A week or two ago, I posted an article here about helping the people who you select. In the article, I mentioned that there had been some people in the family that I have offered help to, and they turned around and messed up. Well, I have an update about this.
Yesterday, a niece of mine showed up at the house. This is a girl that had lived with us for about 4 or 5 years, and whom I had put through high school, and was attending college. She was doing well, and then something happened. Somehow, she fell in with the wrong crowd, and her behavior changed. Her behavior got so bad that the time actually came where we had to withdraw our offer of supporting her and putting her through college. We offered her some options on how she could get back into our good graces and return to school, but at the time her attitude was so bad that she just chose to leave and go out on her own. This was a little over a year ago.
Well, over the past year, we have often wondered where she was, how she was doing, etc. We worried about her, because she is family, after all. No matter how bad of a mistake she made, she was still our family, and somebody that we loved. We were quite surprised yesterday when she showed up here at the house! She had been through some hard times, and had been too proud to come back and talk to us, but yesterday she finally mustered up the courage. I am happy that she did. We spent a lot of time talking yesterday, and she even stayed overnight with us. She won’t be living here again, but I did offer her a job in my company, and she accepted. Maybe someday she can earn my trust and affection back to the point where it was a couple years ago, and if she is able to do that and show me that she has learned from her trials, I will consider letting her finish her education.
I believe that the fact that she has accepted that she made a big mistake when she left here is the first step to a real reconciliation with us. It’s a big step too, one that is hard for a young person to make, because of pride. Pride is something that can really hold a person back, if they so choose.
The road to recovery and reconciliation begins. Let’s see where it takes us.
Tough love works. Or, at least, the odds increase of it working (if anything is going to work).
My older brother blamed the world for his problems and likely would have never moved out, but my dad finally stepped up to the plate and told him he needed to be finding a place to live, needed to get a job, and so on.
It was hard for my brother for a while, but he did eventually get a job and have a place to live.
You want to be nice, but sometimes you need to be tough.
Hi Tom – Yes, tough love is very tough, and tough on every party involved. It is effective, though. Thanks for your support!
hi bob,
hope your situation has a happy ending. you have a good heart to give her a second chance. also , i really enjoyed the pictures from your other site. i especially liked the coke boat . my favorite drink ! great stuff bob…….
Hi Danny – I think it will be a happy ending, although one that will require some work on her part. Some things happened in her life over the past year that will affect her for the rest of her life, and cause her to have to make sacrifices for years to come. But, she accepts that, and has learned from her mistakes, I think.
Thank you for your kindness. If you are ever in Davao, I'll buy you one of those cokes that you like so much! 🙂