Boy that’s kind of a negative sounding title, isn’t it, Dave? And besides, who died and left you in charge … where do you get off telling me what I can and can’t do?
Of course I’m not in charge and of course I can’t tell you what to do… I wouldn’t even if I was able to. But that title just sort of came to mind this morning when I was reading some mail I had answered in the past and remembering some of the many conversations with several thousand (over the past 10 years or so) folks who had 10,000 reasons or more why they can’t make the move and live here in the Philippines.
I’m a great believer in a line that is attributed to Henry Ford… a young man who started out poorer than you and I put together and died as one of the richest men in the world in addition to the ‘minor’ accomplishment of putting the world on wheels. Said Henry, “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Over the years I’ve talk with roughly 8 times as many people who “think they can’t” as I have with people who “think they can.” One reason for that disparity in numbers is, many of the “think they can”… let’s just call them the ‘can’ folks, shall we … don’t need to talk near as much as the “can’t” folks, because the “cans” often just make up their mind and do it.
The “can’ts” are often trapped in that modern malady of our times, “paralysis by analysis.”
- Gotta find out the answer to every conceivable detail in excruciating detail.
- Gotta reconcile all the discrepancies, one guy pays PhP50,000 a month for rent and another pays 10,000 a month for rent … Danger, Will Robinson!
- Gotta have a “real” job within easy commuting range of my house
- Gotta live where I am sure I have coverage under Medicare, even if I am only 40 years old
- Gotta live only where my friends and family “understand” … I don’t live my life for me, I live through them.
- The list goers on, ad infinitum
The real truth is, prices vary by where you live, what terms you decide to take and what terms are even available in the first place. Last time I was in the rental market back in the USA, things weren’t very much different at all. There are places available nearly anywhere to fit nearly any budget, but if you haven’t enough confidence in yourself to only sign up for what fits you, I’d submit you are placing yourself well into the “can’t” camp.
In today’s world, where you earn a living has nothing to do with where you live … unless you want to keep things status quo. Finding a conventional J.O.B. (Just Over Broke) in the Philippines can be hard … but why do you need one? Look at the newspapers and the TV reports every night. People even with “old line” companies have no “job security” … job security is a myth anyway. Earning you own living is likely the only safe “career path.”
Medicare coverage is indeed an issue, and I’m a lot closer to it than the majority of you reading this, but even so, who cares? Are you going to live as a ward of the government, being shuffled around to suit the whim of some bureaucrat, or are you going to actually “live” your life, instead of starting your death planning in your 40’s? Frankly, both my parents died, in part, because of the horrible way elders in the US are treated under Medicare, so I don’t spend a lot of time looking forward to that “wonderful” government benefit. If I get caught up by some horrible illness in the future, I’ll deal with what happens when it happens. When my dad passed away, 13 years ago, a contributing factor was being shoved out of one Medicare-assisted nursing facility into another, cheaper Medicare-approved facility. Even all those years ago, the weekly bill for the cheaper facility was more than my wife an I spend for a month to live here in the Philippines … so am I going to live my life based on the “tender mercies” of the US Medicare program? In the end, we’re all dead anyway, I prefer to live the time I have left with a little more pleasure and dignity, thank you very much.
So what’s my point? What’s the answer to the question in the headline? Why can’t you live in the Philippines, if you wish to? Here’s how to find the sure and certain answer.
Get up from your computer right now, walk to the closest mirror and ask the person staring back at you. No one else can make the decision for you, and no one else really controls whether or not you can make the trip now, next year, in 20 years or whenever. You aren’t “forced” to stay in your current situation by any third party, you are the deciding factor to live here or never live here. God bless you with an informed choice, not an artificially forced one.
If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you are right.
words of wisdom from a wise man thanks Dave i agree with every word you wrote dictation is for secretary's and i just don't want anyone dictating my life and my experiences
Hi Dave – As I told you when you wrote this article, I love this article. It is so true! Every word you speak here is gospel. And, like you, I get e-mails from all the people who tell me why they "can't" do it too… sometimes it drives me crazy!
It's not just the move from country to country. This type of person exist in all facets of life. I have done a lot of travelling via sailboat, and had some pretty adventureous times. FEAR is an ugly word, but unfortunately it dominates a lot of people. They want everything to be sure, to be 100% safe. That's just not the way life is.
These, FEAR, people in the sailing world are waiting to get radar. Well now they have it, but it's not the latest technology, and my water pumps are dead. It's always as soon as I get this, or that. In reality it is FEAR keeping them back. There's always some kind of excuse. I left with a GPS, paper charts, the ability to know when to reef, and the desire to explore.
My FEAR is staying here in the USA, and missing the adventure of a lifetime. Sailing from N.E. Florida to the Phils, and then exploring 7,107 islands. We just need to do a little house cleaning the economy brought onto us, and we are out of here, USA…..i2f….John
Hi Dave – I'm packin' as fast as I can. What doesn't make it into the box will just have to be done without, while what does make it will just have to be enjoyed all that much more!
Some folks are "glass half-full" and some are "glass half-empty." I'm more of an, "Oops, I spilt it" type. 😆
'Paralysis by analysis' ….. brilliant Dave, that applies to just about everything these days, you're right.
Thanks for the words of wisdom, Dave. You're right. It's far too easy to talk myself out of something rather than jump in and try it out for myself.
I still think it would be prudent to perform some do-diligence first, followed by a few visits before burning my proverbial bridges at home.
Out of curiosity, did you make any visits for any length of time prior to making your move?
A military retiree (I'll call JD) is always telling me how things were and how much he loved being stationed in the RP. "I want to sale my house and fancy cars here, buy a 2 bedroom cottage on the beach then live off my retirement and 401k in PI" he has been telling me all to often for the past couple years. Ha-ha I get frustrated hearing it over and over…
Last time he said it I replied "JD you gotta be crazy. keep your job, give me your retirement and 401k so I can live in the RP…cuz you are obviously afraid of change" 😉 he hasn't mentioned a thing since then.
Ha ha I thought maybe I had a sure fire way to make a living in the Philippines. But, then again the glass isn't half full or half empty because I kicked it over. =))
Dave, very amusing and so true. Man I am so comfortable with all my luxurious problems.
Dave your article is simple but so brilliant. Many people are caught in the middle to where they want to make their next serious move in their lives. I do agree with your writing 100% and you can count me to the people, who will make the move to the Philippines. I need another year to sort out some of my finances here in the Netherlands, but when that problem is solved I will pack my stuff and go on a one way ticket to the Philippines. In that country I feel happy, because of the people, the nature and last but certainly not least the love I found with a Filipina and her little daughter. These sweethearts made me see where my future home will be.
Thanks for your article Dave, you wrote down what is in my mind and soul since I found true love in this beautiful country.
Hi Dave,
Interesting article with a lot of truth in it.
I love the quotes,so true.
I have a quote of my own "Some people are still studying the roots,while others are picking the Fruit".
regards Chas.
Thanks, Tommy. One of the reasons I really felt the need to write this article has nothing to do with the Philippines. It has to do with making a lot of 'decisions' in my life that were not 'decisions' at all … they were acts of following the other sheep along the path that was 'pronounced' safe by the 'experts'.
Don't get me wrong, many of those decisons worked out ok, and I am not living my life in the 'if only' mode, but you know when you are in your 60's you can't redo what you diod in your 40's. Too many people I know in their 30's and 40's are already living like they were 70, just don't have their Medicare card an as much gray hair.
Life is to live. And you know moving to another place to live is hardly a momentous as some peple make it out to be. If I don't like it here, I can go almost anywhere. Why agonioze?
I know Bob. As I have mentioned before to you, if people only knew how many times I have sat there with my mouse cursor hovering over the 'Delete' button on PhilFAQS it might surprise them.
There is some sort of a mindset going around that's aworse disease than thet H1N1 stuff for sure. It's a 'disease' where people just sit up lare at night thinking up reasons they "can't" while others of us who "can" just do. And I don't mean this as some sermon to 'convert' someone to living in the Philippines. It isn't for eevryone.
I do mean it as a sermon to convert folks to thinking for themselves and making the right decision for themselves instead of worrying about what others think.
Sounds good to me, especially the sailing part. Hey do you know our freind Ellen in Davao? http://www.sailsamal.com ? So far she is very unique to me, she and her husband the only foreigners or Balikbayans who ever entered the Philippines without a boarding pass … they sailed here. Not only did they save on air fare, unlike the rest of us, if they don't like their neighbors they can let go some lines and move at a moments notice
I do miss some things we didn't bring, often the strangest things … but one thing for sure, living in the US you/we all accumulate the most amazing assortment of just plain crap. I made note of abook I want to read the other day, the book was about the US economy/lifestyle and title somehting like "Why we go broke buying things we don't need".
One of the advantages of this small house we are in is that we can't accumulate so much … I'm sure a lot of people would feel we are deprived, but actually, we are blessed.
I tip over a lot of glasses myself. One of the reasons it's often better to just drink straight from the bottle 😉
Actually my dirty little secret is, I wrote that article to myself. I've been vacillating over a big change in my online business for months now, and analyzing what to do has become a time wasting hobby rather than a short step at the beginning of the journey.
Aside from the fact that the expression "due diligence" has been perverted to mean something totally different than the definition of the words, and is often used with egregious disregard for the rules of English, I certainly can't argue with being prudent.
But many carry "prudence" to extremes. That's sort of my main point here. If "making a prudent decision" involves insuring nothing will ever go wrong, the answer is simple. Forget the whole thing … it is not going to happen.
I don't advocate making uninformed decisions, merely that folks stop using uncertainties as a substitute for making a decision in the first place.
In answer to the "visit" question? Yes I made 10 separate visits to the Philippines before my wife and I actually made the move … but most of them were for family/personal reasons not really part of the decision-making process.
We made that decision together using a very simple "pros and cons" list. When the items in the "pros" list got up to twice the number in the "cons" list, the decision was pretty easy.
A visit or two is highly recommended, almost mandatory in my mind, but remember something. Coming here as a tourist is not at all the same as living here … and if you make your own "pros and cons" list, forget the idea that you will be able to come up with an answer for every 'con'.
The decision can't hinge on being able to eliminate negatives, only on your own comfort level in living with the aspects of living here that will forever be on the negative side for you.
ha ha I liked that one. Too bad he didn't go along with your plan … sounded fair to me.
Theer are few military and military retirees in the general readership here at LiP (hello to those who do read regularly). If the audience was more slanted in that direction, it would be easier to write some of these articles … the Philippines has a lot of advantages for military retirees.
I understand. Been there, done that and still often fall into the comfort trap myself.
Your are certainly welcome, Adrie. And thanks for sharing …you are focused on the things that matter, and that's a good thing.
You said a mouthful (if fruit, perhaps ;-)) there Chas. One of the things I find a bit frustrating when talking to folks who are on the fence is getting across the point that coming here to live is not quite as life changing as so many make it our to be. I mean Americans in particular and other Westerners in general are among the 'movingest' people on earth. The same folks who would think only a few moments about moving from say California to Florida (or Birmingham to London), seem 'stuck' on the fact that it is indeed another country here.
That means a lot. It also means, 'so what'. If someone moved from California to Florida, let's say, to take a new job … and after 6 months the job turned out to be crap and they hated the humidity an bugs, what would they do? Would their life as they know it be over?
Of course not. They'd sit down and decide either to change how things were going for them in Florida or they would start putting another move into effect. Life goes on. It actually changes little when you cross an international border, just as it changes very little when you cross into another US state or UK county or Canadian province or ….
Hi Dave,
Interesting article!
Back in 1995 I had the chance to move to Germany for several months. After about 3 months I had become used to thinking and speaking German. I was completely comfortable with getting around by myself and started to feel totally at home.
When I returned later to Toronto, Canada I wasn't sure at first which country was "home ". I expect the same will happen when I move to the Philippines in the not too distant future.
That's what makes living her different Dave , it has cons … but the pros's are so worth while. we may never enjoy and sample all the adventure in our dreams and ambitions but moving somewhere where life an culture is different is certainly an attainable goal and cost for material goods, shelter and sustenance makes it feasible to everyone who has ever dreamed of changing their life and stepping out into the unknown. I myself will be regrettably going back to the states at some time in the future but not because i want to but so that my wife can have that difference in culture and life she craves. she is the one who has piqued my reality and has shown me i can live when when and how i want to if you don't do it now you may never get the chance thanks again
Hi Dave, yes, Imagine is my cyber-mate :). You should listen to his "horror" stories at sea. But does he quit doing it? Nope. Haha.
We should adopt the "bahala na" attitude. Just do it, and bahala na ….
A few times, the decision had been made for us. For example, from Cabo San Lucas, we planned to head towards La Paz in Mexico's Baja Peninsula. But, with the wind and current, our boat just kept on pointing towards Mazatlan, across the gulf. So BE IT .. bahala na – we go Mazatlan then. So the lesson here is – always be flexible!!!
Hi Dave
Thanks for an awesome subject its so much more than just about moving. Its how so many of us have become tied up with the we can't because the rules say that. Its actually a subject i have been giving a lot of thought to in recent times. As a government employee i think i have been conditioned to following the party line so to speak. Recently i made a decision that to succeed one has to begin to think outside the square and find a way. In the words of my Father "there is no such word as can't"
take care
Les
Yes Dave. I know what you mean. I'm a musician, In preparing a piece for performance its easy to get bogged down, pondering which of the endless combinations of fingerings etc. would be best. Of course it's necessary to make sensible choices, but at some point it has to stop so you can just get down to the spadework. That final 'hunch' factor is always there however much thinking we've done, always that 'oh well, here goes then!' commitment, lap-of-the-Gods again after all! And details can always be adjusted as things go along, but things have to BE going along before we can tell which adjustments to make.
Hi Dave & All Great subject!I can see this decision becoming a real head scratcher for some. Especially those operating on a shoe string, or maybe worse for those reluctantly edging out of their comfort zone. Their are no 100% guarantees & if their were it would make life rather hum-drum. The uncertain is what makes an adventure. I have been to the Philippines several times, BUT, I have never lived there! Like many I fell in love with the people & the culture. I had plans of moving there for many years, but due to a major M.V.A. leaving me somewhat crippled, my plans have been put on hold for 3yrs. Although being a Canadian, I was always first in line to get my work permit to work throughout the U.S. Although I have always been somewhat of an introvert my medical condition has required me to be more dependant on others & expanding my involvment with others. Other than the yearly trip back to Canada, I want to give my full effort into my adaptation to my new home this fall. Barring in mind,as in most situations,their is no point of no return. Hoping to meet lots of new friends there.
Hi,great article,I agree with everything you've said and read all the comments but none of them mentioned anything about kids.I mean,I am from the Philippines and would like to someday go back and live there permanently but I have 2 teenagers right now ages 14 & 15 and they didn't like it there, so as a mother I am stucked to stay with them here in Canada and even after they become adults I still won't want to live far away from them.Maybe I can stay in the PI half of the year(winter) and half of the yr near my children.That's my reason and my only reason for why "I can't"
Only one in a thousand people can understand and live by those words. The reason why- For every one person telling you that you CAN do something, there are a thousand telling you that you CAN'T. If you're independent-minded enough to ignore naysayers, anything and everything is possible! (Including moving to Philippines to live).
Hi Dave, its been awhile since I have been here but there is a reason that I came to the site today and after reading your article I now know why, I have lived both ways thank god, if I hadn't gotten stuck with the "I can't" I wouldn't have become more of a "just do" kind of person, I am in the process of trying to make the move myself and don't have a retirement only have my small business and haven't a clue how its going to work out. I have alot of footwork to do, and am exploring every option I can find to overcome my shortcomings to make this possible and making as many connections as I can, however one of my shortcomings is patience, and my head gets to loud and my heart gets to quiet, in order to live like you describe is not easy, it will test your fears and confidence but it has allways been worth it in the end. so my final words here, is if you want to get to the fruit of the tree you have to go out on a limb, but like Confuscious say "he was an optimist" man who shoot at nothing sure to hit it. thanks Dave
GOOD DAY SIR!
IM A FIIPINO STUDENT RESIDING HERE IN THE CHAOTIC LAND OF MINDANAO..18 YEARS OLD AND A FRSHMAN CLLEGE STUDENT..
I'VE READ YOUR ARTICLE SIR BUT THE ONE THAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION IS THE GREAT LINE OF HENRY FORD W/C I ALREADY ENCOUNTERED BEFORE IN MY LOLO'S -HOW TO SUCCEED BOOK-..
I WAS LIKE HYPNOTIZED BEFORE BYTHE FACT THAT I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SUCCEED IN ANY FIELD I WOULD CHOOSE IN SOME FUTURE TIME BUT EVERYTHING
CHANGED WHEN I WAS TESTED BY THE FATE.I THOUGHT I AM RIGHT IN EVERYTHING I THINK I CAN DO BUT I AM EXACTLY WRONG..I TRIED TO BE POSITIVE ALWAYS WITH THE SITUATION I WAS FACING BUT IT ONLY HELP ME A LITTLE..IN THAT TIME I WAS SLOWLY YANKING DOWN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT STEPS I SHOULD TAKE.THOUGH I WAS STRUGGLING I STILL TRY TO STAND..THANKS GOD I SURVIVED!!!
AND NOW STILL TRYING TO STAND AND NEVER PUTTING AGAIN IN MY MIND THAT I AM RIGHT IN EVERYTHING I THINK I CAN…
I AM HOPING FOR WHATEVER YOUR RESPONSE IS AND I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY
ADVICE FROM YOU SIR…
THANK YOU!!!
MORE POWER TO YOU AND TO YOUR FAMILY!!!
Hi Christine. yes living here only three monthsout of ayear is hardly ‘living here’, it’s more like being an extended tourist. We all can’t make moves as we wish, that’s for certain.
Soemhting I’d throw out for what it is owrth … after the time comes that you don’t have to work abroad comes along, keep your mind open to the idea that instead of traveling back and dorth every six months, you might looking into teaching here. Many Philippine nursing schools are extremely handicapped today becuase they can’t get nursing professors, administrators, curriculum specialists with actual nursing expereince … I have a relative who is a nurse now in the USA and I know this is her long term dream .. come back here to teach and pass on those 20 or 30 or however many years of priceless expereince.
Just an old man butting in … be well, Christine.
I'm looking to move to the Philippines. Where can Ilook for a reasonable apartment until i can find a place to buy. Also where in the islands is a place that is near the ocean that is good. Any help will do. thanks
Thank you Dave again. This is suvh a good article. I have been scared of my move there and even more since I have been there and now not in Mindinao but I will live in Leyte. My Brother is there now and will stil be there when I get there so that is going to make it somewhat easier. I have only been to Davao City do this will be new for me but I am ready. You know the scary part was having my kids come to my house with trailers and getting all they wanted from my home of 35 years.they asked if I wanted to help them pick and I just said take what you want. Wow I am so excited about the move but still scared. I know all will be for the best for my life. I have been to the Philippines twice and it only reminded me of the happiest times of my life, the 1950's. We were not rich much like you but so happy. Kids did not need things to be happy just heart. I saw that both times I was there and I want some more. Thank you again for writing this one. I hope some day to meet you. Andy
Oh Dave, pls. DONOT delete PHILfaq. I might not have posted in it, but I find it very informative….
Hi Jessica, we are in the same boat. I'm in Australia and also have 2 teen-agers. My kids only care about PI as a holiday destination, but not to live permanently. At the moment, the most time off I can get from my Nursing job is 3 months out of the year. But when I retire (dream, dream..) I will probably end up 6 months in PI, 6 months in Oz.I'm happy with that.
Indeed you have hit on an important point. A freind of mine used to do a lot of software reviews on his website. He had three categories for his recommendations: Poor, don't buy, Fantastic, hardky a fault, and "Good Enough". Many authors were unhappy with his reviews, becuase the vast majority of his reviews ended up with a "Good Enough" rating. But hey, in honesty, that's about the norm in life.
I've heard of many actors, musicians and public speakers who avoid even looking at recordings of their performances .. the public may have loved it, but the artist is embarrassed by the faults s/he noticed … if it's "Good Enough", then go for it … perfection is seldom attained.
Truer words never spoken, Tommy.
First of all, coming here to live is not some sort of irrevocable decision. Planes fly both ways.
Second, bringing your spouse to the States, possibly for citizenship purposes, is a worthy goal. There are those who advise against it, but I certainly do not agree … Mita and I would have missed a lot if she hadn't made the move, and because she is now a US citizen, I sleep easier … we both have the same choices open to us, unlike before.
Lastly I want to point out a hard reality of age. A rule so many forget is, the longer you wait, the less years you have left. Some people put off, put off, put off until they are old and fragile and then find they can't make it work for them … if they came in their forties, fifties, etc., they might have to go back in old age but they would have memories and experiences to last the rest of their life, instead of wistfully thinking 'I wish I had'.
Hello Andy,
What part of Leyte does your brother live ? Just curious, because that is where I will be settling too. That is Southern Leyte, Maasin City, would love to hear about where you are planning to make your home.
Take care now,
Danny 🙂
One of the things I think a lot of people are making too much of is the 'differences'. (they should read my post about wherever you go, there you are) perhaps)
Of course it is different here … but especially after you get your feet on the ground you will start to find that a great many of the differences are only as pronounced as you chose to make them.
Suppose someone moved from a little 1 story bungalow house in a population 500 town in Kansas to an apartment in Greenich Village, NYC. There would be some earth shaking differences in their way of life at frst. But then again, especially after they 'sculpted' their lives to suit them as much as they could (some things you can change, some you can't), would it really be all that different?
And Kansas would always be there, beckoning in the distance in case, after a decent time, they just couldn't stand it … they wouldn't have 'given up their membership' in the 'back home nation club', they would have just tried somehting new, and learned a lot as well.
Hello Dave,
I loved this article too, you COULD have written it a year ago though..(just kidding). Dave, I have already hurdled this fence, and of course have weighed all the options of moving to the Philippines, and your correct, it won't be that much different in the aspect of getting it in your head, that it is very do-able.
Just have a few more ducks lined up, i's to dot, and t's to cross before I make the move.
Salamat, ingatz,
Danny 🙂
Hi Dave – This is very true. In many of the things that I do, I know what mistakes I made, and they bother me. Others may look at the work and say it is perfect. I will be sitting there thinking "how could they not notice those glaring mistakes that I made?" In truth, the producer of a work will always be the harshest of critics.
I know. One of the reasons I write often on this theme is not to try to lure people to the Philippines .. first, it isn't the right choice for everyone and second, if we get too darn many freigners here it won't be the Philippines any longer .. stay home dang it 😉
No, kidding aside, one of the reasons I devote the time and passion is, as a man of 63 summers I am appalled at the nation of sheep my own country has become. Readers, be assured of this. You still have freedom of choice, and you still have the power to stand on your own two feet. Freedom is just like having sculpted abs … if you don't exercise them, they just go to flab.
Sounds like you have the right attitude, Guy. Everyone has to pick their opportune time. I don't advocate people making the move 'blind'. Just travel with an open mind, and if an opportunity comes up, cerpe diem. If the right time never comes, you have nothing to regret as long as the decison was based on your own thoughts and not on other's unasked for 'warnings'.
Hi Jessica. Thanks for reading and leaving such an informative comment.
I'm going to take a risk here … I don't want to offend you, but on the other hand, you brought this up, and I think it's an idea worth discussion.
Just as a point of discussion, did you ever consider the idea that your children's opinion might not count as much as yours?
In my own case, my mom and dad decided to make make a move when I was 14 … and I hated it. And, be assured, I told them how I hated it too, in no uncertain terms.
My dad then said, "Thank you for your input, now get up to you room and sort and pack your stuff, the truck will be here tomorrow". (actually he phrased it a little differently, a bit more "emphatically" shall we say, ;-), but that was his point)
Know what? I lived through the move just dandy, made new friends, found opportunities in the new place that I previously "didn't like" and now, 50 years later, that move is hardly a blip on my radar. My parents certainly didn't screw up my life in any way by telling me to sit down and color.
Again, don't take me wrong, it is entirely your business how decisions are made in your family, but frankly the idea that mid-teens make those kind of decisions for the whole family sort of seems a little upside down to me.
If a 15yo said, "Mom. I'm leaving home to get married" or "I'm joining the circus". most parents would be agast .. they'd say, "No you're not, you're still a child, you don't have the life expereince to make those sort of decisions yet." And most other parents would agree whole heartedly. A major role of a parent is to make decisions for their children … and those decisions are very often unpopular. It's part of the job.
So, again, forgive me if I am sounding too bossy and meddling, but in my opinion allowing children to make your decisions for you is not a long-term path to happiness.
As you may know, I spent a lot of years with the military, and have a lot of expereince with children who were forced to uproot and travel the world every few years as dictated by their parent's career. I would put the average 'military brat' up against any number of 'educated in one place' children you would care to bring to a contest. Travel and living and learning in other places ,,, being outside their comfort zone .. has been proven to be beneficial by many learned studies.
Change and travel and especially learning to cope with situations they don't like are an extremely important part of a child's education … much more than the humdrum subjects schools dish out and call an education. Or so Dave opines.
(ok, sorry, soap box mode off), all the best to you, whatever your own best choice turns out to be.
Absolutely, Joe. You said a mouthful. You know if one could, by magic, go back and re-think the decison of any one of us who have made the move, I bet a large percentage would have many negative factors. I know I sure could … I could list you a dozen reasiosn or more why making the move when I did as not the smartest choice. But I did, and I'm happy.
You just can't make a move like this based on other people's opinions … you'll never get enough of them to agree;-)
In one respect, not having a regular J.O.B. (Just Over Broke) can be very empowering. You don't have to make that momentous decison to resign, and listen to all the dire predictions your boss and co-workers are likely to make.
But, of course, one has to eat. What sort of business are you in now? Is there any chance of running it remotely, or in moving it online?
I'll tell you one great advantage you do have if you decide to move here and go in business .. the fact that you already successfully run a business.
So many people write me and ask for advice about starting a business here … and they have never run a business in their home country. Scary.
IMO, the first step in coming to the Philippines to run your own business is to start and grow ione back home … even if the business won't 'transfer' here, the experience will be extremely valuable. The Philippines is a poor place for a foreigner to go to 'hands on business school'.
Hi Confused,
Thanks for writing. I don't know what sort of help you are looking for. What are you studying and what do you hope to achieve in the future?
(and just as a little favor to old men like me who can hardly see anyway, try typing without the caps lock key … messages in all caps like yours are difficult to read, thanks.)
Hi David. I'm not really sure how I can help, in that you have given very little to go on. The Philippines is an island nation of more that 7100 islands, roughly as far north to south as the US is wide. Can you possibly narrow down your desired location a bit? Everywhere in the Philippines is 'near the ocean', depending on your definition of 'near'. The closer to water, the more expensive your accommodations are liable to be, but the better your chance of finding short-term rentals.
And what are you looking to buy? A house, a condo, a multi-unit building, a farm or estate???? Sounds to me as if you would profit from a visit here to get a look at things, perhaps.
You're welcome, Andy. Best of luck to you and keep us apprised of where you wind up … I hope to meet you someday, too.
Ha ha, I missed my assignment deadline, did I? Memo to self, "write last year's article tomorrow'. LOL. I've seen you around this site Danny and I can see you are making good headway on your own move. Don't get too impatient, the time will come, and I wish you the best.
Dave: One thing I've noticed since moving here is that things that seemed important to me in the States were not that important. Look, my ex-wife and I were working, earning a ton of money, and could buy everything we could possibly want (within reason… but we were focused on things.) AND, I was really not very happy. 16 hour days, long commutes, and no time together. One of the primary reasons our marriage failed. We were doing what we were SUPPOSED to do, but not what we wanted to do. I'll admit, a couple of years ago, I would have never in a million years envisioned my life as it is now. Major changes are uncertain and can be scary. What matters is that I just followed my gut and jumped inj with both feet… Good or Bad. I think the difference is that I now have goals and a purpose other than just acquiring more stuff.
Dave, me teaching? When retirement comes, it's not really the money that's going to divide me but loyalties to my birthplace (PI) and my adopted country (Oz), in particular my children also. I donot think I can go more than 6 months not seeing them. But then, I guess when they have their own families, the pull of PI might just be strong enough for me to stay there. Thanks for the tip/thoughts though. I might email you if I get serious about it. I got my Nursing degree here, so must hold some weight for PI, I hope?
Hi Dave,
This article had me thinking about how many times i've moved home in my life,so i started counting.
To date, 22 moves (4 before age 16)i must be a seasoned nomad by now LOL,and i've not finished yet.
regards Chas.
Hi Dave, I'm not offended at all,actually I am the type of a parent that won't get manipulated by anybody,more so by my own teeners. Most of the time they were forced to do what I believe is best for them,like joining the air cadets,my son hated it but he goes because I told him so. Maybe a lot of your readers will take offense by my reason of not forcing my children to live with us in the PI. I grew up in Manila,got my education there and worked there in different companies and I've seen and experienced frst hand the discrimination against applicants that came from public schools,not to mention the nepotism system that is very rampant.It will be a long rant and I din't really want to be too overly negative but it is my opinion that there will be no future for my kids there as some of you may already know(it's in the statistics)that a large percentage of population there are unemployed.
You may say that a lot of people in US and CAN are loosing their jobs too and anywhere in the world but I don't believe that I will be doing my children any justice by dragging them to live with me in the land of extreme…(I think you know what I mean)…I assure you though that I have been teaching my kids to be thankful$ for what they have and training them to share their blessings with the poor and hopefully when the time comes that they are able to take care of themselves and think for themselves,they can decide if they want to go back to their homeland(they were born there and we immigrated to canada when they were 6 & 7 yo.)Cheers.
Thanks for the kind words, Christine. I know have number of 'crossover' readers, but I don't know who many of them are. I haven't thought of deleting it for at least a day or two now 😉
That's the part that I feel I fail at getting across as well as I might, Ellen. Moving to the Philippines is not like 'blasting off' to colonize a new planet on a one way space mission. People (aven Filipinos abroad) will never 'really' know if they can make living here enjoyable for them … tourist visits don't help all that much … and if they don't like it, well what stops them from moving on to greener pastures?
It's a bit difficult to figure, given the history of pioneering and wanderlust of say the US, Canada and Australia, just to mention three of the places were the majority of my readers come from.
Sailing across the Pacific in a small yacht? Now that I would call adventerous. Flying to another city from the one you live in now, just to see if you like it? Not such a big deal.
I identify strongly with what you are saying there, John. You know, if you do an online search with a subject like "why do we buy stuff that makes us unhappy" or something along those lines, you'll quickly get the idea that Americans 'in the home country' are still almost head over heels rushing to fall deeper into the deadly 'debt spiral'.
I've opted out of that completely, and I live better and sleep better than I ever have. (oh, and by the way, 'case anyone's wondering, I have a LOT more in the bank than I did three years ago).
I certainly think one of the greatest benefits of coming here to live is not the money aspect … it is a great place to stretch the buck and/or get out of debt, though… but it is the things I do every day, the people, especially family that I deal with every day, and the goals I have set, and am working on, which are not only wihtin my grasp, but will live on long after I am gone.
Hi Jessica, thanks for getting back on that comment and for taking my comments the way I intended. This is not the place for everyone, that is a given. And I see now that you have dug deeper than just accepting a simple 'no' from your kids.
I really see a whole blog article or two or three in this response, though. (people who complain they don't know what to write about are a bit of a mystery to me … I could write 20 articles a day on some of these subjects if I had the time LoL)
If I read your comment right, a big part of your reasoning for not wanting to make a move to the Philippines is because your children … Filipino by birth … have no future here?
I have to say that just clashes with my viewpoint like a cymbalist banging his instrument with both sticks during a quiet passage in the symphony performance.
The is so much opportunity in the Philippines today that it just amazes me. One of my greatest frustrations un living here is the difficulty in communicating the opportunities that are there, today, waiting to be exploited to those who are imbued with that 'third world country' mantra. Be assured of one thing. Whatever your opinion (to which you are entitled of course) there is tremendous opportunity for young people here in the Philippines, I kid you not.
A week or two back I noted in one of Bob's posts the statement that he expected his children (who are all US by birth by the way, they aren't 'trapped' here in any way) would stay in the Philippines and make their home here after their educations. As I recall there was virtually no notice taken/comments made on that. I thought there would be, frankly, becuase so many foreigners seem to hold the 'there is no future here' viewpoint as well.
But Bob's comment didn't ring false to me at all … especially in today's world were you can make your living anywhere in the world, independently of where your roof happens to be, I feel there is at least as much opportunity here as in nay country on earth.
Opposing views, of course, are appreciated and listened to.
The old harpsichord makers used to scribe two lines along the fronts of the keys, to help them get the keys aligned right. They had a tradition of missing one line off one of the keys, deliberately, as a reminder to 'leave perfection to God!'. I like that idea. Makes things easier.
Hi Dave,I'm glad you're open to opposing views :).Yes, my kids are filipinos by birth and they were from my first relationship,I've been married now for 10 years with a wonderful canadian that took my kids as his own. When I met my husband back in '98,he was ready to make the move to the philippines and open up a restaurant, he stayed there 5 months at a time during the winter in '96,'98,'2000 and stayed for a month during rainy season of july in '99. During those times, he experienced the filipino culture, and got burned several times by filipino mentality, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of honest filipinos too but you can count them on your fingers because most of the time he felt that they were out there to get him and take advantae of him. Of course I was there to protect him all the time, but what kind of life is that???to always be on guard and watching over your shoulder.
I guess,I was just able to compare life here in Canada,most canadians are honest,humble people and there are a few that you have to be careful of…What I am trying to say is,the numbers are the exact opposite of the philippines,honest vs.crooked among the population.I am not trying to stir up arguments here but I totally understand your point of view after all you are living there now. But think for a moment and try to figure out why there are about 8M filipinos out of the country trying to earn a living for themselves and for their family back home???Even professionals like Doctors,Lawyers,RNs,Accountants are willing to flip burgers and mop floors for the mighty dollar. The sad thing about it too,is that their education is not recognize here in US & CAN until they upgrade their education to meet the north american standard they will forever be nobody. I was able to make friends here from different countries like taiwan,china,these people are not immigrants,they were here because they chose to get their children educated here from elementary to high school and one of my taiwanese friend was paying about CAN$5,000/per semester,not including their board and lodging,she figures,she's been spending about CAN$20,000/year to send her son to $chool here,in the same school where my children goes,but I pay nothing because we are citizens here.I stand corrected,I guess the payment comes out of our property tax and many other taxes we pay he he he. That was my point,better education means better knowledge,better opportunities afterwards. Yeah,we live in a rat race here,but the standard of living are better.Sorry,too long of an explanation. I will be definitely happy to live there in the PI but I won't be contented to live far away from my children and my husband won't be happy to treated and looked at differently by my fellow countryman.He didn't like too much attention, as his favorite saying was" the problem with the Philippines was,there were too many filipinos", now I stirred up anger!!! Cheers.
By the way,can you mention an opportunity you can think of for young people there in PI.I have a nephew and a niece there that might get the chance to grab that opportunity. Just can't understand it if there are tremendous opportunities there,why is my country very poor??? Just a thought…Love this website…Cheers
Hi Jessica,
Thanks for writing back and sorry I am slow in responding. I'll answer both your last posts as one, and try to do it in l;ess wordy form that I am often guilty of.
First of all, I am not a Philippines 'pusher'. It is indeed not the place for everyone. My point in writing the article is to urge people to make decisions for the right reasons, not based on what others say and artifical excuses.
Second I am always an advocate of living here but making one's living elsewhere. In today's day an age the idea you have to live in the same place you earn a living is out moded. I write about this continually, and certainly this webiste is a prime example. I make moeny from non-Philippine sources even when I sleep. I was busy just before I answered this sending out product orers, cleaning up my bank account and setting up bill payments due right after the first of the month. I don't have a job in the Philippines, likely couldn't get one, and most of all, don't want one … but I live very confortably here. But my dice are loaded, I'm perhaps an unfair example, becuase I do have pension income (which took 40 years to earn) so I don't Have to work. Let's look at a more fair example. You say you enjoy this website … I'm happy you do and I'm sure that Bob, who brainstormed the whole thing and guides it carefully in a daily basis is even more happy 😉
But have you looked at the man himself? Bob writes often and openly about earning his living. Bob makes a comfortable living here, in a 100% honest and open manner, and his online businesses are essentially his sole means of support. He's a smart man and he works hard, but I doubt Bob himself would argue with me saying, he's not doing anything that couldn't be replicated by many other persona of reasonable intelligence and drive. If that's not opportunity in action, I don't know what is.
Now, I have had Filipino friends say to me, "oh, but that's different, he's a foreigner". Jessica, there are times I have had to hold back the urge to slap someone saying that … slap some sense into them. They are implying what, that Filipinos are inferior in intelligence and business acumen? If an American were to make a statement like that about Filipinos it would be the most blatant form of racism, discrimination and outright disrespect of a proud and worthy people, yet Filipinos go around saying(or implying) that about themselves on a daily basis. Who could have taught these people to disrespect themselv4es that badly? Boggles my mind.
I promised I wouldn't run too long and I am braking the promise. If someone thinks that 'Filinos can't be successful in the Philippines' is somehow right, let me give you three names of Filipinos I know personally are doing very nicely here, Filipino born and educated.
Carl Ocab. Abe Orlandres. Patick Co. Tell your pamamkins to research and see what these guys are doing and tell you honestly why they can't in their own country but would be successful in some other country. There are many many more I could name, but this will do as a start. Opportunity exists everywhere, but as Edison said it is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. Can you imagine where the world would be today if Edison had equated a mundane job with success? Changing countries does very little to chnge what a person can accomplish. Thanks again.
Hi Jessica,
I can add another name Jack Dulnuan from La Trinidad,Benguet,a true rags to riches story.
regards Chas.
It took me 6 weeks to sell my place pay off my debts and move to the Philippines the pros an cons were..Pros was my wife was in the phillipines and the cons were I wasn't ..So here I am liveing in the Philippines and no regrets , nobody has taken advantage of me, most of the people that live around me are from my wife's tribe … Phil n Jess
Jonaky and Bob, yes indeed. We almost always are are own worst critics. It is best, in life to learn to be alittle easier on your own self than we normally are. It really is no joke that when you work for yourself, you often have one hard to please SOB for a boss 😉
I loved the harpsichord story. I believe theer is a religious meaning to that mark of imperfection from way back when.
When I lived in Colorado I used to do ranch work with an old German fellow. Even building a barbed wire fence for our own use was a proposition, everything had to be straight, and even and aligned to a gnat's eyelash … pride in workmanship.
Then, in some part of the project were it was easily seen, my friend would deliberately leave something misaligned or crooked. When asked why, he said "That's my mark of imperfection." When asked why he needed one, his answer was "Beats me, my daddy taught me that and his daddy before him."
So memo to us all, don't be afraid to leave a mark of imperfection in your plans … even the finest craftsmen do.
Thanks for sharing that, Phil. Your experience points upa lot about what I have said and others too. The move need not be as complex as many want to make it our to be.
Also, I know a huge hurdle many feel they face these days is selling a home in the US … the market is recovering a bit in a few places, but in general is down and lible to stay down for some time. I've talked with alot of folks who let the 'I can't sell my house' issue stop them in their tracks when all other systems are 'go'. Maybe I should write about some of the options people could consider as an alternative to selling. Having a house beck in the US to 'retreat' to if things don't work out here might be a real asset rather than an impediment. You could keep your house and then perhaps sell it later when the market comes back. Just one 'dan' thought to throw out there into the great sea of "can'ts?.
Jessica: One thing that is true in nearly every success story about a Filipino is that you will most likely never "make it" working for someone else here… You always need to be prepared to do things yourself to make a living.
There are opportunities all over this country that is so rich in resources, both human and natural. Basic economics don't stop at borders… The principles are still the same. In fact, for someone with entrepreneurial spirit, good work ethic, and drive, I would state that it is actuially easier to start your own business here, due to the substantially lower start up costs than in the States.
Really the keys to success here are:
1.Education and learning your market… whatever you decide to do.
2. Focus on a need, whether product, quality, or service, and deliver on that promise.
Everything else is simply an excuse.
Thanks for sharing that, John. I agree 100%. Also, I think one of the issues here, re-reading a couple of Jessica;s comments is,the definition of success. It's no secret that I don't define "success" as having a JOB. Especially the way today's economy is moving it is likely to be a much better idea to strike out on your own … and over the course of working life, you'll will likely retire much richer.
Some might enjoy this article I wrote a few months back: http://philfaqs.com/editorials/phils-editorals/wh…
But let's, for th sake of discussion, define success as working for alrge corporation with a regular salary. I don't move much at all in business circles here, but already two of the Filipinos I've met are at international top level positions with large multi-national drug companies … one is based in Hong Kong and travels home every weekend, another is in New York city and lives in a pretty upscale suburban estae … but he's no regular OFW, he's just there until the company sends him on to his next assignment, he's already been an executive for that company in many other countries. Both these men are just ordinary Filipinos who graduated college here in the Philippines, took an entry level job and just refused to think of themselves as having limited opportunity because they were Filipinos living in the Philippines.
One of my Australian readers sent me a note on this subject privately too … he and his wife are Australasian citizens (she former Filipina) with children born in Australia, but they plan to move back to the Philippines before the children reach working age.
Why? A very practical reason .. if they come to the Philippines and 'reattach' with their Filipino birthright as well as their Australian, their career opportunities ought to be gratly expanded rather than if they try to fit into a "Aus only" or "Phil only" 'slot' in life.
Well I'm ready for the move.I don't want to marry a filipina there.How do i get a 20 year visa?Do i need to get my visa before i leave?Can i get it there?How much will it cost me?Maybe I'll get married there but much later.Are there any restrictions on how long i can stay.I"m 43 years old if that matters.Thanks you can share your own visa story just for the info.
Hi John,
Thanks for commenting. You've asked about three blog posts worth of questions there in one short comment. At age 43 you are too young for the SRRV program. Not married to a Filipina/former Filipina you don't qualify for the balikbayan program or a permanent residency visa.
So it;s likely your only option is to enter on a tourist visa, renew every 2 months and take a visa run out of the Philippines every 12 to 14 months to re-start your 'visa clock'. There are tons of articles here on this site and on my PhilFAQS site regarding the various visa programs, every person is different in their needs, their financial situation and their personal preferences, so I'd suggest you do a little reading, becuase I wouldn't be the one to decide what is best for you.
Dave,
I feel sorry for Jessica, how can she dislike her own country?
Well, actually it sounded like she hates her own country.
It is not a crime to be poor, there are more poor people than
there are rich people on earth.
Best to her.
Hi Cina, thanks for writing. I have to say I don't feel sorry for Jessica, and I don't get the idea myself that she hates the Philippines. But I do feel she may have fallen into a category of Filipinos I have met both in the Philippines and abroad who have been brainwashed into being blind to the true riches and values of their own country.
I was pleased by many comments and private emails I have received about the 'Opportunity' issues from Filipinos and foreigners alike.
There indeed is a lot of opportunity in the Philippines, but a big problem in recognizing that fact is the attitude of thousands of educators and government officials who seem to have dedicated themselves to running down their own country. Many of these folks are far better educated than I, surely they realize the truth behind the principle of the self-fulfilling prohecy syndrome.
If you raise a child telling him he's worthless, low class and will never amount to anything, there is a huge chance that is how she will grow up. If you tell a whole nation they are 'third class and doomed to remain that way, unless they flee to greener pastures, there's a signifcant chance that is the way they will turn out to be.
It's a bit of a mystery to me .. one of those 'culture shock' things that the travel books don't prepare you for.
One of the most surprising things to me, when my wife and I decided to move to the Philippines, was the reaction from many Filipino freinds and family members. I heard a lot more negative comments and predictions of gloom from Filipinos than I did from fellow Americans. Made me wonder for a time, was I making a big mistake? What did they know that I didn't?
Still, everyone is entitled to their beliefs and opinions, and I respect Jessica's along with everyone else's.
I am a Filipina and I've been living here in the Philippines for almost 24 years already. Not to be bias at all but I can testify that it's really good to travel here. I do agree that there are not so good places, too. And that's a fact. In reality, we all know that not all places are perfect. There are pros and cons they say. Actually, it's on the way we live aad the way we appreciate the things around us…You'll miss half of your life if you couldn't travel here. Good luck and more power! See you here!
Can i just say something about Jessica's, as well as most of the Filipinos attitudes/opinions about their country, the brainwashing was done by the spanish colonizer telling us(filipinos) worhtless and less than animals and filipinos seeing them living the good life out of our country. Imagine experiencing that for 300+ years then came the 50+ years of living the hollywood life of living brought on by the americans. It's like a bit too much of a sudden change when filpinos haven't even gotten a firm hold of their own unique identity.
I personally wouldn't like to go outside my cou ntry to work coz it's like giving up on your own country. I'm inclined to hack it out here bad government, politicians and all.
Just gave an insight on the cause of the mentality that Jessica showed.
More power to all of you guys!!!!!!!
Thank you for the article Dave.
My husband, born Canadian was here in the Philippines last year with me. He made up his mind and he wanted to retire here.
I was born here, spent the first 25 years here, education and a good banking career, but even now, I am NOT YET CONVINCE that I wanted to retire here. I am not rich in Canada, but the basic amenities in the first world is a luxury here in the Philippines.
I grow up in a small town,working class, where everyone knows me. It is good and bad, because one mistake can be total chaos, one right thing…well, everyone forget it anyways.
At 34, with two Canadian kids, I have 16 years to decide whether i want to come back home here in Badian, Cebu for retirement. For 10 years, this is my 3rd vacation back home. My husband Robert came with me last year, and he already decided that we will both retire here soon. At 31, he sees something in the Philippines…I don't really know what is it.
This country is way too small for all of us. At 500,000 sq kilometers, this is so small compared to Ontario, Canada which is 1 million sq. kms. That's only one province.
I like the peace and quite of Ontario, so many rocks to climb, and the capital has the nicest bike pathways. I like Ottawa better than Cebu. What about skiing? This has no place to ski at all…
Anyways, I will keep reading this LIP blog hoping I can convince myself, that at 50 years old, I can forget the nice Niagara Boulders for rock climbing, and come sailing in Pinas.
At this rate, I am bound to move to California and retire in the Yosemite….nah…maybe I won't be as hyper athletic when I am 50.
Thanks for sharing!
Angelina
Hi Christine,
Sorry I neglected to answer this until now. Actually it worked out well since I had a nice conversation yesterday with a fellow who has worked for years as a recruiter of nurses from the Philippines and a hospital administration staffer in the US.
I didn't advocate you coming back to the Philippines to teach … I mentioned supervising teachers of nursing and/or designing and administering the courses of instruction at schools here in the Philippines. On the whole, Philippine nursing schools are doing a fine job teaching the technicalities of nursing. Phils graduates seldom have any trouble with nursing techniques and their actual medical skills.
But nursing schools here are particularly weak (and this is CHED and other knowledgeable Philippine agency's viewpoint, not my shoot from th ehip opinion) … particularly weak in preparing their students for the actual day-to-day aspects of nursing in a foreign country.
In particular language skills, nurse-patient relationships, nurse-physician relationships, insurance forms and Medicare and other regulations which dictate so much of _how_ a nurse in the US is actually able to put his/her skills to work.
Deans of instruction, school administrators and other leadership positions at Philippine nursing schools are typically way below the 'power curve' on teaching their students the realities of the job of nursing, versus the medical skills of nursing … many otherwise excellent schools are operating on waivers becuase they can't fill the positions that by government rules, and just plain common sense _need_ to be filled by nurses, nurse practiobners, etc, who have actually worked abroad.
I'm pretty sure you'll agree that your first year or so in the US (or are you in Canada, sorry I forgot) was way, way different than what nursing school prepared you for .. or am wrong here?
I have no medical qualifications at all, but I've been in lots of hospitals, and how nurses go about their routines here in the Philippines seems way different than how they go about their work in the USA … that's why knowledgeable, foreign-experienced nurses are badly needed … to tell the teachers what to teach, if you will.
Thank you Jenn, well put indeed. You know, I think a lot of the apparent conflict here is the idea of people confusing what works or doesn't work for them, personally, with some sort of over 'score sheet' for a particular country.
I am US born and raised. I love the US. It's full of opportunity. I encourage anyone who wants to go there and who can do so legally, to go, enjoy, stay if you wnat or make money and go back home … mor epoer to you.
That doesn't make the US inherently good or inherently bad. becuasse there are things about the US that I absolutely abhor. Some people might go there and take one look at the crime, especially the horribly cancerous and ever-spreading problems of so-called 'ethical' drugs that Americans dose themselves with , the blatant disrespect for police, parents school administrators, etc. and say "let me out of here, which way is the door"?
That doesn't make the USA inherently bad either. It doe smean it is not the place for everyone.
The same line of thought holds true for the Philippines or for any other country I have lived and/or worked in. Guess you could say I had alove/hate relationship with them all.
This whole discussion got started with astatement that there is 'no opportunity in the Philippines', and that I hold as patently false. It's false for almost aby country you could name as well.
The thing that i think confuses us is, opportunity, unimplemented is useless. It's also as common as dirt. People lie next to opportunity day after day and pay it no attention. I belive it was Churchill who said, "Many men stumble across opportunity, but most just pick themselves up and continue plodding, taking no further notice."
Ernest, thank you so much for writing. And yes, I can agree with almost everything you say. But I want to add something that maybe won't be pleasant for some to hear, but I think it has to be said.
While everything you say is true, the time has now come to Get Over It.
I've had many learned Filipinos lecture me on the same issue. The Spanish imbued the Filipino with a senns eof hopelessness, etc. and etc. The US could have done better, and so on.
I dispute none of that, but I do dispute and at times even get angry with Filipnos and Philippine apologists who keep reciting the same mantra in 2009 as they did 40 years ago.
In my opinion the Philippine government and the educational system often go out of their way to perpetuate the sad facts of Philippine history as a crutch for modern times. Understanding the root cause of the problem is a worthy academic goal, but fixing the problem is much simpler … teaching children from day one that "Filipino Pride" involves more that rooting for Manny and Charise … it involves getting up every morning and saying "I" am an exceptional, unique person with value and worth, and I don't have to box like Manny or sing like Charise in order to be someone, and I won't denigrate my own country, especially to foreigners, I will speak of my country with the pride she is due."
Again, sorry for coming on strong here, but the Spanish are more than 100 years gone, the American government more than 50 years in the past, it's time to live in the present. Or so Dave opines.
I have no problem with what you said Dave.In fact i agree with you. I also hate the fact that no one from the government does something about it. I also know and feel that this pinoy pride should really start from each one of us. But i believe we need to have a change in mental attitude about ourselves. I really hate it that a lot of times the filipinos discrimanate against their countrymen in favor of a foreigner. It's about time that Filipinos stand up for themselves and not be "paralysed by analysis".
By the way Dave, the best example of Filipino excellence for me at least is the ReyCard duo, Lea Salonga and in boxing Flash Elorde.
Thanks for sharing that, Angelina. Your thoughts, and Robert's, touched me in many ways.
By far, I see more in the Philippines than doe my Philippine-born, dual citizen wife, Mita. And what do I see? It's difficult to explain … something akin to how it was in the US 50 years ago? Americans born in the past30 years ago have basically _NO_ idea what the US used to be like, before it became a Federal Empire.(I include both parties in this, no Red/Blue arguments, please)
I think, writing the paragraph above (and actually writing another paragraph which I deleted ;-), I see one of the things about the Philippines which appeals to me about the as an older native American. For all it's problems and foibles the government of the Philippines just doesn't loom so large over those of us living here.
In many cases, my own included, the Filipino member of the marriage has much more trouble adjusting to life here in the Philippines than the foreign partner.
I did not write this piece to encourage or discourage people to move to the Philippines or to move back to the Philippines. Somehow a few of the comments indicate people have taken it that way. Your description of Canada strikes home to me even though I haven't been there. If you think _I_ don't miss the mountains of Colorado, the 'Big Sky' of Montana or a thousand other things about my native country, you would be sadly mistaken.
My only point in writing was to encourage people to be responsible for their own decision and most of all, to MAKE a decison, not to waste their lives in endless indecsion.
For those who chose the Philippines, welcome. To those who say, "Thanks but no thanks" … great. Glad you got off the fence and actually made the decision, and God bless everyone, no matter where they chose to live.
So true, Ernest, so true. For all the unkind or even downright discriminatory remarks foreigners have made … and of course, sadly, they go on all the time, I have heard a continual chorus of sometimes even worse comments from my Filipino friends and neighbors. Saddens me. Sometimes even puts me in a strange position of defending a country I have little stake in and a country which truthfully doesn't need my defense.
Thanks again for your comments, Ernest, and looking back at the string of comments here, i feel, as so often happens, we are getting far afield from the original article (I'm one of the guilty parties there). So let's see if we can move some of the new comments into the LIP Forums area perhaps … http://www.liveinthephilippines.com/forum/
there's a lot here that ought to be discussed, but probably not as acomment to the original article.
Hi
i am a born filipino, now 51 yrs old, married with no kids. me and my wife came here in canada in 2000 after working/living in singapore for 7 years. when we arrived in toronto in sept 2000, we realized that we just jumped from the frying pan to the fire.
the main reason that filipino families want to migrate mainly to the usa or canada is " our kids will have better opportunities there, in the phil nada". the reason we moved here in canada, even though we are in a very good situation in singapore, is to experience the american/canadian way of living or in other words the material things in life that only in the usa or canada can be had. i am sure that this also goes to the majority of these filipinos but nobody will admit it, it's always for the future of the kids.
just after a few months of arriving here in 2000, we have made a decision that we'll just save enough money and go back in the phil for good. life here is not for me. i am poor in the phil, but much much more happier. we couldn't wait the time when will be back in the phil, hopefully in 3 years time.
regards
Your article immediately reminded me of a great quote.
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so": Bertrand Russell
I agree things are getting bad in the US To be honest I moved more out of fear for what is obviously going on there than for what is here (this was before I had a wife and son here). I have given up on most Americans thinking and jumped ship. But this is a good country and I have found many opportunities along with a family. Still working on developing an independent income instead of relying on disability but it is coming along just takes time.
I am so happy to see men sharing their feelings about life and how they made a decision for their own future and happiness; I have met someone as most of us men have. Someone that was true. This woman is my life and after a couple of years of trading our messages and showing each other how much we care for each other. The step in this new undiscovered world for me is a leap of certainty and confidence in the one I care for. She has shown me that there is kindness and caring. Fellow men and ladies, never ever Undermined love, it does move mountains and in our heart we are all allowed to be loved. Thank you, all that I read has made me so confident in our faith in the Philippines. I am 43 years old and I am proud to say my future wife is my best friend and happiness will be part of our lives. Thank you for all the advice on site also from Mindanao Bob to all the others that say there advices.
J.P. in friendship & peace
Hi John – Welcome to the site! I'm happy to have you here.
How is the best way & cheapest to get your things to the Philippines? Also, can you live comfortably on $770 a month until receiving social security in 16 years?
Hi Jim,
Thanks for your comment. Im afraid there are so many 'bonus' questions in you original comment thast I can't offer a lot of specific answers. "to get your things to the Philippibnes" .. what think, how many pouns/cubic meters (the way you will eventually be charges after all is aid and done), what is the citizenship of the owner, from where to where (the Philippines is a big place), etc. People move here with everyhting from just what they carry in thesirline baggage to multiple shipments of ocean containers, so I think you can see the breadth of the question. Bob, and many of the other authors here have written a ton of information on this subject … the little 'search the website' button can be agood friend to you. I've also written many articvles 0on the subject on my own site, http://www.philfaqs.com feel free to visit.
Can you live on $770 a month? Again, I don't know. Don't even know if you are talking US dollars, we have lots of 'other dollar' earners and spenders here in the Philippines. But assuming you do mean US, the answer is quite iffy. Are you single? What sort of lifestyle will you live? Where will you be based, etc. As a quick appraisal, you would be tight. My wife and I are pretty thrifty abd we spend over a thousand US per month … again I write alot on that subject, but I have no way of knowing what your needs and lifestyle will be. Obviously you _can_ live on that amount, millions and millions of Filipinos live on that much _per_year_, so you can too, the question you have to ask is how hard are you willing to work at living? All the best to you.
Hi Dave
I have just come across your web site,and read what some people have written,about moving to the Philippines.Well i am married to a filipina for 10 years now,and love it.She is from Cebu but her parents live in Mindanao now.I have been there and i really love it ,cause it is so beautiful.I am retired from the military in 2005,and plan on retiring from my job as a truck driver in 3 more years at age 62.We have already made plans to move to Mindanao to live in Sindangan,and no one can change our mind on that.We won't be rich,but my retirment will let us live just fine ,with no worries.With the sale of things here before we move we will be able to buy our land and build a house and it will be paid for when we move there.Life is good.
Scott
hello dave i read tour comments and agree 100% on most of what you say
iam going to the philippines because i met a beautiful girl whom wants me there . she is a poor unfortionant girl that needs so much and iv’e been helping her. i love her dearly and look forward to the change. i live in west palm beach fl. and every thing here is not rosie. im retired and have spent lots of money ,mostly sent to her. knowing what im getting into. i bought her a new pc and diamond engagement ring to show her im very serious. she lives in caloocan city in a run down compound. she has 4 yrs of college but cant afford to pay for exams. she majored in biology. i want her to get degree so she can possibly work at local university. anyway i just had to tell you that im all for these people and i might get a one way ticket thanks for your time to read about my beautiful philippino girl friend thank you john balester
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That’s a very good article and I agree completely. For many years I wanted to leave Germany and go to Cameroon. I took a lot of informations and asked my cameroonian friends and I got different results. Some said that with about 150 EUR each month I could have a good life there and that sounded nice because I have a pension of 300 EUR each month. others said, I couldn’t go there with only a few thousand Euro and that pension. So I spent years without making a decision and my life in Germany got more and more problematic.
Then I got to know a wonderful Filipina in the Internet and when I propsed to her this year I spontaneously decided to move to the Pilippines. On the 22. of February I arrived here in Manila and live since then with the girl. We married on the 22. of September and I didn’t regret one second that I left Germany and that I had to leave there the most of my property. I came here just with a suitcase, a bag and my laptop and I’m very happy that I made this decision. This time I just followed my heart and no analysis could paralyse me.
So two thumbs up for that great article.
You say you have a pension of 300 EUR each month, which is roughly $403. I hope you are doing well because according to expats’ estimates, generally, $1500 each month for a couple is considered just “getting by”.
Thanks for the kind words, Wolfgang. Wishing you a lot of success. I’d really, really like to know more about living on 300 Euro’s per month. I’d like to get some tips from you on that, my wife and I spend a lot more thna that, we live quite modestly, and our house is small, old, and … well “basic” by US/Western European standards. More power to you.
You are 100% right on. I have worked with Pinoy a few times over the years, known the nurses in hospitals and a cousin of mine even married a girl from down there. Love the food, love the Filipinos I have met. (Don’t know if I’ll have the courage to try balut though) A friend of mine has been going down there to Cebu for 8 years off and on. Met the love of his life, just quit his job, gave away most of his stuff, took early retirement and left. They are living in a nice hotel for less than he paid here in rent, until they can find a more permanent place. He has been talking to me about it for years and I am to the point where I am going to check it out for myself. It’s either keep getting older and stay here, now being underpaid in my job, and worrying about what will happen to me when I hit 65. I know I will like the place, and you have to be one of the small percentage of people who still have a sense of adventure. I’d love to retire in Bora Bora or Spain or Greece, but I can’t afford it so I asked myself, Why not try the Philippines? Just sell my stuff, pack up and go. I’d have enough to manage for a few years…..Sometimes you just have to take a chance in life!
Dave, I love your straight forward approach. People may not agree with you, but they can’t say that your communication is unclear. I love with. Your writings match my back ground a former Pastor and a retire Marine.
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the kind words. Marcus,
I doubt I have a strong enough testimony to ever be a preacher, but for sure I’ll take being compared to a Marine as a compliment.
“Now listen up, youse guys. For those of you who can’t make a decision, the Marines are looking for a Few Good Men, and You Ain;t It! (thanks, Clint)