Jeepneys: Why is it that all the passengers will insist on handing the driver the fare, while the driver is in the middle of a hairpin turn at forty miles an hour? Is it some form of test? Also, why can’t the next two boarding passengers stand beside each other, so the driver does not have to drive the next 15 feet to pick up the second one?
Also, just for fun, ask the capacity of a Jeepney? The heads will be scratched, and the thinking begun. Then the answers will flow; 16-18-ect. Just explain that all the answers are wrong. For the true capacity is “ONE MORE” which is the same for Trikes and buses.
Trike Drivers: Why do they pull up beside you, to offer a ride after they just saw you exit your car?
Street Vendors: What would make them feel that a “Blowgun” is just what you need today? They sell pork at the market and I don’t hunt wild pigs in the Rain Forest. Or the guy behind the blue boxes at the market, where he will repair a Presidential Rolex Watch, If I had one I sure would not bring it to him, for service.
Sports: Why is Basketball the number one sport here in the P.I.? Central and South America figured out they were not tall enough to join the “NBA” and decided Baseball was the way to go! It could be the cost of equipment, a basketball and slippers and a hoop on a tree is cheaper than gloves, bats, balls and the land required to play.
Sari-Sari Stores: Does the law require that there be one every fifty feet? I think the law does require that they all must sell exactly the same items, which will cause me much confusion picking the one I should go to. (Coldest beer works for me!) Also, they open at 7am yet by 9am they still can’t change a 20 peso bill. I wish I let my wife open one.
Dealing with Local Government: When applying for my resident visa to stay here I was provided a list of all paperwork and documents I was to present to Immigration in Manila. When I applied I was asked to provide 4 more documents which were not on the list provided. Like a foolish man I questioned why they were not listed on the paper their office provided me? That caused some major head scratching and a few shrugs of shoulders and was told to get the documents if I wanted to proceed.
Then last April 2009, I went to Subic Freeport for the Embassy Outreach visit to apply for my Social Security benefits. I arrived at 07:30, signed up, yakked with some friends, was seated at 08:00 called to see an Embassy Rep. by 08:05 and was on my way to breakfast by 08:25 as I had provided all required document from their list. The Lady from the Embassy was helpful, smart, and very friendly. While eating breakfast my wife pointed out that she was shocked to see any dealing with a government official could be so fast and smooth. I just smiled.
So… I will continue my search for answers to these and everything else that perplexes me! (Which is quite a lot?) It’s the small price we pay for choosing to live here in paradise!
P.S. This was written in pure fun, and I alone, am responsible for its content.
Ha ha some funny, but true gems in there, Paul. In particular I am absolutely amazed by the enthusiasm for basketball, as you note. Games from elementary school level and up become ‘really big’ things to a lot of parents and alumni. Even more entertaining than the games themselves are the “kabuki plays” put on by major universities and pro teams to get talent from the US permission to be ‘Filipino-enough’ to be admitted to the Philippines in ‘playable’ status.
Mita and Gia and I had a situation just the other day about that ‘list of documents’ issue. We wanted to get Gia a savings account. made atrip to out bank and one of the helpful ladies behind the counter gave a list of papers needed. We went back to the bank a few days later, list and papers in hand. Guess what? Yep, something was required that wasn’t on the list. I walked away and took the boys to the carousel, let the ladies deal with the issue.
Those lists can be a mixed blessing anyway. When I first tried to open a bank account I got a refusal from several different managers, telling me “The Central Bank requirs you to be a registered alien, no bank accounts for tourists and balaikbayans.”
“OK, fair enough, the law is the law, but since I checked with the Central Bank and _they_ said they have no such requirement, perhaps you could tell me where this rule is written?”
The answer? A circular put out by the Central Bank which lists _all_ the ID’s that are acceptable to use to open and account … this is basically in accordance with one of the international anti-money laundering acts. The circular says, “Must present at least two of the following approved ID’s” On that list (there are about 10 or 12 approved documents is the entry “Alien Certificate of Registration.”
When I pointed out that the Central Bank rule clearly aid and ACR is one of the acceptable forms of ID, not a requirement to open a bank account … in the very words of the document they were quoting to me, a lot of head scratching ensued.
hello paul
i dont know why immigration has to usually be so complicated.it seemed that officials want you to wait around alot.i just got my wife and son to usa and it seemed like i would pay thousands of dollars and then keep me waiting and wondering if they forget about us.i guess if you really love your filipina then its well worth the wait and those who dont would surely give up.hmmmm mabe that the way immigration wants it to be.i had alot i didnt like in philippines and alot i did like so its not so much different then living here.when you find the answers to your questions surely let me know.
thanks for a great article.
LMAO….questions who’s answer’s if found will shatter the lives, thoughts and way of life in the Philippines as they know it… don’t do it Paul…don’t search for the truths for ye shall walk the herecy path of Leonardo Da Vinci !!
hahahaha thanks Paul I needed that laugh ….scratching my head
Paul
I am sure we could all add to the list. But probably none of us can come up with a logical answer for any of them.
I ride intercity buses frequently, and what some of the vendors are selling is baffling.
Another is street vendors, as they watch you decline to buy from one vendor, they approach you and ask if you want to buy the same product from them.
LOL! 🙂
When I ride the Jeepney from Olongapo City to Castillejos the driver would wait until it’s full… shoulder to shoulder. I always pay for 2 passengers and put my purse and shopping bag next to me. I often get “funny” looks from people when I do this.
It seems personal space is not at all important in the Philippines. When shopping at Royal in SBMA, standing in line to check-out, person next to me would stand soooo close!
Maybe it’s just me… I’ve been Americanized for too long!
Entertaining article, Paul. Don’t be perplexed, just grin and bear it. The answer to all your “whys” can best be summed up by two words: Filipino culture.
Under your topic, “Dealing with Local Government”, I’d like to add my own personal experience with a provincial government agency:
http://www.angelfire.com/on4/zambalesforum/kapitolyong_panlalawigan.htm
John Reyes
paul,
simple answer, it’s the Philippines, do i need to say more? everything you see and experienced is just the way things are in the Philippines, it works for the Filipinos and may not work with foreigners.
Hi Dave;
Banks seem to just make up rules on a whim. That’s why anyone entering the Philippines should show their passport, and proof of a sence of humor.
Ron;
Last year I paid P 500.00 to expedite my ACR card, and received it this year. Could you imagine how long it takes if I went the regular way?
Hi Brian;
I’ll quit my quest today. Thank you for pointing that out to me. What was I thinking?
Tommy;
If I made you laugh, my work here is done. Glad you liked it!
I’m glad you enjoyed reading my “Kapitolyong Panlalawigan”, Paul T. If Bob Martin should consider publishing it as well as my other article, “Sabong”, posted earlier under “Culture Clash” as a guest submission for wider dissemination in LiP as both articles are very much relevant to what is presently being discussed – the Filipino culture – who am I to disagree? Hahaha
Thanks. Oh, btw, I’m simply John. Mr. Reyes was my Dad. :)) How’s everything in Dinalupihan these days? There’s this excellent food joint (a turo-turo, as it’s called) by the zigzag road in Dinalupihan where I never fail to stop at for lunch on my way to and from Zambales during balikbayan visits. Wonder if it’s still there. I love the kalderetang kambing and nilagang baka, particularly, but stay away from dinuguan. I doubt if any of the expats here has ever tasted dinuguan, or balut, for that matter. LOL
John Reyes
Hi Again John;
When in the Navy if someone called me sir, my reply was “Hey, I work for a living!”
Your story made me smile when you referenced the Royal Manual Typewriter, (and the liter of whiteout on every document, if I may add that) When I got a traffic ticket in Olongapo, I noticed it was written into the largest book I’d ever seen. On my next visit I was asked if I’d ever had a ticket before. “I can’t remember, let’s check the book.” was my answer. No one did.
As for dinuguan and balut, I tried each once and decided I’d leave that pleasure to those much stronger than me. Like my wife and daughters.
Hi Paul,
If you want a laugh at a Jeepney Terminal when you are asked where you are going to just tell them you want to go to Vise-Versa as every Jeep has it written on the Route! Its quite amazing how dumb founded the people appear as they usually cannot give you an explanation as to where Vise-Versa is!
When I got my E Card it took me 2 years and 4 months, thats how long without paying to smooth its passage!
Nice Article!
Hi Chris;
Vice-versa, now that’s classic! I will check that out, as it’s a first for me.
The year wait on my e-card was just a renewal, I did ask for a refund of my P500.00 and the man went wild scratching his head. I was just happy to get the card at all.
As a “Why is it that Way” addition : Why is it that when someone boards the jeepney and there are plenty of vacant spaces available they will always sit as close as they can to you ? Can’t be my Axe cologne since i don’t use . 🙂
Hello Paul, I so much enjoyed your questions about the jeepneys. These are questions that only a foreigner can think of. Oo nga naman pala! Why???
If I have to take the jeep, I so much prefer the front seat. There was a time when can smoke there. I would not want to be seated where everyone will hand me their fare which is usually in the middle,
Horror vacui. Galit-galit?
No, Paul. Long waits in govt offices breed other sub-culture. Applying for or getting some govt documents is most often scheduled by Filipinos every Monday. When you missed it on Monday, as always in most cases, you try to accomplish the failed attempt nxt monday again. Everything is delayed then.
The strange thing is that the only government department which seems to have improved is Immigration – I-card renewals over the last 2 years have taken minutes – even when I was a month late due medical treatment.I first had dealings with Intramuros in 1988 and it was a shambles – Miriam Santiago became commissioner and much improved things.
Hi Roy;
The first time on a jeepney I thought the the other people were very generous, as they all kept giving me money. (LOL)
Alan;
You must give off an air of friendship and warmth, or you’re dropping pesos on the seat and don’t know it. (LOL) As Miss August pointed out they do it to her also, and I’ll add my name to the list also. Next time we board a Jeepney lets be the one to sit close to someone. If my wife’s not with me… You guess who I will getting close to! (Again LOL)
Axe, I do like their ad on TV, Is it like Old Spice?
Roy;
Long waits are not caused by culture, there caused by underpaid overworked people who have no incentive to go beyond the call of duty. I never blame the employee; blame the one who pays them. Okay, sometimes it is the employee who has no clue as to why they’re there or what they’re doing, but I’ve found that to be rare worldwide.
Oh Paul, I did not make myself clear. These long waits expected in govt offices do breed other sub-culture. Example, before the US Embassy in Manila scrapped that first come, first serve policy(not By Appointment yet), there was this business that went on on whose service is solely to sit out the queue for you. Long waits breed businesses, shady deals, networking etc. It’s hard for me to articulate them here. All I’m saying is you put people in a confined space for so long and sure enough, inspirations will take place. Make the long waits almost institutionalized in most govt offices and you will make pinoys adjust to it, adapt to it–and that will create a sub-culture.
Hey Paul,
I’m still trying to figure out why my wife needs so many live fingerprint scans. She got the first one at the Manila embassy, then again at LAX when she arrived. Now again to apply for permanet status. Do they think her fingerprints have changed?
Now on to more important questions, like why don’t they make mouse flavored catfood?
Paul, thanks for a hilarious and dead on article. When I was last there, one of my Filipine friends actually bought one of those blowguns (with sharp steel darts) from a vendor. I asked him why he needed it and didn’t he think it was dangerous having it around children. Didn’t consider it. When we got home they all passed it around to each other taking turns. They did wipe off the mouthpiece before using it so I guess that took care of those pesky germs (and the alcohol probably helped some). Thankfully, it self-destructed and fell apart after 2 days. Buyer beware!
Hi Hudson;
Mouse flavored cat food? I like how your mind works.
Why is there no blue food?
The deal with the fingerprints doesn’t make any sense, but then maybe some bureaucrat came up with the plan to justify his job? The US has an office to standardize the size of all pipes and fitting, it was established in the late 1800’s, it’s still there. The question is, what do they do now?
Hi Paul – it amazed me too – arrived at the office in Intramuros at opening time, was shown the window, gave the lady my card and 320 pesos handed back my card directed to next window gave card again, got it handed back again. Asked where now? told ” thats all” Left building and drove home in a state of absolute amazement – kept saying to myself ” This is the Philippines it does not happen this way.”