aaron2

What a jerk

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It’s 7:45 in the morning. I was sitting in our dining room area. One of my workers came to work for the day. She greeted me “good morning ma’am”. Upon seeing her face I could tell something was wrong. She went directly to all the garbage cans. My nephew told her to get all the trash bins in the bathrooms because the garbage truck was waiting outside. After they finished up giving all our trash to the garbage men my worker went inside and washed her hands.

My nephew then came in and told my worker. What’s wrong with you, you just left the gate opened and you know that our dogs will go outside and then in a few months we will then have plenty of puppies. With a shock of what she did, she then blurted out that “my God I just forgot. My mind is really off today. My husband touched the private part of my daughter early dawn today.”

Visa Assistance

This daughter was her daughter from a previous relationship. At first I just didn’t get what she said. I told her to say it again to me. When she said it again I really heard the exact words what she just told me and my nephew. She then cried, I told her its okay to cry. Who would not cry with this kind of problem, and its your very own daughter was the concern here. She told me that “I wasn’t thinking he would do that to my daughter. I was a stepdaughter before, I had a Step-dad since I was 2 years old, and never my step-dad touched or did some stupid things to me. He loved me as his own daughter. I thought my husband would do the same to my daughter”.

She then continue saying that she was wondering why her daughter left her house very early and it was still dark outside. She just found out what happened when her brother came and the rest of her family came and got her husband out of bed and beat him up. One of the brother almost used the ax to crack open the head of the husband. Out of fear she begged her brother not to do that, the brother slapped her and told her that oh, you would be on the side of your husband. I think some members of the family told the brother not to kill the husband of my worker.

I called up my sister and asked her what would be the next step for my worker to do, since she attended a workshop on this matter. My sister told me what to do. I wished my friend was here in Davao, she used to work at the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) office here in Davao City. So I told my worker that I will let her go home for the day and take care the problem. I told her if she needed help  just let me know. But before I sent her home I asked her who she wanted to support with the 2 loved ones, her daughter or the husband? I told her you can’t support both of them emotionally. She told me that she wanted to let go her husband and support her daughter. I said if you support your daughter do it all the way. Show her that you really loved her, show her that she’s the most important person in your life. But I said ask yourself and be true to yourself because if you said your done with your husband and later your taking your husband again, you’re going to lose your daughter forever. She already told you that anyway. I said try to reflect and ask yourself thoroughly if who you really need in life your husband or your daughter? I added to her no matter what I said or other people told you if you think that our advice were not good enough and not working for you its okay. It’s your choice. But I said I’m sorry if you chose to be with your husband I’m sorry I have to let you go. I had a daughter and nieces and helpers here and sometimes your husband comes here for a small job and I just don’t trust him anymore. Plus it will break my heart to hear later if you will tell me he touches your 2 daughters. When he is drunk he might not think hard and he might do something with other 2 daughters. As for now I’m happy that she chose to be support the daughter. She also was scared he might touch the other 2 daughters. She still working here at the house and her family really keep a close eye if the husband comes to the house. I think they really meant business here.

My workers told me that they already reported the guy to the police and he had restraining order not to be near the daughter. My worker’s brother also said that if he ever comes back to the house or he they will see him again that they will kill him. I told my worker if you guys chose not to put him to jail, I just hope at the end that your brothers will not end up to be the criminals. I think the family of the husband were mad at him too.

I am hoping for the best for the daughter and for my worker. I hope she continue to distance herself to the husband. We’ll see and let you guys have an update.

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Feyma

Feyma Martin is a Columnist here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine, she is the wife of site Publisher, Bob Martin. Feyma is originally from the Philippines, but went to the USA for 10 years after marrying Bob in 1990. Bob & Feyma moved to the Philippines to live permanently in 2000.

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DWAYNE
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DWAYNE

Wow that is terrible. They shoud have castrated him as well. Feyma I have a question. For the short time I have been here I only see the beautiful smiles and disposition of the people and their basic good nature at least in public. Bob speaks of SIR. It really can be very confusing and perhaps a total hypocrisy to reality because I have heard too many stories to count of sexual molestation, alcoholism, physical abuse in many Philippine households so I wonder how people can be so good natured here about almost everything at least in public. They seem… Read more »

Randy W.
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Randy W.

Feyma

Such a sad story. My heart bleeds for the child and her mother. It’s a travesty if her husband is not prosecuted for this crime. Something has to be done to stop this cycle of molestation that also goes on not only there but around the world. Also you had to think about protecting your own family if she decided to stay with her husband, which thankfully is not happening. Thank you Feyma for sharing this story. God Bless

ian
Guest
ian

My wife’s best friend is unmarried but has 2 children ages 2 and 3. They live with the friends mother and father. The friend had to put a lock on her bedroom door because many times when the father gets drunk he beats up his wife and tries to get into the room where his daughter is sleeping. So far he hasnt managed to rape her but she has live with that fear for a long time. Now she is starting to worry about her daughter also. Why not go to the police? Believe it or not mostly it is… Read more »

Jack
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Jack

There is definitely a different justice system in the Philippines. I heard of a similar story where a husband was beating his wife. A group of men came down from the mountain in the middle of the night. They took him outside and beat him. They told him if it happens again, they would kill him. It can also happen if the husband is unfaithful to his wife.

MindanaoBob
Guest

Hi Jack – Ha ha… if somebody told you that it can happen if a man is unfaithful to his wife, they were pulling your leg. Lots of men here have a wife and multiple “additional wives” on the side. It is so common that even the inheritance laws here take those other children into account.

Jack
Guest
Jack

Bob,

I know you are right. There are many filipino men in other relationships. I think that some smaller regions have there own moral police (of citizens) who are willing to do this. There was a local murder in Leyte and their was gossip that it was because of the husband infidelity. That’s why I shared the comment.

brian
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brian

…time for someone to quietly disappear in a shallow hole in the ground !

Henry
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Henry

Agrees with Brian!!!

ScottD
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ScottD

I also agree!

Bruce Michels
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Bruce Michels

No I disagree with you Brian where is the comPASSION for this man. He should be put in a cell with Big Bubba and feel his LOVE for about a week. So he knows how it feels first then he needs to just fad away and become crab food. You must always so comPASSION towards you fellow man. :0

Bruce Michels
Guest
Bruce Michels

Let me clairify something IF HE IS GUILTY we should do this.

Cheryll Ann
Guest

YEP that man should have been made a eunuch instead of just getting a beating!

AlexB
Guest
AlexB

Hi Feyma,

Glad you caught that. Met a young French girl in Batad up north. She was a volunteer at a girl’s home for the abused in Puerto Princesa. She said there were many girls living in that home who were abused not by strangers but by relatives or people known to them. Your worker should file charges against that guy. I wonder how many are unreported?

Alex

peterjoy
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peterjoy

Feyma, i have one think to say here mate and that men like that are scum and dont have a right to be a father as he has give that right away with the things he as been doing to that little girl and saddly it is hapening more and more not just there but every where and there must be a way to stop it is. make me very up set to hear about this and if ther was away i can help plz let me know yes i know what i like to do with him and by… Read more »

DINE
Guest
DINE

Feyma, Iwill help you castrate anybody doing this to those innocent children. They don’t deserve to have a place in the society…if there is , they should have no testicles left to be around any children. There should be a law in the Philippines that if anybody convicted to have done this awful behavior……they should not be entitled to be back in the society without testectomy as far as I am concern!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if I am as blunt as I come! Rehab or any kind of psychological councelling will never work. Those people are not fit to function in a… Read more »

Gary Wigle
Guest
Gary Wigle

Rape is never about the sex. It is all about the power the person can have over the other. Here in Tagum City they have a cure for rape. They toss your headless body in the canal. Case closed. It is very common for a man to have 2 or more families. Why? Again it is power over people. Why don’t more women have the guy tossed in jail? Simple, money. She doesn’t have the money to hire a lawyer and if he goes to jail she will lose the income he brings to the family. Talk about being between… Read more »

Randy W.
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Randy W.

Gary

Totally agree with you Gary!

JIm Hannah
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JIm Hannah

This is a sad story here, one which arouses, as we can see from the responses, very strong emotions. But here’s a question for all of you: “Do you believe in the principle of innocence until proven guilty”? The reason I am asking this is that some of the respondents have this guy buried in a shallow grave, yet all the evidence you have is hearsay. We don’t know what is the age of the girl allegedly involved; we don’t know if this has been a repetitive series of events. We know nothing of the real facts, jet we automatically… Read more »

Randy W.
Guest
Randy W.

Jim

Everybody is assuming the guy is guilty because there was no evidence said to the contrary and the woman did not say her husband denied committing the molestation.

ian
Guest
ian

Jim- bravo Sir for standing up and saying what needed to be said. These days it is all to easy to assuse someone of abusing another- and the mob instantly demands castration-or worse. Right now their is a Norwegian and his wife fighting for their lives in Cebu because 3 children said that they saw that man and that woman lure a 6 year old girl away from her school [ the girl was found dead the next day]. The man and the woman have been charged with abduction and murder and many have called for them to be killed.… Read more »

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