look who are willing to do whatever you want. The temptation is huge. I know few who don’t at least consider giving in to the temptation. It is very difficult, if you are married. If you are single, well, it must be like heaven!
Yes BoB , it,s so .
First time I was in iligan [ 25 years ago ] allready married ,
the woman ” throw ” themselves for my feet.
Later when i visit with my little lovely daughters ,
they came to me asking : make me same beautifull baby .
And on our last holidays in 2007 [ 65 year old ] i still got attention from some woman . And that gives you a cick .
But for me it was allways when i had a girlfriend ,
i was faithfull .
And now 26 years married , i have no regrets .
One more question , coming July-August for holidays in iligan ,
would you say that,s it interesting to visit Zamboanga ?
First we planned to make a stopover somewhere , but that all comes for 300-400 $ for 3 day,s , so i say my wife lets look around
on mindanao and on the way back stay 3 days in Manila .
Even visit Davao ,
What you think about that ?
Gr. Anton
Hi Anton – Oh, I believe you about the girls, I’ve experienced my share as well. “I want to have your baby” is something I have heard more than one time. It’s a strange thing to hear from somebody whom you don’t even know.
I really encourage you to explore Mindanao, it’s a beautiful place, Anton! My recommendation would be to make a trip over land from Iligan to Davao. Going through Bukidnon is one of the most beautiful drives I have ever experienced!
It’s the prevailing Filipino mentality, Bob. You have to be Filipino to understand it. Filipinas who brazenly say such things to expats dream of having “beautiful” babies. Western or mestizo features are preferred over pure Malay features. Just look at the Philippine movies. The emphasis is on the Western look. With a few exception (Sharon Cuneta, Bong Revilla and Christopher de Leon come to mind), Filipino actors and acresses who have pure Malay features are routinely passed over in favor of the tisays and the tisoys.
In Vietnam, Eurasian kids (kids born out of wedlock by American GI fathers and Vietnamese mothers) were ostracized, while in the Philippines, the half-breeds by their physical appearance alone could be a ticket out of a family’s poverty.
Hi John – Yes, it is the attitude here. I don’t believe that you need to be Filipino to understand it. I think I understand it perfectly well. I don’t necessarily agree with it, but I think I understand it.
John – Some of my Filipina neices are very comfortable being brown, some do their best to look white. I tell them how much time and money American women spend at tanning salons trying to look brown. Have you heard the excellent song by Filipino-American jazz vocalist Charmaine Clamor “My Funny Brown Pinay” making fun of those who can’t be content in their own skins? The song is based on “My Funny Valentine.” I ended up buying all Charmaine Clamor’s albums; she is pretty good.
Hi, Peter & Senn- I honestly have never heard of Charmaine Claimor, but I’m sure she’s pretty good if she’s half Pinay. I wish I can say that about the Pinay, Michelle Malkin, who lives in your neighborhood. 🙂
As for the brown Pinays who try to look white, I don’t know how that is possible, except to keep themselves from getting any more darker by wearing umbrellas when they go out in the sun, or swath themselves with scarves that cover the face and neck and wear long sleeves. Or, better yet, why don’t they just pretend to be Muslims and wear burqa? That’d do it. Hahaha
The answer is “Magic Cream,” John! Ask any OFW in the MidEast, they’ll direct you to: http://www.realmagiccream.com/ 😆
(Hope I didn’t detect any disparaging words re: 1st generation American MMM. 😯 )
Yes, I find bleaching skin to be more than a little unsettling. With more emphasis on Pinoy Pride, is there less skin lightening going on in the Philippines nowadays? I would love to see the practice disappear entirely.
John – both my wife and I are fairly conservative, so we usually enjoy reading Michelle Malkin, tho’ most of my leisure time is taken with cooking and jazz.
Hi Bob;
Mr. Wood’s lifestyle all though I might not agree with it is being rehashed over and over again for the media to make money, as they attempt to destroy his career. Down in your neck of the woods you have a famous boxer who seems to follow in Tigers wake in his quest of the ladies. Again I don’t really care, as it’s between them and their wives. Tiger would be smart to move here where there will be less press coverage. Poor guys just don’t seem to have that kind of trouble in their life. Remember what I wrote last week. “If you come home and your wife’s right foot is tapping…..”
Hi Paul – I agree with you 100%. I didn’t bring up Tiger’s escapades to chastise him, but rather to highlight something that men should expect when they come here. Many men are simply not prepared for what will happen when they come here. Like in my case, I had never been a big object of women’s attention in my life. Suddenly, when I came here I was a rock star, and it seemed almost like I could have any woman I desired (that’s an exaggeration, no doubt!), and it’s like a kid in the worlds biggest candy store! Can be difficult to deal with in an intelligent way!
Hello Bob;
When the new kids on a Navy ship asked the old guys about the Philippines, we’d just tell them it was like “Disneyland for Adults” or The “E” Ticket ride referring again back to Disney’s old ticket system of A thru E tickets with the “E” being the best.
Hi Paul – There is only one thing about that… the cost of the E ticket here is much lower than what Disneyland charges. Well, hold on… over the long term, the cost of having multiple ladies… oh, never mind, it is very expensive too! 😯
I wondered how you would handle this topic without more of the silliness that I see in the press. You got it just right.
Hi Tom N – I’m glad that I dealt with the topic in a way that you found reasonable! 😉
Well, I have to say that I believe that there IS a right and wrong on this issue. Of course I blieve in a higher moral law, but I also see that using people, breaking promises and being irresponsible causes long term hurt. What happens to these girls who throw themselves at foreign men? What do they hope to get? What do they actually end up with, by the time they are 40+? Do these men care? No. It is true that these women have chosen to be cheap, but what about their children? It is still the exploitation of the rich (foriegners) of the poor. Exploitation; the using of people, is wrong, even if the women being used don’t seem to mind. Be honorable men. Think about what is best for others, keep your promises, don’t exploit those less fortunate than yourselves. I believe that what goes around comes around.
Hi AmericanLola – I agree that there is a right and wrong. For me, I know what is wrong, and I try to live that way. Other may not look at it that way, though, so I try to understand… it’s not what is for me, though.
ooohhh the temptation, have had a few ask for a “baby” because they love the western mix, I told my wife if she let me sell those services we could do well in the RP….both feet started tapping!!!
PS I heard Tiger Woods lovley wife has told him he has to now change his name…..to Cheetah Woods !!!
Lou Diamond Phillips of the “La Bamba” fame is just one of those half breeds from Olongapo who rose out of poverty to become a success he is.
Hi John – I’ve always liked Lou Diamond Phillips. Great actor!
Hi Brian – I never thought of the economic potential! 😉 Gee, we could be rich!
Cheetah… that’s a good one! Already heard it though!
Gives new meaning to the phrase thinking outside “the box,” doesn’t it?
Gee – My one “Tiger Refuge” (refuge from mention of Tiger’s foible) no longer is. 🙁
Two cents worth:
Right is right, wrong is wrong, regardless of your stripes. I’ve no problem with holding others to this standard, either. As the old saying goes, “If you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.” It happens everywhere in the world with the same regularity – the Sporting World and The Philippines are not unique.
Please deposit an additional two cents to continue. 😉
Hi Paul – Well, you only partially lost your refuge. I would argue that while the subject of the article was Tiger.. it really wasn’t about him at all. 😉
Is that like partially losing my virginity? I’ve heard about that before. 😆
He’s made over one billion dollars by playing a game….I don’t have any sympathy for him.
I was single the first time I came here as a young sailor, and yes it was amazing for a teenager from midwest United States to actually have women talking to him 🙂 But believe it or not that stuff gets really old really quick. I got married here just to escape all that mindless nonesense.
I do feel sorry for Tiger, but only for one reason. Because he achieved the wealth and fame when he was still immature and unable to know how to deal with it properly. Because of that, he made some big mistakes, which I believe he now regrets.
Bob: I feel sorry for Tiger, and David Letterman too… Not because of anything they did, but the fact that the media response has been utterly ridiculous… It truly is no-one else’s business what he has or has not done. Let’s face it… He’s a golfer. His actions impact nobody other than those who invested in his image.
That being said, temptation is all around, but I find that it gets old. Been there, done that, and screwed up one previous marriage because of it. For married guys, it is a real concern, all joking aside. It is also one of the reasons you read so many postings about over protective Filipina wives and girlfriends, since they know what is going on, even if dumb, blind Kano husband does not (Yes, I can be that thick!)
Hi John – I personally feel differently about Tiger and Letterman. In Letterman’s case, he was involved with his employees, which is not only wrong, but illegal. I disagree with Tiger’s actions, but at least these were not employees.
In Tigers case, his actions do impact people other than “those who invested in his image”. His wife and kids come to mind. 😉
Hi Bob,
When I was in Dumaguete earlier this year I went to the Citi Hardware store a couple of times. Here, in Belgium, I would just get the stuff I need, pay, and leave. It would be exceptional for me to have contact with anybody. In the store in Dumaguete there were a lot of assistants, many of them female. They did not just ask me if I found everything I needed, but also the reason why I bought it (it was for our house), where I lived in the Philippines, if I had a Filipino family, etc ; etc. So, the chance you could get involved with a woman in the Philippines is just a lot bigger than here.
Hi Ronny – I agree, people here are very curious and will ask you all kinds of questions like that! 😆
I too have heard rumours about women from the Philippines approaching foreigners both through talking with other people and through reading about it on web sites such as this one.
I have to say that I have been in Davao City for almost two years now and I can honestly say I have never been approached, not even once. I wander all over the city, often on my own,day and night. I sometimes wonder why I never get any attention, in fact no one looks at me twice. I could be because :
A. I will be the first to say that I am not approached because I am terminally, irretrievably, and progressively ugly and have an evil disposition. { I will say this before anyone else does 🙂 }
B. Or what we think is more likely is that when I go anywhere I have some purpose in mind so I am walking in steadfast manner and not loitering about making eye contact. And when I am sitting say having coffee in the mall waiting for my wife or just taking a break I usually have a netbook or a real book with me and am getting on with my work so again am not making eye contact.
Before I came here I was concerned about getting approached by women so I have a little speech in Bisaya ready which unfortunately I have never had the pleasure to use it goes something like this. ” That can never be as I am a priest, take five Hail Marys and go from here and try and mend your ways and be a better person. God is watching you ” 🙂
Regards,
Scott
Hi Scott – I am really shocked that you have never been approached like this. Being totally honest, I have even been propositioned with my wife standing right next to me, which is shocking, to say the least!
I guess I am just lucky or unlucky depending on how you look at it but I can honestly say I have never been approached. It is not a problem either way …
As I said it may be related to the fact that I am either going places with purpose and so not hanging about or I usually have a laptop or whatever with me when in coffee houses or malls. Must be the eye contact thing …
I do get approached by kids with those leaflets trying to solicit money for various causes in the malls though.
It may be possible that some foreigners may unconsciously { or consciously } attract such attentions with their body language … ?
Scott
Hi Scott – It really is interesting. I know a couple of foreigners who tell me this – they have never been approached, but most that I know seem to have this as a regular event.
Hi Bob,
Regarding Tiger,we have seen this type of thing happen so many times before,especially when fame and fortune comes at a young age,to much to soon.
Yes,there is much temptation there,but that Bamboo Telegraph travels at lightening speed,stay single if you want to play.If you are married and play away,it may be more than your wife you lose,it could be your life.
regards Chas.
Hi chas – Ha ha… that bamboo telegraph, or as I call it, the coconut telegraph is always quite busy, don’t you think? 😆 Nothing happens that doesn’t hit the wires!
Bob
My 2 cents, Tiger is a Great Golfer but a Family Man “Not so Much”
Im sure these women make them self very accessable to him but I have read that he did alot of the pursueing of them as well. Maybe it was some kind of thrill/game to him to see how long he could get away with it?
Every year Bob at my Wifes Xmas get together this is validated. A new Filipina lady comes over and she is Young Beautiful,she introduces us to her Husband who is old and Ugly as hell.
Im not one to judge, but they both seem to get what they want,
He-companionship/Her-Security.
Myself, as soon as I relocate to RP I will STOP drinking to EXCESS as
I would hate to make a poor alcohol induced decision and think with my little head.
Hi Neal – For me, I am not against the marriages with big age differences, I find it to be a decision only for those involved. However, I just wonder how often this kind of thing is what is really going on.
This is all too familiar – when I was employed here 1988 – 1992 as new staff arrive from Europe I told them to get their wives or girlfriends to Manila ASAP or the relationship would be put under great pressure.To a man they told me that there would not be a problem but many of them later had to beg forgiveness!We all know the attractions of the Filipina – they still have the femininity that most western women have lost.There is a confusion among western women between being feminine and being equal – they dont realise that the two things are not related
Hi Bryan G – Yes indeed… I can’t even imagine the pressures being married, but staying here without your wife.
Hi Bob, brilliant approach to this topic, and a lot of great posts in response also. I think the ‘inclined to be jealous’ reputation of the Filipina is put in perspective here, and without anyone being condemned as plain bad.
Hi Jonaky – Thanks, my friend.
It’s great to be single, again! As a black man, I may not get the attention of my white counterparts. Still, I would say any foreigner wouldn’t have a problem with the ladies.
(Incidentially, the “skin tax” works against us too). I think once it’s known you are an american, the price usually goes up in some cases.
When I first came to visit in 1986, I went to meet a filipina friend of a female soldier that I had recently met .
One of her office mates dominated our conversation. We really hit it off. I kept asking if she was married and she would always say no. Finally, after becoming interested in her, she admitted that indeed she was married. What was that about?
Now, that I am past 50, my priorities have changed. High on my list after the spiritual aspect is to insure that my future family is well taken care of after I’m gone.
I am not blind as filipinas are the most beautiful, caring and loving women in the world (in my opinion). Knowing that I have the best at home waiting for me, I will resist the temptations.
Otherwise, I will remain single until such a time as this.
As far as Tiger, wher was the papparazzi before the accident?
Hi Ed – Ha ha.. interesting about that girl keeping on insisting she is single, but turned out to be married! She almost got you!
Hi Bob,
Has anyone else experienced this? Juramie and I were at Gaisano in Ormoc. I notice that the female staff would stare at Juramie. When I would notice them doing this, there eyes would look down at the floor. A western friend noticed the same thing with his asawa.
I know this is tagalog but I keep telling Juramie this. “Ikaw lang ang gusto ko, wala ng iba pa.” Your girlfriend or asawa deserves to hear that she is the only person you want to be with.
Thank you,
Jack
Hi, Jack- You deserve a well-rounded applause for being the perfect husband for your Juramie. She is very lucky to have you, not because you are a foreigner, but a noble human being. Well said.
Hi Jack – I also have seen many people like that staring at Feyma over the years!
Hi Jack,
Yes,i have noticed this,mostly in the provinces where you see less foriegners.
I tend to put it down to envy.
In the eyes of many filipina’s, if they see another has a foreign bf/husband,the’ve made it in life.
The filipina partner of a foreigner sometimes appears to be treated with greater respect,but not always.
Just my observations in the provinces.
regards Chas.
Very amusing article Bob, and quite pointed.
I am married for many years to the same lovely woman from Illocos; we have five children and sixteen grandchildren and it has been a wonderful journey. Even now, after all these years the wife’s antennae picks up signals that I find are very very faint at best. Sometimes I joke with her that she would be better served trying to pick up signals from extraterrestrials; I usually get a frosty response.
Yep, I have to agree with everyone that the women from the Philippines are wickedly beautiful.
The bigger and more important question is, will Harrington have a shot next year with Tiger in marriage rehab? LOL
Best
Jody
Hi Jody – I wonder, where else can we redirect those signal deciphering skills of the Filipina? Put it to good use, if you know what I mean! 😉
Just to show you the extream nature in which you can be ‘challenged’ here let me tell you a story about almost being fooled here as well.
This story involved a friend of mine from the UK who came here to meet a lady he had met on an internet site. He came here to Davao and spent several outtings with this lady. One the first outting he went out with friends of this lady. The second outting he went out with the indirect family members and there were several other occasions of the repeat thing. After several visits it came to be that the lady was married and had several children and the whole ‘gang’ was in on the deception. As noted above, things like this is what has you in a body bag here in short order.
I’ve actually had something in that line happen to me here, not that severe but a basic massive coverup of the ‘truth’ was implimented and when it finally surfaced I nearly went back home to ‘hang my hat’, so to say.
Hi Tim – I suspect that your story is probably a lot more typical than most of us would care to think, don’t you think? Stay safe, my friend!
With regards to what is right or wrong, I think we need to clarify this a bit. W
hat Tiger Woods did was wrong. But that’s because he’s married. If he was single
, there’d wouldn’t have been an issue.
This is a good example of why a man should never get married if he thinks he’d a
lways succumb to temptations. In fact, there really is no benefit to getting mar
ried (there maybe to a woman or to his children, but not to a man); but this is
another story.
I don’t see anything wrong with dating an adult girl, especially if you’re a man
. It is a normal and healthy endeavor. Provided you don’t give her any false pro
mises or have any children with her (by getting fixed, for example) and as long
as you’re not doing anything illegal. Do I need to marry her? No. Why do I have
to marry the girls I am dating?
What I’m pointing out is I don’t see anything wrong with this kind of a lifestyl
e. Nothing wrong with dating. If it does not work out, I just move on to the nex
t one. If it turns out great, and we’re both happy, we’ll just leave it at that.
Getting married does not make it any better or would make us both happier or wo
uld make us love each other better. It would just add unnecessary financial rami
fications to an otherwise, romantic relationship.
Traditions you say? I bet people don’t practice those that don’t make sense.
Hi Juandebest – I guess that you and I see things a little differently when it comes to this topic.
As far as Tiger Woods is concerned although I am a confirmed Atheist I think the Biblical phrase “let he who is without sin etc.” covers this very well – there is a too much hippocracy attached to this matter,it should be left to him and his family to deal with it outside of media pressure.Nowhere have I seen him proclaim himself to be a paragon of virtue just a man who plays a good game of golf.
Hi Bryan – Actually, I have seen some very recent interviews where Tiger has claimed to be a very family oriented man, so that is hypocrisy. However, I agree that his problems are between him and his wife and children.